Complicated Relationship, I screwed the pooch

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Part 2

> 1 month from 3 yr anniversary with D, and me and Y start talking more
> I notice neither one of us tells D we are talking
> at a social gathering me and Y just sit and talk, relax
> Talking leads to texting, texting lead to role playing, and role playing lead to dirty snaps
> after a couple days of being on the ropes I knew it was wrong, I was with D and Y was her one of her best friends
> But it was Y, I fell in love with her 3 yrs ago, we never talked but I always asked about her
> Me and Y met up around 9pm on night and we talked, walked around, started making out, and lastly we slept together.
> It was amazing, she smelled amazing, we went at it for 40 mins in the back of my car.
> went to get food afterwards, and talked till 2am despite both of us having work in the morning
> it was an amazing night, we shared stuff about each other, I told Y stuff I never told D
> that night I told D I was taking a nap, I never texted her back, this was a Wed

> the following night, on a Thursday, I'm still dating D, but me and Y both agree this is just about sex
> Y and D hang out and go to a festival. I didn't go, I stayed home.
> At the end of the night their ride bails so Y suggests D should call me to take them to their cars.
> Y is texting me the whole time so I know what she wants, D is refusing saying I'll get mad
> almost 3 years and I rarely got mad at D
> Finally D calls me up and asks I pick them up
> I pick them up and the whole time I kept looking at Y and smiling, she was in the backseat
> When I drop them off D goes to kiss me and I instinctively pulled back, but I realized what I did and went in to kiss her.
> D wants to call me from her car to talk, I decline saying my throat hurts
> As I'm driving away Y texts me if I left, I hadn't I drove around the block and was texting Y to drive to me
> we made out again and slept together in my car.
> D got home fast and was perplexed how she lives further but beat us both home

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Part 3


> By this point me and Y are starting to text more. I'm texting D less and less. Y admits she got a little jealous when she saw me kiss D. I admit it felt wrong
> For a couple days me and Y are texting, Y feels bad thinking I want to break up with D.
> I explain I've been wanting to break up with her for a while.
> I explain I don't consider myself switching Y for D, even if me and Y don't work out I still wasnt planning on staying with D.
> Y decides we should avoid hanging out until I break up with D
> This was Friday, after work D wants to hang out, I decide I didn't want to. I didn't want to make Y jealous
> Y swears she doesn't care D is still my gf. I insist its fine and I stay home alone


> On Saturday
> Me and Y are still texting and staying up late. Think we were also talking on the phone
> I worked so I didn't go to the beach with D and Y and the rest of their friends
> After work, I go home
> When the beach thing is over D wants to come over, I tell her I'm going to take a nap. I stay up texting Y
> 1 hr later I text D I'm awake but don't feel well to hang out.
> D shows up anyways crying saying she wanted to hangout
> we have a big argument in her car, I explain I'm exhausted and didn't want to spend time with her
> D is crying, makes me upset to see her cry. I ask her to go home
> D doesn't go home, she goes directly to Y's place and cries over there
> Y doesn't text me with all this happening, I feel bad for Y knowing she must feel bad and guilty
> Eventually D goes home, Y checks in on me and is worried about me.
> She kind of hints I can fix things with D if I wanted to, I explain its too late. I care about her, but I don't love her and want to be with her.
> we change subject, I was worried it was making Y feel bad
> we joke Sun is the last day of festival and we didn't get to go on rides

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Lastly Part 4

> On Sunday
> a day later me and Y decide to go to the festival to go on the rides
> D hates the rides, but loves the food. I hate the food and love the rides, Y feels the same
> So we go to the festival, have a great time, but the whole time Y was paranoid we would run into someone they know
> Eventually it gets dark and Y is more comfortable, we have a great time and go on lots of rides
> We were holding hands the whole time, I hugged her when we stopped, it was incredible until
> D starts blowing up my phone, I told her I was going to my brothers place and to give me space
> She called my brothers wife and starts worrying and texting me and calling me non stop
> I ended up turning off my phone.
> Y got a little up tight, torn between seeing me stress over D calling me, and at the same time she feels bad knowing its cause of her
> 15 mins later
> After the festival, me and Y sleep together again. making it the 3rd time
> Once we go home I return D's call.
> She was asleep
> we talk, we fight, I explain to her I don't see a future with her.
> She asks if I can say I love her, I tell her I can't
> She still wants to work it out, she wants me to give us another chance.


Me and Y know we fucked up, she thinks I'm perfect, and I think she's perfect
> We both want kids soon
> She is exactly what I was looking for body wise, face wise, personality wise
> D was always bitchy and judgmental, whereas Y is sweet and her soul feels closer to mine

> Y is sad because she is going to lose D and their group of friends
> I feel terrible about causing this trouble
> But at the same time I feel I would make the same mistake, just to be with Y

No chance of not breaking up the group. Just wanting to vent and have you guys listen. Thank you for reading.

>>18624036
I read all of your posts.

I'm not going to judge you for your affair, you know what your doing is dishonest and possibly cruel. If you do care for D then I suggest breaking up immediately, don't mention Y, give her a tactful but detailed explanation and then cut contact entirely. It will be difficult for both of you, particularly her but breaking up sooner rather than later minimises suffering. It also means that you and Y will have more control over the situation.

Do not tell her about Y. She will ask if there's anyone else of course. I think that you should focus solely on the message that you don't see a future with D and after three years you know that won't change, if she asks you to give it time explain you've not taken the decision lightly and had been feeling bad for a while.

Good luck anon.

>>18624086
Thank you anon,

I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my long story.

Going into this I've never cheated before, and Y has never slept with a friends bf. Not sure if she's slept with a guy she knew had a gf, I haven't asked that question yet lol. It sort of just happened. We both felt drawn to each other, and I maintain I know it was wrong but I don't feel like I did anything wrong.

I didn't dive into it too much when I wrote it down but I consider myself broken up with D, I told D multiple times already on Sunday. She just happened to continue insisting we work it out and continue talking. I told her I didn't see a future together, I told her she demoralized me, I'm trying to better myself, and she holds me back. I want kids, and she doesn't want them at this moment. I also couldn't see a marriage with her. I tried to motivate her and help her focus on her studys but she put work over school, she works in retail.
I know better than to tell D about Y, I want to save their friendship. However me and Y know eventually it'll get out. Me and Y already talked today about how friendships don't last, she has other friends, but we both feel bad, I feel the worst.

D, wants me to break up with her in person, face to face. I'm legit scared she's going to shank me. But I'll do my best to face her and break up with her again, face to face. I just want to wait till the love bite on my neck disappears.

Again thank you for your advice, and thank you for not judging me.