should i see a psychiatrist?

The biggest thing that stands out to me is
>when im alone in my house all i can think of is die young die young die young and youre such a loser and on and on
This is referred to as a type of "self-talk." Some people practice positive self-talk which is a way for a person to reassure him or herself of his or her ability to succeed and raises self-esteem. However, some people practice negative self-talk, which lowers how well you think of yourself. It can come from depression as well as contribute to worsening the depression. It would be worth it to see a mental health counselor if only to get the ideas out of your head and maybe get some fresh perspective on them. Many schools offer counseling at a Student Health office at no charge beyond what you paid for tuition at the beginning of the semester.

>>18630441
Thats the thing, i dont think i have low self esteem i mean i know what im good at and in what ways im better than most people, i know im not ugly but when i say loser i say it because i dont feel the same things everybody feels and i cant do the same thing everybody does, im more outgoing but im still that weird kid, i cant have feelings for people and if i manage to develop i get stuck in my neurosis and self hatred that i end up losing everything, ive been to a lot of job interviews and i never pass the first test, what i mean is i know theres something wrong with me but i dont know what and i cant change it and thats what i mean when i say im a loser because i just cant do the things everybody does

To give you some perspective i was born with my umbilical chord strapped around my neck so i was born with a lack of oxygen in the brain, the doctor told my parents that i was going to struggle my whole life academically and i had to go to therapy to develop my motor skills, etc when i started applying to college my school psychologist told my parents to look for other options because i might never make it so i guess i have low iq and i hate when my mother tells me im smart, i know im not, im used to losing and sometimes i think im destined to it

>>18631270
>thats what i mean when i say im a loser because i just cant do the things everybody does
>i hate when my mother tells me im smart, i know im not
>im used to losing and sometimes i think im destined to it
That's pretty much the description of low self-esteem, even if you have other thoughts that you feel balance out the negative self-talk. It would be good for you to visit a psychological counselor. If you don't know how to begin talking to him or her, just express some of the doubts you have about your ability to succeed in specific areas. Counselors are typically good about picking up on what would be important to talk about.