I (male) got sexually assaulted by a female at a club

>>18618936
You're not being stupid.

>>18618936
Go to the cops. They can investigate for you and get that bitch. Cameras, witnesses, etc. Cops are professionals when it comes to this.

Plus you will have the legal system on your side.

>>18618936

Okay.

I'm glad that we could share in your personal diary entry for today.

>>18618958
Thanks, I'm feeling like fuckin crying or some shit it's so weird

>>18618964
Yeah, this isn't the best place for this but I didn't know where else to go. Sorry.

>mates
Either bong or roo
Either way you'll be arrested and charged with rape for letting a drunk girl kiss you without your consent

>>18618936
Fuck I said "my friend" and I meant "told me to make out with her friend".

>>18618936
>Am I just being stupid here?
To pretend that we'll believe that story? Yes. Very.

>>18619004
Are you joking? Why would I lie about that shit? I am genuinely properly traumatised by it and I wouldn't make something up like sexual assault.

>>18618936
Sounds like assault to me. But I don't have much sympathy, life is like this every day for women. People are shit anon get used to it.

>>18619027
Mhmm, I suppose. I'll be alright in a bit.

>>18619020
> Male
> Forced by a drunk female
Dear Penthouse Letters: Today I baited an Internet site called 4chan

>>18619037
Yea you will be. Most women have been through things ten times as worse. Welcome to the world buddy.

My friend just texted me this morning saying she was assaulted and that they filmed it without her consent. Shit like this happens all the time.

>>18619045
I'm sorry you think there are no men in the world attractive enough for women make the first move on them.

I mean, if you went to a club you might be surprised, I had 3 girls grind that night. It's not that uncommon to happen.

>>18619049
Ah fuck, sorry to hear about your friend. I think it's good to hear shared experiences, it's very isolating when you think you're the only one.

>>18619053
Well regardless it wasn't your fault and yea it was wrong. But... best thing is just to pick up and continue your life.

>>18619057
Yeah, thanks for talking to me, it's nice to hear some genuine advice.

It's really sadistic to write a post like this on /adv

>>18619072
In what way?

Nah OP, this behavior is enfuriating and people typically don't understand why. The issue isn't that someone did x or y with you (in this case making out) that you didn't want. Or that it didn't feel good or that she wasn't pretty or whatever else.
The issue is that you made it clear that you did not want to, and they shat all over your boundaries and made it abundantly clear that what you did or did not want - even when concerning your own damn body - was entirely irrelevant to them. It is incredibly disrespectful, like the biggest psychological middle finger.

For what it's worth, I am assuming this happened recently, but the memories will fade and you will feel better about it in some time. However this is entirely unacceptable and nothing changes that. For future instances, your best bet is to rub in their face what they are really doing or trying to do. "You are making me uncomfortable." "This is harrassment." "You are being really creepy." People are not used to being called out on crossing lines regularly so this will likely catch them off guard and throw them off. Godspeed.

>>18619076
Thank you, this is great advice. This is exactly what I thought. I will make it clearer next time, and not stand up for that shit. Thanks again.

>>18619074

look at the permavirgins post and tell me

>>18619083
For the record, I did not mean to imply in any way that you were not assertive enough about saying no. Just that actually breaking down for them what they are doing will often work on people who are too thick, drunk or douchey to accept a refusal in the first place. Especially for women who are not used to considering that their advances can also be very much unwelcome, spelling it out can sadly be necessary.
You're welcome, keep in mind that you actually experienced the reality and don't let any inevitable comments about this supposedly being nice get to you. Lived experience and an abstract idea can be worlds apart.

>>18619027
>what happened to you doesn't matter because you are a man

dropped

>>18619104
Ok, that makes more sense. People don't like facing the facts.

And yeah, I was worried that I would get some stupid posts (you can see a few) about how "it didn't happen" or "it doesn't matter", but I knew I'd get at least one which is extremely helpful like yours has been. Thanks again.

>>18619101
So I shouldn't ask for support with something that is traumatising just because it involves sex?

>>18619110
That's not what it says faggot. this shit happens to women all the time and we move on with our lives cuz we learn early that life is shit, people break our boundaries, and there's nothing you can do about it.

>>18619135
That guy (>>18619110) isn't OP btw

>>18618936

Ignore the dumbasses in this thread and go to the cops with this shit. At the very least, talk to the bar owner so those people aren't welcome there anymore. You're not being stupid, you were harassed/assaulted

>>18619121
Yeah, exactly. A lot of people who pull shady stuff like this rely on people either cutting them slack or not daring to speak up. Basically on you feeling more awkward about being imposed upon than them feeling awkward for pushing themselves on you. So you've got to push back and make THEM uncomfortable. Whether that means saying "you're standing too close to me" stone faced, or "do you not know what no means" or "it's creepy how forceful you're being". Your best bet is that they suddenly start to doubt themselves or sober up a bit, but even if this doesn't happen there's a chance that they just don't want to attract a scene or let other people hear about it. Or their ego is so bruised that they are no longer interested anyway. Just make sure to not go so far that it can reflect badly on you in turn. The best is if you stay very calm, very firm and stick to the facts of what they are doing. It is scary at first but easier when you feel very strongly for yourself that you are standing up for yourself and being in the right. Allow yourself to get disrespected like this a lot (whether it's about harassment or people using you in other ways) and it will become impossible to still respect yourself. You are the gatekeeper of your own boundaries and anyone taking you seriously starts with you taking yourself seriously. You're very welcome and I hope this proves useful to you to help avoid situations like this in the future.

>>18619154
Man this is such good advice, I will take this in to consideration. I'm just turned 18 recently so I'm new to the "clubbing" scene and this stuff is not known to me. I enjoy the attention of girls obviously, but only when asked for:)

>>18619208
Of course, it's pretty much the human condition to like most things in some situations but not in others. And as I said in the first post, someone blatantly not caring about what you want is incredibly demeaning to begin with. You don't owe anyone an explanation for why you are interested in it sometimes (or with some girls) and not other times (or with others). You have the right to say yes or no depending on what you want at that moment and enforce accordingly - they want something from you, after all! It's a learning process but very useful because there will be many situations in life where you have to push back to not be walked all over.

>>18619267
Yeah, and forced situations usually don't sit right. I will definitely be using this, thank you!

File: Imagehandsomemoe.jpg (117KB, 450x559px) Image search: [Google]

117KB, 450x559px

Forget what the idiots replying to you say, you should go to the police. That asshole invaded your personal space that you established was yours and physically came unto you. If you sue her you might be able to make some good money too. The police will figure it out. They probably have cameras and shit for cases like this and of course they'll help you even if you're a man.

>>18619298
lol at Handsome Moe. I will think about it, this is the UK so suing isn't really a big thing. Thanks.

>>18619298
Dude, I'm not necessarily against going to the police but you realize that most cases of actual rape or drugging people for sexual abuse don't even get solved, right? IF there's cameras they will show a girl running up to OP and kissing him. That's hardly concrete proof and even IF they can find this girl it will be his word against hers (or hers and her friends' against his and his friends'). Besides the chance that cops would do nothing with this to begin with (because it's "only" kissing and yes, because OP is a man) is huge. If you honestly believe what you wrote here you're painfully naïve.

>>18619309
I agree with this, don't think the police can do anything. It's not a "big deal" as some people are saying, certainly not big enough for anything to come of it.

>>18619309
I was assaulted in my sleep by my friends boyfriend. i brought DNA evidence and they threw it out the window. Cops don't give a fuck, and a lot of them are rapists their selves. OP just get over it. Yes it was assault, but it was just a kiss. Be thankful it could have been much worse. At least you learned next time it happens you can call the bitch out or smack her or something.

>>18619135
>not what it says faggot
>I don't have much sympathy

Whatever you say, kiddo.