Social skills general

>>18634116
Two of those you can fix with discipline and initiative, one you can fix with practice. Fixing those with fix the fourth. Have fun, be safe, make good choices. I love you, buddy.

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>>18634117
getting an exciting life can be fixed with discipline and initiative? how?

my coworkers only have exciting lives because they have friends. they're always going to some party or dinner. i dont have friends in the first place, so i can't do that.
and i dont have the social skills to get friends

>boring, no hobbies
>no friends to do things with

You're boring and you have no hobbies. You wouldn't know what to do with friends if you had any.

>>18634118
If you can't figure out which can be fixed with which and which follows I can't help you. Do something for yourself once in your goddam life.

>>18634116
Find an interest. Any interest at all. I like anime n i got a group of friends who likw anime as well

>>18634116
1, 3, 2

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>>18634120
how do i stop being boring?
what are good hobbies? lifting, reading and watching movies and tv aren't enough it seems

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>>18634116
>ywn tittyfucc her

>>18634116
It's your personality. You can't change if your an adult. Do things that make you happy.

>>18634124
A good hobby is one you like THAT HAS A SOCIAL ELEMENT. Find every activity in your neighborhood that has a group meetup and try each one until you find one you like.

>lifting, reading and watching movies and tv aren't enough it seems

Yeah, because sitting alone in the dark isn't conducive to socialization.

>>18634124
Quit watching TV. Limit the computer time. Don't watch movies alone. Seek out reading groups or book clubs.
I'm sure you have more interests, just haven't tried them yet. I'm 35, and in just the last year I discovered how much I like forging and bonsai. I do them alone, but they produce things others like to see, and give me intimate knowledge of hobbies that many know just enough about to want to know more. My favorite thing has always been spending time in nature. This one is a gem. It garners the interest of people who like to be fit, or at least want to be, and who want to be in touch with nature. Those are the type of people I want to surround myself with. And I've made acquaintances in to friends by taking them on a hike. I've even taken a few grills on a hike as a date. It's something that taps into the basic instinct of humans, and everyone who enjoys it seems too be people I can get along with and even bond with.
Society is full of vapid and shallow interaction, between ads, media, and social trends. Find anything you are passionate about, and do it until you're not a novice about. Your passion will leak out, and that will appeal to the open minded or curious. You'll get about a 50/50 positive response to an invitation to an acquaintance to accompany you as you practice your passion.

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>>18634116
My social skills are so bad I can't even imagine talking to girls. I can talk easily with dudes and I have hobbies i'm passionate about(and i'm not doing these hobbies for girls)
I'm 21, never talk to girls even when going out unless it just happens. I just can't imagine myself ever having a girlfriend

It also doesn't help that i'm severely depressed right now

>>18634126
I completely disagree, if anything as an adult you possess more power to change. Being funny is a skill for sure, just like storytelling or conversation. Some people just get lots of practice as they're growing up.

Have you tried just being yourself op?

>>18634116
You don't know how to talk to people because you don't care about them you're a self centered little bitch who doesn't give a shit about anything unless it gets you something out of it and that leaks out, everyone around you notices when you're trying to act up to get some bitch's attention. The moment you get over yourself and start caring for your fellow human you will get good at talking to people, thats the thing 4chan autists don't understand.

A conversation is a two way street you talk to someone because you want their feedback on something, because you care about what they have to say. If you can't get to this step you will never stop being a friendless recluse.You're boring because your selfish little life is limited to things that only interest you, so you live in your own little world surrounded by only what is convenient to you and it doesn't look inviting to anyone else. The moment you step out into the world and start seeking things that you can share with other people, they start getting interested in you.

My advice? Do charity, offer yourself to any local charity, it will make you talk to people and it will make people depend on you, it will show the world and yourself that you're capable of more than just being a selfish prick.

>>18634116
aight OP listen up. You've got a couple different issues here so let's do it.

>How do I get an exciting and interesting life?
Simple bro. Just do stuff that is exciting and interesting. The important thing is that you do something that YOU find interesting and exciting. Of course there are issues with some hobbies(how can I afford that) but you can definitely find things and make it work.

>How do I get stories
Good stories happen to those who can tell them. Get stories by doing stuff, like with hobbies you can have stories about "Hey I was bouldering in Colorado this one time..." but another part of the skill is learning to see the stories in everything. A good conversation you had with someone can be a story in itself, like you can do impressions and exaggerate. I personally think it's ok to omit some details for the sake of the story. Storytelling is a skill and I think should be part of your goal here too. Maybe listen to some radio podcasts("This American Life" is GOAT) and listen to how they tell stories, pay attention to your friends who are good at storytelling. Remember: Good stories happen to those who can tell them.

1/2

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>>18634116
>How do I be funny
This is much the same as storytelling, it's about seeing the possibilities in the normal things. You can spin things certain ways, or maybe you have a completely different idea, or maybe you push a conversation towards the ridiculous(I'll just point out that I specifically wrote "towards the ridiculous" because if you go completely mad then you are liable just to look weird, not that that should matter but whatever). Some people are lucky that they got to practice younger and thus have worked out their sense of humour, so you'll just have to make some bad jokes to gather the information as to what is bad and what is good.

>What would I say to them to make them interested in me
To answer your question directly: it's not about saying things to them, but just being straight up interesting. Also realise that you will not be interesting to everyone. But here's the thing with this: you're framing the question in a way that places the power in their hands when in actuality they have none. You're basing your self-worth on other peoples perceptions of you. But what do they have to do with it? Who are they? What right to they have to decide how important you are? The only person that can decide that is you. You have the power to change. It is not easy but you can.

Also: read pic related, now there's a fucking great book. Every page has some concise, potent wisdom and I think you might gain a lot from it. Another suggestion is one called "Emotional Intelligence 2.0".

Hope this helps bro, let me know if you got questions and I'll keep an eye on the thread

>>18634133
how do i do exciting things? everything seems to require connections or friends to do them with

like bouldering on Colorado sounds cool. I've been bouldering indoors, but i have no friends to boulder with in the outdoors

>>18634177
>everything seems to require connections or friends to do them with

Join a club or some other group to do shit.

>>18634128
This guy gets it.

>>18634129
What stops you from talking to girls the way you talk to guys?

>>18634116
>Nina and VJ in the same picture

I am Diamonds . I would pay an arm, a leg, and a lung, to have threesome with these two.

>>18634116
>how do i get an exciting and interesting life?
Leave the house, do things.
>how do i get stories or funny anecdotes to tell others of things that happened to me or someone i know?
Leave the house, do things.
>how do i be funny?
Talk to people, find out what humour works in what situations, know your audience, easy peasy.

>pic related, if i saw them at a bar and i was by myself, what would i say to them to make them interested in me
Honestly? you can't, unless you're mega attractive, otherwise the only way you can keep their attention is by buying them drinks, which they will only milk you for more free stuff.

I'll expand on the first questions in my next post

>>18634845
>>18634124
>how do i stop being boring?
>what are good hobbies? lifting, reading and watching movies and tv aren't enough it seems
None of those hobbies involve other people, that's why they aren't enough.
Join a club that involves doing something with other people, running, martial arts, sports, even spin classes at your gym.
If you attend something regularly with other people, you will talk to them as a result, that's how you make friends.
By leaving the house, you will end up meeting more people and gaining life experience.
If this is a real struggle you can consider signing up to websites like meetup, there you can find groups of people with similar interests who go out and do things, yes they will be odd, but that's where you reside on the social ladder.

90% of life is showing up, you aren't getting any interesting stories sitting at home, watching films, sitting on 4chan or lifting.

>>18634126
This is the kind of attitude that keeps people lurking sites like these.

>>18634800
Not op but their tits and face. I can't stop staring at their tits and when I look at their eyes so its not obvious that I'm looking at her tits I get nervous and break eye contact.

>>18634874
Been there done that. Stop lying!