Meds for Bipolar Depression

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If anyone has had success beating depression with meds or otherwise or is bipolar, please reply to this thread.

I'm 24 and I've been depressed since I was 12 years old. Sometimes it can be on and off, but for the majority of the time I feel depressed. When I'm not depressed I stop overthinking and I can connect with people and feel happy.

I've had a long history of taking meds, it started when I was 15 years old. For some reason instead of putting me on an anti-depressant, 2 different psychiatrist put me on anti-psychotics when I wasn't diagnosed bipolar or schizophrenic. I ended up having my first manic episode when I was 20 years old and ended up being Bipolar type 1, though.

Currently my psychiatrist has me on 2 MG Rexulti (anti-psychotic), 1600 MG Neurontin (anti-convulsant used to "treat anxiety" - it doesn't do shit) and 600 MG trileptal (mood stabilizer, doesn't do shit). She basically told me there was nothing she could do to help me last time I saw her and that I don't even need to be on meds, but I am severely depressed 80% of my life.

I had a prescription for a benzodiazepine called Klonopin for a bit and I never felt so right in my entire life, but I was taken off of it when I switched psychiatrists. The only time I've ever felt consistently good in my life was when I was having a manic episode or on a benzo, which is sad I realize.

I've tried exercise (I do this every day of the week currently), diet, meditation, therapy: none of it has helped my horrible depression. For a long time I've hated taking the pills, so I started tapering off of them recently. I got off risperidone, but at this point I realize my depression is likely here to stay and if there's any meds I can take as a bipolar person to treat the depression and anxiety side of the mental illness I'm fine with it.

Every day I suffer through depression is a day of my life I have lost.