Thread replies: 3
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1
File: noose-edi.jpg (40KB, 1000x750px) Image search:
[Google]
40KB, 1000x750px
How do you fully get over losing someone?
I had a friend who committed suicide about 4 years ago. His life wasn't going anywhere and had a lot of family problems. I find out he had done some shady things and had lied to me about a lot of things. This caused a divide between us and left me very angry with him. After I confronted him I had stopped talking to him for about a month. One night I get a call from him and he was apologizing to me for everything, I was still mad and said some horrible things to him. He then said he's sorry and was going to make things right then hung up. The next day I get a call from a mutual friend telling me that he had hanged himself and his mom found him in the morning. It turned out that he had made a 9 page suicide note and wrote a page to me. It was some of the nicest things someone had ever written to me.
I know that I probably couldn't stop him but the last things he heard were my angry words and I have to live with that. I can conduct my life but when things get quiet I find myself thinking about that night when he called me and I cry. How can I fully get over this, will this pain ever go away?
>>
Loss never goes away, you need to accept it.
And you shouldn't blame yourself for your words, yes it was a shitty thing to do but he did some questionable things to cause you two to drift apart, which caused your anger in the last call. And there's no way you could have known this was gonna be the last, people who really intend to kill themselves don't let anybody know beforehand, and since he made some calls to try and clear things up he was probably set on it too. You being nice on the phone wouldn't have changed that.
>>
>>18620882
Speaking as someone else who's still dealing with the aftermath of a sucide from 4 months ago, my only hope is that after 4 years it doesn't feel as fresh. I don't think you ever fully get over it, and will always kind of replay what you could have done differently and if it would change anything.
I will tell you that I honestly believe that even if you had told him you forgiven him, he likely still would have elected to end his life. You were one part of something much larger for him, and even if you and told him it was all ok there were likely other demons pushing him to do so.
In my case it was my father who took his own life, and despite seeing that he was planning for months to end his life I still wonder if the last day I saw him if I could have said anything different to change his mind. I hate how casual our final conversation was and that it ended with "I love you. See you later" despite him knowing we would never see each other again. I think death always leaves a scar but there is just something haunting about suicide
Thread posts: 3
Thread images: 1
Thread images: 1