How to come to terms with my religious parents

You should of come out after you figured out your life. Now it's likely your parents won't help you fuck all when you do figure out what you want to do.

>>18608482
That was my original plan but I just couldn't stand there lying to them for so long. I used to lie a lot to everyone as a kid but I wanted to fix my personality by being honest to everyone, even if it meant getting into trouble.

>>18608498
Well now bask in the consequences. I'd come out later on but that's your choice.

try to be more understanding, you were brainwashed only 14 years and they have been brainwashed all their lives... No brainwashed parents would accept their child is atheist.
My mom is a very religious christian, but father doesnt go to church, only mom. When I dropped that I dont belive in God, I realised that its not that I dont belive, but I dont belive in how church is forcing people to go pray every sunday, give money offerings, go tell random priest your sins - i find it fucked up and unreasonable. When I said these things, mom was more accepting thou didnt like it. Try telling your parents simmilar thing it might help to soften them

>>18608498
Don't do it. There are so many horror stories, you're not special, your life will be fucked up.
Follow the old mantra "after college, after moving, at a diner that's on your pay"
It's hard but the alternative is much worse.

>>18608507
My confession didn't change anything. After that night I continued pretending to be a muslim and they think I was just going through a phase. So nothing is ruined, yet.

Also OP there are indoctrination schools in mecca where families send people like you. You don't want to end up there. I'm not making this up.

>>18608511
Whoa I misread, anyway pretend you lapsed and that you're still muslim until you're fully independent

>>18608510
I was thinking of studying a whole bunch of things and subjects so I can prove the Qur'an wrong. But I don't know what kind of result that would have if I succeeded.

>>18608520
My parents aren't that radical.

It's simple. You're asking the question:
>"Do my parents love me for who I am?"
Now, I don't know the answer for said question, but ideally they do. Get out of your home town, live your life. And keep minimal to no touch with your parents.
They'll come to miss you, and they'll do anything to have you back. Even ignore their religion.
I had an upbringing much like yours, my parents are devoted Christians. When I grew sixteen, I came to the realization that there is no God. I tried telling them, but, like you, I had no luck.
Years not talking to them since I left my hometown led them to try and establish contact. I explained - not argued - that I was an atheist. Theft did raise a few objections, but once I told them I expected them to act like adults and respect my beliefs, they got better.
I've taken my baby girl to meet them. Of course, I had to correct my parents when they started their "indoctrination", like a beast master corrects his dogs.

If your parents can't respect your beliefs, then give up and rely on your wife's parents to take the full grandparent duty. Folk that can't respect your beliefs are childish and only time may fix them - sometimes they'll die like so.

Good luck my fellow atheist.

>>18608565
When did you leave your hometown, at what age? Also I'm afraid I won't find any job to pay for my college if my parents stop supporting me.

>>18608622
Anyone have any more advice?

if you view their religiousness (doesn't matter which faith) as brain washing, then you already have no respect for them, their values, their world outlook, or the choices they make.

so why worry about them respecting you?

>>18608475
Maybe you can just look at religion from a tradition viewpoint, don't view it in a sense that it is something you must believe in, but rather as a tradition your parents want you to keep since there is a chance even them don't believe in God.

>>18608969
I didn't mean that the religion itself is brainwashing. I meant that if you teach a kid a religion and nothing else and not giving him any space to think for himself; that's what I call brainwashing.

>>18608976
Why would I keep islam as a tradition when I don't believe in it at all? That makes no sense.

>>18608475
Albania?

>>18608475
You don't come to terms with muslims, that's the thing. Everyone has tried. They are the most stubborn and stuck up people, just because the book told them to be that way.

>>18609302
Bosnia and Herzegovina

I went through something similar with my parents. Only with Christianity instead of Islam. The best thing you can do is live the life that makes you happy, without worrying about what your parents will think. Between my religious views, my choice in women, and my candid attitude, my parents and I had a lot of disagreement after I was done with high school. There was a brief (and admittedly awkward) adjustment period when they realized that they couldn't change or control me. But after that, we rekindled our relationship, and now 7 years later, we get along just fine. They realized I'm their son, regardless of what I do or believe.

I hope this was at least a little helpful, and that you and your parents can find some kind of catharsis without disowning each other. As for future children of yours, even I haven't reached that chapter of my life yet. I imagine we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it.

Hey, OP. I'm an ex-Muslim too, here's my thoughts on your situation from personal experience.

If you want to keep a relationship with your family, you better start pretending to be a Muslim for the rest of your life, at least in front of them. I'm assuming your parents are from the Middle East and were born and bred in that Islamic environment. You really don't have a chance in convincing them to accept you, it just won't happen.

As far as your future children go, you can raise them 'Muslim' to appease your parents, but it's not like you have to impose the religion on them like your parents did to you. And when they're old enough you can tell them what you feel on the matter and encourage them to find their own path. It's really not a big deal.

This is just what I'd recommend as someone who tried telling my parents I was no longer Muslim, and it completely backfiring on me. Luckily I managed to turn it back around and still have a good relationship with my family.

On the other hand, if you really don't give a shit about your family, then just go ahead and let them know what you feel and how you'll live your life/raise your children.

>>18610367
My parents aren't from the Middle East. They have lived in the same European country all their life and their ancestors too. It's just that they grew up in communism and now that our country has capitalism, they want to spread their freedom of religion as much as they want even if it means ignoring my wishes. I live in Bosnia and Herzegovina btw.

>>18610348
I hope I can say the same thing for myself