Life without Meds

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I'm standing at a crossroad and want to hear some thoughts on the direction I can go. I'm bipolar and today is the first day I'm off pretty much all my meds. I'm 24 and have been on meds on and off since I was 15.

None of them have ever helped me and I've found being involved socially, exercising and a consistent schedule work much better for me. But I suffer more from the depression side of bipolar so it is tough for me to maintain these things, partially out of habit of not doing them and partially because of the depression.

The only pill that's ever made me feel *normal* was xanax. I really feel great when I'm on it, but I've had numerous doctors give me their opinion on my why it's not a good long-term treatment (tolerance build up, it's addictive, it's sedating).

So my choice now is to try to beat the depression on my own now that I'm off the pills or go back to a different, hopefully better psychiatrist who will actually treat for the depression or maybe put me on a benzo