We all have our own purpose of life, whether we know what it is or not.
My purpose of life, is to find «the one» who i can share my life with. To spend all the time i can with. Waking up next to every day, sharing meals with, travelling and adventure together with. And eventually giving the gift of life, to a newborn, so they can also experience the same.
My problem is that i am certain i have found «the one».
But this person is not into me the same way, because she only see me as a good friend. So how am i supposed to stay motivated to make a living? Most people would say that «there is plenty of fish in the sea». And that i will eventually find someone.
But i have a limited time of my life. And i want to spend as long time as i can with this person. The longer i have to wait, the less time i get to share with her.
I am in a really dark place right now, because my purpose of life has been denied. What am i supposed to do? I don't feel like doing anything, bacause anything i do, i have to do it alone.
How am i supposed to complete any education, without this motivation? Some days i feel serious about running away into the nature, and start living like a caveman. Because i like the nature, and it seems like the only logical thing left for me to do.
Although i don't dare to, because my family would report me missing, and searching teams would find me, and bring me back to society. This also denies my freedom. Because i am forced to live after this recipe, to make an education, and find a job. If not, you will be looked at like a psychopath. Just because i have other values.
I have told «the one» how i feel about her. Because the only thing i can do, is to open the door, and hope she will one day walk through it. But i am in that dark room alone. And she have not walked through the door yet. She have already walked through someone elses door. And i am left alone, in my own dark room.
You need help, like by a therapist. That kind of attitude is the doorway to a lifetime of codependency and depression. Leaning on someone to be your reason to live is harmful to you and borderline abusive to them.
Finding a special someone can't be the sole purpose of your life. You need to make a great life for yourself and then want to share that with your special someone. Relationships are about sharing happiness, not desperately trying to extract it from another person.
And if a girl isn't into you, she's not into you. Move on.
Also, there is no such thing as "the one." That doesn't happen. People are capable of falling in love with any number of people. Love isn't discovered; it is grown, it is nurtured, it is created collaboratively. It happens over a period of time, after you spend enough time with a person you can develop a loving relationship.
The idea that there is one single person out there who you can partner up with is bullshit.