Dating a minimalist

>>18594325
>Sometimes you wanted your partner to dressed nice and all but since he's hated fancy stuff it seems like he won't be changed anytime soon.
Have you actually told him this?
I'm pretty thrifty myself and usually buy everyfucking thing secondhand, but if my girlfriend wanted me to look sharp for a date I would do it.

>>18594332
I don't know how to talk to him about it since it could offend him? I thought so for a really long time and I don't want to sound like am judging him or others for the way they dressed

>>18594341
"I would really love if you wore a suit on this date" the next time you go out to dinner

>>18594346
But we only go to some casual restaurant, suits would be too much for those places actually

>>18594349
Then go to a fancier place if you want him to dress fancier.

>>18594354
He doesn't like fancy places. This's insane actually but I guess if only men can dress like the one in my first post it would be great. I don't ask much actually. Why is it so hard for you guys

>>18594357
>I don't ask much actually
Back to my original question.

Did you actually ask him about this or are you just assuming he would never change?

It is hard for us guys because we are not fucking mind readers. Talk to him about it.

>>18594325
Being a minimalist is a good thing, you know he's tight about money. Would you rather be a 40-hour computer programmer who had the latest phone, the fanciest clothes, and had to deal with debt, or just the guy you have with the simpleness he enjoys?

>>18594357
Take him shopping sometime and help him pick out clothes you really like. Just respect his desire to not spend a lot of money so don't make him buy Vetements or some fashion shit that is exorbitantly expensive.

Hell, you can probably find stuff at Goodwill that you would like

>>18594349
Okay, replace 'suit' with whatever the fuck it is you want him to wear

>>18594325
So what if he doesnt have a smartphone. Good for him not letting technology consume him. Let me guess he doesnt have an ig/sc account? Good.

>>18594325
You could probably convince him to get a better wardrobe but there's no reason for you to expect him to get newer phones or whatever

>>18594361
Ehhh it's not always good. Maybe I am a materialistic then? Perhaps we're not competitive enough.
>>18594363
This. I'm considering going to shop stuff together sometime soon. Let's see if he would follow my suggestions
>>18594367
Why is it good? What if you wanted to send something funny or meaningful to your SO and then you can't because they don't have a smartphone? You still have a smartphone and not having ig/sc

>>18594376
>What if you wanted to send something funny or meaningful to your SO and then you can't because they don't have a smartphone?
Then send it as a text message.

Or better yet, show it in person.

>>18594325

OP, you write like you're mostly illiterate.

So I'm guessing you're just dating a guy who is too poor to know any better. So it's a good match, I guess.

>>18594376
You can text them that but maybe you meant memes. Ya know before memes shit got around too.

What kind of person are you like and how long have you been dating?

Personally these all sound like good traits to find in a man. Either he's seen some shit or figured out some shit, but this is a man who knows who he is and sees the world in a certain light. I can't tell you if this is a man you want to stay with, or if you two are compatible or if you will be happy with him. All I know is he's got an eagle's eyes and I would love to break bread with him.

>>18594325
You know, if you turn a condom inside out, you can use it twice.

Does he do that?

Your boyfriend sounds a lot like me. I save my money and then I spend it on the things I do care about (audio equipment, guitar gear, etc). I didn't own a cell phone for many years and when I decided to get one, I went the non-smartphone route because I didn't want to have something I'd be glued to at every minute. I eventually made the switch a few years back though. I enjoy dressing nice but I feel I have no reason to do so, so I often just wear a black shirt with pants or shorts. If my girlfriend asked me to or I know the situation calls for it, I have no problem making sure I look my best though.

As for why I'm this way, probably because of my mother. I grew up poor but my mother made sure to always buy the nicest things so that our house was beautiful. She got her hair and nails done every other week and always dressed really stylish. I didn't care about any of that stuff and we would sometimes fight about it because I wished she would just spend more time at home and less time working to afford all of this stupid shit that she claimed was for me so that I could enjoy a life she never had. She was more interested in keeping up appearances while I was more interested in living life.

>>18594357
why do you care this much about superficial things

>>18594382
Top kek.

OP you are superficial. Your bf has direction and values in life. He's a keeper.

Try with a more feminine and dumb manchild.

Boyfriend sounds too good for you, DESU.

>>18594325
He's autistic. Find a guide on how to deal with an autistic partner. It's very easy, but you sound like the kind of person that will fuck it up anyways.

>>18595515
yeah, he has more self-value than anyone in our culture, knowing how to not spend a lot of money and effort getting frivolous unecessary shit, and she's annoyed he doesn't have "dick compensation" stuff in clothing, car, etc.

As in, he isn't showing he has normally desired value to females, and this makes her annoyed because she can't parade him around.

Seriously, fuck this op. Shes a cunt.

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Stop trying to ruin this guy. He sounds like he's got a good thing going on

>>18594690
>I didn't own a cell phone for many years and when I decided to get one, I went the non-smartphone route because I didn't want to have something I'd be glued to at every minute. I eventually made the switch a few years back though. I enjoy dressing nice but I feel I have no reason to do so, so I often just wear a black shirt with pants or shorts.

PETER PAN SYNDROME INCOMING. RUN!

No man should wear shorts past 20. You look like a fag and your shits all retarded. Grow up.

>>18595801
t. forever bound to the shackles of others' opinions

>>18595801
What did Pete ever do to get this negative connotation attached to him?

>>18595877
Not meet female demands... he is literally the mascot for MGTOW.

This is a basic thing about women. They have a psychological NEED for a man to spend money on them and for there man to look like money so they can show off their mate. It can't be helped.

I think he has to learn that sometimes you just have to appease society and splurge on a fancy thing occasionally. The challenge is women will always want more and more and compare to what their friends are getting.

A man never "treats himself", that's totally a female trait. Every guy I know spends almost nothing until a girlfriend is in the picture.

I admire the guy's style, but sadly he'll have to compromise or find some kind of ultra vegan hipster type woman. It's sad that we toss out entire pieces of clothes because of a stain the size of a pea.

>>18594325
You didn't say if he's actually poor or not. This guy sounds like he is genuinely too poor to afford these things. You can't make him pay for things he knows he can't afford. He would probably change if he had any god damn money. This question sounds too stupid without any context to what job he has.

>>18594325
>but I don't care
>will he change? i'm stressed

>>18595785
>and this makes her annoyed because she can't parade him around.
This this this this this this this...

This is the fucking crux of the problem... OP is a vain b*tch who's annoyed she cant parade her boyfriend around in nice clothes, take selfies with him etc...

Fuck, your bf is probably a super chill dude
>would buy him a beer

>>18594325
Autism. Actual irl autism.

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>>18594325
> itt: Op found one of the smarter males, is """""stressed""""" over his lack of material serfdom, and wonders if bf is poor/scrooge.

Yes Amanda, a big sending, credit abusing hoarder is exactly what you want darling.

>>18594357
>if only men can dress like the one in my first post it would be great.
Hold on, that outfit is NOT very expensive.
Polo and jeans, and wtf the accessories are shit that you need anyway, hat scarf and sunglasses? a pair of boots? come on.
He has to work on his style. That doesn't have to be expensive, but it takes time and it has to be an interest of his.

Just sounds like a poor guy

>>18594325

Tell him you're a cunt so he can enjoy his life without a gold digger like you. The bloke sounds like a well-balanced champ not caught up in 1st world materialistic bullshit and you're buttmad you can't parade him around as a status symbol/can't milk him for money cause you know he's too smart to buy your dumb ass a wedding ring.

He deserves better than you and you need to take a trip on LSD and find yourself or something.

Why do you want to change him? Even if he did change, you'd find fault with that too.

This thread is cancer. Delete this pls

>>18594325
op. Dolly Parton once said that shoes don't stretch and men don't change.

Find someone that's more like you, you don't want to marry this guy so move on

Can I have your boyfriend?

lol No, but seriously, I wish less people would drive and owned smartphones, I am fucking bored of people who outsource all their brains to their phones. Also second hand >>> fast fashion.

>>18594376
>What if you wanted to send something funny or meaningful to your SO and then you can't because they don't have a smartphone?
Then you show him. You know...in real life. Like an actual couple does.

>>18596529
Ehh wait until telling him in person, the moment is over.
To everyone that say it's all my bad and he's the good guy.
Of course he's the good one that's why I dated him, I was just wondering about this whole situation and how do I improve it. Of course you will be happier if your SO is someone cares about their appearance. Who says it doesn't matter. It matter.
Maybe what others saying about the psychological thing was right, but mem has their problem and expectations for women as well, just because it's different things doesn't mean men are all angels and only women being materialistic.
Imagine if you guys dating a girl that can't cook, you might be alright with it and saying that you don't care but deep down you know it better if she knows how to cook.
Double standards.

>>18594325 >>18594357
He's well traveled, down-to-earth with typical male interest in sports, has a job that probably has career advancement, has a secondary source of income, and has a sustainable life-style for his income.

He probably has a 401k and healthcare too line up, how dare him.

If you really dislike his lifestyle, then you either talk to him like an actual relationship or end your relationship because it'll just end with you going behind his back and fucking some guy who is more aligned with what you're looking for.

You're only stressed because you realize he's not going to sit there and shower you with gifts and a better lifestyle than you already have.

>>18596657
No there will be no career for him at all since he's a social worker.
He sell stuff online but mostly low priced stuff.
I don't know about 401k as I don't care.
But yeah he has his good peak. I'll just focus on it. I don't think I will ever like it or belong to thus life style. I'll just learn how to live with it instead

>>18594325

Whether you are a man or a woman, money is very key factor in relationships.

If you are thrifty you need to be with someone thrifty. If you like to spend and live large you need to be with someone who is the same.

>>18596983
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkKIpSiHEdk

This is OP. She's a cunt because women are cunts in general.

>>18594341
>offend

You know what else would offend him?
If you left him without ever talking about the issues you're having with him....

look for a wealthy handsome guy, you dont actually like "poor" handsome guys

i wonder how many times i got judged like this by previous gfs, but whatever

>>18597661
>If you left him without ever talking about the issues you're having with him....

talking about how she cant stand that he's not afflicted by status hunger and avarice due to programming by culture would also be quite offensive.

The problem, and the difference between your lifestyles essentially equates to different levels of gratification.

Explaining this further is difficult.

In as short as I can manage:

There is a tendency for the activities of our generation to be more inclined towards that of the instant gratification afforded by modern social media. Your boyfriend is attempting to lead a lifestyle that will afford him more wholesome gratification by spending more time to create more fulfilling experiences in the real world.

At present, your lifestyles are incompatible. You can't comprehend how he can be comfortable living the way he does, because currently, you are looking to others to define how you should be comfortable living. The people you seek approval from. Social media.

On the other hand, he likely can't comprehend how you can find endless joy staring and tapping away on your smartphone when he's 3 feet away from you in the same room. Never fully paying attention to what is happening around you, because you have to share it with everybody else.

Avid consumption of social media can have many psychological affects, especially when it comes to personal devices. It's all too easy to just flick your phone on whenever you get bored, but what you can't realize is the effect that has on your mind.

I'm not going to say that either of you is right or wrong, you're free to live your lives as you choose, but please, do choose.

>>18595801
Try saying that to my golf shorts queerboy. I'd take a look at myself if I were you, telling someone to grow up while you go around calling people fags because they wear shorts after an arbitrary age.

>>18594325
I've been slowly moving towards the minimalist lifestyle. I've reached a point where being a slave to material objects/ technology/ social media doesn't seem appealing to me. Unfortunately I still need some of these things in particular my smartphone and car but, I wish I didn't. I also think I dress well but, do so without breaking the bank.

It's possible that your boyfriend might be poor, but its also possible he's not. Chances are he's not gonna go back. And he'll probably start to hate you if you try to make him.

The one thing you can change is how he dresses. It might just be possible that he has no sense of fashion. You can still buy nice clothes at thrift stores. (especially if you go to thrift stores in wealthy communities, I've even found designer clothes in some)

>He might be poor, or he's really tight.
>Minimalist, doesn't like to buy stuff.
>I'm stressed.
>I'm stressed.


/pol/ was right, women really are jewish golems.

So what bitch, you got a job right?
Earn your own damn money and spend it however you like, stop worrying about other peoples finances.

>>18596015

yeah so we opened a pair of questions:

why OP's bf still loses his time with OP? He's pretty great in managing everything except the way he chooses SO.

why OP is so upset about her bf being so in control?

why OP is trying to take back control parading around his bf?

I think we are seeing the classical emasculating feminist dynamic in here. She's full of penis envy like a toxic garbage cask. She wants him to dress like a metrosexual manchild, speaking well with her parents, listening to the bullshits of her girlfriends, showing up in mundane occasion to put people in awe, speaking as a well done acritical cow and denying all his values that, for the fact that were built up intrinsically and powerfully, took him where he is at now.

I don't think she's jewilish, I think this behaviour is quite christian indeed. She wants the wolf to become a sheep.

OP's bf, if you are reading: leave this cunt.

>>18598604
After all that I'm just wondering why she's with him to begin with. Is he attractive? Maybe she likes his personality?

>>18594325

Why are you so stressed about this? It's not like he hid anything from you. You knew what kind of lifestyle he led when you met him, so you can't really ask him to change all that just to meet your standards.

Some people just don't need validation from material items. They are more practical and purchase things when they need them, for the lowest price. This is admirable and generally, these people tend to be able to save money more easily than those who judge their value on what phone they have, or what brand of clothing they're wearing.

I understand what occasionally you want to splash out and make a real effort. Why not try compromising with your boyfriend - perhaps offer to take him to a place which is nice, more upmarket than he's used to, but not pretentious or intimidating. There are lots of gastropubs and similar places which are nice, without being overly busy.

If you don't want to compromise, then it seems as though you have completely different values and perhaps aren't that well matched. You need to think about what you actually want in a partner, and decide whether he can possibly offer them without completely changing his personality.

Omg, did I stumble onto the /r9k or /fit board?

Oh, no, just a bunch of blue balled beta bitches attacking op because they're virgin neckbeard faggots who can't get laid and are jealous a real man can do so without needing to flash.

Anyone have that story of the girl who dumps the guy for not liking to spend money/seems poor and turns out hes loaded as fuck.

>>18594325
OP, for me, his career would be the make-or-break aspect of his personality. I know people like this who are excellent programmers, marketers, activists...I also know some people who are just hippies.

Either way, how is it your business if he isn't interested in status and smartphones? It sounds like he wants other people out of his head, which is actually very admirable.

So long as he has a full keyboard on his phone, and a laptop to interact with modern society, I don't see the problem at all. If you judge this guy by his material possessions and pretentious connections, then you don't deserve him.

>>18598751

we are actually defending the man, so we are not envious. Basic logic.

>>18598812
You're attacking the girl for not wanting to date someone who doesn't show value with clothing, car, etc.

So you are jealous and taking it out on her. Basic logic.

>>18597661
This

>>18594381
This

>>18598818
No, they're doing it because she's coming off shallow.

>>18598818

I don't give a fuck about who is the girl dating. Or about whoever is dating whoever.

If you want to know, I would not date her, EVER.

>>18598839

This.

Moreover, I'm "attacking" the girl because she is "stressed", poor girl. She is stressed because her boyfriend is not made in China.

You see, thing is that nowadays it's easier to have a gf (a job, a social life) if you meet the standars.

OP has the chance to see after the calling card, isn't it?

>tfw you're like the man in question and reading this thread only served to solidify your views that you'll be forever alone because it's "stressful" to your SO if you reject consumerism, and any gf to be had will leave you promptly

>>18598915
>tfw you post your bullshit defeatism on 4chan to feel sorry for yourself

>>18594357

>why is it so hard for you guys

because you literally expect him to read your mind instead of just talking about it.

>implying is really insane to not like fancy places

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>>18594357
Why do you want him to dress like some hipster douche?? I can understand if you want him to look professional, but it sounds like you are being vainglorious.

I dress nice every day I go to work. On vacations and my days off I like to wear shorts. Sounds like you are the one that needs to grow up because you cannot accept that people are going to do things you don't always agree with.

>>18598818

jealous of what?

>>18598818
This. You guys are attacking a girl for her opinion.
Like you guys won't judge uf a girl can't cook

>>18599092
dumb guys do that

>>18599099
Most guys are dumb. The rest could be idiot.

>>18599104

Yeah, and the remaining idiots mate with girls whom cannot cook, but let them dress how they like and do not take them to fancy places if they don't want to.

You'll have to get to know him better to figure it out.

Lots of rich guys will keep their old clothes, not have a smartphone etc. (and who really need many pairs of jeans?). It's not that we can't upgrade everything in a blink, it's just that we aren't bothered. I don't have a car, I have a city apartment with everything around me, including a train station. Of course this threads probably full of guys in third-world tier poverty, this is 4chan.

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>>18594357
>if only men can dress like the one in my first post it would be great.

>>18599366

genius!!!!

OP's bf is ugly.

All these people ragging on OP for being superficial, fuck off

As a dude as well, recognize that it's totally normal to want to dress up sometimes. Plus, being thrifty is one thing, but op's bf level of thriftiness would be difficult to live with for most people.

To OP, you're not overly materialistic or selfish, and you need to have an honest talk with your bf about making your lifestyles work TOGETHER

>>18599853
>All these people ragging on OP for being superficial, fuck off

Holy shit, I see the light. "fuck off". Such a simple and elegant arguement, how could I not see it? How wrong was I?

Oh right, you don't actually have a point because you're a shit eating social climbing parasitic cunt bag.

>As a dude as well, recognize that it's totally normal to want to dress up sometimes. Plus, being thrifty is one thing, but op's bf level of thriftiness would be difficult to live with for most people.

Now this would be a good point, bar for one small thing;
OP's boyfriend isn't forcing ANYONE to live the same lifestyle.

If OP wants to go out and dress up, she's more than welcome to, without him.

It's actually the other way around, in that OP wants to drag him out to these events and force her lifestyle on him.

>To OP, you're not overly materialistic or selfish, and you need to have an honest talk with your bf about making your lifestyles work TOGETHER

Or to summarise, change him, not yourself, YOU GO GURL. You're doing everything fine and right.

Holy shit seriously, it's like you're licking the screen just imagining it's OP's pussy.

>>18599853

you say "sometimes". You're right, maybe.

but you missed this:

>bf is anormal
>bf doesn't like fancy things so he must be insane

read up

>>18594376

>ig/sc

Don't use either of those. I still have a Nokia 3650 I bought over a decade ago. Most of my income goes into investments so I can retire early.

But, of course, you should encourage your man to buy stupid shit so that the two of you get married and have to work into your 60's because you in particular have piss poor money management skills.

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This entire thread is proof of money/power/fame

>>18599890
>Most of my income goes into investments so I can retire early.

h-how to?

>a mediocre office job
There's no such thing as a mediocre anything above minimum wage, let alone a fucking office job. I'd avoid calling it in front of him unless he's joking about it himself.
>he kinda tight about money
>likes sports and nature
Your boyfriend is really fucking ambitious, either saving for a house or saving for a dream investment.

Unless he's taking you to some dress occasion wearing a beanie and a tee, you've found a kind of person who's a rare treasure in the states, and I wouldn't do anything to change his habits. A lot of people hit their 50's and start sobbing about never getting their nice house in the country, all while blowing money egregiously every month. That's someone who can have that though.

>>18594357
You're a stupid whore