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/adv/, help me, I dunno what happened.
I feel like my life kinda took a turn in another direction. This year wasn't very kind to me. My dad died earlier this year and in combination with stress and anxiety, I had to stay 3 months off from work. 1 of which I slept 2 hours per day, not because I couldn't fall asleep, but I couldn't stay asleep. I eventually got meds and everything got better, but not long after that I had bad anxiety, which let me stay awake for the whole night. That's where i took another 2 months off of work. Everything got better, I even switched positions in my workplace, something more stressfree. I met people, even a girl which I'm seeing right now. But I just don't feel like I was before. Those last years, when I got home, I watched youtube, played vidya and was chill with it, even happy. But nowadays I can't stay calm. It's not that I'm nervous, more so that I don't want to play any video games anymore, they just bore the fuck out of me. I may play some Diablo 3 here and there, but get bored really quickly. All I really want to do is meet people. Especially woman. It's been a long time since I had a gf, or a relationship where I was emotionally attached too. I don't know if that Is because my dad died, but I just feel lonely all the fucking time. I don't want to go talk about this with my friends. I recently started playing the guitar, working out, just to do something, trying to shut my mind off.
This is all kind of new to me. I'm 26 and never had this urge to do shit all the time.
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You think you have it hard?
I was bullied at school so now I hate everyone.
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>>18598919
I am 29 and I can really relate about what you are telling us.
In your words I see the loneliness coming from the grief of your father's death, and the consequential angst of freedom, but in a positive way. You care less about shit like Diablo 3, and you care about getting involved with women. You see, I think you are in the middle of your two selves: you are still a boy, and yet a young man. You still could be playing vidya and videogames even if your family died, but instead you are eventually reacting pushing forward and searching for connection and meaning. My advice is: ride this urge to do shit all the time, try new things (avoid drugs) and find what really suits you because for me it worked like this: nothing can fill the loss of my grandmother, apart the sense of significance of my life. And I take this significance from the things I do and I love. And from my SOs. Think like you have a bigger and faster engine, and we discovered this because in your situation the engine of majority of people would be broke, instead yours is on. Push down the handbrake. Sorry for your father :(
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