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Ive tried making this post so many times, and I never feel im ever able to properly communicate how I feel. I have an amazing girlfriend who understands me, I have a few friends and I have hobbies to keep me occupied. Im working with the Rural Fire Brigade and im hoping to someday join narco division in the police force.
But despite all these things that I have I cant say that im entirely happy? I feel like ive never really accomplished anything noteworthy, but mostly I feel like im a fucking asshole. Everyone ive ever felt a deep sense of love for (whether it be plutonic or romantic) has left me, leaving a void inside of my heart. Ive only ever tried to supportive of people, I was forced to mature quickly when I had to talk a girl out of suicide when I was 12, and lost another friend to suicide at 13. Ever since, mental health has essentially been a constant in my life, whether through a close friend on the brink of suicide or my own stint of depression, And I feel its impact on me is a major contributing factor to my lonliness. Ive never had much patience for fucking Chads & Staceys that have nothing better to bitch about other than their daddy not paying for a yacht or some equally first world shit. Im 18 now and to be honest nothing much has changed? People I love still leave me and while im not on the verge of suicide like I was last year im still not happy.
all help is welcome.
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you cant say youre ENTIRELY happy? what, is 90 percent happy not enough for you? Im jealous of you and also your youth, I wish I was 18 again, damn.
my advice, for what its worth is
if you work hard and try to improve yourself emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, etc youll turn out just fine
anyways dont settle down with a girlfriend til youre 24 at least and you have some more experience with the dynamics and negotiating, communicating, and boundaries in relationships
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>>18623823
Okay, Its not that im grateful for what I have I think its maybe my view on society? My home life and life with friends is amazing I think its my disdain for the human race.
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>>18623863
its not disdain for the human race, you just havent met enough people. but to find the cool people, youre gonna have to search through piles of shit. however in the end, its worth it.
theres plenty of people out there just like your amazing friends
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