Living As a Loner

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During the first half of my elementary schooling, I had acted as a violent individual, receiving multiple citations. Fortunately, I was then able to escape the ghetto-like environment that I was once involved in. I took to the books and acted highly introverted.

I am now 18, and my living conditions have consisted of recluse. I must underscore that I am of no social merit, in that I am unable to communicate with others, especially females. I have yet to arrive at a party or share in the wild experiences others have at such an age.

Rather than attempting to transcend these unfortunate conditions, I have accepted them. It is just that I find it difficult to live a life devoid of female presence when I am well aware that others are living on the other side of the social spectrum. I am constantly bombarded with shaming for my social ineptitude and lack of virility, not publicly, but through the internet, as in through youtube comments for example that criticize others as being "virgins." Such epithets make me highly uncomfortable. How am I to overcome such and continue my life in pursuit of intelligence if my being married is only viable at the age of 26 or so? Do keep in mind that I come from a patriarchal culture, in that an Arranged Marriage is the only hope I have.