Daddy issues

>I fall head over heels for guys who are genuine and kind
That's not a daddy issues problem.

Seeking approval from every guy is.

>>18622890
But I'm obviously too intense about it because it freaks them out. Even guys who originally showed interest in me end up either running a mile or treating me like a fragile younger sister.

What's with all the daddy issue threads today?

Look, a lot of daddy issues stem from self-esteem and a desire to form an emotional bond with someone who acts as a stabilizer.

Find some self-reliance and esteem. And for the love of god, don't go after assholes like most people do.

Also, you should probably see a professional. Most of us here are just plebs on the internet.

>>18622881
>I guess men want women to be more aloof than that?
Falling for "good" guys is not the problem you have.

There's something else about you that's putting them off.

>>18622910
So you don't think it's because I'm too intense? Maybe I'm just really irritating to men.

Wtf are daddy issues anyway?

>>18622881
I don't believe you're being entirely honest.
>>18622919
Intense how? What about you do you think is intense? Get specific.

No one is inherently irritating, there is something specific about your behavior that men aren't attracted to. Saying you're "Just really irritating" implies it's just a part of who you are that can't be fixed which removes yourself from having to accept responsibility for your fault or take any action towards fixing them.

Falling for good guys isn't the issue. Usually when someone brings up daddy issues, the attributes are negative, like sleeping around or only falling for guys who treat you as your father did; like garbage. There must be another issue here that's making them turn away.

>>18622919
Look, you have to keep everything casual.
If you like someone, show it, but don't praise him like he's a god.

Some guys just have a really high opinion of themselves, or they just don't think you'll be a good girlfriend. Maybe you seem too dependent or too kinky to them.
Some will enjoy the attention.

You are most probably just overlooking guys that are actually compatible with you.

>>18622881
I think you don't see your partner as an equal which comes from a lack of confidence in yourself. Most people are uncomfortable with clingy behavior, constant praise, or being elevated to an ideal they're uncomfortable with. It might be something about yourself that put him off, but there's also a lot of other possibilities that might have absolutely nothing to do with you. Your behavior is 100% fixable, don't give up after a couple of guys didn't reciprocate your feelings

>>18622941
How is being irritating not my fault? Of course it's my fault if I'm annoying people. I'm just not sure how to fix it, as I don't know what it is I'm doing wrong

>>18623013
It's every guy who doesn't reciprocate my feelings. And by the looks of this thread, everyone thinks there's something seriously wrong with me. I guess I was right to assume I'm a lost cause

>>18623025
I'm still curious as to what you meant by irritating. Are you clingy? Do you act like a child that needs their hand held and constant approval? Give us something to work with OP

>>18623014
Most girls aren't honest with themselves and try to pin their issues on someone or something else. I think you're taking this all too seriously and you should calm your fucking tits. God damn. This is why guys don't want you. Someone tries to help you and you put them on the fucking spot. Look you stupid bitch, just because a handful of guys rejected you doesn't mean you're incompatible with the 7 other billion people on this planet. You're doing exactly what I said not to. I don't care if you've filtered everything out at this point because you have no control over your emotions, but you are not a lost cause. Nobody here said there is seriously something wrong with you. We aren't suggesting that you're broken, it's just that we have a very limited amount of information, and we're trying to figure out if there's something about your behavior that puts off guys. Not all guys are going to want you back, you can bitch and moan about how broken you are or get over it, because the idea that every single guy you meet will not reciprocate your feelings just because the last guy didn't is fucking retarded. Calling yourself a lost cause means there's nothing you can do about it so you're not going to try. We can guess a million times, but you know yourself better than we do. If I was asked out by a pessimistic attention whore who found a way to complain about everything I would keep my distance too.

>>18623049
Picking on someone when they're feeling down is kind of low

>>18623038
I guess I'm too enthusiastic about people I like? Honestly I don't really know why they get put off of me, and I don't have the nerve to ask. Maybe I should get in contact with one of my exes and ask? Would that be weird?

>>18623049
I don't understand why you're so angry at a random girl on the internet. I'm not a stupid bitch and I'm not a pessimistic attention whore. I have plenty of friends who enjoy my company.

I perhaps foolishly thought someone might say something elucidating along the lines of "oh I used to like a girl but then she did X or Y and it was offputting". The truth is I don't know why I'm unwanted. I'm cheerful, enthusiastic, always busy with work, studying, volunteering and sport... I just thought perhaps I come on too strong when I meet a guy who is nice to me. I hoped to get a male perspective on the issue. Instead I got called names and insulted. Ah well, thanks anyway

>>18623058
Oh fuck off. She's not a puppy.
>>18623095
How do you come on too strong? What are you doing precisely that you think is too strong? You have to realize sitting here and listing off every sort of off putting behavior until we get the one that magically matches you and fixes everything is a waste of our time. Walk us through what happened that made you think maybe you came on too strong, something we can actually work with. Try asking one of the guys why they didn't want to go out with you. It's definitely unorthodox, but as long as you don't react poorly to their answer, I don't think you could fuck that up.

>>18623126
I really honestly do not know what I did wrong.

From the very first day I met this guy he was always super nice to me. He gave me presents. He hung around after his shift to talk to me. He encouraged me whenever I was unsure about things. Then one day my friend died unexpectedly and as he was comforting me I mentioned how sad I was in my job, since the boss is often angry and mean. The next day the boss took me to one side and apologised for everything, saying that the guy I liked had really told him off. But when I went to thank the guy I liked he got very embarrassed about it and said he did it for the sake of the business, not for me.

From then on he was a bit more distant with me. He still complimented me to people and defended me to the boss, he still bought me things, but he was a little less friendly with me and when he left the job and I said something about not seeing him again he said "not necessarily..." but left it at that.

The only things I can think of are a) it put him off that I'm older than him; b) the boss told him he was being inappropriately friendly (he was my superior); or most likely c) when he saw how happy I was that he stood up for me, he realised how much I liked him and he freaked out.

>>18623264
it was about not polluting his virtue.
plus a mixture of things I couldn't name.

>>18623290
What do you mean, 'not polluting his virtue'?

>>18623302
he wanted to welcome you in, not take advantage of you. if he pursued further, all his niceness would be colored in this undertone that's not necessarily desirable.
It's okay to have daddy issues, as long as you can reserve yourself for one person. If you've slept around, it's hard to bounce back, and it means the issues run too deep. Be assured, some women are just prone to sleep around without daddy issues. It's a sad state of affairs.

I'm guessing that the issue is that it's harder than you think to find mutual attraction. You fall easily for anyone who treats you with basic human decency. I'd bet that you are frustrated that they aren't falling for you because you might think that that's all one needs to fall in love. Compatibility runs deeper than that. Just because they aren't into you doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong.

Also, your excitement might not feel genuine. Your bafflement over what they view as baseline could seem almost condescending. They might not feel like they deserve the praise you're giving them. They might also worry that you're seeing them with rose colored glasses, instead of seeing them for who they really are. Loving someone means accepting their flaws, and when you raise them to a flawless pedestal, they might not think that you really love them.

On a paranoid aspect, if you fall for them so easy, there is the worry that you will fall for someone else too. What happens when someone else is nice to you too? I'm guessing that your colleague wasn't bend-over-backwards nice, but just-nicer-than-the-usual nice. Will you become disillusioned to someone's niceness when you realize that they aren't actually anything special?

>>18623321
I think you're right. He probably thought what he was doing was just standard whereas I found it unexpectedly nice because I'm used to being treated like shit. I feel like an idiot now, realising he never liked me! But I guess at least I know that for certain.

Thank you for your help

>>18623338
>tfw no feminine qt gf
stop invading my safe spaces

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>>18622939
Women who weren't treated with sufficient emotional dependence by their father.

Since women are think emotionally, its important that you raise your daughter with sufficient morals so that becomes someone who is independent and emotionally stable. That's why you see christian or islamic fathers raise up good daughters since they either have god or their father as a father figure.

When a women doesn't have proper emotional support. They suffer from emotional dependency and poor judgement. They attempt to look for a emotional stabilizer, like a father, but since they suffer from poor judgement. They often hook up with guys with sinister motivations or abusers. They also push away potential long term partners with their intense emotions and are often prone to infidelity, they don't make for good mothers either. Its kinda sad when you want to help but those morals are hard wired into that persons brain from their childhood.

>>18623338
It's okay! You're having to relearn what's normal. You're experiencing culture shock. People might be a little confused about your behavior, because they don't realize your perspective. Treat yourself with patience and compassion. The lessons you were taught as a child were wrong, so you're having to go through the lessons that a child should have. It's tragic that you didn't have those lessons then. It's exciting that you have a world of love to move forward into!

Isn't it wonderful when people are nice to you? And that niceness isn't uncommon. There are a ton of nice people everywhere. I'm glad that you're accepting these nice people into your life. You deserve them.

It was a dalliance for him and you got too serious and became a whiny pain in the ass causing trouble for him at work. You would have been indiscreet and made him look foolish if he continued. He liked you and probably wanted to fuck you which is why he bought you things and put up wirh your bs for even a minute, but when he counted his own strenwhenhe found he didn't have it in him to rescue you which is what you wanted. He was wiser than you and didn't want to hurt you and so with all of them.