Deal breakers in relationships

>>18624094
If you're asking that question already then you're gonna break up with her whether it's a month or a year from now.

We can't tell you when is best to do it but you're probably avoiding breaking up because of the sex and company. Find something else to keep you preoccupied and on the look out for other people to fuck. This might seem callous but it will motivate you to break up sooner, which is kinder cause she's prolly more invested than you.

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>>18624094
>Extremely fickle and objective
My answer is probably going to differ, but really anything that makes me believe that a time-consuming relationship such as the ones I get into aren't worth the time I'm investing into them.

Not to say I don't think about how it'll benefit or not benefit my partner, I consider that too once I begin considering breaking up with them. I figure out what the benefits and negatives of a possible breakup would be like on both ends and if a relationship is worth it for either of us.

A deal breaker for me is mental instability (though this can vary as I'm not perfect either), a general lack of caring for your own physical health and by that I mean severely overweight and/or just extremely unhygienic, and some other things I'm probably forgetting.

As for you. If you don't feel love for her and she's practically just a nuisance as this point, what's the point in staying with her unless there is legal trouble associated with breaking up with her? Doesn't seem very practical to me, OP. Not here to judge, just what I think.

>>18624094
Waiting on my gf at her apartment and started going through her things. Not really looking for anything just killing time and came across a bag, seemed heavy, but it was a nice bag. Inside was all types of sex paraphernalia and she has never mentioned or showed me anything. Thinking I should run.

>>18624629
How long have you been dating her for?

>>18624629
Little over a year and we see each other a lot so I think it is odd she hasn't brought the bag out. So either this is from her past and expects to use it again or its not in her past and she doesn't consider me someone to share with.

>>18624642
Is she the type that would get offended by you going through her things? Where was this bag hidden?

>>18624094
lying, cheating, making fun of our secrets, cooking bad
Left some women, even moved away because of lack of morals They always were crying after me saying "baaawww anon you where the only one who never played me" and I'm like "[doesn't say anything] because I leave in silence and only the special ones get a goodbye letter. I will not be made a life lesson.

>>18624645
It was in her closet on the floor tucked to the side, not really hidden but I had no reason to look in her closet. Like I said I was just poking around out of boredom. Not really worried if she would be offended but there are some really hardcore thing in that bag. Like she isn't a novice.

>>18624668
You should have respected her privacy, the fact that she's potentially hiding fetishes/kinks from you could mean you're doing something in the relationship that would cause her to withhold information from you in the first place. Or maybe they're objects she just doesn't utilize anymore, I have toys hidden throughout my place that I don't really use these days. Just confront her about it, if you've been dating for over a year it seems kind of hasty that you'd bolt over something silly like that.

>>18624683
Ok, so this is my fault some how, how typical, but I get it and why it would serve no purpose to discuss this with her.

You say confront but I wouldn't confront or accuse her nor do I think I should have to even bring it up since she has spent all this time hiding it from me. Whatever reason she didn't want me to know so I'll respect that and make the decision to distance myself on my own. Its very obvious from the bags contents there is some serious shit she's into and its not for me. I don't understand why she even bothered with me since I'm so square in comparison. But then again as you so succinctly say it is my fault.

>>18624757
No need to get defensive, it's just a possibility. What I meant was is that you never know when something could be wrong with a relationship whether it be due to you or your spouse, so it's best to keep an open-mind for these sorts of things.

Though to act as if it just never happened is a bit too late in my opinion, it's bound to come up sooner or later at this point now that you're aware of the fact that it exists. I don't really see the problem in confronting her about it if it bothers you or makes you feel inadequate, communication and respecting each other's boundaries is essential in a healthy relationship.

>>18624781
Well, how I see it, since I was totally clueless, if she wanted a healthy relationship it was incumbent on her to open a conversation. Instead she didn't want me to know so I'll end the relationship and she will never know I know her secret. I'll be able to fabricate some reason it isn't working. Thanks for playing devils advocate, it helped me realize how she will respond to my inadvertent discovery.

>>18624800
That sounds like some pretty skewed logic. I don't even think my opinion was controversial, you're just overreacting. You come off as insecure and paranoid though that's just my assumption, you should seriously reconsider what you're about to do and instead seek counseling/psychological evaluations before doing anything irrational.

>>18624811
So having expectations and boundaries is insecurity and cause for a psychological evaluation? My fucking god. Again I thank you for the preview of what I would get from her and I just don't have the time or energy. Time for me to move on.

>>18624094
Consider yourself lucky, my GF got a cocaine habit and eventually moved up to heroin

I would be totally fine if it was just week

>>18624815
Expectations are perfectly normal but talking about boundaries would make you quite the hypocrite considering how you even discovered the information to begin with. You're not entitled to everything in her personal life though that doesn't mean she should have to hide such things from you.

You've been very confrontational, though I am somewhat to blame due to my straight forward demeanor but I don't want to insult your intelligence by sugar coating what I think. If it makes you feel better, I don't think my analysis of your situation is very accurate considering I have no clue what your girlfriend is like nor the chemistry to your relationship so a proper conclusion as to why she would do what she did is completely up for guesses on my part.

What led me to believe that you're insecure was what you said here "I don't understand why she even bothered with me since I'm so square in comparison" and the fact that I think you're paranoid is because you assume negative outcomes due to your discovery of her fetishes even though you've been dating her for a year which as far as I know has been fine, so this discovery really shouldn't stir too much worry for you unless things like this have been consistent through out the relationship.

And this really should go without saying but take everything I say with a grain of salt; I'm talking out of experience and not from any formal education, that's why I recommended that you see a professional to properly evaluate your situation and help you so that you don't do anything out of irrational thought.