The girl I was dating for six months broke it off with me about ten days ago. (She couldn't deal with our differences in political views.) When I asked her, she basically told me her main reason for "loving" me in the first place was because I did nice stuff for her, I was attractive, and I played guitar. After being briefly blindsided and really upset, over the course of a few hours I came to terms with the fact that her love was likely never genuine, and I was able to get over most of the negative feelings very quickly.
Three days after we broke up, I was on Tinder for shits and gigs. I didn't have any intention of pursuing any matches, and was really only using it for a confidence boost. Then I matched a very pretty girl, who I'll call Rachel. She messaged me first, and right away was very open to conversation. We chatted for an hour that night over text, then for another two over the phone the next night. We hit topics like philosophy, culture, politics, and ethics, and it all felt very genuine and open. We realized that we had a good deal in common; we're both health-conscious and academically minded, we both despise hookup culture, etc. Later that week (this past Thursday, exactly one week after my breakup) we went on our first date. We wound up sitting by the beach and talking for four hours about our past, more philosophy, and bunch of other topics, with lots of laughter throughout. We kissed several times before the date was over. We went out again the next night, and I let her stay at my place since she'd had a few drinks. The next morning we wound up talking for so long that by the time we were done, it was evening again. Instead of just one night, we accidentally spent this entire past weekend together talking and going on walks. By the end of the weekend we'd planned on going camping together next weekend.
(1/3)
Rachel then mentioned that she and one of my best friends (we'll call him Gary) had previously matched on Tinder and used to talk a lot; they never had any intention of meeting, but they shared a lot of personal details and were basically like each others' confidantes for a while. She said she wanted to let me know about that before we take things any further. I wasn't terribly bothered by this, since they hadn't really dated and I was very infatuated with this girl. But I figured I'd talk to Gary about it.
Yesterday Gary and I were hanging out at my apartment. I mentioned to him that I hit it off really well with Rachel. I told him that I intended to see her for at least a little while and see where things go. He gave me a look that made my gut sink into my feet. First and foremost, he clarified that his interactions with Rachel happened just about a week ago. He told me that Rachel was "crazy" and that it really wouldn't be wise to date her. He wouldn't give out many details, since he wouldn't want to break her trust and confidentiality, but on a bit of probing, he revealed that she had cheated at least once on an ex-boyfriend. This was crushing, to say the least. On top of that, Gary revealed that the conversations he and Rachel first had when they started talking were a lot like the philosophical "deep talks" I had with her; they weren't as special or unique as I had thought. I also gleaned details that suggested that Rachel really wanted to go out with Gary. I then realized that Gary was in one of my Tinder pictures, leading me to suspect that maybe I was just being used to get to him.
(2/3)
So now I'm sitting here today deciding what to do. On the one had, this beautiful girl whom I can talk to for hours seems very open to dating me. She seems really genuine when we're together, and she really cares about what I have to say. She remembers little details I mentioned days prior and brings them up again in conversation. And she was eager to spend an entire weekend with basically just me and no one else. On the other hand, my good friend told me she's a cheater, and I've got suspicions that she could just be using me to get back at him. My heart says try, but my head says cut it off right now. What do you guys think I should do?
>>18599045
At first read, I'd say Gary could be jealous or not want you to succeed where possibly he failed? That's how your average human would react. Try to ruin it for you somehow
But you know Gary. If you says he's a good friend, ask yourself. Would he do something like that to you, or is he letting you know because he cares about you?
I would say either way, if you really like this girl, go for it. Keep everything in mind though, and expect nothing extraordinary.
Maybe everything about her is right? Maybe not? Maybe either way, you have a genuine connection, and it could work out? Only one way to find out my friend
Good luck, stay smart and be careful
>>18599037
Don't fall for chicks on tinder. Have your philosophy that year and just eat your dick sucked and quit wasting time talking to her about life and a deep meaningful topics