How do I know if I'm in love with her?

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Sounds goofy, but I've never been in love before, so I'm not quite sure

I've been friends with this girl in college for the past year, who has up until a few months ago been married to a guy stationed across the country. After a few events I found out she's had feelings for me since she's met me, but I've only recently developed romantic (Always been sexually attracted to her) feelings since we both thought we weren't interested in each other at all until lately.

Because we've been friends this past year, we've been able to skip the introductory and "honeymoon" phases. We already know so much about each other. We're comfortable and happy, but I can't tell if I've fallen in love with her or not. I'm not terrified of losing her. I don't feel like I need her to continue living a happy life. The best way I can describe it is, she's not a necessity, but she's one of the most wonderful luxuries I've known.

Sometimes it feels like I want to say it to her, it would feel "right" to say "I love you", but I don't want to say it if I'm not sure this IS what I'm feeling. We're official, but she is very fond of referring to us as lovers. I know there's not boxes to be checked to say "Yeah you love her" but isn't love one of those things that you don't feel unless you're 100%? If I'm even questioning it, does it mean I don't love her?