Relationship advice needed

How can you be 100 she didn't have lesbian sex with her friends? I think she has been missing a good carpet cleaning you haven't been providing.

We both agreed that our sex is amazing. She was shaking after the orgasms with me and I always enjoyed eating her out.

>>18610879
She's probably freaking out that you'll want to marry her and want children and if she's ready for that next level commitment with you and if you're not providing for her sexually now why should she stay with you forever? If she says the chemistry isn't there then you need to up your game otherwise she'll go out on one of these weekends with her friends and meet some chad who will satisfy her.

she got bored, shes a whore and she wants a new dick
shes mad because she cant find any reason to leave you, so shes going to sabotage the relationship and hope you make a mistake validating her choice

you know what lad, ignore her, let her play her game, dont be so eager to be with her, dont need to be an ass, but drop the romantic bullshit
have a surprise ready when she shows interesta gain

but ultimately, start searching for another chick, this is not going stay with you through harsh times

>>18610929
We want the same when it comes to kids and marriage. Sex was also great, she had strong orgasms and usually I made sure she came first.

>>18610940
That is my current approach. I have told her everything I had to and now I am backing off, without breaking up.
Not initiating any contact unless she does it first. If she is silent till Wednesday I will just call her to setup up details of going to the wedding.

If she flakes giving whatever reason I am breaking up.
If we go there together I will be looking perfect (buying new suit this weekend anway) and I am dancing quite well, so I will make sure she has best night of her life. This should help to reignite her feelings.

I have already installed tinder and I am swiping without initiating contact. Just to improve my mood and self-esteem.

>>18610989
>installed tinder

oh boy


have you asked her why she feels the way she feels?

>>18610994
Tried to. She said she does not know why, but even though she knows I am doing nothing wrong she irrationally becomes angry at me, and starts to be cold. Then she mentioned lack of chemistry and said she is not feeling what she would like to, and that her previous relationship could not survive this moment.

She also added that she is overall unhappy, keeps thinking about past and it is hard for her to focus on the present. Her mother died last year and she is still dealing with this.

>>18611007
detaching and waiting for your bf/gf to break up with you is a common method of exiting a relationship. i've done it personally when i was younger and maybe she's doing it now. not going to jump to conclusions and say she's cheating on you, but i wouldn't be surprised at all if she has someone in mind.

>>18611007
well, she got to that point previously without her mother dying, so i donmt think this has something to do with it.
how long have you two been dating? has this same thing happened at a similar point in her past relationships?
to me it sounds like she can't handle a certain level of intimacy that builds up if you are together for some time. she is trying to push you away because she fears that you could get too important to her. she can't be vulnerable. is she a person who's rather distant in general? how did she handle situations that made her uncomfortable, like you two not agreeing on something?

>>18611007
OP, your break up is underway and while you might delay it is inevitable. She's trying to be as gentle as possible but you resist and she'll tire of this and disclose something that will be very hurtful hoping you'll get the message. Its over and the quicker you accept it the quicker you can recover from the end.

>>18610879
>>18610879
try 2 be nice

>>18611019
We are dating for about 1 year. Started going out in June, in early September we decided that we want to go for the serious relationship. Her mother died in July last year. I was supportive all the time.

She said that she was behaving the same after some time in her previous relationship. She focused only on the negative side of relation ship and everything made her angry. Most of them lasted 1,5-2 years.

When it comes to conflict situation she usually suddenly becomes distant and I have talk with her what is being wrong. There is no shouting etc, just exchange of our points of view and reaching common point. Also I know when to acknowledge my mistake, say sorry and improve things on my side.

Unfortunately she is quite pessimistic and tends to over analyze things.

Just let her go OP

>>18611101
so the time pattern fits. after about a year, the intimacy reaches lebels she can't deal with.

suddenly becoming distant is a clear sign of someone who fears true intimacy. she bottles up and needs space when something bother her. she can't be close when she's upset.

this is something that oly she can work on and only if she is able to realize it. it also takes time. but she will definitely have to work trough it if she ever wants to have a longer relationship.

there's probably not much you did wrong or that's not ok with your relationship. sounds like she just can't deal with the closenes. which is usually rooted in bad self worth. she might feel like she need to keep her guard up all the time and she might only show you the sides of herself she knows will get your approval. this is exhausting and she won't be able to keep it up infinitely. looks like her boundaries are reached after about 12 months. it's about her thinking that if she showed you all of herself you would be appaled and leave. this isn't her "needing distance" or "not knowing what she wants" or "not wanting a relationship with you". this is her being afraid of rejection because she doesn't think the person she truly is is worthy of love. she convinced herself that she doesn't really want this, because it's easier to lose something you "don't want" than to admit that it would really fucking hurt to lose it.

She's a dumb vapid whore who'll just lie and pin it on you leave

>>18611429
You sound like you are reading her mind. I was never judgmental towards her, however she was distanced when it came to sharing her music and movies with me. She mentioned that she does no feel 100% herself around me, said that she is grey and boring when compared with me. She also said that she feels stupid and I am too intelligent for her.

Any idea how to approach her now? I know that I need to be gentle, however I am afraid that she will spend the time apart convincing herself that we do not match.

>>18611515
that's because i can read my own mind and i was the same as her when i was younger.
exactly. she will do stuff like not like people taking pictures of her or being reluctant to share her true sexual fantasies. she can't show herself and always filters what she let's other see.

i don't know if this is still solveable since she would first need to realize what's going on and want to change. i think the only thing that could help right now is complete honesty. tell her what you think is going on and don't be afraid to admit that the situation scares you. dare to be vulnerable. it's risky, because she might be too far gone already. but she probably wants nothing more than things working out between you two. the problem is that it might very well be that she is so good at burrying that that she doesn't even know it herself. it's hard because people like her actually like to see themselfe as "independent" and "not needy". truth is that they are the ones who would need a significant other to let their guard down the most. i really hope she can see that and things work out for the two of you.

>>18611532
Thank you. I am just afraid that any contact with her right can do more harm than good. Should I wait few days for her to re-initiate contact? She went to her hometown today and will be back in my city on Tuesday evening.

I have already told her that I love her for who she is and that I can see in her things, she is unable to or does not want to see herself.

Relationshit.

>>18611565
it's possible. she might not be ready to move on from this. if that's the case, then everything you try to close the distance will just push her away, but leaving he mr be will just make her drift away. i really believe that confronting her with the whole truth is the only way. she might have never before seen that about herself and it might stick with her and make her think. i can't guarantee you that this will work in your favor. i'm really sorry, anon.