Being in a relationship with anger management issues

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Decent paint job on that space marine with power-fist

As for advice, maybe get a hobby that is physical and will let you vent.

It's a rough deal, man. And I can sorta relate to where you're coming from. I've had some anger issues in my own past and it's a tough balance to maintain.

But hey, that constant worry can be a really good guardian to your anger. You can take some strength from knowing that you are so adverse to hurting another being that it has to count for something. But also be careful, don't worry yourself into a deep frenzy and make the rest of your life worse because you can't cope. That said, don't give up therapy anytime soon because those professionals can help in leaps and bounds if you stick with a good one with a good program. And it never hurts to just have to someone to vent to emotionally.

So that leaves the physical problem. I suggest a hobby that not only will let you get out your excess energy but also learn to control it. For this, I suggest martial arts. It's such a killer workout and you learn infinitely valuable measures of control and balance and if you stick with it you should see major improvements.

Have faith in your ability to walk the line. You will need to find a good balance for everything and each day you'll have to do it for yourself but REMEMBER each day that you're also doing it for the people close to you.

Best of luck, man.

>>18597877
Same dude here with a few more thoughts.

Some time in the near future if things are going well I would suggest opening up to the girlfriend about this stuff because if she cares about you properly even a little then she should be understanding and even helpful. Plus if she knows what you're fighting against each day she might be able to help you through it. And... if not? Then I'm sorry to say that she might not be the one for you. And that is important. If something challenges you every day then you're gonna need the person you'll end up spending all your days with to be able to deal with it as well as you, maybe better than you depending.

Don't rule out medication from a therapist either. It doesn't work for some people but it can save lives with others. At least give it a go when you're comfortable with the idea or you think that you might still need that helping hand each day.

Keep a routine, man. Routine can annihilate some of our biggest faults and draw backs.
Cut down on mood destabilisers such as alcohol and drugs but that should already be obvious to you.

Seriously, look into doing martial arts on the regular. As someone who's done it professionally for over half a decade it is outstanding what kind of effect it can have on ANYONE.

Lastly, the moment you find yourself in the worst situation for your anger-management or mental health, fucking leave that spot, find somewhere and count to 10 (or bloody 100 if you have to), alone and slowly and get yourself together. Do your best to reinsert yourself back to where you were and try to build some confidence just by being in control.

Go for gold. Laters.

its not bad temper or "anger management issues"
its "i am a manchild who do not want to control his tantrums"

once you realise that you are behaving like a toddler, you will hopefully start controling yourself, discipline

>>18597913
I've literally been trying to control this my entire life. I would do anything for it to stop. It's far beyond a choice for me.

OP- my previous boyfriend had the same problems. Anger, especially in men, is often the result of depression or anxiety, which can be treated with meds. Is there anything you can think of that might fall under these lines? I had him see a therapist and take anti-anxiety meds that really mellowed him out, and I only broke up with him when he stopped taking the meds.

>>18597927
I have pretty bad anxiety but I've had abuse issues with xanax in the past so that isn't an option. I'm not depressed.

It's important to step back in moments of anger. Not physically, but mentally. Don't focus on what's happening, but observe.

I don't tend to argue with my girlfriend much, and we really haven't gotten into too many fights given that we've been together for 7 years. It's not that I don't get angry or upset, but instead of acting on those feelings, I question them. Why am I angry? What is she doing to enable me? Is this solving the problem? I just step outside of my emotions, and view the situation as it's happening in real life, not in my mind. When I do, I see that the person in front of me is simply upset about something that is important to them as well. If I see that she's enabling me, then I'll simply walk away because nothing can be resolved in a situation like that. She's merely trying to use me as an emotional punching bag.

So the first step is to regain conscious control. Start breathing again. Deep slow breaths. Once you've done that, stop listening, and stop taking things in. Pretend that it's a nice day in the park, and imagine the summer breeze. Think of the activities you'd like to do, and visualize yourself doing them. Once you're back to a more rational state, bring yourself back and observe. Is the person in front of you merely trying to enable you, or are they upset about something? Is this response reasonable and suitable given the circumstances? A lot of the time, you'll find that a lot of these conflicts are actually really stupid.

It's also important to exercise humility. Admit that you can have fault, and that your own reactions can be blown out of proportion.

Dealing with anger just takes self-exploration, and trial and error. I don't think there could ever be a cookie cutter solution to prevent everybody from getting angry like that, as quite often it's never one event that leads to said anger, but a series of events and bottled up emotions that were never resolved.

>afraid im gonna hit her

just fucking control yourself, you cunt. it's not that hard.