GIOYC -- Get It Off Your Chest

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i got my dog to lick my asshole

>>18619931
y u do this

In hate everything about me. Form my body and looks to my constant failures and even mundane tasks. I have no talents or skill, my clock is ticking and people who what the best of me try and push me, but they do not understand that there is no future for me.

>>18619931
This is considered animal abuse. Please stop taking advantage of something that just trusts you implicitly.

Because of the abuse I suffered as a child, I took out my anger on animals. I killed multitudes of frogs, insects, and eventually chicks and ducklings. I later regretted it and tortured myself once I grew older. To this day, no one I know knows I did this.

I want to die and find no purpose in living. All I find pleasure in is in watching stupid meme videos. I want to have a job and write novels, as both are my passions and I am pretty good at them, but I am so insecure about my abilities in both and am so aware that I am shit tier compared to most others in both fields that I just want to give up. The only reasons as to why I haven't killed myself are because I'm afraid of the pain that comes with suicide methods and because I don't want to make my parents, siblings, and the rest of my family which I love so dearly to suffer. I'm stuck in a dead end and want to cry.

>be me
>go to party with a male friend and a female one (I'll call her B from now on)
>B and I have had weird emotional tension for a long time
>we've been really close for a year, we also trust each other fully
>I care for her more than any gf I've had
>Always tell her "I love you no homo"
>We have mixed feelings for quite some time, but after a fuckup decided to tell her that I just want to be friends with her
>her stance is the same as mine and tension dissipates
>male friend and I are getting shitfaced
>go talk to B
>drunk as shit now
>start hugging and shit
>end up kissing her
>she had virgin lips and now her first kiss was one his drunk friend gave to her
>realize this
>start apologizing but continue kissing
>she says its alright
>we continue making out for what seemed half an hour
>still apologizing everytime I stop to breathe
>she is ok with me kissing her
>go home, shower, apologize two more times by phone and go to sleep
>wake up
>chat with her
>she seems okay with what happened, even jokes about my kissing skills
>thankgod.jpg
>conversation goes normal
>rest of day is nice
>doesn't seem like she regrets what happened

Thoughts?

I obtain no joy in anything anymore, and haven't for most of my life. There was a brief respite from this when I felt like I had a purpose for existing, however this purpose has been lost. Beyond that I can only say I have ever felt happy for one month in the entirety of my long life. I have traveled the world, I make close to six figures, I have overcome illnesses that render most people unable to work, and I have explored different hobbies. Nothing seems to work however except for what I had, but that is an impossibility to regain. I wish I could regain that month and have it spread across the remainder of my life, but such hopes were stolen.

>>18620084
Holy shit, you were exactly me up until you got to the point where you mentioned the part about the illnesses.

I hate my gay moms.

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My entire life I've assumed that I am unloveable, and I will always have to play a character in order to be able to attract a girl. I've literally just acted like myself, and made my usual dumb jokes, and shes still interested. Shes a 9/10 and I have no clue what I am, but fuck, how did I get so lucky?

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I wish I didn't exist so that I wouldn't have to be so afraid of dying.

I also want to violently massacre nearly everyone on this website for the shit they gave me. Hey, they never did anything for me, so why should I do something good for them?

I can barely eat, spend my days sleeping. Sometimes I really want to end it all.

Just went on match.com and couldn't meet one single woman's requirements.

Being 5'4 is suffering. The only women I could match with were the ones who forgot to do the heigh part and had their shit set from 2'0 to 8'11

damn, one bad day of minor and small bad day with anxiety and it was enough to turn you off completely?

Then again it was already probably set in stone what you wanted to do.

Still a bit of a bummer, but used to it at this point. Im not that fucked up but I get out of bed at least and have a good life with tons of cool things and great career opportunities.

Eh, guess its better than sinking drinks every night like you do trying to escape some baggage and crying yourself to sleep sometimes.

>>18619926
i once thought i was gay, when was 12 but realized i wasn't. 8 years later here i am... bisexual

You are a huge piece of shit, I hope there is a god so he can throw you in hell where you belong. You fucking whore, I loved you, and what do you do? You leave me, you have your siblings tell me that you died, you let me mourn, and here you are trying to talk to me again? Go to hell.

Can I just die now?

I'm not supposed to care about you because I know you would only get me into trouble with your interest in cocaine and naïveté with regards to the people you associate with. Shit, I am involved with someone now and I hate that it hurts so much the way you spun today on me. If all the things you said to me were really an issue then why did you grab my ass before I refused to kiss you and told you why. It hurts to lose you for good because ever since we hung out that first time I saw you as someone I could potentially fall in love with hard. That's absolutely terrifying. Ah well. Stay out of trouble you wonderful sexy bitch. I will continue masturbating to the pictures you sent me.

Listen. We've been great friends for the last two years and few months we've known each other for. As you may already know, I've been undergoing a bit of a crisis as of lately, and honestly, you moving away isn't making it better. Don't feel bad though.

I know your relationship with your boyfriend continues well. I know he treats you well, and that he makes you happy. Seeing you smile is good.

I know it's awkward to say, but it doesn't matter. I wanted to say it before you left.

I love you. I've been in love with you since the day I first saw you when I was new to the school. Your gorgeous face, skin, and hair, your outgoing yet adorably shy personality, your vast intelligence, your strength and resilience, your angelic voice, your demure yet quirky and brave personality. I could go on and on. Every time I think of the ideal woman for me, I realize I'm basically describing you.

Farewell and Godspeed. Take good care. Don't worry about me. Goodbye.

[proceeds to cry in a corner]

Should've fallen asleep 4 hours ago, shiet

>>18620376
Same. I make awful decisions.

>>18619931
Wasn't there a tripfag here in /adv/ who had sex with a dog? Her trip was AGirlByHerOwnRules or something really similar to that.

>>18620091
Hi I'm from /pol/ can I tell you about the Jews?

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>talk to this guy for a month
>fuck
>have all intention to date
>constant i miss you bullshit
>guy has a longtime internet girl friend over
>after she stays at his place he goes to hers a week on a week off
>don't see him for 2 weeks
>semi lose feelings but whatever.jpg glad to get back to normal after things
>makes him semi mad after texting irrelevant comment he called "toxic"
>was baffled that he was upset by what i said
>left me and said i gave off a red flag
>said he needed time from his exes
>tfw trying to use me as a scapegoat to leave bc likes other girl and doesn't want to openly admit it

i knew damn well that he likes that girl because i always see their i miss you bullshit on twitter. it's not like i was fully wrapped up in him anyhow it's just ass to feel like you rank second to some random asshole that doesn't even live in this state

mfw pump and dump

>>18619926
I hate myself because I was naive and believed in the idea of love.

I started talking to a girl online. After meeting her a year later turns out she is married to her "roomate" in a loveless marriage which happened when she was 17 y/o...10 years prior.

I keep going figuring the past is the past and love means you stand together. And the guy was only married because a divorce was costly. He knew of me and was fine and finally had a reason to divorce.

Fast forward a year she gets depressed bc of no job and being dependent on me for money (still ldr) and escapes reality to play vid games. She won't let me move in til her divorce proceedings are done but I don't have the money to pay my own bills and her bills too (husband stopped buying food and paying utilities). I stay with her thinking love means you stick together for richer or poorer.

Fast forward another year and she is withdrawn from me and gets pregnant via ivf. I nearly commit suicide but stop because she is caring about me again and talks of a future again and stops drinking/games. I convince myself to continue because love means you forgive and accept and I hoped it would be a miscarriage as she could only afford one attempt. It went to term.

I hate convincing myself of who I thought she could be to me. I am now in cc debt. I hate the fact that I am now raising some donor kid. Everything I liked about myself - optimist, sociable, and capable of believing that love is all powerful...none of that is there.

I am past the point of return. To stabilize financially would take years. I keep going with her and move in this sept. because I hope my own kids give me new purpose. And because I want to absolutely see this donor baby...the thing that killed me emotionally...to end up in such a shit position and suicidal or dead long before his mother. I am devoting the rest of my life to ensure that the person who took away all my innocence sees her first born son rot away.

>>18620516
holy

>>18620516
What the fuck.

Hey, I'm sorry you feel that way. As you used to say.
I gave you so many chances to work things out together. What did you do then? Try to talk? Nope, you ignored the fuck out of me. You kept saying you cared about me and that you missed me. That didn't stop but you never made an effort to talk. So I thought you were done with me. You kept this up for months, almost a year.

And out some cosmic coincidence I met someone in a fucking game that lived close to me. I met someone that i strangely fell for over time of playing together. Playing a fucking game that i played because of the way you treated me, you drove me to drown my sorrows in vidya. So somehow you found out I met this person, well in person, don't know how you found out. How you know that I started going out with them, I don't know, but hey fuck you and whoever told you.

You had your chance, I still do feel for you. But, not enough to leave this person. I wanted more than anything to work things out, but when there was a time to fix us, you acted like we weren't anything and treated me like a person would a cheater or something.

Nah, I don't want to give up what I have with her, she actually treats me like I matter to her. Enjoys it when I make time for her. Supports me and actually loves it when i offer my help, no matter how small. Is this what it feels like to be loved?
Fuck the world is strange, I had to deal with you for 10 years in order to be happy with not just myself, but others.
Fuck I should actually thank you.
But I won't.

>>18620576
I'm sorry hun, but with that unattractively bad attitude you have, I hope that 'new' person leaves you.

In reality I love you all but I hate myself.

Yesterday I confessed to someone who I'd call my best friend that I'm crazy about him and have been for about 2 years. We're really close and he took it well but not the way I expected. He was deeply in love with me during that time and I wasn't in a position to pursue anything so I didn't. Right now it seems like the feelings aren't reciprocated and I feel like a fucking idiot because nothing would've changed even if I didn't tell him. But I'm happy I haven't lost him, that's all that counts.

>>18620576
If you are who I think you are:
1) I talked to you every god damn day, you were too busy in your escapism to give a damn. You were always depressed, and you still are. You had the time to talk to me openly but you refused because you wanted to avoid conflict like a child which made your situation worse. You had no other responsibilities and no job other than to be there for me like I always was there for you, and to remain faithful. But that was too hard for you I guess. I did all the heavy lifting and worked while you sat on your ass moping all the time playing video games refusing to put in anything, while I grinded my ass to the bone for you.
2) Don't change the gender of the new person to hide who you are.
3) You were treated like a cheater after I found out you did cheat, you aren't the victim fuck off.
4) You ruined a nearly decade long friendship and a long term relationship for some random person you meet online.

Your new relationship will fail as well because you are an emotionally abusive selfish piece of shit. Fuck off unless you are willing to act decently again, you don't give a damn about anyone other than yourself or care about anything other than feeling good 24/7.

You don't seem you have changed during these two years.
I miss when you used to text me at random hours.
I loved the sheer quantity of our meaningless interactions.
But I cannot tell you this. I keep repeating myself I don't need you, and that there's nothing I can do about it. Which is true. I have no hold on you, and you are so lame. Oh, I would tell you how I feel.
Fuck, mate, breed. A year old nickname for a safe catch.

S
I just want you back, man. You with cojones again.
You used to be the best of the best, a towering colossus man who'd eviscerate the shit out of anyone in your way, either with words or with your own power. Sure, you were an asshole towards me as well, and you never really got out much, but at the fucking least you exercised all the time and basically were a man in your own right. You provided an example I always wanted to follow, but couldn't because I was lazy. I need you more than ever now. I fucking miss having you with an ounce of wrath and power.

Now, here you are, a meek, implied druggo who has almost nothing going for him except a wife I guess? And I hear she's been treating you like shit, too. I even heard you stabbed a dude, but that was either for revenge on what he said to your gf or for drugs. I dunno, the woman I heard that from was on drugs to, beats the hell out of me.

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE MAN THAT RAISED ME!?

All that remains is a dead example of a decent man. No audacity, no energy, nothing. Void, much like everyone's hearts I've encountered since long ago.

I fucking hate this life, and I just want someone to run back to and ask if he could comfort my broken spirits after a shitty day of work. Or at least vent and you'd vent back and we'd find a way to spit venom while we're comforting each other with our agony. It doesn't make sense, but as it's been said "misery loves company".

Next to two other people, you're the one I used to call the unbreakable wall.

Goddamn it man, I just need you back. You were a block of ice in the middle of fucking fire, yet when shit gets real, you breathed fire yourself. I'm dying inside, and I just want my former hero to revive me.

>>18620605
>hun'
I hope you stay the bitter ugly spinster you are now forever until you and your twelve ugly cats die in a carbon monoxide leak. You fucking bitch who do you even think you are talking to this dude like that? He got out of a toxic relationship and found someone who loves him and you come along and shit all over his progress?
Fuck that and fuck you you ugly old cunt.

Every time I finally cobble some semblance of normalcy my life just falls apart all over again. Over and over, I've had to rebuild everything from the ground up, and I just can't do it anymore. I'm almost 30 at this point and I'm about to be homeless, again. I can't take this anymore, and I wish I wasn't such a chicken shit so I could just off myself already. I just want this pathetic existence to end already.

So 2 questions is it worth doing Brazilian wax and is there something wrong with me?
I knew guy for years but somehow we hooked up and now dating. Ever since he forgot to tell people we are dating I can't really trust him anymore even though he swears that he has no feelings for her is just friends. I was there when he sent it out but then he mentions that I would have liked her for a potential 3some did not really care for it. Am I right to be mad or is it more of issue that I had with ex bfs pulling the same shit on me?

>>18620624
i bet that felt good

I think it's kind of cute that you would think I would try to get a commission by your favorite artist out of the blue, but sadly no. He's much too expensive, even if I could get a private commission from him.

But then you had to say this nonsense and I honestly don't know what to think of it:
>You're not getting me [artist name] art, right?
>[Wife's name] and I decided to agree on all new art.
>She's not thrilled at the prospect.

I don't know her at all. I can only piece together what I know from the bits you tell me. It doesn't sound like you both agreeing on putting art in your home. It sounds more like her being controlling and telling you that your idea of art doesn't deserve a spot on your walls. Because look, I've seen what you have on your walls already and most of it is boring shit that seems like something only she would like.

I don't know why this hypothetical nonsense is pissing me off so much. I'm not getting you anything and you assumed that I was and you got worried about it for no reason. Maybe I'm mad because of my idea of her. I think she's stubborn and overly controlling. I think she cherry picks what you should and shouldn't like. She convinces you that what you do like is shit and tells you that you don't know anything when you don't like something that she thinks that you should like.

Like jesus fuck dude, she tells you whether or not you are allowed to apply for a new job. You have to negotiate with her just to spend ONE evening with our D&D group out of the week. I can't even hang out with you unless she's not home. What am I supposed to think? Isn't that shit weird?

But maybe you like being this way. It sounds like a mild form of abuse, but maybe you like it. That's why you're married to her, right? I'm bad for assuming, but I feel like it's not my place to ask. And you haven't given me any chances to get to know her, and she's never been interested in getting to know any of us. I don't know. This sounds bad.

>>18620634
lmaoooooo im fucking dead mate relax

im fkin cryn here man you as boot made my night man

I wish I could go back in time..

>>18620516
>>18620545
>>18620574

I had to summarize because I was hitting the max character limit. Otherwise I would've gone on

>>18620634
this.

Bitch, will you just come talk to me? If I try to break the ice it will be awkward.

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I hope tomorrow my heart do not crazy for any girl, i need time to rethink and improve at so many things and im finally at the right place to do it

I just can't allow myself to get these feelings again at least not until i get some kind of closure or ending to the stories of at least one of the last 2 girls

it took me so long to fix what broke last year and im finally on the place where i need to be for my dream to start becoming true i really don't want this to get ruined just because my heart decides to start beating fast again i wish i could be better at controling my emotions but on the other hand if i was better at it mybe i wouldn't be in this nice place right now

im so alone

no one's ever going to fuck the lights out of me bc im too autistic despite not even being unattractive

feels bad man

i just wanna get fucked by someone attractive till i can't walk. Why is it so hard? People think it's easy when you're a woman but it's not when you're an autistic fuck.

I masturbate in girls clothes and am not quite sure if I'm actually ashamed of it or noté

>>18620659
Everybody does, but nobody ever will.

I'm sure there is a way for you to be happy without having to turn back time.

>>18619926
I just got out of a very short (2 months) e-relationship. It's so fucking stupid, it was dysfunctional as shit, we had arguments all the time and it clearly wasn't going to work. Yet I feel so empty. I know it shouldn't be but I can't get it off of my mind. I'll be honest, this was my first serious relationship, and the first time someone loved me. I miss her a lot. I know I need to move on and that it'll be hard, but I just feel despair right now.

>>18620732
It's still fucking easy for you, you fucking moron. Ask one of your male friends on dates or go kill yourself.

Are you okay? Are you sick?

>>18620819
>Are you okay? Are you sick?
Why not ask them directly?

>>18620824
Lost touch

>>18620835
How so, did they block you and move away?

I want you to message me NOW
...please, I want to talk with you.

>>18620840
Tell them that anon.

>>18620819
Sick as hell.

>>18620838
It's rare I see this person, and I don't have a way to contact them.

>>18620819
I have stomach nausea because of relationship stress and I can barely eat without throwing up
I feel like such a faggot

My boyfriend just bought me a PS4 for my birthday when I never wanted or asked for one. He proudly told me that is why he has been so short on money lately. The controller he got me didn't have a cover on one of the joysticks and the system is refurbished from Ebay. He didn't get me a game and his parents got me a Gamestop gift card. There is only one game I might play and I'm not that interested in it. I'm not into him lately and this shit kind of made me angry and sad. He doesn't get that a picnic in the park or a journal/pens or just putting effort/forethought into something romantic for me is all I want. I guess that's just not realistic, I'm vocal about this but I don't think he cares, why would he if I'm just going to put up with it

>>18620852
Terminal, curable, or medicine mouth for life?

Why THE FUCK in this world I EVER agreed to be friends with ex, being perfectly aware she'd go for cock carousel. I am so, so fucking retarded. Please, destroy my very being.

>>18620863
Sorry to hear anon, that's rough, stress will cause ulcers. Meditation is good for stress.

I took a week off work, SO had to leave town for business and I haven't slept well, 2 hrs here and hour there, thank the stars he gets home tonight, I've been a neurotic panic ridden so and so, he's bringing the green bogey death plague home so I hope he doesn't share it. I can't fight the icky icks off like I used too.

>>18620878
sounds like you have the worst situation of them all

>>18620867
Curable !

>>18620881
Nope, I can still work and I'm not on fire, I know a lot of people worse off, I've been maniac af add panic to the mix and I become a grenade. Life lesson always make lemonade even when some prick deity decides to piss in it.

>>18620891
Now scream yay, cross your fingers for a speedy recovery.

>>18620840
Initials

>>18620896
Thanks anon, fever is almost gone. It's funny that I take my health for granted although I should be caring about it all the time.

>>18620976
Cool beans feel better Oj and rest, I'm getting ready to take some supplements to prepare for the impeding war later. You only get one body, take better care of yourself, when you're older that neglect ends up wrecking havock on your system.

>>18620952
My guy wouldn't ask for the initials, he would just message me

>>18621012
Just message him. Why is that so hard?

>>18620840
That NOW comes across as being hostile, I'd be pretty darn scared to message you if I was your walking penis. I agree with the other anon, if you have a way to get ahold of him message him, the longer you wait the more of a chance all those letters will end up capitalized.

>>18620819
>>18620838
Lol

I don't know what do you think about me, I don't know if I can text you even just as a friend. I don't know if I should make a quick move or wait and see.

>>18621097
Just send them a text, waiting makes everything worse always.

>>18621012
My guy carries every flavor of cheese you could ever imagine. It's fucking insane. I bet he kicks the shit out of your guy. Your guy probably only has 1 or 2 different cheeses.

>>18620819
A half a decade ago, I would say that I am. Now, I figured that it's probably just the way I am.

>>18621097
I disagree with the other anon.

I believe that given adequate time, a solution to all problems can be found in one form or another.

The real question should be: Are you waiting for the heat death of the universe, or are you just going to go up to them and tell them that you like their face and shit. Both are valid solutions to this problem.

>>18619926
I just don't want to be alone anymore, got out of a relationship, she mentally abused me, only sometimes physical.
Feel like shit knowing I haven't even had the courage to put myself out there, the whole time she is on every internet dating site under the sun, really missing human contact today. Trying to be strong and not reach out to her, I know she might want to get back together. I know it's because I'm feeling low today that I am forgetting all the negative and just want to see her. I'm not really a catch, rated 5, which might as well be invisible to women. Wrestling with the thought of getting back with her for years or being alone, don't see other options

>>18620624
Get it out bro.
But I am not your person. That does sound like shit as well.

I want to put you on a leash and tell you to lift your hands so I can lick them.

>>18621102
How is it going to make it worse ?
>>18621145
I'm going with the second one but who knows when. I know I can't wait forever and it's harder everyday.

>>18621208
>How is it going to make it worse?
They'll be taken already if you wait too long.

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My crush is gonna dye her hair red. Red hair is like on a whole different boner level for me. I'm mostly asexual except for natural redheads and for this particular girl (I know it's weird). I'm afraid that seeing her with red hair is gonna give me a heart attack or make me jizz in my pants instantly.

>>18620864
He wants you to genuinely share an interest.
At some point you must have shown him interest in video games, and he wants to foster that to build a stronger bond with you. While a tad selfish, I wouldn't look at it as insensitive, all though it certainly could have been something romantic instead.

This is just a shot in the dark, as I don't know the whole story between you two.

I hate how my family keeps ridiculing only me all the time and it makes me want to murder them.

>>18620576
initials?

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How the fuck do you with something like this?
I wish I could ask you directly. You'd likely just say something sweet like you have been telling me.
We know so little about each other, but with every detail you tell me I become more and more enthralled by you. You're too good a person to be spending time with a POS like me.
God damn it, you are a wonderful person.
A part of me is scared that this only temporary, but still despite that fear, I'm glad that you enjoy my company. I enjoy yours as well, even when we are just sitting together with nothing to do. The silence may get awkward, but I enjoy it nonetheless.
If I could say this is love, I would, but it's too soon for that. Far too soon.

Looking back I can see what I did wrong. Now I don't know wether or not this affected your final judgement, but I know that I did wrong and I still think about you daily.

>>18619926
I had a great relationship with a girl
We were both really happy
Then I wasn't able to see her anymore because my parents were just a huge pain in my ass
I hardly saw her and she left me

I wish I just had what we had when we started not what we had when it ended

>be me
>20 years old
>moving for college in a few weeks
>attached to home and gf
>stressed out by all the things i need to do before i leave
>fighting with gf a lot recently because we're both really anxious and sad from my move
>psych is helping, but i cant schedule an appt and only talk on the phone because hes booked
>working a 5 day 8-5 work week
>for the past 2 nights ive woken up having a panic attack and super anxious
>started crying in my dream and woke up crying, i couldnt even tell for about 5 minutes that my dream was over
>coming down from drinking and high
>tired

I dont even know what to do at this point. I have to push myself so hard to not cry at work. Im mentally weak.

>>18621501
initials? god i wish this were about us

>>18621514
Tell them, this could be something they are waiting for.

>>18621569
Update: im crying in the bathroom at work from anxiety

If the feds don't give me more than 4 hours of work release a week imma join radical extremists and start killing federal officials. Civilians if need be.

There is NOT enough money in the world for everyone to be happy. 7.5 billion ppl, 70 trillion USD in the world. That means, if we're all equal, we only get $9301.90 per person. A year. You must buy a car,house, food, and pay all your bills for the year with this, not to mention gas, repairs, healthcare, and additional unseen expenses. that's a mere $775.159 a month or $4.60/h.

Before being diagnosed with brain cancer I was making 32.27/h (2007 prevailing wage job) working 50 hour weeks bringing home roughly 4300 a month.

Now, since no place will hire me for an amount that keeps food on the table. I'm forced to live off disability. Which is BS. if I am short $50 for medication or food, and borrow from someone, I get screwed. They see that as me not needing $50 so they subtract $50 from my check not once not twice but 3 times. So that $50 I reported borrowing costs me $200. Fucking bullshit.
I own a copy of the improvised munitions handbook and sever cook books. I'm ready to kill every fed. I see. Are you ready for me?

>>18621691
This is some radical islam shit going on here, i know your upset, but at least give minimal details so the board doesnt get shut down by the fbi

>>18621691
Relax and talk to someone who can pull some weight. Don't start killing feds -- taking people away from their families forever -- just because a few screwed you over. Chances are likely it isn't their personal choice and they're listening to someone with rank. There's other paths you can take. Talk to healthcare professionals about your medicine and needs. There must be low income opportunities, borderline free opportunities, due to your income you can take advantage of.

>>18621514
Tell them this. If I were them I'd want to hear it.

>>18621662
Let it out bro.
Sometimes we hold things in and try not to show it to those we love but emotions are a toxin. In small amounts they get you high, they make us feel good, sometimes bad, but it makes us feel. Too many, when we keep them in, cause us damage. Let them out.
Talk to your gf and reassure each other that this in the long run will be worth it. It sucks, but it has to be done. No one should stop you from your dreams. From your life. As much as you wouldn't want to stop her, I bet she doesn't want yours to end.
Talk it out, and breathe. Take it easy on yourself. We all overflow from time to time. Slow down and enjoy what have so far. You can do this anon, you have people that believe in you. If can't believe in yourself believe in them to keep you going.

>>18621514
There is no such thing as a final judgement. We all make mistakes, we just have to understand and accept them until we know enough to avoid them.

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Today was pretty stressful, but I got through it. Had to do some housekeeping stuff on campus, and with my social anxiety its pretty exhausting. Also had to drive the standard today. I'm not perfect at it so its nerve wracking whenever I'm behind the wheel. Also got my haircut, and their parking lot is on a slope but everything went fine.
But now I'm home, exhausted, still have some lingering anxiety. But at least I got through today. Tomorrow when classes start, it will be easier. Once I'm into the routine again it will be fine.

>>18621771
This actually helped me a lot, thank you so much.

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I dont really hang or talk to this girl that much anymore. We used to be great friends and most of my experience with women is with her. Shes kind of a bitch so i usually blow her off. She wants to get a drink with me later and i dont really wanna go. If dubs ill tell her im down. Any input?

I'm in a relationship with a chick I thought I clicked well with, until we started living together. Now I see she's a somewhat toxic person and we almost have nothing in common. I would've dumped her by now, problem is that we are currently staying in my parents house, who charge us rent (It's a fairly big house), and she isn't financially able to support herself. She also doesn't want to move back with her parents. We're both in our early twenties. I've begun thinking about seeing other women. I never before thought cheating would ever seem like a plausiable idea

hope everythings going well with you, S.

still don't know why you ghosted me like this though. I told you about the tough week I was having and my mind was all scattered and you just left me out there in the dark. I understand I guess to some degree but still closure would be nice.

Till next time I suppose if there ever is one.

All the best,

- T

How do I brush my teeth?

>>18621938
By thinking about geese.

>>18621711
I am relaxed, which is scary. I've called and talked to in person several people within the system. They all tell me ( and I quote) " you should be thankful you're getting anything at all". 5 years ago they sent me a back pay check explaining they were withholding money from me. It averaged to around $500 A MONTH being withheld over a 5 year period(this was 2012') When calling to sort out why my pay has not increased since then, I get told the same " feel lucky" spiel.
I've asked for more work hours, I get "I can't do that, you should feel lucky you get to work at all"...
I've talked with therapists and medical professionals outside my group of DR and in. Nada. My medication is not covered by my insurance so I have to pay out of pocket, eating into my food money.

If they are not gonna work to help me better what little life I have left, why not just send me the cyanide pills now?

I don't want life for free, I'm more than willing to work till I die. They won't give that to me.

Seriously, what do?

I fell in love with an ugly girl before seeing her in person. I tried so hard to get over it and become attracted to her but I can't deal with it. But at the same time every time I try to break up I feel sorry for her, then end up talking to her some more to feel better.

>>18621863
We all have hard times anon. I have said it many times here, separate yourself from you emotions. View yourself and your situation from a 3rd person perspective and you may see it's not as bad. Things seem harder to deal with when we are involved in them because out emotions cloud our logic and clarity. Try to breathe and slow down, our minds like to race when we have hard times. Pace yourself. Talk it out with your gf, not only to relieve each other, but to show trust. Listen to them as well, give them an outlet.

Things will be okay, not because we want to believe it, but because we will make it so.

How does it come across if you pointedly wait until you have a better job / live in a different place before reaching out to an ex ?

There is so much shit I want to get out of the way, but me being here and living the life I have been living is kind of a huge part of what made things sour between us in the first place. I'd hate to talk with my ex now if it transpired that I haven't actually moved forward like I said I was going to.

On the other hand, I don't want to look like a dog panting for approval. Perhaps I sound like one right now. In any case, I might have a new job soon and if I do it'll be a massive positive lifestyle change for me. I just can't stop having the fantasy that we catch up again under these different circumstances. Maybe the problem is that I want to prove to her that I could do it. That I wasn't built to simply waste away in this deadend shithole of a town, that it just took time, but I got there.

>>18622053
If my ex got I touch to show me that he's actually followed through with his plans and proven to himself that he could do better than being useless I'd be overjoyed. Things soured between us because while I worked my ass off, he sat on his wasting time.

>>18622053
This.
>>18622067
The problem is that you may lose them on that time it takes. They may move on and find someone else. If they are worth the trouble it means they are loyal, right? But if they move on, they will be loyal to someone else. The best you'll get is a pat on the back. If you're fine with that cool.
If not, you may have to reach out, them tell you want to talk. That they still mean something important to you, but that you also want ro make sure things are better laid out for a better future together.

You have to make your intentions known.
Or deal with possibility of loss.

>4 years behind on school
>no work experience
>no money
>no drivers license
>no redeeming qualities
On top of this I'm a fucking pedophile. I feel like I do not have a chance.

>>18622090
>dead social life
The one time I was actually invited to a social event my mother fucking called the people hosting the event asking what kind of event it was gonna be. And yes I still live with my parents obviously.

im so afraid of losing my dog and my best friend. im so scared im gonna fuck up in one way or another like i always do and lose them both. ive been through a hundred heartbreaks in the past year and a half i just cant take anymore. ive had suicidal thoughts just so that they could outlive me and not the other way around, even though i would never do that because that would just hurt them more than i could ever imagine. i never want to hurt them or anyone else, but i just fuck up with everything. im so afraid of losing the most important parts of my life. im afraid of saying something wrong and losing my best friend, and im afraid of coming home and seeing my dog dead. i had a traumatic experience when i was younger where i came home and my dog was dead. i relive this so often, im so afraid of it happening again. im dont really talk about this to anyone because its such a small thing but it had a huge effect on my entire life that i cant live a day without thinking about it. im so afraid of losing the ones i love and i feel so alone on this even though i know for a fact that im not. im sorry for being so soft right now. i dont like showing my vulnerability but i need to show it so much more. i have so many fears and anxietys that i dont ever talk about. i dont know why i fuck myself up like this.

>>18622053
Don't wait too long or they'll be gone.

I fear 9/11

>>18622067
That's good to hear. Although I wouldn't say that was the case at all. I worked my ass off every day for an office job in a tiny fledgling company that paid less than a supermarket wage, was too scared to ask for a payrise and very selective/picky about new jobs. As a result I had little money to spend and I was miserable all the time. I got a rise in the end, though I'm still underpaid for my skill level. Meanwhile she was a student with a zero-hours part-time job that she eventually was no longer needed for, so we were both pretty poor, I just had more work experience.

I'm still pretty sour at how easy she seemed to think it would be to find a new job, but I can understand it. I was a student once. I had no idea what it was like actually getting out there in the real world. If that sounds patronizing, then yeah I guess it is.

>>18622085
I'm not sure how I'd feel if she had found someone else. It would hurt, sure and obviously it would force me to re-evaluate my options, but I have this feeling that us getting back together would ultimately be a bad idea. Honestly we were always so much better at being friends than being lovers. I just feel bad about the shitty way we ended it, how overemotional I got, and I miss having someone to chat to about music and youtube and politics and all the stuff we had in common that none of my friends like.

I get sudden bursts of creativity and inspiration after masturbating. But my religion says I should not masturbate (I think) :/

>>18622159
What religion??

I live in a dorm room now. It's really unpleasant using my PC now when I can have a room full of people barge in at any given time with no warning if my roommate wants it. Hopefully this feeling goes away once things get settled.

>>18622166
Catholicism, Jesus said something that some people say it means "thinking about women sexually is adultery" and that's what I do when I fap, of course.

You should have protected me when I was a child. You should have cared more about your duties as a Mother than you did about having someone to "love" you. I loved you, I helped you, I took on the job of being my own parent so you could be comfortable. You are an enabler and that is sadder than the abusive men you love. You have no excuses for your choice to stick by people who are harmful to your children and yourself.

I hope one day you can heal and take back control of your life, but I won't be around for it. I made my own mistakes in life, I chose to stay because I thought it was the right thing. But now I see that you choose this sad life, and I am unwilling to be a part of it anymore. I'm sorry that means losing our relationship, I really am. I still love you, despite your choices.

my family keeps inviting me to do stuff. I love them but I dont like hanging out.
Im a sad old man and I prefer to just sit at home drink and practise my hobbys or sleep.

nobody is waiting for my depressing stories and whatnot, they want to joke around and have fun and Im not in that mood ever.

Id rather not be that negative influence to them. Im a failure and Ive learned to accept that, but I know others wont and they have questions, I dont have the energy nor do I want to explain myself so i rather just completely avoid it all

My question is how.

>>18622181
become an degenerate atheist, I promise it feels great eventually

I found my old journal that I barely used.

Its small steps but it feels kinda nice just writing about shit while listening to music/podcasts.

>>18622199
Well I used to be an atheist. Then recently I started going to this church because my mother was going, and also because of some QT there. And now after a few years I feel like Christianity kind of makes sense. Although I'm worried it might be just a mix of coincidence (when things go well after I pray, but not always), fear of the possibility of God existing, my Christian upbringing as a child, and the qt3.14. I also need some sort of answer beyond the Big Bang to explain the world, even if God doesn't make sense to science. I know there are other religions but this one is alright mostly, I also met many cool Christians that are my friends (and many weirdos too). I just feel too much guilt for what would be small stuff like fapping, now.
Did you manage to go from believing to not believing? That happened to me when I was 14 (I'm in my 20s now) but I guess the fact that I was raised a Catholic meant there's always a tiny bit of Catholic left in me that I wouldn't be able to fight against.

>>18622222
Yo nice digits anon.

>>18622117
it already happened, dimwit

>>18620240
I want a short bf. 5 feet of cuteness!

>>18621973
Is there something you can cut back on so you can afford your meds??

I need you.

>>18620240
I'm 5'5" woman and I have a fetish for short men! I've dated men who were 6'7" and married to 6'4" man...

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I wish you didn't push me away and would've given me a chance.

>>18622359
I pay rent, utilities minus water, a friend pays my phone bill, a neighbor let's me piggyback their Wi-Fi. I don't go out to eat nor go anywhere that requires an enterence fee. I only buy things when I'm required to, Generally when something breaks i replace it... If I can "afford to". Food is my only option, because with out my medication. I can't eat. Why buy food I won't be able to eat anyways?

>>18622131
Then focus on yourself for now. (2nd poster here)
That feeling you have, I know it all too well. I recently got out of a disastrous relationship. We loved each other, weren't in love with the people we became. Together we did nothing but weigh each other down. I miss her, but after a long time of thinking, I realized this was truly for the best.
For now take those feelings and good times and store them. They don't serve you now, cherish them as a part of you, but never use them as a crutch. Toxins my dude, that's all there are now.
Maybe things didn't end the way you wanted, but that doesn't mean you should ruin the future because your past didn't turn out the way you wanted it.
Who the fuck knows? Maybe in the future when you are both stronger you can even be friends. Maybe, but that's not important. You are.

Fix your life for yourself. Not for them, not to show them, no, for you anon.
She was just the catalyst, you make the reaction happen. If that makes sense.

Take some time for yourself, but away from the emotional self. See what you can find when you relax a little and make shit good for you.

I've pretty much given up on finding love. The love I thought I had for a long time was a complete lie. The love I thought I had turned into hate. What do you do? The only comfort I have is that I will not ever let that happen again. Why do we want this kind of love? I don't think it works. Maybe once it did, but it can't work now. I can't compete with the internet, video games, and T.V. shows. I wish the world would just come to an end soon and then it will all make sense. My life was never meant to be.

I know I need to just tell you to fuck off, block, and move on with my life but I can't. There is something special about you that I've never had with anyone else.

I'm going to focus on myself for right now, but I do hope we reconcile in the future.

>>18621705
I'm not religious, and I don't think violence is the only answer; however, its the quickest most effective way to express how I feel.

>>18622456
Initial?

I know "asking for a friend" cliche points the question to me but I am actually gf-less at the moment. What's with girls (and sometimes guys) who will have their facebook relationship information hidden (no relationship info to show), but their partner says they're dating them on their fb relationship info? Why do women do this?

>>18622541
Probably not who you're looking for but B.

>>18622456
I feel this exact way anon. But the person I have know for a really long time. Still what they did was inexcusable.

So my brother offered me to live, when I move out in January. My problem is that I really ought ot live on my own. Ta my brother's house I will not have a room of my own but I will have plenty of company and support, as I am going through a lot of self doubt and loathing. The third option is to go with my othet brother, who I feel less comfortable talking about my issues with because I don't think he would understand, of course that would be partially due to my communication problems. Waht should I do? I am very forgetful and clumsy (I once licked myself out of the house because I forgot the keys) I dont knowif I am ready to live in my own

As an intern, I've been paid for hours I haven't worked because my manager encouraged me to write down standardized hours.
Is this considered wage theft or a special type of salary? I get the impression my situation is unusual - never worked in a big company before.

>>18622564
Phew :(

>>18622571
It hurt's doesn't it?

He went from "Oh I'm so in love with you" "we should get an apartment together" to ghosting and not even giving me a phone call to end it like mature adults? He's an immature child who has no regards for anyone but himself.

I guess I'll just take this L and move on. Narcissistic personalities sure know how to draw someone in and cut them as soon as they get what they want.

>>18622571
What did they do?

I need to fix my sleeping schedule

My ex and I have not been a thing for two years. They are now engaged to someone. On the surface, they look happy. My ex doesn't deserve it. Their fiance doesn't deserve to be tethered to such a piece of shit. I was treated like shit. I was cheated on repeatedly until I discovered it was happening. My ex's friends (and family) continue to reach out to me, to keep the connection and friendship alive, and to bitch about the new partner. I'm so tired of it. I don't want to hear about their wedding, how much their friends would rather it was me, how boring they are, how politically backwards and infuriating, what a terrible human my ex is and so on. I dodged a bullet, I know. But fuck. My ex has only ever once acknowledged on a super minor surface level that they "were awful" to me and it was to someone who may never have told me without their own personal motive. My ex can't be bothered to actually apologize to me for the hurt they caused. Instead, we just run into each other in public while my ex pretends nothing ever happened while their partner just stands there and says zero words and gives me the stink eye.

He doesn't deserve to be happy. She deserves someone who isn't a piece of shit at his core.

>tfw you finally look at your Ex's facebook after a year apart, and she's been in a relationship for like 6 months.

It could be worse.

>>18622413
Have you thought about asking for more help?? I doubt your friends and family want to see you perish or your health decline

i hate myself for being a weak loser. i realise i should just take a deep breath and get the fuck on with it, but i don't want to. i want to wallow and spiral being afraid to do things for a bit longer.
really pathetic, its embarrassing why don't i stop.

It's been 3 months since I completely cut contact with my ex.
I was fine for a while, but this week I'm really depressed and I keep thinking about it.

She cheated on me and monkey-branched me with an arrogant wigger who sells drugs and wants to become a rapper.
I don't love her anymore (since she's clearly a fucking idiot) and I don't want her back, yet I can't move on.
I keep thinking about this whole situation and about what I'd say to her if she came back to me.

Why are you so important to me? I can't...

>>18619926
How could you do this to us after 3 long years. You told me you wanted to marry me, you said you wanted to have my children. And now what do you leave me with? Nothing, not a goodbye, no call, no text. How are you so cold? What the fuck did you become? You are a heartless bitch, I hope you fall into your old habits again. You've left me with nothing, no future, no independence, no money. But you've got it made because you're 20 years old and you still listen to everything your mom tells you even though she's the reason you're already in debt.

I have a big box of stuff my ex got me and picture but I don't want to ged if. I'm still not completely convinced that we are officially done, I just have a gust instant. Should I just hide it to wear it's out sight and out of mind

>>18622812
Yeah, hide it.
Once you've moved on, you can decide if you want to keep it or not.

>>18622006
Tell her the truth.
She'll be hurt, you'll feel guilty.

I can't sleep, I'm so pissed off at this whole situation.

okay, so i'm just writing this to make my feelings a little clearer to myself.
right now I'm on summer break and i'm feeling pretty empty and lonely, because i live alone and i don't have any real friends in this city to interact with. i moved here relatively recently and i am slow to make friends. i have acquaintances but we're not quite close enough yet to hang out all the time.
one of those acquaintances is a girl who is in a lot of my classes and also works at the same place i do. we've messaged each other quite a bit, mostly about work (shifts etc.) but with private stuff in between as well. I don't know her that well yet but we seem to have a lot in common and i think i like her. i feel like she probably kinda likes me too, since she's gone out of her way to be nice to me on several occasions and texts me first quite a bit, but i'm almost certain it's only platonic for her because she has a boyfriend and also she's 4 years older than me. Both of those things make me feel like it's actually completely unrealistic for me to get any closer to her. i think about her all the time but i don't know if i'm just lonely and like the attention she's giving me or if i'm actually into her. i feel like a lot of the time when i think about her i'm more obsessing about the concept of falling in love and being in a relationship than i am actually thinking about her as a real person, so that seems like a sign to me that it's not real. when i look at her pictures on facebook i feel like she's much prettier in real life but again maybe this is an indicator that i am romanticizing things and imagining stuff that isn't there. Also maybe she is actually kind of a boring person, but then again so am i so that doesn't really matter. but to be honest she's actually quite interesting, maybe just a little shy/introverted? but so am i so that would actually be a good match.

Well, i still don't know how to feel about this and the boredom/loneliness is making me obsess about it even more.

>>18620737
Nothing to be ashamed of senpai, I've done it before, it's just a fetish dude so get over it.

Dated slutty 16 year old for 3 years, and she matured into a really nice girl. But, she lied about her slutty days when we were still seriously dating, and I couldn't forgive her for them. I was a fresh 18 year old when we started dating, and it's of legal age where I'm at.

Basically she was fucking other guys, and sending nudes/sexting/webcamming while we were in the early stages of our relationship.

I mean relationship however, though because we had a serious conversation about taking the next step because I fell in love really quick with her at the time (a month or so in), and wanted us to be exclusive.

She apparently didn't catch the memo, and was doing shit behind my back for about 2 years of our relationship. We broke up, but swiftly got back together, and things just weren't the same for me. I let our life drag on miserably, where she would be really nice and sweet, like she always was, and really try and show her appreciation for me, and try to show that she's truly committed now, but I just couldn't get over it, I'd play it off, I'd coldly respond, and we didn't have much sex after that either, all from my end.

So, I don't really know where I'm going with this, but we've been broken up for a year now, she's dating some other guy who is honestly a downgrade from me. She's overall seem to kind of quieted down a bit, and maybe she does realize, and sincerely feel bad about what happened, and what she did.

We broke up a year ago, and it was really sad. She cried a lot, I was already kind of ready to let go, but I even had some tears too. She asked for a hug before I left, and I agreed.. It was nice in a weird way, but I couldn't wait to put one foot out the door and not look back.

My mom would tell me that they still talk, and that she really wants to try it again. But, I was so dismissive about the subject, I just didn't want to hear any of it at that time, it was like.. Days/Weeks after we first broke up.

Eventually she dropped it.. Then, my dad--

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Forward on onward.
I waited too long in this state. I'm sorry but I have to move on if you won't. Maybe you already have. You didn't tell me to wait, nor made it known that we were taking a temporary break. This past week, while not the most productive has been the most nourishing to my spirit. What made it so good? I stopped caring about you and trying to fix out shipwreck. The ship has long sunk. I see that now.
I wish you luck on all your envadors. I hope you do get something from our time together. Maybe even learned from the falling apart. I have. I have learned much about myself, you and how to deal with relationships a bit better.
Maybe we weren't meant to have lasted this long. Maybe, I don't know. Bit I do know I can't be like this forever. Can not stay feeling like shit over things I can't change, things that you won't let go, nor allow us to talk over.

I'm done being treated like the only guilty party in this. You were my co-captain on this voyage and our constant leak of communication and misunderstanding cost us much. More than it should have. We fucked up, you and I. So I'm taking my half of this mess to work on it and better myself. I'm doing this for me, I ran myself into the ground far too many times for you and for nothing for it.

I have made my choice, regardless of yours, I'm done. I know we have been talking since it happened, don't expect anymore responses. I'm done taking your time, don't wasting mine.

Goodbye.

>>18622959
My dad.. He asked me for the final verdict one night when we were hanging out, I told him it was over. That was maybe 4-months into the breakup, just guessing.

After that, it's been all quiet. I've kind of reconnected with friends, took a break from chasing girls, been slacking at my job, but kind of building myself up a bit outside of that. I lost a bunch of weight, and finally made a dentist appointment, which I needed to do desperately.

I still don't know where I'm going with this, I guess just finally seeing that she's in a relationship is giving me a bit of complete closure on our past relationship.

But, because she's so familiar, and the last girl I'd been with I can't help but imagine what would happen if we started a new relationship, as the new people we've become. I'm not the same I was last year, or the three years before that we were dating.

I can't help but think she's had some room to grow just the same, and I'm sure if I were to pursue her, she'd want me over the guy she's currently with.


It'd probably never work, it's probably not going to happen. But, her birthday is a few days away, and I kind of want to break the ice, but I really hoped she would first oddly.


I also ran into her at an intersection the other month, and we made eye contact and then she quickly looked away, and made a right on red in a semi-unsafe manner.

>>18622970
You know what you did, I know what I did. I'll always always love you, but you hurt me so much by expending all your energy getting attention from others. I asked you for so little, yet you got Everything from me.

>>18622859
What happened anon ?

i have a crippling fear of public/school shootings. when i hear about one happening/a threat gets made for my school, i will refuse to go in and i will have panic attacks all day about losing my loved ones. i had very bad recurring dreams for a while before the threat was made, therefore making it even worse. i dont know what this is called, but it prevents me from living my daily life.
i also have a very bad case of vermiphobia. if i think about maggots i will gag and lose a lot of sleep over it. i imagine them crawling on me and eating me alive....... i cant stand it. if i have any sort of wound i will need to put a bandaid on it right away or else i will feel as though maggots will come and eat me alive. i have so much fear

Fuck you boy

6 months ago I went on my brother's computer to print something while he was out of town and decided to snoop.

Found out that he's into some really fucked up shit and is enabled by his boyfriend.

I found out that he's an absolute slut and brags about it. Is into scat porn, there were pictures of him literally licking his own shit. Into beastiality, sending pictures of what I can only assume is illegal beastiaility porn back and forth with his boyfriend. There was a video of him licking a horses asshole. Worst part is that I found out he has been molesting the family dog for at least the past year and has been "working him up" to make our dog fuck him.

I decided to take this to the grave shortly after because it would completely destroy my family forever and he was leaving the next month and wouldn't be back for atleast a couple years, away from my dog.

I've cut most of my contact with him and keep it to a minimum. I plan on subtly cutting him out of my life over time and keeping any animal me or my family owns away from him.

I know a lot of people are going to say that I should say something but there's no doubt in my mind that anything I say will cause more harm than if I keep it a secret.

>>18622970
This post is killing me.

>>18622614
>Date person for four years who I have been best friends with for seven years
>monkey branched me (not intentionally for this one)
>cheated on me with their new friend who is a complete narcissist who I found out has been trying to exploit a wedge issue in our relationship since they met.
>promised that they still wanted me
>book an expensive get away with them they are excited for, so we can mend things
>week later breaks it off with me and say we can still be friends, and that they love this new friend
>we get in a small fight
>they tell me that my reaction to what happened and the break up is me guilt tripping them
>I go apeshit mad and we get in a massive fight
>they fake a suicide to make me panic (this is really fucked up because I have a severe stress disorder and before they broke up I was already experiencing really bad physical pain from my conversion disorder caused by work stress)
>I go to hospital with heart shit from stress but don't tell them
>I say I will give their friendship a chance
>they say we should go on that get away anyway as friends
>they don't act like a friend and are completely indifferent to me
>they blow off the get away at the last minute costing me more then $700 in cancellations
>they go on a get away with this new guy and book it a day after our get away would have finished
>day they left is the last day we talked to them because my doctor said the stress will outright kill me and I need a break

(1/2)

>>18623124
Normally I would drop someone like this, but we have known each other for a very long time and were best friends for the entire duration. Ontop of that they have really bad mental/psychological issues, they pretty much have the emotional intelligence of a young child and are very emotionally sensitive. Any minor conflict will cause them to become extremely depressed, on the flipside they are also capible of more care and love than anyone I know. The new medicine they started around the time this all happened is also known to make people with extreme emotional instability worse, which could possibly have hurt their judgement. Not to mention this other person is not a good person for an easy to impression person to talk to or get advice from. Because of that I know deep down there are more factors at play than, "They are a piece of shit, fuck em." They are seriously going to end up hurting themselves, and I do still love and care for them despite this because I am an idiot.

(2/2)

>>18622842
That's basically what i did. Multiple times. But I kept coming back hoping I would change and hurting her in the process.

>>18623036
I doubt I'm yours anon. Because I did try to this person everything. Yet they hardly talked when things got bad. Pretty much blamed me for not being psychic. All I wanted was some time together as a couple, but she couldn't. Reality is we were probably done a long time ago, but she could never say it.
>>18623078
How so anon?

>>18622812
This >18622833
I still have the very few things the last person I was with gifted me and although they are a shitty person, I haven't parted with the items. Keeping them tucked away in a box they sent me from Japan into the closet and looking at them reminds me of what red flags I need to be aware of in the future.

Consider hiding the photos in your phone (you can search online how to do this) and hiding any physical memories of them until you're healed enough to come to a clear decision. Those items will never rule you so why not keep them? Then again, you can't take them with you when you die so do what's best for you

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Writing ideas for videogames , going out , nothing makes me happy for more than a couple of minutes or a hour , I don't know anymore what to do. Im going to be considered an adult in a couple of years , and I don't know what the hell is going to happen to me , I have little to no time to recuperate my abandoned studies , I have zero friends for physiological support , I haven't feel real love , and the only relationship I ever had destroyed my life.

What's worse it's that I know nothing you guys can say will make things better , after all , all depends of me , and im just someone who feels physical by being simply alive , im a worthless , piece of trash
If im sincere , the only thing I want is being killed , things are not getting better , and the future day by day looks more and more darker. My insecurities are getting even more bad , my pronunciation is terrible (Im from Spain , the accent is horrendous in English) , and if I want to work in videogames I will need to speak it well , my anxiety is getting unpredictable , sometimes I feel normal in public , but other times I can't even look anyone in the eyes , and not to mention how bad my neck pain is getting , it is making being alive painful , I tried to correct it and I feel ashamed of how forward the angle of my neck it's , but everytime I end going to the same position.
I want to believe things are going to get better , but that's just not realistic at all

Have a good night /adv/.

Same guy , dear god , I can't even write right , with physiological I mean psychological , sorry about that

You're mine, even if you don't know it.

>>18622111
Calm down Abs.

My roommates a fucking slob. I tolerated it because she kept it mostly to her room, though she refused to give up any of her shit when she moved in from a significantly larger space and a lot of her junk stuck around in the common areas.
I ignored it when she whined about having bug problems and that's why she didn't want to open the windows instead of running our fucking electric bill through the roof, even though she keeps old fast food bags and dirty dishes all over her room, along side her pets food.
But now she's fucking brought lice into the damn house and I'm terrified she's never gonna be rid of the infestation because her room is permanently trashed.

I thank god I live on the lower level of the house and nobody should have gone into my room over the time I've been away, but fuck I'm very paranoid about getting fucking lice now. Now I've gotta completely flip my room upside down and wash fucking everything all right before classes start. Like I don't have enough bullshit.

I never get tired of you. I love the way you are. I'll never meet anyone like you again. Also I want you to fuck me.

>>18620167
You sound just like my boyfriend. The way you see yourself is not the same as others see you. You might think you're an unskilled asshole that no one would ever love but accept yourself and everything will be easier.
I also think I have nothing going on for me and I've always pretended to be someone I'm not, but there's always that one person who will see the best in you and try their best to make you see who you really are and don't ever let that person go, they are once in a lifetime.

>>18623415
The next time you see me, tell me.

Over this past month, I've grown very fond of you. You're so sweet and beautiful, red hair that drives me wild. Each time you touch me is like electricity, I yearn for your touch. I know you say you're married, but you can't deny that there is chemistry here. I want to take you into the bathroom at work and fill your pussy with my cum.

My girlfriend acts like such a slut (never does anything though), yet I remain respectful and turn down advances from her friends at parties.

Feel like flirting with one of her friends but IDK, it's a cunt-move and not sure if it's worth it. She's 17 so she has a lot of maturing to do. Maybe I should remain patient, or maybe she needs a bloody good lesson.

I hate the idea of me.
I hate that I have small tits while everyone's swooning over busy girls. The only thing I have good about me is my face and the fact that I can get dates just by mentioning that I am addicted to games when it's not even a good thing.
I don't want to change my looks, I just want someone to tell me that having small boobs isn't a big deal, and I know it isn't since my boyfriend loves them, but I can't help but die inside whenever I see a younger girl looking more mature than me. I can't stop thinking that eventually my boyfriend will leave me for someone who is 10x better looking than me, even though he says I'm his world.
I've been depressed ever since I was twelve, when the only person I truly cared for died in my arms.
When I finally opened up to the world, I had my best friend say shit about me resulting in me losing everything I worked for. My then boyfriend cheated on me multiple times because I was scared to have any form of intercourse since I'm really tight.
I lost all trust in everyone and locked myself into my room, losing myself in gaming till my mom decided to take my to a psychiatrist which said that I can't really be helped and that I can only soothe my mind with pills, but I just sank deeper. I stopped eating so I could look good, which kinda worked but fuck that I love food. I'm 5'4 and 100 pounds and I'm trying to fix myself to be a good and worthy person for the people that stuck with me.
All I want in life is for people to be happy with who I am. I want to be happy with who I am, but I just can't seem to ever get to it.

The guy I'm seeing thinks he's a piece of shit. I love him to pieces but he thinks he doesn't deserve happiness and that I deserve better than him. I don't know what to do. I can't bring up any minor qualms with the relationship because he'll hyper inflate it and blame himself for any discontent.

The relationship is lovely otherwise. I tell him everyday how much joy he gives me, and how delightful he is. I don't want to leave him or he to leave me because of how happy he makes me, but he doesn't believe the good I tell him. I don't know what to do. I hate seeing him so upset.

>>18623460
I absolutely lust for petite girls with small breasts, they turn me on more than anything else. Maybe it's because I'm 6ft. Sucking on those little titties make my cock drip with precum. You're perfect the way you are, I promise.

>>18623466
Why does he think he is a piece of shit? He must have specified a reason. Is it an objectively good reason that you can encourage him to fix, but might be too blinding by your feelings to see? Or is it something stupid like an obsession with a minor appearance flaw? Just saying someone is fine if it is a real flaw is harmful to them in the long run, instead you should encourage them to do their best to fix it if it is a real thing.

>>18623469
That actually made me feel nice. Thanks anon :')

>>18623472
He hurt me by keeping me in limbo for another girl he was interested in. He didn't know who to pick...he couldn't decide... so I waited for him for 3 months to become ready, and eventually he chose me. It was a shitty thing to do, but it doesn't make him a piece of shit, and I never blamed him for anything. He won't move on from it, and I'm afraid it'll ruin what we have now. I waited around for him BECAUSE he's such a rare guy. He's got a heart of gold.

>>18623481
Was he dating her before he met you? Or were both you and her single at the time?

>>18623489
He was seeing her, but she didn't want to become official with him...until he told her he was seeing me. That's when she decided she wanted him back, and he was caught in an emotional trap.

>>18623478
You're welcome darlin'.

I found your Instagram by accident the other day, it was fucking surreal. Reading through the dumb shit you post finally got me to move on. Then again, you've always come across terribly in photos and online, but maybe that's a good thing. Maybe if I don't see you in person again, I can move on completely.

>>18623489
He likely feels guilty because she may have been complacent at the pace things were going and didn't want to rush it. His hate is semi-justified, but I wouldn't say he is a bad person. Her perspective would be shitty too.

>>18623511
Eh. They were dating for 8 months, it wouldn't have been rushing it. And I'm aware that her perspective is shitty too. I can't convince him that she's not upset, and I wouldn't want to anyway. He's compassionate, I don't want to change that about him... but he torments himself with how he's hurt me and never hears the good I tell him. I've hurt, but I don't think he's a piece of shit for the circumstance we were in. I wouldn't think he was a piece of shit if he chose her either. I just wish he could believe me when I say he deserves a happy life.

I ruin the lives of everyone around me. No one should love me. I am garbage and I should've never been born.

>>18623524
You sound exactly like the guy I'm dating. I'm the post above you. I'm sure you're not a bad person, especially if you believe such extremes about yourself.

Today I whiteknighted on accident.

It was monday and I barely got enough sleep for work. I work in IT & we had a major DDoS attack so everyone was blowing us up. Almost perfect script I spent half weekend coding failed in first 4 lines of real world usage so I was pissed off by that. Then I got a stomach ache from the papa johns pizza my company bought for lunch.

Went home, a 30¢ transaction fee overdrafted one of my cards $30, then I realized I dropped another $30 drinking this weekend I needed to pay it off (charged another $3 atm fee).

Then I got on the bus and this drunk black dude with a 211 starts macking on these girls and making them really uncomfortable. At first they tried ignoring it, but eventually replied and asked him to quit. The girl across from them said the behavior was inappropriate and he threatened to deck her in the mouth for voicing the corcern, and eventually started threatening to fight the other chick who told him to him to stop.

Watching it I could feel my blood pressure rising as my biological father was a wifebeater and my mother raised me with zero tolerance for this sort of bullshit. I could feel my anger bottling but I contained it and got off at my stop.

But I could hear him getting louder with them as I got off, so I turned around, knocked on his window, and dropped my phone, backet, and jacket on the sidewalk.

At first he wasnt going to get off but he eventually did, and I ran at him and threw a punch at his face. He went for my abdomen and I got my arm around his neck in a choke. He grabbed my hair and pulled himself out of the choke, but I decked him before I let go. He still had my hair so I kneed his center thigh and gut with a threat of the balls if he continued to pull my hair like a bitch. He let go and we both took off, cops arrived within 2 minutes. Realized I dropped my wallet while fighting. went back. it was gone.

Lost $100 with cards and IDs Ive already ordered replacements for. A homie spotted me a hundo.

>>18623522
>They were dating for 8 months
That is more then a choice between two people, that is breaking off a relationship for someone new. If he slept with you before he told her it was over then he is justified in feeling bad honestly. No offense.

the storm is coming
wrath is upon you
vengeance won't be swift


forgive
don't forget

>>18623524
That is not true. The fact that you worry about what effect you have on others means you can't be that bad. I don't know what happened but don't be so harsh on yourself

Hi!

I've been attracted to you for a while now and I know I shouldn't feel this way at all (especially knowing both of our circumstances), but I really just can't help it.

And I know the best thing to do in this situation is to not engage, but we happen to get along quite well and so I'm in this situation where I'm keeping you close as a friend with zero hope of it progressing any further.

Again, I know it's not the best thing to do in this situation but... it's exciting. It's new to me and I'm mainly in it to experience these feelings.

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>mudslime girl keeps flirting with me
>not sure if she's actually interested or just fucking with me
>try to ignore her but at the same time can't really say anything about it
>it would obviously never work because i would never convert to any religion, especially that one
>overwhelming urge to fuck her into submission

>>18623556
It's fucking with my head. You know exactly what you're doing to me. You know I want you, I'm sure you can feel the chemistry we have.

>>18623545
To add to this, if that did happen and if that was what caused him to split with her for you. Then you are in for a very rough road ahead. Brace yourself for it just in case, but remain optimistic.

>>18623568
assuming the people here are talking about things relevant to you will only ruin your mental state more.

>>18623556
This feels like a projection of my own situation.

Curious, though, what are the circumstances?

>>18623588
It's interesting when people who most likely live more than 10 thousand km away from me ask me my initials. We probably don't even speak the same language, my anons...

>>18623588
It's cathartic, relax.

>>18623560
Well, at least your problem's easy to solve, kinda.
Mine's tougher.
>Latina girl is lowkey flirty for me
>not sure either
>just occasionally glance her way and shit
>it would obviously never work because I'm too white and too sane for her. If our worlds collide, who the fuck knows what'll happen.
>could be one of the best things ever or a living nightmare, or both
>overwhelming thirst for her grows day by day, not just for her body
>if I do, then I'll commit relationship seppuku
>her family is also higher up compared to my peasant ass, so they'll probably kill me first.

>>18623546
There is no storm....

How do you get someone to get help that won't go willingly?

My girlfriend is very clearly suffering from BPD and it sounds like it has caused major issues all her life. Previous psychiatrists have failed to diagnose her, I think because they focus on her nihilistic worldview more than, you know, her actual disorder. I need her to go back to therapy because she is bleeding me dry emotionally, but she has no faith that it will work due to previous failures and refuses to go. Is there anything I can do? She's currently very suicidal.

>>18623588 This board is free therapy, without a therapist telling you, you are not responsible for your actions. The great American blame game. I chose my own adventure and am left dealing with the consequences.

>>18623614
The consensus is that BPD can't be cured. It's basically female psychopathy. She can't feel remorse, regret, or empathy and those emotions are foundational to having a healthy and loving relationship.

I suppose moving on will never happen for me, I'll always watch over you wishing we were still together.
Killing off my feelings didn't work, just made me numb.

i stalked you again and now it hurts to see that you're doing better without me. i really would like to rip you apart, kill you, torture you. you don't deserve happiness, you're a horrible person who couldn't apologize properly for what you did.

you said that you were suicidal, i hope you relapse on that and actually kill yourself, i want to see you suffer, i want to see your family suffer and i want to see your friends suffer. you're human trash for abusing me all this time, seriously and the you expect me to be chill after even you admitted that you were an abusive piece of shit?

kill yourself, i really want to see you suffer, i want to see you lose everything like i did.

>>18623670
>wahhh im a little bitch and couldn't take control of my life and stand up for myselffffffffffff

>>18623593
We are both in long term relationships. I’m happy with my relationship, so to me it’s for the feeling of crushing on someone which I haven’t had in years.

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>Me cutie 19y/o in art school going out with a edgy dude
> meet this bara guy at friend party
>talk about castlevania/smt all night
>''ahah he cute I guess''
> break up with edge lord
> start hanging out with Convention friend, Cute bara guy come in
>First date Tell him I'm thirsty af after 2 week alone.
> He get super nervous and tell me he have big problem
>''Mhe I just want sex''
> Get in bed; super ready with cute outfit
> getting da bara dik *ho shit he thicc*
> fug for like half a hour; Ahahah you really doesn't orgasm ?
>He start crying and explain to me that he's super complexed about his dick and why he doesn't have fun in bed ?
>Awn he sweet I'll help him
>7 month with vanilla sex
> try to explain to him what is wrong
>doesn't understand and keep fapping everyday to porn
>My semen demon self starting to get thirsty
>Having daily sex dream of his friend
Fuck I don't want to cheat on him but I'm so tired of seeing him jerks off to porn. I feel like getting my revenge on something. idk why help. I'm not a bad person I just want to feel desire by someone.

>>18623670
There is a difference between angry venting over the loss of a major relationship, and being edgy. If you are over 20 (which I doubt), seek help. Your reaction is so ridiculous the only way it could make sense is if you are pretending to be someone else.

>>18623689
>spontaneously break up with someone because someone else you just met looked more attractive.
You might as well, you are a whore anyway and he would be better off.

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Thank you so much for the kind words anon(ette?). My entire life I was a fat fuck, and I think that this has emotionally screwed me up a bit. Since January I've lost fourty pounds, and started lifting. I've had a lot of people tell me I look good now, but I still have this self image of an awkward chubby kid. These past couple weeks I've been feeling a lot better though, and think I'm finally getting over this hangup, and this girl taking an interest in me has helped out a lot these issues. Thanks for the kind words, and god speed.

>>18623697
when a fucking rapists and thief is out there living a great life with no remorse for anything he did, then tell me if i'm not allowed of being mad that he is still ok.

he doesn't deserve happiness, he admitted to rape (not stealing, even though i know he did).

>>18623710
How is he a thief? Was this rape or, "rape?" You sound like you have a personality disorder by the way you are coming off is all. Explain what happened.

>>18623709
>>18623439

oops, meant to reply to you.

An honest man alone. I guess it's okay since this was my wish.

I'm done being fucking numb. I have no idea where to start other than the obvious shit like break the cycle, don't take it out on others, etc. I just know I am over it. I don't expect to forgive, and I don't think I can forget, but I am pretty sure that somehow I can feel something other than the urge to survive. Because living this way, isn't living at all.

Life isn't fair.

That motherfucker who should be tormented for all of eternity and then wiped from memory and existence will probably get out on bail and nothing will come from the court.

>>18623953
https://youtu.be/IiUbSAH7Ph8

Move forward day by day. Fucking do something that makes you hurt. Work out. Sleep in a different way. Wake up too early or late. Eat something painful or spicy. Comb your hair in a bad way. Switch the faucet to cold at the end of your shower. Smack the toothbrush before placing it so it splashes some paste on your favorite shirt. Add too much salt to something, too much pepper so you sneeze. Look at something too bright and blink. Punch yourself in the face.

You're not numb. You can do this.

>>18623954

Life isn't fair and death is the equalizer. Do what you will but the wheel will keep turning.

>>18623967
Thanks for the advice, tunes, and the laugh. I needed that. These feelings were born out of perpetual instability, I guess I just haven't pushed myself hard enough. Fuck, I don't know how hard I'm going to have to, at this point I'm borderline destroying myself just to feel anything, but fuck it, even if it puts me in a hospital, it's worth it, right? I can beat this or it beats me, no other way about it.

Guys the head of my penis hurts when I pee what should I do. It's been happening for the past 2 days.

I currently have OCD compulsion where I have to check something on facebook (my account is deactivated) but reactivating makes me very anxious. Is it better to fight thr compulsions with ocd or give into them? I know if I give into it, my anxiety will be relieved but I dont lile giving in because it makes compulsions worse

>>18624024

Perpetual instability is stupid. Think about it.

Don't put yourself in the hospital. You're not stupid. You're smart and your only opponent.

>>18624024
>>18624044

Things I'd like to add:

You will not fucking die. I don't want you to die. You're a stranger yet I want you to know you're of worth. Do not die. You'll make mistakes and want dirt, but know you're amazing. Do not die. Do not die.

I want to suck on your nipples and fondle your lil tits.

>>18623611
I'm rambling nonsense desu

how do you get a prostitute and avoid sting ops in America?

>>18623239
Lol

>>18624044
>>18624049
It's stupid, but it has been my life. Sometimes people do bad things and others have to bear the weight of it. I'm trying to make it better, really I am, but I'm well past the age where trying to get your shit together is acceptable. I'm still trying, harder than most can imagine, I'm even getting results worth the effort. I just don't feel much anymore. That's a part of how I've learned to cope. I've been trying to push myself through it, but it hasn't worked. I've been trying to hurt, just to feel something, been running until I start blacking out and not eating, nothing. You're right though, this is a bad plan. I guess a little support and being able to offer another advice at the start of what I know from experience is going to be a long road helped. I'm going to make myself eat something and pass out. Tomorrow is a new day and my stubborn ass needs to start looking for new solutions.Thanks for being there and offering some sound advice. You genuinely did some good tonight.

>>18623460
You sound exactly like the girl who rejected me. Same problems and all.

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>wake up
>Eat breakfast
>Eat lunch
>Eat dinner
>go to bed

I can only handle 1 more month of this cycle. My sanity is slowly being eaten away. Hopefully the Navy doesn't sit around with their thumb up their asses on my discharge papers

I'm starting senior year soon, (stayed back a year So 18) all my "friends" have left me for drugs and my girlfriend recently broke up with me. Parents divorced few years back. Both my brother and my sister couldn't give a fuck about me or each other and it has been tearing family apart for years, I can't remember the last time all three of us have had a conversation together. My siblings have a non-existent relationship with our father because once we became teenagers and things became a little bit difficult in raising us he found it easier to give up and recluse himself with work instead of repairing relationships with them. I'm the only one who has maintained relationship with him. My father decided against the will of the family to get a dog, me and my older brother have expressed to him that the family doesn't need or want a dog rn and that we don't have the resources to fully take care of it, as it is going to be me and my brother who take care of it. I want the family dynamic to improve but all I can see is a future where the dog is neglected and where the family is further strained by the stress.

Pt. 2. Telling this to my father made him very upset and he told me "u can stay and take care of the dog or u can get out". He made the choice for me resulting in him kicking me out and me staying with my mom for the remainder of the summer. Despite generally being an emotionally stable and happy person my whole life, an eating disorder as well as depression is starting to manifest itself. I'm regressing back into old nervous habits and there isn't anything I can do about it. I tried moving back in with my mom but unfortunately where she lives I am unable to go to school as the quality of education is lower compared to where my father lives. My mother is the only one who has retained a relationship with all of us and Is the only one my siblings still care for. I can't tell my mother about my eating disorder or she will blow it out of proportion and siblings will hate me for stressing her out, I can't talk to siblings because they will make fun of me and say I want attention, if I tell my father I doubt he will believe me, or if he does I doubt he will care. I don't really know what to do anymore, I'm starting to feel that I'm losing control over my life and happiness

I miss you, I miss us, I miss our friendship, you came into my life when I was at my lowest point. you were like the light that prevented me from going into darkness, if you can read this. can we start over or even just talk to each other again. I miss you so much words can't express the feelings I had when you decided to leave my life. the reason I said "can we forget what we talked about last night" was because I was afraid to lose you like I lost every other girl in my life. so please talk to me, we can work these problems out. I'm sorry I was a fool for falling in love with you.....

>>18624033
bump

>>18624179
I wouldn't recommend giving into your compulsions. It's deactivated. Nothing bad will come from keeping the account deactivated. Keep changing that to yourself while taking deep breaths for fifteen seconds. Your Facebook account does not control you. Nothing good will come of giving into your compulsion

>>18624177
Go on

>>18624208
Chanting*

I want you in my life. I want to grow and build with you.

>>18621893
I can somewhat relate to this as my girlfriend is moving in this month, and I'm a bit scared that our relationship will go down over time. We've been together for 5 years and I'm 20.

Have you talked with her about your feelings? I know this sounds too simple but sometimes you just have to tell her this, without fighting each other of course. I would never cheat though, just tell her you want to meet other girls.. Why try and hide it? You have nothing to lose if you don't love her.

>>18623460
Sounds like you don't trust your boyfriend, any reason to not believe him? Trust is something you and him have to work for, it's not easy.

Accepting yourself is also something you have to work for, do you really care that much about how people look or how tight their body parts are? Try and do something good in the world, try and help somebody, get yourself sorted out and set up some goals.

What helped me a lot is getting into philosophy, Nietzsche for example could help you working on yourself. If it's looks that you are not comfortable with find your own style or something, many people have problems with their looks, even girls with big breasts, it's pretty common and shouldn't be a big deal.

Seems like you'll never accept that somebody is happy with you, either because you're not happy with yourself or you don't trust people.

Don't get me wrong, there are many reasons not to trust people, that's why it'd be nice if your boyfriend could earn it if you are still together, but you'd have to tell him about your problem and that you want to earn his trust too.

I'd start with being honest, lying is toxic, not only because of the other person and morality, it will sicken you into not knowing what you truly believe. Take your insecurities and make them your strength, it's human and it's great, overcoming them is also a great feeling, work for it.

>>18624208
thanks anon, I have given into my compulsions lately and while it does relieve the anxiety temporarily, it only comes back stronger when something else I think about on facebook enters my mind

The idea of you riding me is quite enjoyable !

To the Jewish ex-friend who believes in redpilling, friendzone and all that sort of bullcrap that a lot of alt-right assholes believe in

I hope now you realize your virtual "friends" who believe in those stupid philosophies actually want you dead. No matter how white you may look, you're still Jewish and they still hate you.

I was trying to bring you to reason for your own good. But you're on your own now, amigo. Hope the inevitable existential crisis (assuming you're smart enough to have one) shapes you into a better person.

P.S.: I know you access 4chan. I just don't know if you'll read this thread.

I can't fucking believe you sometimes. I'm leaving for basic in a week, but you can't stop fucking drawing for a few minutes to hang out with me. I know how much you love your art, but you're my boyfriend, it shouldn't be that tough of a choice. I give you everything you could possibly want and more, but you can't afford to take a little bit of time out of your day to be with me before I leave, because MUH ART
I swear to god, I don't want to hear another word from you until you promise this art deal is done and actually mean it this time.

>>18624119

You're trying to better yourself and at any age any sane person will respect that. I can't say much about numbness other than I've felt it going forward in situations. The mind is strange. Take care of yourself.

>>18623703
The edge lord was abusive and it took 3 month to break up with him after getting knock out by him in a bar.
sorry forgot big detail

>>18619926
Here I come Davey, give me good news you know knob head.

I'm sorry I fell in love with you H....

>>18624552
This feel and initial, so much this.

I feel like I'm going to kill myself in 20 or 30 years only because I don't want my friends and family to be sad of my passing I have Asperger's I'm smart I understand a lot quickly but because of the abuse I endured as a kid I've gone through therapy I've done everything I can and yet I can't seem to pull up out of it though this could just be a day where it all just her just kind of overwhelmed yet so for those of you who feel like you want to end it all I understand

Woke up
Want to make love with you
If only

>>18624613
Can u cum over you

I am the absolute worst when it comes to making friends. I smile and try to be friendly, but I just can't seem to bridge the gap with other people.

>>18624238
I don't trust him because he lied about everything at the start of our relationship. He used to casually go through cam girls and porn while I was around and this was after I lost my virginity to him. He is a better boyfriend now since I don't bottle things up like I used to and I make sure he knows what bothers me and he does the same, but there's always that thought that he's cheated on me and I know he has but I don't have proof.
I've tried talking to him about this but he always takes it extremely personally and he starts feeling bad and avoids the subject, so I can't really do much but give up on that no matter how it makes me feel.
The rest are just problems that have built up for ages and they won't be that easy to take care of, but I'm trying.

>>18624613
Soon enough

>>18624122
Lmao could you tell me your initials?

>>18624177
Get lost. There's no fixing what you've done, and tried to do.

>>18624026
STD testing.

Im sorry you failed at suicide , I should have told you 3 Aleves weren't enough to overdose on

>>18624719
Did he beat you or cheat on you? If so fuck him. Otherwise I think everyone deserves the chance to be heard.

>>18624727
Welcome to the world of organ damage.

>>18624727
>3 aleves
I couldn't off myself with most of a bottle of hard ass prescription pills, what makes you think three aleves would do shit? Your attempt doesn't sound serious at all, but your liver hates you now.

>>18624748
It wasn't me it was a friend when I was in highschool , she was pretty chubby also she tried to hang herself but the ceiling fan fell down

>>18624762
Lmao

>>18624711
Are you an A by any chance?

I'm 19 and I work at chipotle, I'm close to getting manager but I know it won't make me happy , Im emotional detached and feel nothing for anyone except my ex who told me she has no more romantic feelings for me anymore. I can't go to college because I don't get financial aid and my parents don't want to help pay for it , honestly my life hasn't gone anywhere since graduation and I don't know what to do with my life. I feel like a fuck up. I tried killing myself once and the gun jammed when I pulled the trigger. I don't believe in god but maybe that was a sign.

>>18624775
My last name starts with an A but I guess that doesn't count.

>>18620043
It's best you bring up what happened that night because she might have feelings for you wether you do or not but end the end sometime you best friends become the one you fall in love with. Take a chance while you have it. I let my chance slip and now she's dating a fat guy and he's literally making her become something way worse than she could have been and as he ex best friend it hurts me to see her get dragged down with this bum

I got feeling for the slut I was banging and now can't get over her. It was just suppose to be meaningless sex, damnit.

Just want some help.
I recently have started getting over a lengthy break up. She keeps contacting me, but I have come to realize nothing good can come from it or us trying again( this would be like time number 4 or 5, which even that is indicative of what a shit show our relationship was). I have to let go, she told me that she didn't know what she wanted out of life, but quite frankly did, but things didn't work out.
Would it be bad to just shut down on this person after they pretty much did the same?
Also, when you start getting feelings for another person, do you still think of an ex? Is this nornal?

>>18624708
Lol
It would be nice.

>>18624721
I'm virgin

I hurt you, so I have no right to feel angry or unhappy towards you not communicating with me. I should give you all the time you need. If you don't want to see/talk to me it's completely understandable and I should move on. Maybe I just regret what I did, and that makes me feel unhappy, but there was reason to what I did. Maybe I just miss you.

>>18625074
What did you do to that person?

>>18625074
Initials anon?

Going back to college after summer break is tough for me. I'm having trouble adjusting to academia once again. Not to mention I have no friends and am painfully shy. I've been here all day and I haven't had a conversation with a single person. This loneliness is killing me, but it will die down once I get used to everything again.

>>18625074
I miss you too but you chose not to maintain something special. Miss me however much you like, I want nothing more to do with you.

>>18625117
You're not that person you dumb neckbeard.

>>18625074
I broke up with her after she tried her hardest to make me not do so, and at a time that she needed me.

>>18625089
D.P.

>>18625155
Woops, this was meant to quote >>18625087

YOU FUCKED UP
BIG
TIME
WRONG WORDS TO SAY OR JOKE ABOUT

You are the worst type of liar. Your messiah complex blinds you to who you really are, but the only one you need to save is yourself. I wish you hope, healing and happiness, but you'll never hear from me again.

File: 4L_FZwB34Xi.jpg (57KB, 469x469px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 469x469px

i browsed ifunny 2 years ago

My boss really hates me and I hate his guts, I can't take it anymore. oh the abuse.

'If "prayer" really "changes", and for the better, why are priests still pedos, and pedos still around?
If "god" is real, why can't you show proof?
If Jesus wasn't just some schizophrenic guy who needed to bevmedicated in a time where there were no shrinks, why can't it be proven?' ~my 11 yr old daughter when her mom had 'the talk' with her.

Was gonna text you but remembered I deleted your number. Oh well.


Found my old journal. I have so many ideas and thoughts that I have no way to channel them and just spend hours upon hours writing and rambling about shit.

it feels healthy, though.

>>18625369
>'If "prayer" really "changes", and for the better, why are priests still pedos, and pedos still around?
Prayer has no power other than an act of faith where you create more intimacy with God. God of course knows everything you might want before you even ask and He may provide if it's His will.

Priests are not perfect, they are prone to sin like any other person, and these who are pedos might not even really believe in God, they're just taking advantage of their position

>If "god" is real, why can't you show proof?
There's many reasons for this. First of all, theology is not like science, we don't work with empirical proof. We're similar to philosophy, where we make abstractions after observing the empirical world, however, differently from philosophy, we believe that God enlightens us in this process and so we can be 100% assured of some of our abstractions. You really need to understand epistemology before you go around asking for "proof".

Then, you have the theological answer. Proof exists, but it resides in faith. That sounds counter-intuitive but it makes sense when you try. Seek and you shall find, ask and you shall receive, knock and the door shall be opened to you. Seek faith and you will obtain it.

>If Jesus wasn't just some schizophrenic guy who needed to bevmedicated in a time where there were no shrinks, why can't it be proven?'
I've never seen a schizophrenic man debate and refute the wisest men alive at very early ages, pull off miracles that were registered in several different books and documents, show clear signs of empathy towards others (schizophrenic people don't really feel empathy) and among other things

I know that it's "cool" to ask for empirical proof. It's what scientology has taught us. But you're like little babies when it comes to real knowledge. Read some Plate, Aristotle, Kant and Hegel to understand from where rational knowledge derives. Understand what logic is and the tools that logic employs, like rationality.

>>18625426
woop, post got too big, continuing:

Read some Plate, Aristotle, Kant and Hegel to understand from where rational knowledge derives. Understand what logic is and the tools that logic employs, like rationality. Reading these you will also understand your human limitations, especially after reading Kant and Hegel. Then read the authors of theology, like St. Thomas Aquinas or St. Augustine to understand the principles of theology and how it approaches logic with faith instead of rationality.

If you read Kant you will also understand the limitations of rationality and why faith is necessary to obtain knowledge. Rationality can't even obtain a priori knowledge differently from faith.

Atheists are prone to be nihilists. If you are an atheist and you are not a nihilist then you are ignorant (I don't mean this in an insulting way) since the natural progression, after realizing that your mind is limited and can't make synthetic a priori abstractions from the empirical world, and after remembering that there is no God, is to realize that there is no a priori value to anything in this world, therefore there is no meaning to anything, and, ultimately, that we are all free.

Of course, realizing this should make you go insane. It is natural. If you are not going insane from this realization then you do not fully understand it. Such is the fate of atheists who actually study philosophy. It sounds grim but I find it sort of admirable even though they are wrong.

Theists, of course, can find a priori knowledge in God.

Now stop behaving like your 11 year-old daughter, you are an adult, you should be able to acknowledge how gigantic this problem is and how foolish it is to simply say "wheres proof". Go study.

>>18625369
God is real. Nothing can move without being set in motion. The outward expansion from the dawn of creation A.K.A The Big Bang proves this.

>>18625462
>type a 4000 characters long essay on epistemology and nihilism
>right after that see this
all effort wasted

>>18625407
Facebook message?

>>18625466
Lmao, cry more you fucking self-fellating pretentious fedora wearing neckbeard piece of shit. Bet you're still a virgin, pussy.

>>18625472
>knowing the most basic authors of western philosophy and theology is being a "fedora neckbeard"
You don't even know what that expression means, do you

All the girls I've dated and slept with told me to keep silent because it would hurt their reputation. What's so shameful about being with me?

>>18625476
Kek, virgin confirmed.
Go jerk off while you cry yourself to sleep fag

>>18625486
Adolescent confirmed. Shouldn't you be in school right now? I bet your mother still packs your lunch.

>>18625472
>>18625486
Retard

>>18625505
>>18625522
>virgin beta cuck LITERALLY shaking while trying to hold back the tears

Literally howling with laughter at your pathetic life.
Don't you have some hugging pillows to hump while you memorise edgy Nietzsche excerpts that you think will make you seem smart on the internet?
Pathetic neckbeard.

>>18625534
Not the guy, but if you need help for something one day I'll punch you in the face instead.

>>18625407
Releasing rambles is a good thing, I personally think had I not had writing and music I would be a coffin bunny

You love each other and with every step I won't let it not be true

>>18625539
>beta cuck neckbeard having a literql meltdown

LOL

>>18625671
I mean if that's how you help people then I assume you want your legs cuttoff because you're the chad king that is bored with his problems being too easy to overcome.

not been getting on with my gf lately, keep bickering over silly things, that then escalate into a full blown argument.

had another argument after she came back off vacation about ghosting one of my texts.

then found out my dad's been diagnosed with cancer. told her, she said so sorry to hear that blah blah blah

haven't heard off her since last night. when she's upset about something really bad that's happened to her, i'll always make the extra effort to get in touch and ask her if she's ok. fucking pissing me off, i don't think she wants to be with me anymore.

would just appreciate a short call or text.

I feel better

Letting you go, and finally saying fuck it.
I've been trying to fix us for months, really for years. I placed way too much effort, maybe I was too heavy handed in my direct approach to finding solutions.
I honestly believed that if we talked out our problems we could have fixed some, if not most, of them. But, you would break down, or have nothing to say. You were simply a passenger in our relationship. Not sure how you expected things to work with out your input, but I'm done racking my brain over why things failed. I know why now, we weren't right for each other and it was one sided as fuck.

No matter how we changed and tried, we just didn't work well together.
You would ignore any conversations with me that were about us, you simply skipped over and just small talked. That's not what I want. If we couldn't get it right after 10 years, then it's better to cut our loses and move on.
I deleted all the texts, all the messages, once I get home from work, deleting all those videos we made.
If you wanted space I think you would have told me so. You never did. I understand you want to focus on your life, that's fine. If we still had a chance it could have been done as a team, but that's not what you want. You and I want different things. I think if we communicated better we could have seen all the flaws. The more I think about it, the more I see that we both loved the ideas our younger selves represented for each other, but in practice we didn't love each other. We crippled each other in different ways because we didn't know how to work together.
I didn't listen, you didn't speak up. We fucked up, and had been for years now. Neither side wanted to be the one hurting the other. We were both weak and instead of growing as people together, we grew apart as immature kids. We were simply wearing big people shoes as we played dysfunctional family.

So, I'm doing something I should have done years ago. Completing the end of our chapter. Good luck and goodbye.

I broke sobriety to drink instead of eat again.

>>18625440
Faith is belief without proof, thetefor there can't not be proof in faith. Don't be a faggot.

So here's the thing growing up girls would either

>Laugh at me
>Ignore me
>Use me to do shit for them
>Tell me that I have to keep our interactions secret by fear of having their reputations destroyed
>That they would be humiliated if someone knew they had sex with me
>Would use me as a kleenex when the guy who they are interested in isnt available
>When I finally got a girlfriend she was underage and I had to say yes to everything and never do anything sexual or otherwise I'd en dup in jail.

is it a good reason to be jaded?

Fuck this life. I enjoyed work, I was trying to improve my life. And in the course of 3 weeks I get fucked over.

>I enjoyed my job. Now Work is promoting me. I was up for it until after I signed the new job classification and they bait and switched my hours, the raise I was supposed to get and the title of lead.
>Lost my only friend I had
>Found out the girl I liked was lying and leading me on.

Since I have nothing going for me I'm going to tell my job I am declining my position. If they don't accept that I'll give my two weeks and they can fire me then if they want. I'll go back to being a worthless neet shut in again. This life's fucked.

There are many types of love. Most of the time we end up with the love classified as unconditional. We care for another person with all of our being, we sacrifice ourselves for their feelings, we may claw each other's eyeballs but we're quick to give in and mend our loved ones. The rarest seems to be that love where your brains cylinders are fired in a perfect tune. Thoughts are shared and expanded on, and it doesn't matter if the person is not with you, they have carved an indent in your soul. The cosmos dictates such strange things but feelings remain there locked up tight and hidden from the world.

Why do people take photos of me when I'm not looking?

Like, what the fuck? Am I so hideous to get this treatment or is someone lowkey thirsty for me?

Either way, it's creeping me the fuck out and it annoys me.

I did the right thing today. I made sure someone got to safety and stood in between them and someone who looked pretty bogus (but maybe that's not why they were crying, who knows?). Obviously everyone will hate the shit out of me for it. I can type it here but this site being what it is it will probably try to fuck me over too :/ I can tell the police. I probably will, but since when did they ever help me? It will probably make them more prejudice against me.

This world is crazy like this.

But why?

No one has ever made me as happy as you do. I love you. I wish the situation were different... I just want to hug you so much.

I'm so tired of living a life dominated by a single mistake. Yes, I get it already, I should have known what I want to do before I turned 25. But I didn't. Graduated at fucking 31. Ever since then, I've been repeatedly passed over for every position I've actually wanted to bother with, and had to stil with underpaid bullshit and goddamn retail. I have no talents to make up for it, no particular skills to take advantage of in order to get paid remotely well. I'm barely fucking sustaining myself on the garbage wages and welfare.

I'm just so fucking sick of it. Nobody, not even a fucking therapist, had a solution for this beyond 'hurr don't think about it'. You fucking try that. I don't see you failing at life because your past self was dumb. You think it's so fucking easy to accept your entire future will be garbage because you were dumb for a few years? Even ceasing to be dumb didn't fucking make up for it. So I graduate with good scores, and what did that get me? Fucking nothing, because either they've got 22s out the ass lining up for entry-level jobs, or people my age with ten fucking years of experience. Why WOULD they hire me? I ain't even fucking mad at them, just the fact somehow this one mistake in my life I can't make up for no matter what I do.

I CAN'T just accept being paid peanuts and always being behind, for the rest of my goddamn life. So what's even left? Fucking suicide?

Cause if that's it, I mean fuck, I got a gun right here, just waiting.

Goddamn.

>>18624741
Nah, just an enormous manchild that doesn't know when to give up.

>>18624122
That you, sad little Christopher?

>>18626453
Maria?

>>18626453
So basically he did nothing wrong, and you are pissy because he cares about you and the relationship.

>>18626501
No "relationship" involved. lel

>>18626514
>I miss you, I miss us, I miss our friendship
Oh, you were just friends. Never mind carry on. That said, leading people on is shitty.

>>18626525
There was no leading on involved either. He was a sad beta with a thirst like no other, put me on a pedastal. Used to try to use his sexual attraction towards me as leverage, as he was my manager. Kept trying to get me to break up with my boyfriend of now 10 years.

>>18626538
Should have dropped him asap, but fuck him then.

>>18626550
Did you read? We weren't in a relationship, he was just thirsty, and happened to be my boss.
We were not "involved" in any way. He confused our work "friendship" and caught feelings.

>>18626561
I did, and I meant drop him from your life completely.

>>18626538

>he was a beta with a thirst like no other, put me on a pedestal, tried to get me to break up with boyfriend.
>good reasons for leading on him
>I am better than him anyway

Seems that shitty people attract each other

starving myself is way easier than taking time out of my day to "exurcize" and i don't like food that much anyway i'm gonna do it. i don't care if i die earlier i'm a useless piece of shit anyway.

would it surprise you that a straight male wrote this.

>>18626677
Just do keto...

>>18626686
i work two jobs and have a girlfriend who would probably beat me if she knew about this.
i don't have time for whatever special diet you have in mind.
yes i know about metabolism, i eat a tiny bit every few hours.

I think I fucked up a job interview today. The tech guy loved me, said my code was great, but I am just a fucking social spastic bag of nerves and it pains me so much that I can't just fucking speak sometimes. Seriously one of the most awkward things I've ever done. Not even difficult questions, just total mental paralysis on my end that I feel bad for making them endure. Fuck.