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Hi guys, I am 31 and one and a half year ago I lost my job. I still live with my parents. I dropped out of University at 22, from that point on I had jobs every now and then, never finding something I was capable of carrying out. Even If I have always had a mild depression, I've had some girls and a long, meaningful relationship with a wonderful woman, ended 3 years ago. Since then, I wasn't able to go after the first date. But still my desire to have a fulfilling life with a healthy body, a job, a place where to live on my own, sex or, better, a girlfriend, and hobbies, passion, isn't dead at all. Thing is that I acted in my past so that, now, I'm unfit for achieving anything. Not saying I was a lazy fuck. I did everything that was in my power according to my psychological resources at the moment, with little results. Now I'm in a shitty place, totally unsatisfied. I'm willing to start over but I realized that to do so I need time and focus. I must discard the illusion that I could actually get lucky and obtain something now: I only must to postpone, by at least 5-10 years, the moment when I will actually be able to reach something. Problem is that I am naturally willing to definitely discard social and sexual life for these future years. I feel like I'm giving up and making space for something more worthy. I'm depressed because I did not want to get to the point where I'm negatively selecting things so fundamental, but my inner change is leading me. I'll be doing 18/24, 7/7, active job searching and, when I will find the job, I'll have to invest my free time in specializing myself. Private courses or again University, with a different attitude.
How would you cope with the fact that you feel like an inept, because nothing from your present empower you?
How would you cope with the fact that on average the social life for 30yos is a natural, well integrated part of their life, and gives them strength for their other activities, while for you is expendable by now?
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>>18619525
Bumping for interest.
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>>18619742
OP here, thank you
Bumping, going to bed (here is 03:25), and hoping to find some ideas later.
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>>18619525
Just do what you love anon-kun, I know you'll achieve everything you put your mind to, just believe in yourself.
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>>18619525
ok first off, start doing as many off jobs as you can. Save up some money until you think you can live for a few months in the cheapest apartment you can find. At the same time look around for some actual jobs BUT NOTHING IN THW FOOD INDUSTRY, trust me that's a dead end road. That's what I did at least to get out of my parents house and get my life on track
Oh also, stop saying I'm sorry and swap it out with thank you (ie. 'I'm sorry for being annoying' to 'thank you for listening'). That practically cured a good bit of my depression I think it's the mindset change
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>>18620317
I know that's not what you asked for but fixing your shit is better than 'coping' with it
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31 is not old.
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>>18620317
Thank you for answering and for the good pieces of advice. I wasn't planning on moving out so fast but probably it's the best choice. Don't mind for what I asked for, basically I am confused because I don't know if it is normal to decide to work this hard and throw into the trashbin your desire to have a social life to reach other goals.
>>18620468
Well maybe I'm not "old" like a 50yo would be, but I'm quite old to look back and make a first evaluation about my life. And it doesn't feel good
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