BPD?

>>18616004
>but the only bad person with BPD are people who know what they have and refuse to try and get help.

And these people with BPD are FAR more common than people like you who seek help and therapy and medication, and try to get better. Of course people who dislike people with BPD have had their horrible experiences with people unlike you. You're not like them, and you have my sympathy and support in getting better with such an awful illness. Don't let the hateful words get to you, since they're not aimed at you at all, but towards those others who refuse to seek help and keep hurting people.

>>18616004
Shitty behaviour aside, this is the reason:

>despite spending a little less than half my life constantly in and out of hospitals and clinics and on and off ten different types of medication.

Most people won't choose for their partner and the parent of their future child someone who is very mentally unstable and needs a lot of hospitalization and medical help. It's just too problematic, it makes life difficult, it makes the relationship difficult. Don't get me wrong, it's admirable that you are trying to get all the help you need and improve your life. But at the same time your illness makes you a shitty partner in one way or another. "Normal" people struggle a lot with daily life shit and being in a relationship with a special needs person usually is simply not feasible.

>>18616064
But people with severe depression, bipolar disorder, and other mental illnesses go through the same thing, and yet people with BPD are always attacked online, not just on 4chan. Not to mention that BPD manifests itself in so many ways - no one has ever guessed that something was wrong with me other than maybe general depression because I constantly hide it. And because of the flac BPD specifically gets online I'm too afraid to tell people and get close to people

Because BPD comes with negatives that arouse strong feelings in people. Its typical descriptions embody the stereotypical trope of a vain, manipulative and unfaithful woman who just lives for attention, thrives on drama and finds it hard to believe that anyone other than herself has emotions.

Yes autism or bipolar disorder or whatever other disorder also come with negative behavior or qualities that can be hard for the environment. But if you ask people how they feel about someone finding it extremely hard to understand social interaction, they will have a more rational and less knee jerk emotional response than if you ask them how they feel about serial cheaters. With BPD traits you hit both personal trauma/fear and everyday pet peeves that make many people see red (like causing drama).

All you can really do is try your best to prove the real people in your surroundings wrong, you should care most about their opinion anyway. Yes it sucks to be burdened with the least popular of disorders even within having mental issues, but the best you can do is understand where the response is coming from (being burned or afraid to get burned in real life by people - borderliners or not - that show this kind of behavior) to take it less personally.

>>18616004
>>18616004
>Why the [fudge do many people] hate people with BPD?
You proceeded to answer your own question.

>Why are people so mean to those who struggle with this illness?
People are fallible. The world isn't fair. Many animals have a tendency towards cruelty when bothered, or simply whenever it's convenient.

>I don't get it.
You don't understand why people don't sympathize with you? It's because they are not you.

I'm diagnosed BPD, by the way. If you're going to be intensely anything, try being intensely rational. It's better than being on an emotional roller coaster that relies on the patience of other people.

>Maybe I'm a bad person.
I don't think blame is useful here. That being said, you said you overdose six times, which I assume was on purpose? Terrible actions taken against yourself are maybe better than terrible actions taken against others, but they're not inexcusable.

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck. I hope you stop waiting for people to be as nice as you believe they should be, because believing the world should and ought to be a certain way just causes a distorted view.

Oh, and all of this, "I hate myself and I want to die," stuff is extremely corny. If you wholly and truly hated yourself, you wouldn't want people to be nice to you. If you wholly and truly wanted to be dead, you would be dead. I'm not trying to invalidate how you feel - I'm just checking your logic here.

Part of the drama is out of your control, because of the intense emotions you experience, but some extent of your problem is indulging it. Stop indulging the drama, it will grow smaller, you will indulge it less, and so on.

>>18616106
>off my meds
>smooth saline
unusual pun

>>18616004
the people that are "mean" to you are mostly comprised of people whose lives have been fucked over by one of you. i am included in this. i dont hate you, i dont wish you ill, but i would do everything in my power to avoid you and people like you

>>18616004
Because the nature of the illness makes most sufferers a manipulative, abusive, volatile emotion nuke. People hate narcissists and histrionics for the same reasons.

>>18616096
I definitely don't expect people to be nice to me, but it's frustrating to have a mental illness that is treated with so much more hostility compared to more "mainstream" illnesses like depression and stuff. Nice was misleading, and I apologize.

>>18616004
>why do people hate impulsive people that make no effort to control themselves and then blame their bad choices on a medical boogyman
Gee, I wonder why.

Gee, I wonder why.

Protip: THIS ISNT CANCER, YOU ARE DOING IT TO YOURSELF

Until you learn to regulate your own emotions and keep them from spilling onto everyone else (like you've done with this thread), no one will like or respect you.


It's almost like you wanted rude replies... Really fires the wires.

Shame on all of you for replying. This is a blatant cry for attention and acceptance, something OP will have to learn to give herself.

>>18616104
My dude - there are a lot of people on this website that want to die. The fact they're still alive doesn't mean they don't want to die - it means that they are either too cowardly to try, their attempts didn't work, or they have someone/something keeping them here. It doesn't mean they want to die any less.

Also, if actually did have BPD you would know that it takes years of therapy to "stop indulging in drama" - which I have now done. Nice b8 bro

>>18616117
I deleted and added more, here: >>18616104. I'm not trying to say you're wrong or anything. Your perceptions are valid and correct, far as I can see. I'm just trying to give you advice.

Eventually you'll get tired of fronting as a stable person, and all of your effort will go into actually becoming a stable person, making you more stable than average (except in personal relationships, which will be triggering and immensely difficult). You can get started now, or you can get started after midlife. It's up to you. Maybe you are already on your way. There's no way to tell over 4chan.

If you can get a parent or Social Security to provide you with the resources necessary for housing, while you go to school or something, the lack of external pressure will give you a better overall life experience, and more opportunity to grow. Being young is hard for everyone in this social climate.

>It's frustrating to have a mental illness that is treated with so much more hostility compare to more "mainstream" illnesses like depression and stuff.
They don't even know how people with depression and anxiey are unique, like those with Schizophrenia, Borderline, Bipolar etc. People with depression definitely struggle with misery, maybe more than you and me, but they are not mentally ill in the straight-jacket sense.

The truth is that what people think does not matter in and of itself. Just worry about what your interviewer thinks, or what your loved ones think. Don't sweat some judgemental pricks. In fact, withhold the fact you have Borderline - randoms are always passing unqualified judgement, and it just becomes disruptive.

>>18616104
This, a thousand times this. Being rational saved my life. I wouldn't have died, I just would have been very miserable. Now I'm on track to becoming a surgeon. I sleep alone and it feels GOOD. I feel whole. Emotional regulation is GOAT.

>>18616158
>all of your effort will go into actually becoming a stable person, making you more stable than average (except in personal relationships, which will be triggering and immensely difficult

It's all subjective really, and we all have different experiences with BPD. Relationships have been a very easy part for me to sort, once I had a comprehensive understanding of how my feelings should (or could) be. I feel grounded, safe, sure in myself, even with difficult interpersonal things and men. They may not always be there, they may not always care, and yet I've got an unshakable sense of security because I'll always be there for me. It sometimes helps to think of yourself in two parts- the emotional side, and the logical. You know the logical will always be there for you. So even when you feel unsure, you can become sure by knowing your 'wisest self' is there.

>>18616170
>>18616180
I'm glad you guys are doing well. Always sleep alone or with someone worth sleeping next to.

>>18616179
We are two different posters.
>>18616180
>>18616170
>>18616132
>>18616137
These are all me.

You've woefully misread my post. I'm in training to become an MD, and am extremely familiar with all aspects of mental health, having studied them, and having worked thru huge issues from age 18-present. I'm saying that BPD, in particular, is a personality disorder, not a disease. A -disease- implies spreading, it implies a direct medical cause (infection, deficiencies, syndromes or disorders, something actually tangibly medical). There is no Borderline Personality Virus. It's a learned cluster of symptoms that can be unlearned, as evidenced by the several anons in this thread discussing their recovery and entrance into normalcy and decades of research. This brain scan thing is difficult for people who havent taken neurophysiology to understand; but the gist of it is that when we do behaviors repeatedly, paths form in the brain. Physical paths, which cement behavior. If you spend your entire life using your brain in one way, it will grow to accommodate it. A

>>18616195
had to go ahead and post, the damn quick reply window greyed out and I couldn't type more.

Anyway, BPD patients are more often than not victims of child abuse. Child abuse is well known to cause observable physical brain damage, not just from impact but from chronic stress. The implication of this is that the brain is more likely to be a reflection of our internal state/life experience than it is to have a causal relationship with these behaviors. That's not to say there are no predisposing genetic factors; only that a baby isn't doomed to BPD- it's a result of environment. Unfortunately, people untrained in medicine see the fMRI scans and say 'wow, an anatomical reason, this must be a causal relationship' and relatively reputable sources like the Times propagate this meme due to lack of understanding.

>>18616195
Oh that's an odd coincidence. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

>>18616004
Neurotypical people tend to lack any real understanding of what it's like to struggle with your mental health. They have no idea how hard it is. Since BPD is one of those disorders that affect your relationships, they see your behavior as a personal slight rather than a symptom of your condition and they will hate you for it. It's a lack of empathy.

That being said, you can change how people perceive you if you work really hard on managing your disorder. It may take a while to discover the right coping mechanisms, but once you do, life will get easier. Also, not all people will hate you for BPD. My bf has it and it hasn't stopped me from loving him. Good luck, anon. It's in your hands.

>>18616138
That's not bait, I believe he genuinely means it. It's good advice if you take it non-literally and try to infer what he meant and what he's trying to impart- which is that all BPD problems stem from a lack of rationality. That's the key- to make a conscious decision to override your emotions and deliberately grow as a person. All recovery happens at a different pace- 'years of therapy' for one can be 'three weeks in the woods with a self help book' for another. For me, it happened very quickly. As soon as it clo

>>18616227
a-anon???

>>18616004

It was like 150 years ago people commonly thought the stomach was the seat of the soul and when you ate something your soul absorbed its life essence because magic.

Then a doctor found a civil war soldier who was shot in the stomach and lived without many complications except pain and a tunnel to a hole in his stomach. He was the first to study digestion.

He was called crazy. Now everyone knows your stomach isnt magic, the soul isnt there, and when you eat stuff acid and enzymes break it down and you absorb the nutrients to use in your body.

Thats where people are with brains now. People seem to think its a magical wonderous thing that does anything, and most of all people are bias towards themselves and think themselves to be completely in control of themselves (they arent) and frown on any shit quality they see in others to reaffirm they have their shit together.

The science exists, its known its electrical impulses, habits, literal ones and zeros and logic gates like a computer (neurons, theyre on or off), and it hasnt been widely accepted yet.

You live in a time where some people get it. Ignore the ones who dont. I know people with bpd and very supportive partners. You can have it too.

But a side pro tip: everyones pretty fucked up, just others are better at hiding it, and like i said, have no problem shitting all over you because your flaws are more surface..

>>18616213
but they're cursed with being normies, so that's good

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>>18616229
anon was kill

>>18616227
Ugh grey box again.
As soon as I realized what I was doing, I was able to stop all BPD behavior (quit smoking, getting upset, drinking, doing drugs, doing reckless things like not wearing a helmet or going to the hood, and became very mellowed out and non-attached in my relationship, became sure of myself and my actions) within just weeks. It was a radical shift, all of which came about because I had a fundamental internal change whereupon I realized how crazy I was and how awful it felt to be that neurotic. People with BPD usually mellow out or die by 40, but it's very possible to overcome it within a matter of days if you experience that same kind of internal shift that I did.

>>18616238
>not wearing a helmet
u fuckin crazy bish

>>18616242
Kek. Calling underrated post in advance.

REEEEE I lost my whole post on the F5

I'm here I'm not dead yet

>>18616190
thank you :)

>>18616242
lmfao

>>18616190
Why do you guys keep talking about sleeping alone?

As a person with depression and anxiety, I can't stand people with BPD sometimes. You have so many expectations of how I should act and expect so much from me? People with BPD are like sponges, often they are the most interesting characters which is all they have to give back to relationship other than taking and manipulating and needing so fking much.

>>18616264
My partner has BPD- this sounds just like him.

>>18616080
People with depression and other mental illnesses rarely emotionally abuse their partners to the point of suicide or mental breakdown. Only people with BPD or certain other cluster B personality disorders like NPD do. Most of the hate comes from people with bad experiences. Like >>18616053 said, most people are not getting treatment for it and do not even think they have an issue. Hell most psychiatrists won't even touch someone with BPD because of how much work it is to help them compared to every other type of client.

>>18616274
you sound like a real proper cunt with an "academic" viewpoint from the 70's, and I'd definitely bully you into suicide

>>18616213
>Neurotypical people
They aren't autistic they have a personality disorder.

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>>18616284
>correcting people who are correct when you are not correct

>>18616282
Not that poster, but he is right. BPD people are extremely abusive and extremely difficult to work with. The best possible thing one can do is to stay away from them and under no circumstances let them worm their way into one's life.

>>18616294
so you have a shitty opinion because you don't know how to work with difficult people and often feel victimized. I bet everyone who ever hurt your feels has a mental disorder.

>>18616294
I have one friend who has bpd. The only way to be friends with them is to have REALLY STRICT BOUNDARIES. Than they can be good because they can be pretty interersting. But unless you are a person who can have those boundaries then gtfo. I've also have friends who have BPD who i've had to stop being friends with because they are too much of a fucking drain too. So some mix is the only way. I know too many mentally ill ppl desu. But as I said before i have depression so piss poor of me to be picky finding friends when depressed ppl are awful friends too.

>>18616282
>I was born a mistake so everyone else should suffer for it.
People are dealt much worse hands then those born with BPD, if you are born with a defect you should try to overcome your issues to the best of your ability instead of expecting everyone in society to suffer.

>>18616282
lol, bpd everyone.

>>18616284
That anon said nothing about autism.
Neurotypical refers to people without any disorders. Bare in mind the definition of a disorder.

1. Pervasive in multiple environments (home, school, work, social settings).

2. A personality traits or set of traits that Deviates from whats normal or expected (this person eats a lot more pizza than the average. Something that simple can fulfill this criteria. You just need to have a quality or set of traits that isnt normal.)

3. (the big one) must be causing noteable and measureable damage to your quality of life or health.

Number 3 is important because everyones fucked up somehow, and everyone has unique traits. Numbers 1 and 2 are pretty much met by anyone alive.

But when you have a set of traits that occur enough to be well studied and well understood, you get a personality disorder that shares common neural formation, habits, predictable behaviour, and most fortunately, treatment.

>>18616302
I realise that hearing ugly truths is difficult but unfortunately it doesn't makes them less valid. There are difficult people and difficult people. Working with a BPD person is in most cases impossible due to their mindset, behaviour and abusive tendencies. Sure, there are BPD people who have their illness under control, but more often than not, you are going to come across an unstable ticking bomb. No reasonable person wants this kind of people in their life.

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>>18616004
I went out with a girl with BPD. Anytime she'd flip she'd just apologize, say its not her fault, its BPD etc.

Being at a fucking busy restaurant and having a girl go crazy and shout at you about food being served "ON THE WRONG PLATE!" is just too much for me. I don't want to go near BPD again.

>>18616333
Kinda this.

Nothing but respect and support for bpd folk seeking treatment.

The type to fail to recognize it and go on being bpd freely. Fuck those people.

>>18616340
>The type to fail to recognize it and go on being bpd freely. Fuck those people.

>gfs mother has bpd
>does nothing about it
>treats gf like shit
>gf has to deal with bizarre mental torment all the time, starting all the way back to childhood
>i get to go along for the ride for the last few years
>even my mental state is getting messed up by second hand lunacy

>>18616345
>staying with a BPD person longer that a day

You were asking for this.

>>18616350
Gf doesn't have it, her mother does.

>>18616353
>staying with a person whose close relative has BPD

You didn't think this through.

>>18616345
Yup. Had a bpd gf for 5 years (age 16-21) im 30 now.

My lifes good and all, im.happy, and do better than most so dont take this the wrong way:

Still have a few problems and mental issues from being around that so long.


My wife thank god is cool and understanding. But it was hard initially to make her understand why i delete all my conversations and text threads with girls, leave the room when taking a call, and constantly hide my screen and lock my phone and emails and wont share passwords, even though i am honest to god not even thinking about cheating ever...

>>18616357
That sounds more like she was just extremely jealous than bipolar though.

But I get your point. We've taken a break and I've been dating others, which has been hit and miss. It's like I want someone but want no one at the same time. Honestly if I've learned anything, it's that BPD takes its biggest toll on those around it. I know it's shitty to abandon someone with an illness but it also doesn't mean you have to be dragged down with them right?

>>18616326
>people without any disorders
It refers to people without any neuropsychiatric disorders actually. It isn't a term for anyone not mentally ill, or normal. Having a personality disorder doesn't necessarily make you neuroatypical, I say necessarily because personality disorders are not considered a neuropsychiatric illness but in some cases they can have a neurological basis.

As for autism, I say autism because the term is most often used by autistic people, as autism is one of the more common neurological disorders (ADD and ADHD is more common but I rarely hear the term from people with it).

That said the term is cringe as hell though since the term is most often used by groups who think autism is just another way of being and it doesn't need treatment. An opinion not accepted by most, also a stupid opinion because if doctors and society took that standpoint all their support services and disability payouts would be cut.

>>18616370
Nah she was bpd.

That was the worst part of it. But there was the whole worshipped me like a god thing, manipulated And threatened with suicide threats (why i stayed in) and many other forms of manipulation, self harmed in other ways, and it wasnt only girls, hated when i hung out with men too. Everyone was a bad influence.

But youre absolutely right. I eventually broke up with her and dealt with 2 months straight of nightly threats, blackmail, suicide cries, all caps emails, and my thougjt process to get through was "her or me. If she dies Thats not my responsibility, and i cant live my life like this anymore."
Wish i made that decision 4 years earlier.

Doesnt matter how much you care about them. You come first. If shes threatening your entire quality of life, shes gotta go by any means.


PS i almost typod "all caps emails" as "all faps emails" if you share my dumb humour.

>>18616386
>groups who think autism is just another way of being and it doesn't need treatment

I honestly didn't even know they treated autism or any existed. Like you said, I've always known of it as "a way of being".

It's things like this that make me afraid that one day any mental disorder will just be considered 'a way of being' and it'll be a free for all of craziness (I use craziness loosely obviously).

>>18616390
Harsh man. How did it all stop? Was it sudden like she realized it wouldn't work or did you have to disappear and change all your contact details?

>i almost typod "all caps emails" as "all faps emails" if you share my dumb humour.
Don't worry, I do kek.

>>18616386
Ah. Ok. I learned something.

Also to shed light, i have adhd. I never talk about it except on anonymous boards. I think from personal experience you wont hear it from them, because they usually have to explain themselves or assert themselves in one way or another to show people they arent retarded, just think differently and find things simple to others rather difficult.

Saying "i have adhd" is tempting because if you know what it is, its a quick "now you know everything about me" explanation, provided they know what adhd is.


Usually though the immediate assumption is "oh hes retarded" and you get spoken to like a 5 year old from there on out, or they assume youre making excuses.

For reference, i make 60k a year, have an education, and i am married and live away from parents...

I have nothing to make excuses about. Not directed at you, just the inevitable person reading this that might jump in and say my lifes a failure and im making excuses.

>>18616395

I ignored her. One night all of a sudden it stopped.

Found out later she met someone else at around that time. Guess she found someone new to idolize and control.

>>18616408
>Found out later she met someone else at around that time.
I hoped it wouldn't end that way. It means she never got help and the cycle will never stop, that multiple guys out there will have to endure all that pain and abuse. That's the saddest part imo.

At least you're out of there and got things together. I'm happy for you dude, it's great that you found someone good and married them.

>>18616391
>I honestly didn't even know they treated autism
They basically give them a social worker to take them out in the community, give their parents respite services, give them speech therapy (if needed), and teach them about how to interact with other people properly and about emotions. Even still the prognosis is shit for most people on the spectrum, they just give them therapy to attempt to make their lives more normal and hopefully reduce dysfunction enough so they can hold a job. Low functioning, and medium functioning people never end up working, some high functioning (aspergers before the term was discontinued) do end up working but the percentage is still small. Other then that they have to see a psych as all people with the condition have at least one other co-morbid psychiatric illness. Most commonly anxiety, but sometimes schizophrenia.

Such groups make up the, "autistic rights movement." It is pretty awful.

>>18616416
Truth is, i found out later that guy beat her eventually. I never wish that on her.

Then heard she was in another relationship and its going great. She was amazingly smart, shes an epidemiplogist now.

Smart enough ill bet she did get help. Im happy to hear.

>>18616004
Ignoring you isn't treating you badly.

>>18616422
That's a better ending than I could have hoped. I'm glad it worked out for both of you.

>>18616426
Yes it is if we already have an established relationship/friendship. Fuck you.

I'd rather continue being a forever alone virgin, then even go on one date with a BPD girl. Not happening. I am not going to create my own personal hell on Earth.

>>18616433
If you act like shit, the least I can do is to ignore you. YOU fuck off.

>>18616462
No it's called man the fuck up for once in your life and learn how to tell people when they're pissing you off

>>18616195
>>18616205
I'm sorry, but being a med student and having BPD doesn't qualify you to speak with this kind of authority on this.

I'm not insulting you. Truth is, absolutely nobody's qualified to speak with that kind of authority on this, not even experts at the top of the field, because the root causes of BPD are still poorly-understood. The "BPD: nature or nurture?" question is complex and controversial, as is the question of how free *most* BPD sufferers are to "unlearn" the behaviors.

You're not wrong, necessarily. But you are presenting one side of an unsettled issue as though it's well-established consensus in the field, which is something you really should have learned not to do by now. And it is an unsettled issue. If you've been led to believe otherwise, your instructors have been negligent, or you've cherrypicked what you've read.

>>18616004
If you even have to ask why people run from people with bipolar depression, then you truly must not understand what it does to them when they love someone who puts them through a living emotional hell like the worst horror movie that they could ever imagine. It's traumatic beyond belief, and I'm sure you can't appreciate that. Yeah, you hate yourself for it, but you'll still do the same shit again anyway. Stop wearing that "I've overdosed 6 times!" pin like it's some kind of achievement, and learn responsibility for your own actions. I know you can't help yourself, and I'm sorry for you, but please, don't ask why people avoid people with BPD. You know why. Now concentrate on changing.

>>18616004
Like all other personality disorders, the person with BPD is naturally predatory. They don't deserve hate per say, but only an idiot would trust them.

>>18616575
True, but sometimes they are experts at hiding it until you get to know them and then eventually they let that bear out of it's cage. Or as I used to call it, the "Bi-polar Bear".