How can I get him back?

Stop talking to him and start improving yourself. Get fit, eat healthier, spend more time with friends and family so that you become happy rather than acting it through having new flings with other guys, that's just cheating yourself out of a happier existence.

Source- A bloke who dumped a girl and severely regrets it a year later.

>>18611006
You can get yourself together and find somebody else, for example.

..or you can risk humiliating yourself by lame attempts to get back with somebody that does not even like you at this point.

>>18611015
I've been working on myself since then. Lost some weight so far, got a higher position at work and have achieved quite a lot but still feel empty without him. Everything would be more enjoyable if he was there and I can't stop thinking about that.

>>18611020
Thanks for your input but I'm willing to take that risk. I'm not asking whether or not I should try to get him back. I'm asking how I should do it.

>>18611006
This is OP. I forgot to mention that we were together for eight years and we're both 24, if it matters.

>>18611035
>I'm asking how I should do it.
The answe is that you shouldn't because according to your words, he is clearly happier with her, and he doesn't seem to be interested in you. Let it go before you make him hate you.

>>18611006
>him
You cant always have what you want. Life isnt fair. Try reading book or doing some sport.

>You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her.

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58KB, 300x207px

>>18611035

>Her happiness is only guaranteed by externals

Accept your position in life and embrace it. Use it to your advantage and it will pay off, no matter how much pain you are in. In time you will either be at a high enough station that you will not even need to think about him, or he will want you again.

Take it from a bloke, no trait is more attractive in a girl than someone who is totally happy in life.

>>18611039
why did you guys break up? 8 years is quite a long time

>>18611041
>>18611044
>>18611049
Thanks for the responses everyone. I know that it's selfish of me and I have no control over this situation. I was just wondering if I can somehow influence him to give it another chance. He does tell me that he's much better off now and happy that he left me but part of me thinks that he says those things to try to make me jealous.. maybe I'm just being delusional. I'm not thinking clearly. That's why I needed some unbiased opinions and you guys are right. It's best to leave things as they are for now and hope that he returns on his own one day.

>>18611050
I started getting lazy, unmotivated, and didn't put as much effort in the relationship as I should have. I got too comfortable and stopped caring about that "spark". He constantly wanted to go out and do things on the weekends and I turned him down because I just wanted to stay at home. I was boring and he was seeking excitement. His car broke down so I had to give him rides to and from work but complained about it. Towards the end, we argued a lot about nothing and old problems that weren't relevant anymore. I just realized how stupid I was being and how I was taking him for granted when he was very loving and always wanted to do something with me. Eight years is a very long time and I forgot who I am now that he's no longer in my life. Part of me died since he left me. I'll never forgive myself for losing him. If only he came back, I'd never let things reach that point again.

>>18611098
So it was your fuck up. Basically you couldn't give him what he wanted and you acted like being in that relationship was a drag and inconvenience so he went elsewhere and seems to be happy now. Do both of yourself favors and move on, don't make yourself miserable and dont put him in a situation where he may blow his new relationship. I would cut ties as well. Nothing good can come of old relationships keeping in contact aside from with children (which you don't seem to have). One day you'll both be drunk or vulnerable or something and you'll send that text "...hey, wanna hang out?" And both of you will fuck yourselves over and be right back at square one but worse.

>>18611121
I did fuck up and now I severely regret it. We don't have any kids so you're right. There's no way I'd mess up again if we ended up together, so I disagree with you saying that we'll be at square one but worse. I do agree, however, with leaving him alone. If he wants to come back, I'll gladly take him. He also initiates contact with me half of the time even if he's not very talkative so that confuses me. Fuck I hate my life.

>>18611136
>There's no way I'd mess up again if we ended up together
you say that, but then again abusers also say theyll never do it again too. (comparison not an accusation)
square one meaning after your one night stand, you both (or just he or you, depending) lose the relationships you were having. whether that will bring you back together or tear you further apart, i dont know. what i do know is it would be fucked up for the innocent parties involved.
>He also initiates contact with me half of the time
he probably misses you or at least wants to keep you as a friend regardless if he wants to come back or not, an 8 year relationship from teenagehood isnt something youll just drop overnight.

look, its been almost 1/2 a year. you should settle this asap so you both can either move on or move back in. call him, ask to talk. tell him straight up, i miss you etc, is she a rebound or do you really love her? are you just trying to get over me or do you really want to spend your life with her?
at the very least it will get him to think about his relationship and give you a definite answer. if he gives you an i dont know, more than likely she is a rebound. this is the only way you will get over this, either you get him to tell you straight up "yes i still love you" or "no ive found someone else". dont accept any half assed answers or dodges, tell him what youve been going through and how this is the only thing that can close this case, are you with me or not.

from there, your course of action should become self evident.