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We all have our own purpose of life, whether we know what it is or not.
My purpose of life, is to find «the one» who i can share my life with. To spend all the time i can with. Waking up next to every day, sharing meals with, travelling and adventure together with. And eventually giving the gift of life, to a newborn, so they can also experience the same.
My problem is that i am certain i have found «the one».
But this person is not into me the same way, because she only see me as a good friend. So how am i supposed to stay motivated to make a living? Most people would say that «there is plenty of fish in the sea». And that i will eventually find someone.
But i have a limited time of my life. And i want to spend as long time as i can with this person. The longer i have to wait, the less time i get to share with her.
I am in a really dark place right now, because my purpose of life has been denied. What am i supposed to do? I don't feel like doing anything, bacause anything i do, i have to do it alone.
How am i supposed to complete any education, without this motivation? Some days i feel serious about running away into the nature, and start living like a caveman. Because i like the nature, and it seems like the only logical thing left for me to do.
Although i don't dare to, because my family would report me missing, and searching teams would find me, and bring me back to society. This also denies my freedom. Because i am forced to live after this recipe, to make an education, and find a job. If not, you will be looked at like a psychopath. Just because i have other values.
I have told «the one» how i feel about her. Because the only thing i can do, is to open the door, and hope she will one day walk through it. But i am in that dark room alone. And she have not walked through the door yet. She have already walked through someone elses door. And i am left alone, in my own dark room.
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You need help, like by a therapist. That kind of attitude is the doorway to a lifetime of codependency and depression. Leaning on someone to be your reason to live is harmful to you and borderline abusive to them.
Finding a special someone can't be the sole purpose of your life. You need to make a great life for yourself and then want to share that with your special someone. Relationships are about sharing happiness, not desperately trying to extract it from another person.
And if a girl isn't into you, she's not into you. Move on.
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Also, there is no such thing as "the one." That doesn't happen. People are capable of falling in love with any number of people. Love isn't discovered; it is grown, it is nurtured, it is created collaboratively. It happens over a period of time, after you spend enough time with a person you can develop a loving relationship.
The idea that there is one single person out there who you can partner up with is bullshit.
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