Everyone I used to be friends with hates me, for how I acted

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Everyone I used to be friends with hates me, for how I acted in my times of desperation, and now I don't have enough money to meet anyone new. I'm doing what I need to for myself (in regards to work, etc.), but I'm so lonely, and I wish the people from my past didn't hate me. I want to go to church or something, but I don't want to be phony and pretend to believe in that stuff. I usually just go to the community center and shoot the shit there, but I'm such an odd one out there as well. I have two new friends, but that's hardly enough to keep the existential dread at bay. What can I do? I used be in intensive mental health treatment, for when I had drug dependence and panic attacks, but now I have a life set up, and asking for that sort of help again would just disrupt everything.