Linger on love

I know I do.

And I know I should not.

>>18635921
OP again
I met mine in a bar a couple years back. We dated at like 16-18 and exchanged virginities.
When I met her at the bar she was chatting to my friends so I decided I go over and say hello.
She kind of grimaced/laughed and turned away before I could speak.
Broke my heart you know. I miss my friend.

We didn't end that badly either btw. Like no real injuries issued on either side.

The first cut is the deepest

>>18635940
So does everyone go through this?
Or otherwise have a terrible marriage and a life of regret?
Because I broke it off with her because I wanted to you know...try new things I suppose. Felt like telling Lassie we didn't want it around any more.

>>18635916
No, I do not miss her. I put it on the shelf, I think about it from time to time, and I nod and try to think of the next one. I think about how dumb it was, how everything has its place and time, and that relationship as well had its place and its time.

>She dated Seth Green and he did bang bang with her and you were jealous

I did not watch Nickelodeon. I'm not jealous of anyone fucking, especially if they are sheltered and rich and have it easier than the staggering majority of the population on earth. I instead laugh at how easy their lives are and how they do not know genuine struggle or difficulty.

I miss the girl I had an LDR with when I was 17. I never did see her but we talked on the phone every weekend and she fell in love with me. We "dated" for about a year and a half before splitting up. Looking back I know it wasn't a real relationship, but it felt great. She was only for me and wasn't jaded by heartbreak, past failed relationships and didn't have high expectations of who I was supposed to be. She loved me because I treated her well and I loved her because she is the only person in my entire life I've ever been able to be 100% vulnerable with. I told her stuff about myself that would send women my age running for the hills. Even when I'm with a woman now I feel alone because I feel I'm always being tested and evaluated. I can't be who I truly am with anyone and have any sense of security.

>>18635943
Of course. But you don't need to pine for her, just remember what you had, smile that it happened, learn from it and move on.

I think it's one of the best lessons on reality... All things must come to an end, one way or another.

>>18635951
Initials?

>>18635957
Girls initials are BM

>>18635951
...Derek? Is that you??

I don't think "miss" is the right word.

It's more like fondness for specific memories and it gets a bit blurred with nostalgia about simpler times of youth that don't actually have a whole lot to do with her. I came to realize that it's not really her the person that I miss terribly much.

For example, I miss the feeling of the firsts.
>>The first time I laid hands on what seemed like impossibly soft girl-skin.
>>The first time my trembling fingers went higher and higher up her pale thighs until I could feel her slick wetness
>>The first time she was trembling in my arms while crying
>>The feeling of kissing for the first time

It's the stories and the sensations that you miss - everything feels so raw and serious and real when you're a teen or young adult, then you mellow out as an adult.

Even most of the lewd stuff starts to fade away. Like I knew I was obsessed with her ass and since she was "no sex till marriage" I would fondle her butt while she teased my cock to bursting - but out of 100+ times I did it I can remember maybe like two or three times at most.

>>18635916
I do all the time. It still haunts me how easily they moved on, as if it was just a childish misstep in their life. The person I loved doesn't exist anymore.

Can we get a female perspective in here?
I feel like men care way more and it disturbs me.

I still have strong feelings for my first girlfriend. I realize you get that a lot on 4chan, but in my case I'm 34 and I've had many serious (deeper in some respects) long-term relationships since then.

She was a brilliant and unique young woman who shared a lot of interests and traits (both good and bad) with me. But things fell apart between us after a couple years and I couldn't keep it up. I hear she's doing well now, so I'm genuinely happy for her. I'm just left hoping there's an alternate universe out there where our doppelgangers are still together.

Only one woman I've gone out with since then was as smart--a 39yo PHD molecular biologist doing engineering management at a medical startup. That made me realize just how rare my teenage first girlfriend was.

>>18636169
I stayed with my first love. Loved him since I was 17. 26 now, been best friends for years, he just realized a few months ago that he returned my feelings and now we're together.

I broke up with my first love 6 months ago, and I haven't had one day where I don't think about her at least once. She's moved on with her fat, disgusting rebound. They've probably done every sexual act in the book. I was her first love, but she probably loves her new bf more than she ever loved me. Even if she comes back, I'd be so digusted with her for even thinking about sleeping with such a shut in, drug addicted fatass with tons of body odor.

Because of the breakup, I got into self-improvement and became an amazing person.
But I still get depressed over her, and cry every once in a while.

>>18635951
damn anon, had the exact same experience. my first gf, ldr, never met, same age ballpark, so close to each other. we know things about each other none else does, without judging. never opened to anyone like that before or since.
And it ended in July after a year and a half.

>>18635957
>>18636037
sad that this is common

>>18636299
Yay. Thankyou for keeping the faith. I don't want to be bitter, I really don't. Best of luck to you both.

>>18636403
It's only been 6 months dude it's definitely normal for you to still be a bit torn up. Chin up.

>>18636283
Yeah see this is more like my problem.
When you're first is very special. Unfortunately the logical side of me was like "there still might be better!".
Yeah. So far not so much. Haha

>>18636169
My first love broke my heart. We were best friends, things went bad and he stopped talking to me and I had no closure. He treated me badly as a friend. I was sad and missed him for a few months. Then I was angry at him for like 2 years, but it faded in intensity. A lot of time has passed and there are no hard feelings. Still curious about how his life is going and catch up every now and then. Sometimes I do think its funny if something bad happens to him, but mostly I wish him the best.

I broke up with my first serious boyfriend about a year ago. I still miss him and think about him, I find myself comparing my current boyfriend to him, which isn't fair to anyone.
I reminisce about the way we were pretty much always on the same page, had our own language. We were each other's first and I really treasure that bond and intimacy. But then I have to remind myself that there were bad times too. And as time goes on I recognise some of the dysfunctional parts of our relationship and feel bad.
I don't know how this will change as more time passes.