How is life having kids?why do i want it so badly?

OP here, would like to add:
If i put some brain in it, it bcomes a fucking stupid ideea. I mean..I have a job and trying to finnish college at the same time, I don;t own a house, parent divorced-father won't be able to help that much; mother dumped me in the street and robed me of all my 'buy a house' money, so I won't get that much help from the outside

>>18610391
Hi! Much older than you (43) father of two reporting in!
>How is Life Having Kids?
Much better than I was expecting, but also much harder. I love it. It has given my life genuinely new kinds of love and made my existence meaningful. It's also an infuriating, exhausting, ferociously expensive, inconvenient pain in the ass.
>know that a kid will change our routin 360, but i have no ideea why i want it. I can t explain why i want a kid so badly..it just feels like what i should do.
Maybe it is. I didn't think I wanted kids until I was over 30; suddenly, I saw a dad walking down the street with his daughter and my heart changed. I was really surprised.
>However, you may want to wait a while.
>What I expect: 0time for myself,
Mostly true. All priorities and energy shift to them first, then their mom, then you. I don't go out at night anymore, and my social life is 90% other dads of kids my kids' age. I used to be a big art, music, nightlife person. Not any more.
>huge money invested in the kid,
More than you expect.
>a lot of stress and hard work,
More than you expect.
>and will really slow me down since I work and going to college
Personally, I would encourage you to wait until you're not both in school and working; maybe wait until you've settled a little bit more into a career, or at least have finished school and are just working. It's always going to be hard. But it's a lot harder with no free time or money.
>Why do I want a kid so fucking bad?? My brain tells me how hard it will be, yet sometimes I can't stop thinking about it.
Can't say. I could pretend it's an evolutionary mandate, but I think evolutionary behaviorism is silly.

Perhaps you are looking for meaning in your life (I was).

Perhaps you are looking for something to commit to in a new way (I had a wife for years before having kids, but I'm frankly not sure I would have died for her; I would not hesitate to die for my sons--I mean this very literally).

>>18610426
But regarding home ownership, I don't know where you live, but I live in a very expensive major city where 80%+ of residents are renters; most of my dad friends do not own homes, even pretty rich guys. So while I think it would be nice for you and your gf to own a place (my wife and I own a slightly-too-small condo, and occasionally fantasize about the big house in the suburbs), I know at least a hundred dads who don't have one of their own, and a bunch who may never be able to afford it (my home is in one of the most expensive housing markets in the world).

Depends very much on your location, situation, and means. But millions and millions of kids come out of, for example, Manhattan (where my father-in-law was born), and most of their parents weren't homeowners.

Babysit someone's kid/toddlers for a few hours or days. Best advice I can think of.

You will get to trick your brain and get a preview of what it's like. And best of all, you can get to say goodbye to them.

Was a puppy Walker for a charity when we wanted a puppy. It was enough to show us we did not have the time for such responsibility.

I know of couples that 'borrowed' kids and gave them a new perspective.

>>18610426
Thank you for your toughts; they mean a lot and they are helpful.
I do now that kid>wife>me will be a rule and honestly it's what i want. I'll gladly put them above me.
right now i live in the middle of a big city in a rented house but soon (in a year or so) i should be able to buy a aparment via bank(why pay the rent when i can pay the bank and own a place-same money wasted, different outcome)
>>>18610444
We did take care of a foster child. GF worked A LOT with small kids and she loves it. I don't feel any attaction towards children, at least one that it isn't mine. But I feel this attraction towards MY future child

I don't really wanna rain on the parade here, but genuinely, how did any of you decide that bringing a life into the world was a good idea?
>World is shit
>We have absolutely no idea what happens after death
>Having a kid is immediately cursing them with this inevitable question, and cursing them with the ever lingering presence of death
Seriously, how do you do it? How do you decide that having a child is worth it despite these things?

>>18610682
OP here
I don't mind any of those, i just hope he won't browse /b/

>>18610391
Don't fall into that trap. Enjoy your freedom and don;'t let yourparents and relatives tell you why you don't plan to form a family. The times are changing.

>>18610846
That's the thing. I wanna do it more than anything. Mostly i started doubting myself because of other ppl opinions.
I don't wanna be a father at 40 years. I don't wanna end up like those parents that have shitty relationship with the kid because of the age gap

>>18610391
Wait till you finished school, at least.

>>18610391
Good on you, OP. I don't have children but here's what I know: if you didn't want kids we wouldn't be around. Naturally our ancestors who were more eager to have offspring got to stick around, which is why we have these instincts.
While your routine changes, so will your priorities. You won't have as much time to play video games/tour around/whatever but you won't care because you'd rather spend that time on your kids. Additionally, there's no greater motivator than having children - by average, men with children all out earn their counterparts because they're more driven to work hard.
If you want an easy life, don't have kids. If you want a fulfilling life, don't miss out on this.

>>18610820
I'm not the guy you replied to. You don't mind, but the person that you will force into this shitty world might mind. Of course, you being as selfish as you are, you'll still reproduce simply because it makes you feel good.

>>18610426
>I don't go out at night anymore, and my social life is 90% other dads of kids my kids' age. I used to be a big art, music, nightlife person. Not any more.
You have one fucking life to live and you sacrifice all the things you actually enjoy doing, and for what? To produce Children who will die someday, probably after you do?

>Perhaps you are looking for meaning in your life (I was).
Ah there it is. You reproduced to give meaning to your meaningless life. You condemned another person to an equally meaningless existence just so you could distract yourself from the despair of such an existence.

>>18610885
>Additionally, there's no greater motivator than having children
Some people regret their decision to have children.

>by average, men with children all out earn their counterparts because they're more driven to work hard.
Or rather, they get payed more simply because bosses are more biased towards family men.