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i'm an 18 year old grill in college and it seems as if i can't have fun/feel empty constantly
i've had depression since 14 but even then smoking weed/hanging with friends made me happy
right now i just feel like i'm a ghost at parties/social situations. i've had intense alcohol problems for a year now and i'm progressing into more weed/vicodin
i can only "enjoy" these substances alone. when kids my age talk about parties and alcohol and shit it's so boring to me. nothing interests me socially anymore. i have sex but don't enjoy it because i feel like i only can enjoy it if i love that person. food isn't that great either.
i have "hobbies" for example im an accomplished classical musician and i enjoy that but in terms of going out socially i feel dead
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>>18636099
50 yo man here. So I'll sound like your dad, likely.
You need to sort yourself out. Stop the casual use of alchol and drugs. I'm not against ANY use, but DON'T use them when you're alone to make you happy. That's a killer.
You have an excellent hobby in music. Use that to reach people. If you're accomplished, you must have those circles you hang out with. Start there. Make friends there. TONS of free events in the classical music world, whether on campus or in nearest large city at larger universities.
Weed will make your depression worse. So I'd cut that out.
Do some hard self-examing. You're only 18. Real young. Make smart decisions and choices now. Don't have sex just because you think you "should," either. That's a very dangerous place to be in.
Good luck!
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