Need help with toxic family member

>>18593876

Their true nature is to be dominating and cruel. Treat each and everyone they knew like a normal person but me as barely human, especially when we were alone. Very few people other than my family know about their true nature.

They somehow want to own me and see the act of me shutting them out as overtaking 'their' property. I am forced to meet them whenever there are family gatherings, when we do meet, they regularly demean and degrade me.

They constantly try to turn my parents against me and barge into my life with the pretense of 'helping' me. I dont even ask for their help. Its almost amusing because they then proceed to try and control each and every little thing, its like they want to live through me. In the end, all the helping does is give them an excuse to barge into my life and continue their toxic behavior.

How do I deal with this? Another thing about this person is that you can never hold a normal conversation without it turning into a fight. It seems, especially with me, they HAVE to put me down every time. So I can either let up ( which I usually do because figting them means a full on screaming match) or have a nice public screaming match with them, which is shit.
They are highly manipulative to the point of sociopathy. In the near future, I'll be forced to interact with them a lot and even negotiate with them. This person has never respected me as family nor as a human being but takes every chance to barge into my life. They are also trying to convince my parents about how I should let them into my life always but as my whole life has taught me, that is plain wrong.

How do I deal with such a person?

>>18593876
Probably dealing with a lot of insecurities and shit and is generally afraid of people and gets shit on a lot. But has a huge amount of comfort with you so all the pain comes out as an assault to affirm his/herself. My big clue is the fact you mentioned theyre cool around everyone but you and seeks to dominate you.

They got a lot to deal with and probably needs a doctor.

Im not a fan at all of freudian or jungian psychology as its unscientific and relies on observation based on no test models, and applies blanket solutions to unique individuals.. ill make that clear, even though thats exactly what im doing now...


But ive met people like this enough in my life and this has generally been the pattern. People need to feel in control of their lives and they need to feel affirmed.

If everyone around them misunderstands them or treats them like filth, theyre usually going to try and dominate someone around whom they feel most comfortable.

It isnt a conscious decision, so dont thinm your family member is driving home going "ima get anon to feel better nyahhh". Its more subconscious than that. But id bet all my pogs thats exactly whats happening here...

>>18593876

I reckon you need to get proof of their vile rotting corpse of a character, and show it to the rest of your family.

For example, in >>61734697 this thread over on /g/, one guy explains how he uses a special voice recording program on an old smartphone to record people.

You could do something like that, and then record some private interactions between you and your siblings that really show their two-faced nature and how they really treat you when no one's watching.

Once you out them to the family, their influence in the family could fall out under them, and they could lose the organizational power they have to impose onto your life.

Its a shame about them trying to control you of top of treating you like shit. I hope you don't let them, one millimeter. This sort of thing usually takes a long time to gain a handle on. For example in my family, I'm the youngest but have the strongest will. I don't impose on anyone at all. But, if any of my family ever thought of controlling my life, they'd shit their pants. I did this through years of social engineering, right from childhood; It took a long time.

>>18593930

Oh huh. I misread your post - i didn't see that your family already knew of their shittiness.

Regardless, i would still hold to the same general idea. Obtain proof of just how revolting their behavior is, and show it to your parents. Try to get them on your side, so that they can come to your aid/stand with you when the pos tries to mess with your life.

In general though, i would be focussed on getting effectively away, and/or turning the tables and very steatgically destroying them. But i speak as one used to having all the rank in these situations..

Also, lemme try link that /g/ thread again..

>>>61734697

>>18593889
>
If everyone around them misunderstands them or treats them like filth, theyre usually going to try and dominate someone around whom they feel most comfortable.

At the time of happening of most of the incidents they had pretty much an okay life. I've been through this cycle many times let them in and its only a matter of time before they shove their egos on me. Its always been about their ego whenever we have a conversation, talking to them is like talking to a fake TV character, I dont think keeping them in my life is healthy for me. All there is, is suffering, degradation, hate and manipulation. Any minor conversations we did ever have consisted of them mining for information, anytime I ask a question they explode on me. Its just pointless at this point. I just want to know how to keep this person away from me and my family. How do you cut a person off who is evil and driven enough to spend time and effort into drilling into your life to fuck with you?

>>18593957

I want to avoid interaction with them as much as possible. I just want to find a way to keep them away. At this point I know that they're evil, I just need a way to keep them out and away from my loved ones. I may have an SO in the future, a family, I dont want this person bringing that filth in for their own enjoyment again. How do I protect my interests and loved ones?

>>18594034

I think probably the only feasible option is to move to another country.

My father had a brother who was something like this. My dad eventually upped and left; moved 6000 miles away and has had a peaceful life since. I don't even know this uncle and my dad never talks about him. Pretty good situation, really.

Failing this, i suppose you could look at getting a restraining order. Though i have no idea how those things work, or what their requirements are.

That said, think about it -- what this person is doing to you is just like an abusive partner. If the law has protections in that situation, surely there'll be something for familial relationships?

I'd go for the moving countries option myself though.
Maybe both?

If you hadn't written such a fucking repetitive essay with that awful, awful use of the third person plural, I might have been tempted to respond more positively, but it definitely seems as though you have issues yourself.