What is there to live for?

>>18630123
For the past few years in particular I've been feeling family is important, and I'd very much like to have my own one day. For a few reasons such as having been to a fair few weddings and funerals, that my own family life growing up has left a lot to be desired.
But I've more or less given up hope on that. My social inability makes it quite difficult to have any success with girls. Then I'm just unattractive. I'm also relatively choosey of course - I wouldn't marry just anyone. I've always felt factors such as these working against me. I have tried asking a few girls out to no avail. But the most recent one hit me the hardest; that was about 3 months ago. I was head over heels for her and was pretty sure she liked me back. Well she didn't. I was in the pits for about a month and I haven't really recovered still.

In fact, I don't think I've been happy since. I can't remember being happy since that period before I asked her out, and I was busy making plans in my head and imagining how things would be. And I figure, that one felt like it was almost a certainty. Surely the best chance I ever had, but ultimately I had no chance... what hope do I have?
Well long story short I've more or less given up on girls and the hope of having a family.
I've also given up on finding work. Even if I could I figure what's the point? Living to work isn't appealing to me.
On top of that I don't have many friends. I spend most of my time at home playing games by myself. I've felt my relationships becoming more distant too, particularly over the past 6 months. And it is difficult for me to make friends.
I have a handful of interest but rarely have the energy or motivation to do anything with them.
So overall my life feels really bleak.

(2/2)

>>18630123
>there's always going to be someone who presents/communicates/looks better than me

nice one anon, this is a perfect example of approximations making the best absolutes. bcos i know you know you can step it up.

im 28 and i find it hard to admit defeat too. i couldn't even kill myself, had the noose ready but just sit and look at it

>>18630123
You're not seriously applying yourself if you can't find an accounting job. It may be boring as fuck, but there is always a demand for accountants.

>>18630133
>>18630143
You're right, I'm not putting my best effort in. Maybe I could put a lot of effort in and get a crappy bookkeeping job in a small company. But the way I see it, even if they like your resume there's going to be 20 other people getting interviewed, and presentation is the single most important factor. I'm never going to be able to improve enough to be at a 'normal' level.
And putting in the effort just to land some soul-sucking job so I can hate my life even more isn't appealing.