How do I get over never getting a virgin?

>>18622043
>implying virgins exist

>>18622043

Virginity is worth nothing, mate. Unless you can explain why it's important, you are just chasing an illusion.

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>>18622043
you could try not viewing the bodies and experiences of women as something you're entitled to

>>18622051

Physically, the resistance from the hymen and the vaginal tightness.

Emotionally: The feeling of triumph and having won, being forever her first.

People want to win in sports and in life in general. How can sex not be important in such regard? Guys pays millions to have a Virgin.

Also I'm honest about having an ego.

>>18622065
You could try getting a high school girl. Be the drunk fuck that fucked your second girlfriend. Should be easy now that you're an adult.

>>18622065
>Emotionally: The feeling of triumph and having won, being forever her first.

Hahahahahaha. How about being forever her actual partner? Are you really putting so much stock on "leaving a mark"? I think you just assume she will leave you, but she can never change her first. And again, that's worthless if she goes away from your life and you never see her again.

>Physically, the resistance from the hymen and the vaginal tightness.

How do you know it's so tight or that it even feels good if you've never done it? I'm pretty sure having sex once doesn't stretch the vagina so much that it's notisable. I admit I don't have a vagina myself.

>>18622071
I'm nerdy, autistic and poor. I can't manouver in social life and parties.

>>18622065
Tightness is individual. Whether or not a woman is supertight has more to do with whether she has a narrow vagina and strong muscles than whether or not she's had sex.

As for the "winning", I also think you look at that too simplistically. Many girls experience their first time as very disappointing, for example. Would that not matter to you at all, as long as you can be #first?

>>18622083
I want to be the first, so I myself can decide what to think about it. I hate being told what I should think and feel. I don't hide the fact this is about Power.

>>18622043
You know taking a virginity is nothing like hentai right? In fact a lot of girls break there hymen through horse back riding or dildos

>>18622088
Calm your tits, I didn't say that you weren't allowed to prioritize whatever seems important to you. But you are on an advice board so yes people are going to challenge your ideas if the premise is that you have a conviction that you want to get over.

>>18622096
It wasn't directed at you, bro. But society and people in general have strong opinions on what a person should and should not think, and I've always deviated from that. Especially in this matter.

>>18622105
I'm not sure how that is relevant here. You make a thread asking how to deal with a fixation that you are likely not going to experience, but you don't like anyone telling you what to do or think? In that case work harder to nail some fourteen year old. That's effectively the only answer left.

>>18622114
Fair points. But the thing is, I don't buy into the standard phrases society makes for you. "It's better to be nice" and all that bullshit. I suppose I need intellectual and not emotional/social reasons to handle this.

>>18622105
>autist on a power trip
>I'VE been swindled!
whatever girl gets stuck having her first time with you is the one being swindled

>>18622130
Yeah, I feel I have the right to more privelieges than what I have been given. In the old days, most men were guaranteed to marry a virgin, if they just kept to societies standards. Now the autists that create civilization are cheated.

>>18622128
The intellectual and the emotional are not entirely unrelated to one another. Emotions motivate a search for intellectual understanding (or rationalization) and intellectual conviction feeds emotions. Just like you have some theory about how it's important to fuck a virgin but at the end of the day it is a desire that you are founding with reasons.

>>18622142
I agree. And I feel I haven't really lived, since I never got a virgin. All the winners in life get a virgin, among other privelieges, I do not. So it's become a symbol of failure and destitution.

>>18622140
>In the old days
In the old days, marriage was a trade off. The woman got societal dignity and money to live, the man got lawful heirs and a partner raising them. Love, let alone lust, had very little to do with it. Virginity was prized not just to nip the risk for bastard sons in the bud but also because the risks of pregnancy itself and STDs were much more life-threatening.
And just because the golden standard (and the Christian decree) portrayed publicly was to remain a virgin until your marriage day, does not mean that those girls were actually virginal. Not in the slightest. The modern equivalent would be looking at mass media and concluding that humans in 2017 are all slim, attractive and having sex 24/7. The lives of everyday people have not left traces and what traces there are (novels from the 20th, 19th etc century) do not depict sex lives nearly as puritanical as what was upheld publicly.

>>18622140
>>18622146
your logic is flawed. you're creating a closed system of logic where your idea "winners" and what winners get define one another. you have this concept in your head that i can only guess comes from religious texts and romanticized retellings of history, because there's no other reason anyone gives a fuck about virginity. there are plenty of winners in life who acquire wealth, status, success, and loving relationships who never touch a virgin and they really don't care.

>>18622150
Well, I've read that in ancient greece, Girls married at 15 with 30 year old men. And I do think it would be a big deal if she hadn't kept her virginity. As you can tell, I'm strongly anti-christian, and feel that the arrangement of marriage is a more natural state of things than todays degeneracy, that incidentally doesn't produce children. Men want to own women. I feel no guilt for my desires.

>>18622158
Sure they can have success, but if they don't get a virgin, this is an arena they fail.

I can be a good computer engineer but a terrible footballer.

I can have alot of money but terrible social skills.

I wanted to win sexually, and if I can't, it almost doesn't matter what other areas of life I succeed in.

>>18622162
It's funny to consider yourself strongly anti-Christian when you uphold the culture of ancient Greece, because especially in the Renaissance the latter actually heavily influenced the former.

Either way, there is no foolproof way to check whether a woman is a virgin, and if they want to see blood then the practice of a little prick to soil the sheets with is as old as that expectation. So no they did not know and it was not exactly a huge priority especially for the average guy who was just trying to keep his life afloat and have healthy kids.

>todays degeneracy
Unless you mean "the last hundred years" or so with today, it's actually not nearly as lewd as most cultural stuff makes it seem.

http://thefederalist.com/2017/03/15/millennials-much-less-sex-grandparents/

>>18622162
>>18622169
i'm sorry dude, but i just think you're pathetic. most men don't want to own women. that's just you. you might feel no guilt for it, but you may want to acknowledge that this may be part of why women don't want anything to do with you.

>>18622170
Christianity adopted some healthy practices from pagan europe, but is in and by itself anti-nature (turn the other cheek and all that)

Milennials have less sex, because they have less testosterone and watch more porn, amongst other. I'm not anti-sex, I just wanted to win, and now I can't.

>>18622172
In my experience, many men do. Relationships exist for a reason. And I'm okay with being different and more honest than others. I think most people lie to themselves about almost everything.

>>18622185
Moderation and self-restraint was a huge deal in classic Greece as well. Plato/Socrates placed a big focus on this and extreme self-indulgence (including hahving a lot of sex) was seen as not being strong enough to control yourself. Not saying that everyday people necessarily gave much of a fuck about that but this sense of restraint paired off nicely with some aspects of Christianity.

Honestly don't quite know what to say to the whole winning/losing shit as it is beyond me. But read up on historical topics if you are so convinced that any of your dreams would've come true if only you were born earlier.

>>18622140
> if they just kept to societies standards

And you already said you fight that shit, so what exactly is your point?

>>18622185
>I just wanted to win, and now I can't.
So lets say you bang some 15 year old... Not only will it be half- or fully-bad sex, but after she leaves then what??

You gonna tell your mates "oh I banged a virgin" and then they will say what? "Good on you" and thats the end of the conversation?

Or you think the girl will always keep you in her heart when she's getting pounded by Chad??
Not so, why some girls cherish their first time is because it happened with someone they loved.
Oh and almost all of them meet someone else down the line with whom the sex is even more unique and special. At which point you will be forgotten...

You are obsessing over a goal, but what for??

>>18622204
In short, I'm pagan, not christian. I believe in the value of the physical world.

>>18622205
Good question. I feel I can never reach my other goals or have self-fullfilment if I can't have this. Even if I win in life, I lose, because I was seperated from this unique experience that winners get. It's like always being second best when it comes to sexuality.

>>18622169
You know what is really sad? You making up the rules to this game yourself, and you're still losing.

No one else is setting this standard. You are. You're the only one that thinks you have to fuck a virgin to "win". You're making it up, and you are literally setting yourself up to fail. Do you have any sense how sad that is?

>>18622220
>In short, I'm pagan, not christian. I believe in the value of the physical world.

This means nothings. What the fuck is your point?

>>18622223
No, I don't. Because virgins exist in the real world, and I couldn't get that. I hate it when I lose or when other people set limitations what I can or cannot achieve. If I want something I want it, no matter what, and I don't negotiate about my desires. Now it's like other people left me with very little but defeat and humiliation, since others were allowed this priveliege, but I was left out.

>>18622233
Christianity wants morality for the sake of morality, as something good in itself. For me, morality is just an end to a mean.

>>18622242
Plenty of things exist in the physical world that you will never experience. So what? You are the one that decided this is important to you. Just decide that it's not.

>>18622254
That's the stoic approach, but I can't lie to myself or be untrue to who I am, and that is someone who has will to power and wanted to win.

>>18622260
You are always absolutely honest with yourself but somehow it's other people's fault that you have not managed to fuck a virgin in the time frame when that would've been easiest?

>>18622268
I was too weak and got fucked over by other people, including my family. A runner who wanted to win the olympic race, but lost because of his own doing, still feels the pain.

>>18622260
Like I said, this is sad. You are literally sabotaging yourself and your own happiness.

Also, can we be honest? You have a distinct lack of power in most arenas in life. Stop pretending differently.

Virginity also has a mental component and if you've consumed tons of porn you're essentially not a virgin either. Sex was supposed to be a mystery uncovered by a young monogamous couple but modern media has ruined it for decades and there's no going back now

Both parties are ruined in a way and better to have the real thing than be addicted to a simiulacrum.

>>18622276
I feel like being true to myself is a bigger priority than happiness.

Agreed. I am a loser in most areas of life. This is just the most painful expression of it.

>>18622281
Tl;dr once you realize you're both damaged you can work to heal it

Sorry to just chime in here but I've fucked 3 virgins and it's not exactly a pleasant experience sexually but the psychology of knowing you're their first guy and it's new for them is pretty hot. The first girl actually bled a bit and we were talking the whole time. So, she was clearly in pain, tensing her legs straight (which was awkward) but telling me to carry on. It seemed to get a bit better for her as we went on but still not pleasant sex. She stayed the night and like as we were talking waiting to go to bed she started rubbing herself into me and was clearly hot in the biscuit. The sex was preddy gud from there and she was being really slutty the next day just crawling on the floor and presenting her ass without saying anything but just rubbing herself through tights. I think I was 19 and she was 17. The other two were pretty brutal and I don't care to mention. Sorry for my post OP, I'm sure no one cares.

>>18622285
You get to define who you are. You decide what you're being true to.

You're making up excuses for your own misery.

>>18622290
Yeah, the psychology you mentioned is what I wanted. I suppose the other two were hurting even worse?

>>18622043
I'm a virgin I would never want to have my first time with someone who fetishises virginity and wants a pure girl only to stroke his ego. Get fucked anon.

>>18622312
>I suppose the other two were hurting even worse?

so it's about hurting her with your dick? Does it get you off Op? youre really repulsive

>>18622315
Problem is, deep down, all men are like me.

>>18622324
No we aren't.

>>18622324
>everyone secretly agrees with me
>if they say they don't they're lying
>if they think they don't they're lying to themselves

Very self-critical..

>>18622043
enjoy having the y chromosome of another man deep inside your girlfriend brain because the blood brain barrier allows foreign DNA to enter her brain after she had sexual intercourse.

>>18622324
I can guarantee that my current boyfried, who will take my virginity someday soon, is nothing like you. You are just a simple pig of a man, and he is not.

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>>18622332

If you're that desperate to leave a mark just cut her or something

>>18622312
>>18622323
It's not about the pain it's about the frenzy about apprehensively taking their first dick, being so consumed about knowing it's their first time feverishly waiting for a meat injection. Nah the other two were actually better but they were questionable. The second girl had been staying round mine alot but it never even got close to kissing even though that was what we both knew was going to happen, anyway one night we were drinking and I passed out in the living room she went to my room, I go in there later on and she was kind of like 'I don't want to do it like this' but I went ahead and did it anyway then we stopped speaking. The third girl wanted me for quite a while in college and I had noticed her a lot then me and her friends booked this room in a hotel thing to drink in for her birthday so we fucked in the night, I pissed the bed and stopped speaking to her, got a message that I never read that was like "I distance myself from people I really care about it just depends if you even want to speak to me again or not" then three or so weeks after that she killed herself; I haven't had sex in four years.

>>18622366
So in a sense, you killed her. And people call me egotistical, purely because of the content of my thoughts.

>>18622392
>egotistical
I don't feel good about it Anon. How is it egotistical? In a sense I feel like I was a hand on her shoulder but she was a very troubled girl. Some of her friends genuinely scorned at me like it was all my fault which is not ok. I have blamed myself to oblivion and back, haven't had a relationship since the news and probably won't be able to touch another person for the rest of my life. I cry myself to sleep(seriously) most nights about what I could have had with her upon learning how similar we were. I try to live for other people really and help when I can to improve things but I know that eventually I will have to kill myself to make things right; not as a stunt to show how raw I feel but just to make the field even. She was a straight A* student who was going to the best university possible and I was an academic delinquent retard with no talents to my name or skills.

My only advice about this matter is don't play with peoples hearts. Not to say we don't do shit on accident or without knowing but you have to take such care not to fuck up even subconsciously.

>>18622419
You're probably a good person and all that, but I just can't see it that way. In fact, I have no pity for you, simply because you had what I can't get in life, and because I'm probably much better than you as well, seeing as how you describe yourself as a retard. The truth is hard.

>>18622043

>Find an awkward morbidly obese girl on online dating
>risk being v& and date a 14 year old
>date nerdy college aged girls who are socially inept
>realize that the guys who took a girls virginity didn't care about the virginity like it was some intangible trophy and all they cared about was busting a nut so you just end up fucking everything you can and eventually a virgin or some of those exciting stories that you hear other guys talk about just happen.

The last one involves changing your mentality, but it would give you the best results. Also, your pursuit for a virgin girl just objectifies the girl, making them not want to have sex with you. The guys who got laid in high school actually cared about a relationship with the girl, or, get this, they just pretended to care.

I guess that is why they call it being a player. You're literally playing with girls emotions to get sex.

>>18622433
Eh well I can build and that's about it.. and I am attractive but mostly completely out of the loop in life which is why I say it. She was previously unstable but strong of character and very stoic. She was just generally a better person than me.

>>18622419
I will don't understand how it's your fault she killed herself. You didn't have to speak to her or be in a relationship with her.

>>18622392
How the fuck did he kill her. He isn't obliged to do shit for her.

>>18622419
Killing yourself accomplishes nothing. You're not to blame for her suicide. You shouldn't have to be compelled to do anything for people just so they don't kill themselves.

>>18622419
On the contrary my friend. You have to live for her. She can't anymore so you have to live enough for the both of you.

>>18622043
you gave yours up already, don't expect to get one
except for that, it's only really special when you're both first timers and make all the exeriences together

>>18622043
You won't. Take it from someone who is miserable and very bitter over that fact.

>>18622065
I'd rather be the best than the first. *shrug*

>>18622058
>feminism

>>18622043
Are you even a virgin yourself?

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DESU Ive taken a girls virginity and fuck it was the most annoying thing. I didnt even finish because it was that annoying I didnt even want to try anymore, thats how fucking bad it was. Trying to get them into position makes me want to kms.

>>18623624
So you're much like me. Yeah, I suspect I'll never get over the fact. I suppose it's like having to accept being a cripple, or that you are poor and always will be, whereas others get to touch happiness.

Staying true to oneself means not accepting the conditions of life, in my opinion. It's lot like anyone wants to rot in a grave.

>>18624363
Only retards think taking a girl's virginity is something like a special prize. It's completely irrelevant. You wouldn't even know if a girl was a virgin or not when having sex.

>>18622043
I know how that feels. I kept my virginity because I knew I wanted my first girlfriend to be a virgin too, that's kind of my justification for it being fair.

In the end I accidentally played with her a little bit too rough and broke/torn her hymen.

I didn't really care that much as I can't see blood anyway and it is a turn off, it was more about the first experience in general.

My first experience wasn't that great either, it was rushed and all, nothing like now, the imagination is always greater than actually taking the virginity.

What I'm saying is it isn't that great, but sure it's better to have someone who didn't have a boyfriend before because sharing the first experience of a relationship in general is great. Expecting that isn't fair though because you had a girlfriend too..

>>18623750
i actually halfway feel the need to barf whenever i see a girl who can't even get in doggystyle correctly...... it's like the purest sign of retardation in a bitch

Why should you get the privilege of deflowering a virgin when you yourself are not also a virgin?

>>18622043
In the real world it is nearly impossible to have sex with a virgin. I fucked 3 dozen women, non of which were virgins. Even my first time at 16 and the girl 14 was not a virgin.

>>18624578
Well think, the women you're more likely to have sex with are more likely to not be virgins, it's not impossible it's just loose women are almost certainly not virgins

>>18622065
>Guys pays millions to have a Virgin
Crazy Arab oil emirs do.

>>18624584
Come on you know how hard it is and kids are fucking earlier without much parental supervision. Seriously if a girl makes it to 14 she's been locked in a room, some guy has taken advantage of her and run off.

>>18624589
And why do they pay that much? It is market driven since virginity is so rare in a woman. Why do you think 72 virgins is only available in a fantasy heaven? It doesn't exist on earth.

>>18622065
>resistance of the hymen
Do you know what a hymen is? It's a membrane around the opening, not a barricade. My bf who took my virginity said that he didn't feel anything special and wouldn't even be aware that I was a virgin if I didn't bleed. Some girls don't even bleed because hymen can get stretched instead of ruptured. It's a giant meme.

>>18624599
And yet men has prided themselves through the centuries in taking virginities. Therefore, I want that too, so I myself can judge what it's like and not like.

>>18624794
Well yeah, but mostly because it was seen as a proof of being "unused". I'm just saying that it has no actual influence on how the sex feels. A virgin isn't tighter.

>>18624794
>I am an independent thinker not influenced by others
>other people found this important so it's important to me

You are contradicting yourself.

>>18624802
It was actually mostly because there was zero risk of her having a child that wasn't yours. If you wed someone you don't know when first meeting and she gets pregnant right away, it can be shady.

Plus the words "virgin" and "maiden" etc were not used as separately as they are today. When to a modern reader it looks like they were stressing that she has never had sex, a lot of the times the term was meant it was more about her being young (thus pretty, in time periods where most people lost their teeth early on).

>>18624808
Well, to clarify, I don't like being told what to think or submitting to emotional appeals and all that. If a large group of people think something, I want to find out why so I can make up my own opinion.

>>18624597
They pay that much because they are used to being able to buy and get anything they want and deflowering someone is literally a unique experience that cannot be repeated. It's the same reason why some ultra-rich people get a huge thrill out of killing or keeping animal species that are dying out. Because they live in a world where they can get everything and that only increases the thrill of doing/getting something that is rare even for you.

That doesn't mean it has inherent value. There are also lots of average men who have taken women's virginities and the only time you hear a man really bragging about it is when he also loved and stayed with the woman. No one is going around "yeah I popped this random girl's cherry, it was a highlight of my life".

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>>18624821
So no man would brag or feel good with himself if getting to pop the cherry of Alizee, huh?

>>18624840
Are you seriously implying that that has more to do with the fact that she was a virgin than with the fact that she's superhot and well known?

>>18624844
She probably has had alot of lovers. Yet the first one won the most.

>>18624848
I think the man marrying her feels like he "wins the most". And regardless, having slept with a woman socially agreed to be exceptionally attractive would be an achievement for any man that he will likely talk about whenever he is drunk. Can you really imagine this conversation where someone says he fucked Scarlett Johansson and his mate goes "eh, you and some other men"? Just face that this matters a whole lot more to you than it does to most.

>>18624855
That depends when you married her. Alizee at 16 was far hotter than at 40. If you marry a woman and she's had like 20 men, it's not like you can feel exclusive or that she is really yours.

>>18624858
Sure, fine, although obviously the idea is that when you marry someone you REALLY like who they are so ideally you still think you are winning by locking down a woman who enhances your life in all kind of ways.

The thing is that men marry women who have had other partners and still feel like she's wholly his all the time. Marrying someone is about choosing to spend your life together, potentially to be parents together, to face the good and the bad as partners. Not (anymore) about sex primarily. Most men marrying also have had many other partners they do not exactly feel attached to just because they once were physically intimate.

>>18624866
Yeah, but closeness in a relaitionship and what not is another topic. Most men want sexual conquests, and don't necessarily want to be close to their conquests afterwards.

I didn't get to conquer in life, and there I feel my life is forever stunted. Because I cannot have the type of conquest that even average and stupid men did get.

>>18624878
It's all relative. You say you "never got to conquer" because you never had sex with a virgin. Some other man will feel like he "never got to conquer" because he married his first girlfriend and doesn't know what sex is like outside of a romantic context. Another man will feel like he "never got to conquer" because he never yet fucked anyone to begin with, or not when he was young in his own eyes. And so on.

>>18624886
True. Pain and suffering is relative, and this is my form of hell. But I believe there are many men like me. It stings for those that never got to fuck a virgin. It stings at such a fundamental level it makes me question my own worth. We value what we can't get.

>>18624896
If this is so common for men, why isn't this thread filled with men agreeing with you? This is after all the website for social outcasts where anyone can speak anonymously.

>>18624897
Good question. I think there are several possibilities or factors that work together. First of all, men have been taught not to think that way by society and women + it's a too harsh a truth to face, thus it's pushed down into the subconscious. I also believe that men want the same thing, the basic will to power, and that this manifests in various ways. Most are social mimics, and if society tells them something, they mimic that and feel "powerful" when they do so.

>>18624897
>If this is so common for men, why isn't this thread filled with men agreeing with you? This is after all the website for social outcasts where anyone can speak anonymously.

Well I for one never slept with a virgin either. Sometimes I feel jealous of the guy who took my girlfriends virginity, he got to enjoy her young and tight body.

But I'm not really making a big fuss about it, I have other success in life - plenty money, lots of travelling, looking good, sexy AF girlfriend (who also is rich), good health (for now), good job and so on....

>>18624904
Men are taught more overtly (at least in liberal areas) to not shame women for sexual behavior yet "slut" is still the go to insult. Somehow a more subliminal message about not looking at virgins as conquests is much more effective than that...? Besides, if there is any place to take your unaccepted views it's here. Even on r9k, which was my board for some years, most of the guys obsessing over virgins were more afraid to disappoint a woman or jealous of her "normalcy" and non-isolated youth than wanting to be first then go because that would make them the man.

>>18624905
What you describe is still different than what OP describes. You focus on her youth and he focuses on coming first. Also I take it that you would not trade your girlfriend for a more average girl who is a virgin.

The only thing I remember about my first time is that it hurt. It didn't really leave a mark on me or anything. OP, you choose to feel bad about "missing out". Kinda reminds me about my ex who cheated on me because he was "missing out" on being with more than one girl. What is society teaching young men that they feel like this?

>>18624909
Ah, but why do men shame women for sexual behaviour? Ultimately, to control the female body. Society tells you to let go of your real desires, and in return you get a pet on the head. And yes, I'm jealous of those who got to have a fullfilling and normal life in their youth, where they got to experience the milestones in the right order. Seducing a 40 year old woman is not as sweet a conquest as seducing a teenager, and I wanted to win. I hate being second best or a loser, someone who gets the scraps.

>>18624917
Ultimately you are at fault for not having those experiences when you were younger. You can (rightfully or wrongly) point to other influences or other people, but you were the only one who could make it happen and you couldn't. That might not be a nice realization, but fostering a victim complex about how you "got" scraps like God dealt you shitty cards, is not going to get you anywhere in life. You get nowhere by downplaying your agency or acting like people forced you to lead the live you lead. Besides I don't know how old you are, but there's a lot in between being too old to get with a teenager and going for someone who's forty.

>>18624912
>What you describe is still different than what OP describes. You focus on her youth and he focuses on coming first. Also I take it that you would not trade your girlfriend for a more average girl who is a virgin.
Actually she is still young, 26.... Im not sure that its because she was younger back then, that I'm a little jealous, infact im not sure why I sometimes get those feelings.

I'm well aware that those feelings are pointless and I strive to push them away when they occur.

I mean, I have yet to meet a girl who still reminisces about that first time, if it wasnt for the fact that it was real love and someone very special to her....

I do however put special emphasis on sex... I will not serious date someone who enjoys casual sex, I'm not judging by any means though.

I dont care if I'm the 1st or the 4th, but I can assure I will not want to be just a statistic. Sex should be something special between 2 people, not shared around like a box of cookies.

>>18624926
>sorry for my shitty way of phrasing.... :(

>>18624926
I don't disagree with anything you said but it's a different outlook than OP has. Lots of people don't like to think of their partner having been with other people. If you love someone you want to have all of them, the idea that they shared something with someone else (whether love or sex) that you are not a part of can be jarring. But that - or variations - is a different sentiment than what OP expresses. OP is not focusing on not being his girl's first, he wants to be someone's - anyone's, though probably no fat/ugly chick's - first.

>>18624922
Yeah, my life got ruined, and I held the knife that stabbed me. But I feel that whatever I achieve and whatever sex I get at this point, can't make up for what I've lost. So I had a ONS With a 25 year old. How about ten such one night stands. How does that compare to getting to have sex with 3 virgins?

>>18624940
Think about it in less dramatic terms. You don't like the way you lived your life. You are afraid you won't make up for that.
It might seem nitpicky, but constantly talking about how your life is ruined and forever will be ruined will only make it seem more true to you. If you want to give up, off yourself. If you don't want to give up, wallowing is counter-productive.

It's of no use to ask me or anyone how it compares because you are judging based on your own perception and what you personally find important. Many men would rather have a ONS with a twenty five year old who fucks his brains out than be with a virgin who tells him to slow down and be careful every other moment. But that's irrelevant to you because it's not how you see it. So if you want to change you have to delve into why you see it this way and actively try to change it around as opposed to defending why you are right.

>>18624955
Thanks for the advice. I feel like you understand me. Better than all the condemnation for having a feeling you can't let go of. Like you said: It's not about what other people think, but my own perception.

I think deep down I've lived a loveless, terrible life, and that getting a virgin has become a symbol for getting revenge. It's the one thing that could make me say "see, I had this too" and the virgin would have to recognize me. Noone really has done so. Deep down I feel a huge inferiority complex and simply being unworthy of love, to the point I can't even see it as a possibility.

>>18622043
Even worse is the prospect of marrying a Woman who's had multiple sex partners. I would rather be alone than shackled to someone like that.

>>18625008
You will die alone and a virgin, you know that right?

>>18624979
And to expand on this...I'll keep it as a log afterwards. Since I feel unworthy, even having sex with a woman wouldn't be enough. I still wouldn't believe her if she told me she was impressed with me, let alone having any feelings of love. I know my second girlfriend loved me, but that was unimportant to me. Because I beyond everything else wanted to be recognized. Since she wasn't a virgin and gave it away to some scum, I had no proof of any love, and thus didn't believe it. I wouldn't even want it if I could have it.

So the key is to solve the inferiority complex. It won't give me my youth and life back, and I will always grieve over what I've lost. But maybe I can be alive for a couple of decades, before everything is over.

>>18625025
You sound like an insufferable cunt.

>>18625015
Yes, which is why I stated:

>I would rather be alone than shackled to someone like that

There's more dignity in dying a virgin than willingly marrying someone who had sex outside of marriage.

>>18625031
How so?

>>18625036
I have no idea how dying alone and miserable, without having ever had someone love you, is in any way dignified. You're just desperately trying to come up with excuses for being a sack of shit that nobody will ever find attractive.

>>18625038
You hated your gf and lied to her.

>>18625047
Yeah I truly hated her for what she did, but that is because I wanted to love her, which I could not. And believe me, I kicked up alot of fuss when I got to know what had happened. The relationship lasted 3 years after that.

>>18625043
>I have no idea how dying alone and miserable, without having ever had someone love you, is in any way dignified
It's tragic. It's suffering what life gave you. Sure I'll suffer, at I didn't take the easy way out and married a woman who's sexed other men.

>>18625057
*at least I didn't take...

>>18625057
It's okay, many of us thought that way when we were 15.

>>18625064
So what happened, why did you change?
Don't just say you grew up. Explain it to someone who's never been through that change.

>>18625025
You are so overly dramatic it's funny

>>18625079
It really was growing up, that's all. As you get older, your attitudes towards sex get much less uptight. And once you have sex you realize it's not a big deal and wonder why you ever believed this magical virginity thing.

>>18625086
Perhaps you that are so masterful can tell me how to really see it.

>>18625086
I agree, that anon is pathetic. Nothing more repulsive than a hyper dramatic guy, kek

>>18625088
I'm kind of religious, so I see sex as more than just some fun. I doubt my views will change the older I get.

>>18622043
> Never got to take a girl's virginity
*breathes in*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

> How do I get over it?
You don't. From now until the day Death grants you sweet release, your fate is to know every time you look in the mirror that you are one of life's losers. You will never know what sweet virgin pussy feels like. And let me tell you, it feels like Heaven. The look on a girl's face when she realizes that she is now a woman is better than any drug on Earth.

God, I don't know how you can live with such shame. It's like trying to live with a 2 inch dick.

t. Modeling agent, taken a dozen V cards or more. I lose count.

>>18625149
t. Kissless virgin NEET fantasizing.

Ok, so i have taken 4 girls' virginities and it's actually rather lame, wouldn't do it any more if it was today. You're a fucking pathetic little loser if you think this is what "success" means and that you're somehow entitled to it. Pathetic!

>>18626368
I don't necessarily feel entitled to anything. It's about what I want. I may want to win the Olympics, but that doesn't mean I demand the other athletes to stop competing or letting me win.

It's easy for you, because you had all this, and therefore don't value it as much. Put yourself in my shoes. Wouldn't you want a virgin if you never had one, to compensate for a miserable early life?

>>18622043
I remember my first in bed as being the worst! You won't be remembered as being "her first" as much as being the worst sex she has ever had.

Do virgins...you give them something to laugh about later on.

>>18622043
Dude..... Literally meaningless.

In some parallel universe somewhere an alternate you is posting in this thread how youve never been someones first tennis opponent.. Because they value that retardedly meaningless thing in that universe.

Youve missed nothing.

Be sadder you never sky dove or built a piece of furniture from scratch or went to a foreign country. I dont know something you havent done that actually means something.

>>18622065
>hymen

Hymen virginity thing a myth. Most women break theirs masturbating or even playing fucking basketball as children.

It's imporant to me because I have a strong sense of honour, and because I want to win. I don't care about intentions or emotions (I'm slightly autistic) I care only about results.

Here there's an escort service that actually auctions virginities. I'm considering this as an option. https://www.cinderella-escorts.com/en/escorts-virgins

>>18626635
Technically by your logic all of those things are worthless too.

>>18622043
OP what you think you're missing out on is the thing you see in teen movies where the nerdy girl chooses the guy she wants to take her virginity. You want to be that someone to a girl, but you know deep down that your not desirable in that way to someone that fits your standards. Rather then working on yourself to fit the criteria, you sit here and complain about some idolized world that didn't exist.

Cut the shit. Grow up. Become a worthwhile human being.

>>18627499
>honour
You don't know jack shit about honour. You're trying to pass off your insecurities as honour.

>>18627514
I don't feel I need a young girls approval for whatever stupid ass reasons she has. I' just massivly turned on by the thought of a virgin, and feel I've been cheated of a privilege.

Besides, even if I sorted myself out and became the man they wanted, I still don't get the reward now, that is, taking a virginity. No reward=No reason

>>18626628
Can confirm. Mine wasn't a virgin anymore but still didn't get his shit together. Worst fuck I ever had. I unironically drank myself o sleep afterwards. Broke up with him couple weeks later after waiting months before letting him take it.

It's not worth it, anon. If you aren't a professional Gigollo pleasuring women for a living you probably will only remain the guy which the woman wants to forget.

>>18627656
>I've been cheated of a privilege
You can't be cheated out of a privilige. That'S not how priviliges work, anon.

>>18622043
If you have sex with a dead girl it's almost the same as fucking a virgin, without the whinging.

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>>18622146
I dunno mate. I didn't take this chick's virginity but I sure as hell felt like a winner after she texted me this.

Inb4 >sandnigger. I'm a sort of Arab looking Cuban, she knew how to fuck with me.

>>18624597
They're also the same dudes who fuck goats and behead 15 year olds for listening to western music.

If their 15th century ideals are what you want to strive for, you might as well just kill yourself to make the worlds IQ go up a tad.

Deflowering a girl is overrated. It is awkward and uncomfortable. I couldn't even cum when fucking my HS girlfriend be cause she was too tight and seemed to be in pain.

>>18625164
Ok, you got me. I'm not a modeling agent. Truth is, I'm an underemployed, fat slob with no money and debt out my ass.

But shit, at least I banged a virgin in my younger years. How much of a waste of oxygen does OP have to be to fail at such a simple task?

Your need to take someone's virginity seems to be a reflection of your own insecurity and ego. You literally put it as "winning" sexually. That's fucking retarded. Sex is something two individuals have because they're interested in sex -- it's like complaining that, while you got ice cream, you weren't the first to get it. It's just stupid, and the only value being "first" has is to stroke your own idiotic ego and worldview.

And this is all coming from someone who took his girlfriend's virginity. All it meant was blood and mild discomfort, honestly.

>>18628872
Again, how would you feel if your gf lost it to some scum who took advantage of her in a drunken ONS, like mine did. How would you feel if you never got to touch a virgin girl your entire life, even if that was your greatest wish?

>>18628901
sounds like you're bitter about your gf's experience and translating this to "hurrr i need a virgin or nothing at all"

>>18628918
Damn right I'm bitter. I should have been granted a sweeter fate.

>>18628983
Well that isn't every womans fault but your gf's fault. Despite the story your girl told you she was ready and when a woman is ready, virgin or not, she'll take the first available.

>>18622043
This kills me too, OP. I don't know why, no one tried to raise me that way, but I've been fanatically pro-monogamy for as long as I can remember. I would literally prefer one mutually first and last partner to a million top models lining up for a one night stand. For the record, I too had a miserable start in life which obviously left some psychological scars. Promiscuous types can't comprehend how someone might value the romantic aspect of sex more than the physical stimulus aspect.

>>18629104
>Promiscuous types can't comprehend how someone might value the romantic aspect of sex more than the physical stimulus aspect.
It's mostly different ways of looking at it. You look at people having sex with many people and think that they must not be able to comprehend how sex can be about intimacy and individual feelings more than the physical. They look at people who place this much value on virginity and think, how sincere are the feelings of love for her personality, if everything crashes down because she once did something physical he doesn't like?

Basically both sides feel like the other is shallow and having the priorities wrong.

>>18629130
It's very simple why everything crashes down. If someone fucks around he/she cannot be very considerate about being loyal. A huge personality flaw.

>>18629147
But that's the point anon, someone who does not think that way would go "okay, so the perceived red flag that she would not be trusted because she's had sex is more important than how she ever treated you, how loyal she was in past relationships, how committed she shows herself to be...?" and still find that shallow.

>>18629019

As much as it hurts me, that is probably true. I can never get over how easily and cheap she gave herself away, for nothing at all. I hated her for that.

>>18629104
Very interesting point. And yes, I think I must be the monogamy type. Since I have asperger, my forfathers were (relatively) more solitary and invested more in a partner. If you're only going to have 1-2 partners in life (I've slept with 3 and am in my mid thirties, and the third one was a mistake) you naturally want to have all of them.

>>18629130

I can agree on this. So I suppose the key for the monogamous type is to find someone that at least can understand our feelings. For me it's easy. I can never budge from the principle that I wanted a virgin. Saying something else would entail being untrue to myself, and I can never move away from my nature.

>>18629155
I get it. But, both sides of the fence are not equally wrong. If it were so, from a professional standpoint, security clearances would be granted based on how nicely a person treats her supervisor/boss. Instead, the history of the person is the determining factor as to what level of trust should be granted to that person. Same with background checks.

>>18629147
That's what everyone who can't get sex on a regular basis says.

>>18629161
>I can never get over how easily and cheap she gave herself away, for nothing at all.
The way you talk about it is kind of weird. I mean, if a woman wants to have sex then she's getting something out of the experience. Even if it disappoints her she finds out something she was curious about or wanted to have lived through. You look at it like "giving herself away" but that almost implies like it's this huge sacrifice at her expense. And I can tell you as someone who once was a teenage girl, we (yes, also modest girls who hold out for someone special and lose it at a late age) are curious and horny for it just like guys. Maybe not AS physically drawn to it, not like I can compare, but there was definitely the aching waiting until you get to find out what it is like to be held and touched and be body to body. To her, she wasn't the prize, sex itself was. This is obviously assuming she actually wanted to have sex but if this happened against her will and you didn't mention it yet, your priorities are pretty fucked anyway.

Do you feel that women should treat themselves as trophies and give themselves to the most worthy regardless of their own wishes? If so do you realize that this attitude is what causes so many guys here to lament that women have inane standards, and what probably did not help you getting laid back when you were a teenager?

>>18629180
Why does having had sex in itself prove that they are somehow not loyal? If anything, wouldn't people who have already been in long term monogamous relationships without cheating have a better reliability factor than a virgin?

I never understood this meme. Are you stupid, OP?

>>18629161
>for nothing at all
My first gf lost hers at 15 to a guy she didn't know at a party because her friend was having sex with her bf and she didn't want her friend to think she was a virgin. Keep in mind this girl professed to love me at that time though we were not together or dating. In fact right after it happened she ran to one of my friends crying and told him what she had done and knew it would ruin any chance she had with me. Well, like an idiot 6 months later we started dating, she made me wait 3 months to fuck what she had given within hours to a guy she didn't know. I hated her too and I would cringe when she would tell me she loved me so after a 1 1/2 years I started cheating on her. She never knew but broke up with me after 2 years and married some guy she worked with within a month.

>>18629190
Men like that think that woman don't really like sex and deprive men of sex out of cruelness, and that they are sluts if you don't give it to Them

>>18629161
To be frank, both of my grandfathers were also very committed family men (and both died relatively young for it lol). So maybe it's determined by genetics, like everything in life. I've never slept with anyone (mid-20s). Had the chance multiple times, but it grieved me when I seriously thought about it, so I just didn't go for it.

Also, not sure if I'm an aspie but I suspect I may be one too.

>>18629200
Quite possibly, just trying to see if there's any wriggle room for some reason.

>>18629147
Stop with your false dichotomy bullshit. Just because I've had sex outside of a committed relationship, doesn't mean I'm unable to have one.

>>18629190
>Do you feel that women should treat themselves as trophies and give themselves to the most worthy regardless of their own wishes
Not OP, but no one ITT is saying anything of the sort. Women can slut it up as much as they want, but they shouldn't turn around and start insulting Men who want virgins.

>>18629210
There's a question mark for a reason, I am wondering what OP's ideal looks like here. Also the issue isn't so much that OP is wanting to date a virgin but rather that he chose to date a girl who isn't a virgin and is now unable to accept that she isn't.

>>18629207
You can have one. Except, unless the other person also did as you have done, he/she will be deeply disturbed by the thought of it, assuming there's any real commitment in the relationship. What you did was an objectively selfish and shameful act.

>>18623674
Women would like you to be that as well. Thats the guy we remember, trust me.

>>18622043
Never understood all this desire for virgins and would bet you many girls aren't but tell you they are. When I was in high school I had 3 girls tell me they wanted me to be their first and I helped them with that along with 4, perhaps 5 (one may have lied) girls I took their virginity. Nothing in the world like being a high school guy with all these girls wanting that first dick. Whew. But, since I graduated high school not sure I've even met a female virgin much less fucked one.

>>18629191
See >>18629229
Whether that post is true or fantasy, any and everyone past pre-pubescence knows in their heart that the first time is a special occasion, an honor which should ideally be saved for marriage.

>>18629217
>objectively
That's objectively not what objectively means.

And not everyone feels the way you do. I have zero interest in casual sex and have only been with one person, but I don't agree with you at all. In fact my one partner had had casual sex and it was never an issue to me.

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>>18622043

>How do I get over never getting a virgin?

Kek

>>18629241
Its true, I had to sit here and think of the girls. The biggest reason many guys in high school didn't have sex is they thought it was something special and cock blocked themselves. I had no such hang up. The girls wanted to have sex with someone and I would. Didn't hurt I had a nice car.

>>18629241
This is an entirely different argument than that people who are not virgins are somehow unfit to be loyal.

Also yes most people remember their first time because it is a cultural milestone and because it was the first taste of reality after wondering/fantasizing and so on. But the feeling of "is this really all?" or being astounded that you don't feel different is incredibly common. Particularly because many people do not realize that sex is not some static fantastic thing but something that reflects the bond that you have with someone and the depth of your feelings. And even if you have deep feelings for one another, a handful of jagged thrusts after not being wet enough can still feel weirdly unremarkable after psyching it up in your head. I have never met a girl who did not remember her first time, but by far most of them primarily remember this "that was it? really that was all?" feeling.

>>18629217
That's funny.... I don't feel any shame.... are you sure about it being objectively shameful?

And my wife doesn't see to be too horrified. If she were, she hasn't mentioned it at any point in the past 10 years.

Just do what I did OP.

I always wanted to lose my virginity to another virgin too, but in high school I got too excited and lost it to the town bicycle. It's ok though because in college I had literally a shit ton of sex with tons of girls of all different types. When I was 22 I met my future wife and she was 18, a virgin and one of the most innocent good natured people I've ever met. I've held onto her ever since.

Are you too old or ugly or something? Is this a beta uprising? Assuming you're an American, plenty of girls don't have sex until they're 18 or 19

>>18629241
>everyone past pre-pubescence knows in their heart that the first time is a special occasion,

It's really not. It's usually disappointing, awkward, and ultimately, forgettable. The first time you have sex is no more special, or memorable than any other first in your life.

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>>18629217

Yeah, I'm not the poster you're responding to but I don't know what you're talking about. I don't understand how having sex with someone I was attracted to at the time is selfish or shameful. I don't feel any shame at all.

I think your whole "objective" argument holds no water, anon.

>>18622140
>Autists that create civilization
LOL whatever helps you sleep at night bro

>>18626639
Yeah they were playing basketball with tyrone.
Coincidence?

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>all the people complaining about virginity
AH AH AH AH you don't know the true agony of being a kissless without friends at age 21 and you aren't interested in anything beside vidya and working out so you got a tough time meeting people

>also OP isn't a virgin yet desires for more
Stop with your honor BS and be happy you aren't a kissless virgin. Someone wanted to have sex with you and be happy for that you spaz

>>18629301
Not him, but it displays your frivolous attitude towards sex. OP and some other men put more value in sex, such that they would feel ashamed to be with someone who had sex with other people before them. And no amount of:
>It's just Sex!
will overcome the disgust that OP feels towards his partner degrading herself like that.