am i halucinating?

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I was in very bad mental state recently (to point where wanted to harm myself, but didnt), everything started when I broke up with bf - we were never officialy going out, but we were more than sex buddies. It was like a year ago. One day we just stopped texting and meeting and deep down inside I knew he either got back with previous gf (of 6 years) or got new toy to fuck around instead of me... (I was 22, he was 28)

>stoped seeing this bf which was kind of most important person at that time
>didnt give a fuck for few months, thought that I moved on, but in reality not really
>started not to care about my apearance, was not depresed, focused on studying only
>in 6 months gained around 10kg, after realising gained weight became extremaly self concious
>now a bit chuby/plump/puffy, but still at least average looking
>was shy, became more shy and very hard to approach
>TODAY went to library, looking good, on way home went to shop, on second floor/balcony I see this dude who looks exactly like EX, shopping basket falls out of hands (empty), me in shock about to cry, just standing not moving. That dude looks at me but still going (no clear sign it was the ex and that he recognized me). I'm still not sure if he was the ex or not, he was 30-50meters away. If it was not him, I would say it was his twin or wtf...

Idk I halucinated? I feel so shitty right now, all the feels are coming back, feel even more pathetic, how do I cope with this?