So much energy you become lazy?

Have you ever seen a therapist? Sounds like it could be something like ADHD (which can manifest mentally as opposed to physically). Possibly with some executive dysfunction?

A lot of people just throw around "try meditation", but in your case I think it might be able to help.

You also need to come to terms with the fact that you're never going to be able to do anything. So, might as well make sure you do -something-. It doesn't have to be perfect. I have so many things that I want to do but there's a few things I keep falling back into no matter what I do. I chose to revolve my life around those and it's going better than when I tried to do everything or anything else.

>>18597230
*never going to be able to do everything

Whoops, kindof an important distinction there.

>>18597221
>'s to damn much. I'm simply overwhelmed by this everything and end up doing nothing and looking like (and in fact being) a shy, lazy, bored faggot that doesn't go anywhere, even though I want to go everywhere.

Try meditation

But I also think you need some structure and a plan of attack.

it may be a big field but you can section off work ,break it down into executable steps to help you learn and get your goals done.

Always be working on a finishable task instead of going cowboy and mindlessly tackling every aspect of the problem without any sort of objective.

Use a task list

>>18597239
This is good advice, too

>>18597230
>Have you ever seen a therapist?
Went to a psych a couple of times because of depression (mostly caused by what I've just mentioned). Felt like talking to a Freud-textbook. No human-interaction, no understanding. Just analyzing, trying to categorize and fit me into page X of said textbook. Without any success ofc. Was so not-helpful it even contributed to me stopping Uni.
But for ADHD specifically - no, not at all. I've thought about it, but that's about it. Could make sense though. I was an extremely energetic, active and always smiling child. That somehow changed. I still have that drive inside of me, but, as I've said, I just can't focus this drive and end up doing nothing at all. Peak of that was said depression, where I wasn't even able to leave my room for days at times. Now I'm permanently out of the house, just completely unable doing anything productive.

It's so bad I can't even finish a book anymore. I have like 30 unread or only partially read books. The moment I start one, I want to start another. I want to get through with all of them asap. I can't do one after another.

>You also need to come to terms with the fact that you're never going to be able to do anything.
But admitting that would completely obliterate one of my core believes: I can and will do everything. Anyone else can't. I can. I will not settle with mediocrity and let things I care about slip. If I admit I can not, that believe will fade and I will become the lazy faggot even on the inside.

>>18597239
Completely right for the concrete. Unforunately, not so much for the abstract. When working (in a business sense), I have absolutely no problem going step after step and attacking problems with structure. I just can't do it with my life.

>Try meditation
Tried it once or twice, felt kinda good. Same problem though. I can't start slow. If I start doing it, I want to become Zen-master level. And that better be right fucking now.

>>18597250
>I just can't do it with my life.

Just organize your daily routine into different section in which you can cross of your desired acitivites.

e.g.

9AM-10:30AM:

[] do this
[] do that
[] blah blah

>I can't start slow. If I start doing it, I want to become Zen-master level. And that better be right fucking now.

You quickly learn in meditation, you cannot force insight.

>And that better be right fucking now.

It won't happen in a day for sure. But you really had a drive to, you can achieve a lot in a short amount of time.

I think you just need reallocate your energy into your own desired routines that you create for yourself. You can get a lot done if you can follow structure

>>18597250
Sounds like you might also have a perfectionistic streak. Easier for you to not do things than do something incompletely or imperfectly.

I disagree with the whole "giving up and becoming lazy" You KNOW that trying to do everything doesn't work. You've tried it and it hasn't. You can do ANYTHING, but you can't do EVERYTHING. You can do lots of things, but you can't do everything. So you need to limit your options. Not to be lazy, but to be productive.

The human brain can't handle doing too many things at once. The more you multitask, the less effective you are at any of the tasks. This is scientifically proven.

Pick a few things to focus on. Because that is the only way you can actually -do- any of them. Five things, ten things, something like that. You have to limit yourself or you will be paralyzed the way you have been. Again, this isn't giving up. This is channeling your energy. This is honing your skills, this is making yourself good at something instead of just flailing around trying to do too much.

Also I think keeping a journal will benefit you

>>18597270
I've tried that. Didn't work. I want it to work, but I just can't figure out how to get myself to the point where it works. I've been in the military, I know structure and the benefits ffs. Why can I not apply it to my own life?

>It won't happen in a day for sure. But you really had a drive to, you can achieve a lot in a short amount of time.
That's the point. I know what I could achieve if I'd just focus my drive. But I can't. That's the damn tragedy. I used like 5% of my energy during school and was way better than any of my friends. I always knew that if I'd just up it to 30-50% I'd be at 10/10 in pretty much any subject. Notice: I didn't believe that, I KNEW it for a fact. But why even do, if you know you can anyways. Right?

>>18597275
Everything you say is correct. Even read up on things like perfectionism. I thought about this shit for years - I know the solutions. I just can't apply them and I don't fucking know how to get myself to do it.

Maybe afraid of actually achieving as much as I know I can?

Me being as impatient as I am, doesn't make this easier (probably as impatient because I can't focus). And don't mistake this impatience. Someone owing me money? Whatever, give me anywhere. But me reading a book? Right fucking now, the whole thing. Me having a great idea where to travel and spend the next year? Better get me a flight right now, or I'll get bored of the idea and forget about it within days. Even with clothing. I see something - I must have it RIGHT NOW. If I don't, I'll probably never ever buy it.

>>18597277
Think so aswell. Did that a couple of times. But again, I can't stick through with it.

>>18597221
>plz help me I'm just too smart and talented and good looking and energetic I don't know what to do

>>18597295

You have capacity, you just need to exert the right effort on the right things

You know what, I think you really need Meditation. It focuses all of your mental energy in one task. It may help you. But you gotta stick with it, as a daily practice.

http://www.dhammatalks.org/mp3_guidedMed_index.html

It's completely secular despite the Buddhist teacher

>>18597305
I'm too smart, talented and good looking and energetic to be an unproductive, lazy piece of shit, yes. Fact is, right now I am an unproductive, lazy piece of shit, incapable of changing this fact alone. Why wouldn't I ask for help?

>>18597309
>You know what, I think you really need Meditation.
Think that aswell. I'll look through the link and I'll try doing it daily from now on. Promise.

But I'm sceptic if this is suited to really attack the deepest core of my problem.

>>18597309
Just tried this this morning and it makes the problem quite clear. In Kerouacs word I'm "mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time".

Meditation only amplify this. I'm uplifted as fuck, but I don't know what to do. It's completely overwhelming. I can barely sit still, but I can't walk anywhere. This incapability will only lead me to vidya or hanging with friends again. Just nothing productive.

>>18598417
i know the feeling. i also happen to be addicted to cannabis so thats the outlet for my anxiety.
tough shit just get off your ass and do something.
write 5 things. do one a day.
then 10 things and 2 a day
etc

here ill write the first things:
job application
university application
volenteer application
think up a home buisness
go and meet an old friend