hi /adv/. my biggest fear in life is that ill never be able to

>>18617312
That's normal. I was pretty much the same way up until I hit my late 20's and met my now fiance.

I wouldn't stress about it. If you meet someone it's good but if you worry about hitting life milestones on a timeline you're setting yourself up for failure.

Plus as a guy you're not going to be judged for being 30 and single and childless like a woman would be.

>>18617344
I understand that it's not as bad for a guy as it is for a woman, but it still worries me. All of my brothers got married and finished their degrees before they hit their 30's. I'm just sitting here, never had a girlfriend, dropped out of school (not by choice, I had to work to help my dad pay his hospital bills so I couldn't study and end up failing. I feel like I'm a failure at everything and it just keeps me up at night knowing that my dad probably thinks I'm a major disappointment in just about everything.

Sorry for being so whiny but I have nobody else to share this with.

>>18617312
>21

You're a literal child, and I don't mean that as an insult, but you won't be able to see it for a few more years, and in the meantime you have all the time in the world to find a wife.

>it's hard nowadays

It's really no harder than it ever has been to find a romantic partner.

>>18617381
>you're a literal child

Yeah I know and it just makes me even more worried knowing that I'm too young and have like zero experience with this, so I'll probably fuck it up somehow when I finally get the chance. Plus I always had depression, I need to take antidepressants in order to keep my emotions in check or I get too hyper and start throwing fits all over the place. I tried killing myself by swallowing shampoo but I just ended up giving myself diarrheal for 1 week. Teah I'm retarded and cringey, I can't imagine any girl would actually want to be with a loser like me.

>>18617375
It sounds to me like you need more than just a woman in your life. You need purpose more than anything else, a sense of direction.

You said that you dropped out of school? Did you ever get a GED? Graduating high school is a must in today's society, bud. That sounds like a good first step to me.

After that, figure out what you want to do in life. There are plenty of women out there for you to marry, it's finding the right one that's hard. If you don't have goals or desires that compliment eachother, your life will be hell. Do you want kids? Where would you like to live? Do you know what kind of life style you want to live? What level of income will you need before you can get these things?

These are important questions you need to figure out before you start trying to find a girl. And you're young man, don't sorry so much about the girl and worry about yourself. If you were 30 and in your situation, if start to worry, but you have time to change and plan ahead. Sit down with your brothers or Dad, and ask these questions. If you think they're going in a direction you would like to go, get advice from them. They know you better than we do.

>>18617406
I have a high school diploma, but I dropped out of the psychology school I was in. I wanted to help out little kids with autism and learning disabilities cause I thought it would cure my depression. I was doing well until I got overloaded by like 10 books I had to study in a 4 month period and I had to work to help my dad do some kind of surgery for his heart. Meanwhile my brothers are just there doing absolutely nothing, saying "oh I'm sorry I wish we could help but we need to take care of our families" and I got the entire burden of taking care of my dad ( which I really don't mind I love my dad, but it stopped me from passing). I'm sick and tired of today's generation of women, I find them to be vapid, materialistic too much and they treat me like garbage. Yes I want kids, my dream is to just have a wife who loves me and a bunch of kids that's all. Lifestyle and income, I haven't really planned that far ahead yet. If I mostly just want a woman. When I was in high school there was this douchebag who failed all of his classes but it looked like he didn't have a care in the world just because he had a girlfriend. I really want that, I'm tired of being alone, I feel like having a woman's shoulder to lean on whenever I'm sad will help ease a lot of my pain. I just want to feel good mainly.

>>18617456
Ah, I see. Well depending on how far you got into debt, dropping out isn't as bad as you might think. Psychology is a very saturated market these days.

I'm sorry to hear about your dad and his situation. Very tough spot to be in.

As I said, plan ahead for the future income and wants. You need to have your finances in order if you want to support a family. Not to mention, if you make yourself more valuable in that way, finding a girl will be easier.

As for the kid in high school part: of course he didn't have anything to worry about, he was 17 and living it up. The girlfriend didn't make him happy, he was happy beforehand. If anything the girl nagging him made his life a little worse haha. Women do complicate life, and if you're not careful they can destroy you.

And on top of all this, you are the man in the relationship. It's your job to hold her up when she leans on you, not the other way around. Women hate having to emotionally support a male. It sounds to me like you think a girlfriend can fix your life. Obviously, you want to get your degree and pursue a career. You're lonely and buttfucked by life, having to take care of your dad. I do get that, and I've been there for a time.

The one thing you can do is put your priorities in line. No matter what it takes, pursue your goals. If you don't have the testicles to go all the way, make peace with that and move on. This shit may sound harsh, but it's the truth. You're 21 and a man, and I'm surprised no one has told you these things before.

>>18617488
Thanks for the encouragement, but as you said there are still many things I need to consider before I get to the girl part. I don't wanna marry as soon as possible though, I wanna get to know a girl first for a real long time (preferably till I'm done with college as I'm reapplying).

>he was happy beforehand

How come he got so sad for weeks when she left him him then? It looked to me like he depended on her, if he was truly happy beforehand then he wouldn't have gotten sad over her no?

I also don't agree, I think your image of masculinity of how the man should handle everything and the woman should just be there wishing for everything while I do all of it is acting like a beta cuckold. I think a good relationship is when the girl and man actually work together but I'm a virgin so what do I know.

I realize money, family and job is the priority, but what's the point of doing it all when I have nobody to celebrate it with? To tell you the truth I don't care so much about the achievements it just the feeling. All I care about is my dads approval and having a girl to share my achievements with. Maybe I'm thinking like a high schooler too much idk.

>>18617569
No problem, bud.

He was sad because they broke up. It's natural. He was feeling the loss and was coping with the fact he won't get to be around her like he used to. What you're describing is an unhealthy need. Something that only grows after years of being in a committed relationship.

You misunderstand my meaning. I'm not saying be her slave and cater to her every whim. I'm saying that you need to be the strong one, and you need to be the leader as a man. Leaders don't get the luxury of being honest all the time. There will be times when you just want to give up, cry, and bitch and moan about everything. You don't get to do that. You have to keep up the appearance that everything is fine. I'm not saying let her walk on you, not at all. You lead, you set boundaries and let your girl know what's acceptable and whats not. I'm saying, when money's tight and you're feeling anxiety, you tell your wife everything is fine.

That's a very good outlook to have. You should always want to share what you have with an amazing girl. It's pretty much one of the better things in life. Buy it's not your whole life. You need to have your own thing, whatever that is. Your girl will have her career and hobbies as well, and together you get to invite eachother into your lives. That's why you need to focus on yourself first. If you rush into a relationship without a sense of self, you'll associate that unhealthy need with the first girl you become intimate with.

>>18617614
>>18617569

I actually think it's supposed to work the same way? I meant the leaning on each other part. Men are just human. Sure they have to be tough and be the shoulder to cry on but there are times when they will break down, be weak, and need someone, you know? No matter how gay that sounds. I just think relationships are supposed to be a teamwork because once you have your own family, you and your partner will need to work together to meet ends and raise your children better. That being said, other dude is right that you probably want to establish yourself first instead of worrying about not having a gf. I guess worry when you are still not dating anyone by the time you reach late 20s. But really if there's no one, so be it. It's better to be alone than be stuck with someone that drives you insane.