living antisocial

>>18629008
>stamp on a bird or kick a dog
my advice for you is to kill yourself fast

My first thoughts were army or medicine, where my apathy might be a plus.
But I would have too much power over venerable people as a doctor or paramedic and if life wasn't going my way I'd genuinely vanish a patient occasionally

I'm not sure the army needs baby killers anymore, they value sound judgment and care about their public image.
I'd make a good soldier but I would be worried about how I would manage with my comrades, my gut feeling is that bad things would happen to them; or to me (because people can turn on me like packs of dogs).
Maybe SF, where teams are smaller, demands are higher, work is dirtier

The corporate world might be a good place, if I got a senior position I could have enough space to hide my issues, the rigid structure of interaction would preclude any incidents.
Being a ruthless workaholic at a large firm wouldn't be so bad really, I've had sucess in business in the past; albiet because I lied to everyone

>>18629023
if I don't get my shit together it might be your dog :^)
wouldn't have posted if there wasn't a mutual interest in this

>>18629008
You have Antisocial Personality Disorder?
If you feel like there might be a problem, try going to a therapist or a psychiatrist or something, if you haven't already done so. They might be able to give you some professional advice (even though they might be a bit condescending)

I guess I can never know what it's like to live with ASPD cuz I don't have it, but something I can relate to is hating people.

Do you have any aspirations at all? Anything you've always wanted to do? You're 25, and thankfully, not in jail. Even if you are incapable of feeling certain emotions, and even if you hate people, there's nothing stopping you from creating your own values and beliefs, and pursuing the things you aspire for.

Killing yourself would be a pretty lazy way to solve your problems, and killing another human being, even not taking into consideration morals, is a pretty cheap way of feeding a need for control.

TLDR just do something that you've always aspired to do, like maybe you like music or something and you've always wanted to be a musician, or like baking or some shit.

>>18629046
I'm not sure about the technical definition, but it's in that kind of bracket

Seeking professional help is difficult for a range of reasons, there are issues about disclosure and I find the need to manipulate the therapist undermines anything productive.
I slept with one when I was younger "I'm just misguided and your love can cure me" fucking kek newbies.

I can't trust a therapist with my inner secrets, sure if you wet the bed or are a fetishist the worst thing that might happen is they tell some of their friends about a "patient".
but if I became a doctor for instance my therapist might well call the medical board out of moral responsibility...hence me being here

We live in a human world, and ALL of our values and goals are human-oriented.
I don't care if I make 100K annually or eat bread for every meal (I actually do both), respect for me is out of reach, fear is great but you can't make people unafraid afterwards when it suits you, travel is convenient but not enjoyable, enlightenment is bullshit and I'm not getting into heaven.

I have no desire to kill myself, and while gratification for hurting other IS a cheap way to get a thrill; it does the job and I really haven't found any substitute.
having sex with a woman till she needs medical care comes close (Americans psycho parallels just keep coming), hunting is good, put a rifle in my hand and even other hunters are shit scared to be in the forest with me, I don't know how but they just instinctively know. Horses, pigs, attack dogs, they all just know somehow.

pro tip: if you are worried about psychos get a horse

and the damndest thing is that people only get diagnosed after they have killed someone, so there are never any
"this guy was a psycho but turned out alright" stories

>>18629074
Well geez, I can see the bind that you're in. Honestly, the fact that horses can tell that you have antisocial disorders is some horror movie shit (and a bit entertaining, if for the morbid humor).

If hunting is the sort of thing that can "get you off" without harming other people, then I guess that's a pretty healthy way to deal with your condition.

I'm sure there are other things you could like, but you just haven't tried yet. A lot of human need stems from our constant desire for self actualization (see maslows hierarchy) and having aspd can prevent you from achieving that without some form of physical violence, or sexual activity
Just try new things everyday. Even if you don't enjoy them, at least you won't be wasting time.

Heres something to think about. If your desires stem from narcissm, then resisting those impulses to harm would actually be the highest form of self improvement.