My husband wants to change me

Why did he marry you in the first place? Was he attached to you then, has his tastes changed? You're either going to get divorced or really work on it. Have you considered marriage counseling?? That would be there best step. Look into five love languages.


Honestly this sounds really sad, I hope things work out for you.

>>18634428
He use to like playing video games with me and thought I was cute. I guess as I got older he no longer found it cute. I have gave up a lot for him, my career, my goals and where I would like to live. It feels like this relationship is becoming one sided. Is that the meaning of being a women married to a man you are expected to give up everything and more in order for them to live a certain status? I know that not everyone feels that way but that is how I feel it is driving towards. Now that I am dealing with this longer and longer I regret getting married I wish to never again have to. All the beliefs he knew I had in the first place his family is constantly trying to get me to change and he does not stand up for me it feels like I am in the middle of a battle field all by myself. I have tried talking to him about it and he says I need to stand up for myself.

I think his tastes in attraction have changed when we got married he was a shy guy himself who liked to stay at home watch tv and play games together. His profession changed him into a guy who likes to go out with friends and drink. I am allergic to alcohol myself so I can do that plus the fact I have a disability that is a sensitivity to sound so loud environments can be very tolling on me.

>>18634476
To add I do not think he agree to marriage counseling.

Destroy normie careerisn its a cancer on society

>>18634476
I understand that some people live by certain gender roles, but I do not find these ones compatible.
>you are expected to give up everything and more in order for them to live a certain status
>I need to stand up for myself.

If you're going to give up everything and be perfect for him, he's supposed to be the one protecting you both. Sounds like divorce is what you want though, and is probably your best option.

>>18634555
I'd agree, divorce him. Move back with some family while you get your stuff together, especially if he has a bad temper.

He's already cheating on you.
Fact that you're being asked to change is sign he's guilty of cheating and doesn't want to keep up with it or has thought of cheating on you.
Point is you're no longer what he wants. He's trying to sabotage the relationship instead of picking up his big boy pants, and having the cajones to tell you "hey anon these butches make me diamonds. You're no longer what I want. Can we agree to end this marriage?"

Most people don't like divorce because in a sense it a form of failure. To a point it is but it's a success to accept defeat and to open yourself up to new things.

Also how old are you? How long has your relationship gone for and how long have you been married for?

My opinion/adv is based at just the quick read of your first post. I need more info to be capable of giving you well rounded advice.

>>18634581
His job causes him to be away a lot and the women who is with are all into fitness where I am pretty average but dress like a tomboy.

I am fairly young I am 24 he is 30 we have been married for two years now.

Also the way you feel about marriage shows how twisted your marriage has grown to be.

That is NOT how marriage should work or be viewed to be.

When you start sacrificing yourself it's because you do a lifestyle change for your kids.

Assuming you don't have kids. Doing a lifestyle change isn't really a real need here. Unless of course you're a real shut in. It's not bad to change a little. You don't have to drink but to just be there to hangout is cool enough. Going out and loud noises are a problem? Take ear plugs.

But to be left to fend yourself against his family is a big fat no. Nope the fuck out get a divorce and go be yourself elsewhere.

So yeah.

Go be single enjoy yourself.
You'll run into someone who's wanting you for what you are. And won't want to do a personality overhaul.

>>18634593
Yeah, you're so young. You should consider leaving, find some support like a therapist for yourself to help with this.

>>18634593
How long did you date for before the marriage?
Tomboy? How Tomboyish are you?
I'm a bit of a tomboy but I'll randomly dress girlier. Sort of as a hey look at me I'm a girl but also a bit for my boyfriend.
But he knows I prefer pants over dresses so when I do it he's happy but won't ask for an overhaul of personality/wardrobe.

So when you wrote that a personality overhaul and so much sacrifice on your part is being asked of you, it makes me mad. I've been in a one sided relationship before. It ate me up real badly. One sided relationships are not worth saving in my opinion. The person who makes it one sided typically won't notice until you're gone. And at that point you gotta remember not to be suckered back into it.

>>18634419
initiate divorcerape.exe
hes probably cheating/working on it anyway. fuck people that try to change you. i have had similar problems in the past, thankfully i was not married to any of them. i would trade a kidney for a girl that shared even one or two of my hobbies

>>18634593
While you grow you change too. Maybe his views have changed on things. Everything youve told us you should approach him in a calm manner about it. You're right that he's around high maintenance women. And I'm not necessarily saying you need to do that. Just see what he likes about it. If he wants change and you can't change in the slightest without resentment I would say go your own way. There's nothing wrong about that.

>>18634476
Maybe he just wants you to leave the house and do stuff outside with him more

It doesn't have to be drinking and loud parties you know

>>18634593
Get into fitness and dress a bit more girly then?
If you want to try and salvage this relationship those might be the 2 easiest steps, working out would be good for your long-term health too.

>>18634476
>I think his tastes in attraction have changed when we got married he was a shy guy himself who liked to stay at home watch tv and play games together.
get a divorce. he is never going back to his old self. go back to school and make your own dreams come true.

>>18634419
You don't even have to leave the house or change the way you look or act on the outside. Shave your pussy and do not tell him and send him a pic saying YOURS.