Has anyone successfully gotten their ex back? If so, how?

>>18598741
It's easy, I've done it hundreds of times.

why would you want to lol

>>18598771
Teach me your ways

>>18598741
The trick is to be the one that does the dumping.

>>18598741
Getting back together after years could be very good, but it rarely happens. Getting back after months is obviously just going to lead to more of the same shit and then another breakup.

>>18598780
>have ex
>tell them you want to try and work things out
>it inevitably fails all over again
>rinse repeat

You can usually get 1-10 repeats per ex.

>>18598741
Tell us your story OP.
Who did what? What happened? What's changed? What would you tell this person about today?

>>18598851
lmao anon that just sounds like you can't make up your mind

>>18598870
Like I said, it's easy. I've done it hundreds of times.

>>18598865
I just got fucked up around them and they didn't like my personality while I was fucked because of this I'm sober now. We still talk occasionally but they don't believe I've actually changed.

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>>18598881
Ask for an opportunity to prove that you changed?

I'm in a shitty position right now sorta related. I just can't get a read on this girl that I had a little thing with before the summer started but I fucked things up.
>snapchatting this girl I matched with on tinder like a year ago
>she lives four hours away from me
>finally comes down to nyc where I'm in one weekend in April 2017
>she has a bf though
>we hang out for like two days straight don't hook up or anything but have a great time
>she goes back upstate and her bf breaks up with her
>starts facetiming me for hours every day
>decide to step in to visit her after a couple of weeks
>we spend the weekend together and fuck and whatever
>continue talking like crazy, feels like a relationship but she's obviously not tryna settle down
>understand but I'm annoyed and can't help but get jealous, we still tell each other that we love each other (this was stupid for sure)
>see her another time some weeks later
>not as great as the first time but mostly because I wanted her to be more affectionate. She has some intimacy issues though due to being kinda raped by her first bf
>a few weekends later I foolish freak out after seeing some stupid social media post and ask her why she can't be with me and if she even loves me
>she says she doesn't love me and can't be with me cuz I'm too far away and that there's nothing wrong with taking things slow
>tell her how's she led me on and lied to me about loving me and whatever
>stop talking to her for a bit
>she sends me a long apology through text and asks if we can ever be friends
>a couple weeks later we start talking (snapchatting) regularly and face timing a couple times a week.
>I playfully ask her for nudes and she says no we're friends now.
>I tell her no we're not friends I still want to have sex with you and whatever
>she doesn't disregard it or anything and we continue talking
>going to school in the fall closer to her and we plan on seeing each other again

>>18598914
Adding to this, the uncertainty is just driving me crazy and there are so many times where I just wanna ask her if she's still into me, but that just oozes insecurity and can't do that again. I think our problem was rushing shit, and now I kind of need to start from scratch. Do I really just have to wait until I see her or can I do something beforehand? It's just so lame that this is all virtual...

>>18598901
How should I go about doing that?

>>18598741
I haven't but here is my plan:
1. Get over her as good as I can
2. Improve myself
3. Meet other girls
4. Have a good time
5. Post about it online
6. Do something cute but innocent for her, something which reminds her of the good times
7. (optional) keep doing something nice with her every now and then, showing her how much I've changed

>>18598986
>Get over her but still trying to win her back.

>>18598741

Why?

If it didn't work it didn't work.

Quit trying to put a square peg in a round hole.

>>18599001
Yes, because it probably won't work out in the end. If I never get to point 7 because I found someone new and better that's fine with me too. Then I probably won't miss her anymore. Until then the prospect of getting her back is great to keep me motivated.

>>18598741
Good luck OP, I'm trying to get back with my ex too. Here's a bump for you

>>18598914
>>18598925
I don't know how to help you, but here's a (You). Make your own thread about this, maybe someone else can help.

>>18598881
Seems like you got some issues to work out my dude

>>18598914
>>18598925
truly pathetic

>>18598986
>Improve myself
why does everyone say this? why do you think this is how it works? an "improved" version of you is still you, the person that the relationship didn't work out with.

>>18599825
Because everyone has an aspect of themselves that needs improving. Including you, you negative fuck.

can someone tell me why they'd ever want to get back with an ex? things end for a reason

>>18599828
i didn't imply that i don't. i said trying to improve yourself for the sake of a failing relationship often does not work. it's the go-to response for people that want to salvage a sinking ship and i want to know why that is.

>>18599847
i think a lot of the time the person made a mistake, or some shit went down
for me it was part of me growing as a person and being less of an asshole and regretting cheating on her.

>>18599852
there's no harm in trying.

>>18599857
you're not wrong, but people tend to rush into it without first taking a step back and thinking it through. they just miss the person they spent time with and all of the problems get lost in the haze of nostalgia.

>>18598741
you dont want to do that

Leave my girlfriend alone, OP.

>>18599808
I'm well aware it sounds pathetic, since I'm posting on 4chan. That's besides the point. It's a fucking advice board

>>18599989
If she was interested, she'd be sucking your dick tonight.

>>18598851
>it inevitably fails all over again
That is called not actually trying anon....

>>18600024
Dude did u even read the post she's like 4 hours away and pretty poor

Yeah, don't do it.

>>18600032
Oh, so she's sucking someone else's dick tonight then?

She must not be interested. Fuck off.

>>18599989
dude just stop fucking chasing her.

I hate women who lead people on and act dumbfounded when there are feelings, but its fuckers like you who enable this type of behavior by chasing the bitch

>>18600030
She's your ex for a reason.

She can't un-suck his dick.

She can't un-fuck his cock.

She can't take back those text messages.

Not in a position to argue from experience, but by mere process of deduction, the very idea of getting your ex back, sounds like a bad idea. She is bound to be your ex for a reason. The reason it ended badly the first time, is bound to become the reason it ends badly the next time. And in some cases, depending on what that reason is, it is bound to get worse and worse.

If it ended because she was gunning for chad, there won't be anything stopping her from breaking up again when she sees the next potential upgrade, and moreso than before, because now she knows you'll take her back if her upgrade predictably doesn't work out.
If it ended because she confuses her own shit-tests for genuine grievances and ends up being a psycho, she is going to be a psycho the next time, too.
If it ended because she cheats, she will cheat again.
If it ended because the sex was stale, the sex will turn stale again.
If it ended because you cheat, you will cheat again.
If it ended because etc etc etc etc

Every reason for your relationship failing the first time, will inevitable happen again. People are that way.

>>18600043
I see what you're saying but I'm not like the cringy "I'll be your friend type" and don't think I'm rly enabling her. I've just been alone for the past couple of years not in school and haven't really met anyone as interesting as her. I'm pretty good looking and confident in general, so I'm just counting down the days till I go back to college and fucking meet some new people so I can stop romanticizing this one girl.

I have. We ran into each other at a gathering and started talking again. She ended up lying to me and cheating on me. Again.

>>18600045
This guy speaks truth.

It's really great to think about. You had good times before, right? And you're lonely right now, so why not try to go back to that old familiar happy place of being with that girl? It's such a comfy idea.

And that's how I ruined 3 years of my adult life. When it's over, it's fucking over. Move on. It hurts for a long, long time, and then one day, it doesn't. It's brutal but it's true. You just have to live with it.

>>18598914
Lol you are literally emotionally berating this girl into having sex with you

go get some panties from walmart or something and leave her alone

>>18600077
m8 I wouldn't be nearly as hung up on her if it was just for sex... I've done casual sex from tinder sluts for the past couple of years, I just met up with someone last night. It gets kinda depressing afterwards desu. With this girl they're real feelings... irrational maybe, but still feelings

>>18600054
Do you have any friends? If so, hang out with them. Don't hang out with the girl. Even though I've never been in a relationship, I've seen many of my friends be torn asunder by the flinging emotions between a crush and them.

Although I don't really experience powerful emotions that much so I can't relate tho

>>18600103
I do have friends and I'll see them once a week maybe. They're good friends, since I went to a k-12 school growing up. I've just kinda grown bored of them, and hanging out with them usually ends up being the same every time. that's why I'm so ready to back to school, it'll be much easier to judge this situation with the girl when I'm surrounded by other people. This month is gonna go by so slow...

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>>18600119
It seems like you're already suffering from it old bean.

This happened to my friends excessively. They get hung up on a girl and then the thought and feeling of hanging out becomes so monotone because you get addicted Oxycontin release that you get from talking to a girl.

Even if you go to school, you're going to have the imprints of this girl etched into your soul. You're going to crave that Oxycontin release.

You're going to remember the velvet tufted feeling of her skin, her opalescent smell, and her charm from just talking to her. You're eventually going to cave in and attempt to talk to this girl again(this is why people contact their exes again). If you honestly believe you can forgot everything about this girl when you're at school, then I believe you.

>>18600045
What if the reasons were related to you being a person you don't want to be?
I took a step back and saw that I had become someone very unlikable. And weather I get her back or not, I need to work on myself. I wasn't who I was when I got into the relationship.

>>18600145
No I was already bored of them before I was talking to this girl seriously. And no i definitely won't completely forget about this girl at school, I'll be closer to her after all. I'll certainly be more distracted with other things, school work, new people. It's easy to think so much about her when I'm at home during the summer working as a dog walker and not going out much.

>>18600163
Say as you will dude. From analyzing your behavior from your greentext, you're going to cave in and its going to hurt

>>18598914
Dude I know it hurts, but ya have to let go, I've been there more than once, it. is. over. she. is. not. interested.

Made a thread and its already pretty much dead. So I guess I might as well post it here

I broke up with my (now ex) gf a bit more than 2 weeks ago. It lasted 2 months. We broke up through text. Basically, things have been going to shit with her distancing herself and me distancing myself. She doesn't love me anymore and doesn't know why (I did a lot of bad shit so I think I know why, but still, it's tough to pin point everything). I told her that I still have feelings for her. When our relationship was starting to go to shit, she started showing less and less affection towards me, yet she would text me non stop. She would initiate conversations and keep them going. It looks like she actually enjoyed talking to me. This makes me incredibly confused.

Basically, I want her back. We haven't talked to each other since we broke up. I've been waiting for her to contact me but it seems like that won't happen. Should I wait some more (till the 30 day mark) or should I contact her earlier?

>>18600189
>>18600213
Should I just completely refrain from talking to her? or just drop subtle hints

>>18600641
Imho say goodbye and then no contact for some months, until you feel confident it won't hurt you to see her with someone else. Then you can take it slow, like dating all over again.

>>18598925
You want a relationship and she doesn't. You either look for someone else or stick with her and keep on fooling yourself till she breaks your heart.

>>18600045

Not OP, but I really fucking needed to read this. Thank you anon.

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>>18600589
Not a single (You)

>>18601959
Well your first problem was breaking up through text. Shows a lack of maturity. If you want things to work you need to better your communication skills.

>>18598741
I've been in on again off again relationships a few times. It's a weird situation. The only way it really works is a weird emotional attraction. It's bad for you though.

>>18601964
Thanks for replying, friend.

I know, I've spent a lot of time looking back on our relationship. I should have been more direct and honest about many things too.

I do appreciate your advice, but still, should I contact her sooner or should I have some more time to myself to sort things out? I'm worried that she will move on.

>>18602017
Wait the 30 day mark. Initiate contact then if you still desire to. And if you do, make sure it's a positive conversation and not something that dwells on your past mistakes because that will likely push her away further. You want to remind her of the good times, not the shit that went down.

>>18602022
What if she moves on after 30 days?

After the first few texts, how should I go about getting closer to her? One of the reasons I got her to fall for me was because she found it easy opening up to me and I would often make her feel special and compliment her. I stopped doing that because I thought I did it too much and that's another reason why I fucked it all up.

>>18602027
You can contact her whenever you feel you need to. Just don't be too hopeful about the response you're going to get. Go into it without an open mind.

>>18602041
Thanks for the advice. What about
>After the first few texts, how should I go about getting closer to her? One of the reasons I got her to fall for me was because she found it easy opening up to me and I would often make her feel special and compliment her. I stopped doing that because I thought I did it too much and that's another reason why I fucked it all up.

though?

>>18602050
You didn't do too much. Girls appreciate gestures like that.

Get back to the person you originally were when she fell for you and prove that you're more willing to be dedicated to her now.

>>18602062
I understand that, however, when she fell for me I would often compliment her. If I do that again, will it push her away?

>>18602068
If you end up back on good terms, no it wouldn't push her away.

>>18602069
Thanks a lot for all of this anon. It seems like solid advice. I will contact her tomorrow. Wish me luck.

>>18598741
>Has anyone successfully gotten their ex back?
You tell them you want to give it another shot. chances are they either haven't reached the "fuck other people to get over their ex" stage, or they have and they think they regret it because it didn't work out too well.
But the reality is, you get back together, old problems come back, there's no "fresh start" and you end up breaking up again.

If it doesn't work the first time, it doesn't work the second, third or fourth, no matter how much effort is put into it, breaking up is a broken vase you can't quite fix.

>>18602074
I know I made mistakes and I know he's made mistakes as well but they are things that aren't serious and that can be overcome.

A fresh start is achievable as long as you stop dwelling on the shit that went wrong. It's almost like a clean slate.

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I don't that's a very good idea most of the times, I mean, while you were wallowing and miserable she probably was getting dicked every week until she decided to get back with you

>>18598741
Yes. We were part of the same social circle and kept in touch after the breakup and one night I made a move on her and the next morning she wanted to get back together again.

It was a mistake.

yes, but it was complicated, one might say ive never lost her