Is this forgivable?

One day though, I bring it up, and since people with mania get irritated extremely easily, he broke up with me on the spot. I was on the floor, pathetic, with no dignity crying, and begging for forgiveness (even though I didn't do anything wrong). And he just smiled at me, nonchalantly, touching my face as I cried. Like if nothing was happening. I should have known he was going through a manic episode as I brought up the topic, but I didn't realize it until it was too late. His eyes were dilated and he was acting disconnected. Anyways though, he pretty much smiled as I was suffering, and that hurt. Having your own lover smile at your torment. Deep down, I know it was his mania influencing him, but fuck. So a few days later, we talk again, and he tells me "I'll take you back, but only if you understand mental disorders". That sounded fair, so I spent all night researching bipolar disorder. I was going to text him everything I learned, but it was so much that I had to type a 3 page word document. So I spent all day and night researching it, and I typed him a 3 page essay by morning. So in the morning, I check my Snapchat, and I see he posted something... literally an hour after he said he'll give me a chance, he posted a picture of him cuddling with another guy on a bed, with the caption "summer love". I broke down crying, I spent all night pouring my soul into this guy, and he goes ahead and fucking cucks me. The next day, he does the same thing.. except this time he's leaning his head against some other guy with the caption "international kissing day". At this point, I lose my shit and I moved on. But as luck has it, we're back together again. And I feel like a cuck. On one hand, his manic episodes make him act like a whole different person. He's not himself when manic. But on the other hand, was it just him being a piece of shit? There's no way to tell. He was most likely being manic since manic episodes can last anywhere from a day, to months.

So is it forgivable my dudes?

>>18632743
It's not forgivable that you assume disorders dont define people. You fucking retard. You deserve all the abuse you have coming, trusting and loving someone with bipolar the way you do. How fuckimg pathetic are you, that you can't see him for the terrible persom he is? Do you an iq of 70 and no conscientiousness whatsoever? Leave him or suffer you dipshit.

>>18633055
Sounds like you've had some bad experiences with them aswell. Got a story to share?

>>18632743
You are a cuck. Why are you even willing to put up with that shit?

>>18633081
I know a bipolar guy. Tried to rape me. Motherfucker tried to put off on mania. Full grown adults don't excuses, otherwise they are insane. Stay away from people with mental disorders, champ. Stop pretending it dosnt define, and then go on to say hes like that for months on end. Just dont be a retarded, bottom bitch boy, cuck.

>>18633093
I fell in love with the nice, normal, non insane part of him.

>>18633118
During the beginning of our relationship, he'd take his meds and he would be normal, then he stopped medicating and his mania got out of control.

>>18633249
>then he stopped medicating
DUDE.
Get the fuck out of there. It's easy for a stranger on the internet to tell you to run away from a problem that could easily not be yours but has you emotionally entangled, but still - run the fuck away.
>>18633241
>I fell in love with the nice, normal, non insane part of him.
You don't get to love 'a part' of somebody. Either you love them or you don't, and loving someone with a pd is hard as fuck and seriously not worth it.

This would not be forgivable to me, even understanding mental disorders. Bring up your own self esteem and you will see this. You deserve better, and being by yourself for sometime is not the end of the world. Be strong, and depend on yourself. Youre the only one you have at the end, good luck op

>>18633298
Thank you for that.

>>18633285
Yeah, he sure had me hooked.

>>18632734
>>18632736
>He stopped taking his medication
He knows that not taking his medication will make him have manic episodes and act like an asshole and he doesn't care. If he cared about you he would take his medication to avoid hurting you.

> He's not himself when manic. But on the other hand, was it just him being a piece of shit?


Why do you think those have to be separate things?

>>18632736
>He's not himself when manic.

And that's where you've got it wrong. That is part of who he is. Just because he's not that way all the time doesn't mean he it's not him.

>>18632736
Nigga what the fuck. Leave now.

>>18632736
>He's not himself when manic.
But his normal self decided to not take medication.
Which means his normal self is okay with going manic and hurting you.

Do not tolerate that. Leave.

>>18632736
hes a sociopath, moron

im a biochemist and mental health expert.

you have some really unfortunate misconceptions about what it means to be mentally ill. no mental disorder is an excuse or cop-out for behavior, and you cannot tolerate unacceptable behavior soley because someone is mentally ill. he's not a "different person" when he's manic- that is an aspect of his personality. he obviously has no regard for your feelings or wellbeing, and actually took pleasure in seeing you in pain. that is a hallmark of sociopathy.

If a person can't take responsibility for his actions then he can't be considered an autonomous being. Your bf refused to take his medication knowing full well what would happen and without consulting then you actually bought his shit about mental illness and how YOU need to learn about that.
You're either able to make judgments and therefore are subject to the repercussions, or you aren't and therefore you need a caretaker (or whatever the fuck is the word for a person representing you and making choices for you).
Now you either pick option one where he takes responsibility for his actions, and dump his ass unless he's willing to get treatment because mental illnesses can be treated and he's using it as a crutch to get what he wants.
Option 2 is to call an institution or his doctor and tell them he's not taking medication and going through episodes because he can't make decisions about his wellbeing.
In any case, choosing a third option or being stuck in this limbo means that you should probably talk to a professional as well.

>>18634801
But I've read so many articles of people with bipolar disorder saying how mania influences them so much that they'd do things they wouldn't do when not manic.

>>18634788
Mania makes people feel like they're 10ft tall, they become euphoric, impulsive, and easily irritated. They care less about everyone around them and more about themselves. This leads to lack of empathy and sociopathic traits.

>>18634813
Fuck, I would love to call his therapist and tell him/her that my boyfriend isn't taking his meds, all he does is self medicate with weed every day. That doesn't help at all.