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So about a year ago, I started college a long way from home, where I was completely alone and didn't know anyone or have any friends. Met this guy in my class, and I think we got along really well. We didn't hang out outside of classes every day or even every week, but it felt like we were pretty close by the end of the year. His parents only live about an hour away, so he'd usually just go there and hang out with his old friends on weekends or whatever. The few times we did get together though, felt really great, and he'd always text me afterwards that he had a good time, and that we should do it again, etc. He got a bit upset with me at one point and wouldn't talk to me or text me back for a week or so, and when I confronted him he apologized and said that he just felt like I'd invaded his personal space, and I agreed to try not to contact him as often (usually I'd text him once every two days just to ask him what's up or something).
We spent a lot more time together afterwards, he invited me over to make me a birthday cake (which I thought was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me), we went out for lunch a few times, it was really great, and even though I'd only known him for a short while, it felt like he was one of my best friends (and he even told me he felt really close). But despite this, it always felt like he was trying to keep some distance - he would often say he's 'too busy' to hang out, said he'd add me on Steam but never has (saying he doesn't really log it often - which could be true since he plays League), said it felt weird to hug as a goodbye (although he'd do it awkwardly anyway), and I've tried to respect his space so I didn't say anything. When I was heading home, my flight got delayed so I had to spend the night at the airport, and he stayed up talking to me on the phone so I wouldn't be alone, which I thought was super cool of him and really made me feel like he cared about me.
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Fast forward to a few weeks ago, and since we're on summer break, I hadn't really had a chance to properly talk to him (although we've texted) in a few weeks, so I asked him if he wanted to do a video/voice call. He didn't respond, then a few days later I asked him if he could do it the next day, and he said it felt 'too homo'. I didn't really think much of it, so I just said I'll call you, and if you don't want to, we don't have to. So the next day came, and he didn't reply when I asked him to talk, and then I wrote something like "You could've just said 'no', it wasn't a big deal", which he also ignored (and I'm ~99% certain he saw the messages). The next day I felt a bit uneasy about him ignoring me, cos I remembered the last time he did, and I asked him if everything was alright, and he didn't reply, even though I explained that I felt worried. I called him twice later, he ignored the first one and declined the second. I gave him a week and asked if things can be okay, but didn't get anything then either. We're starting classes again a month from now, and I've decided not to do anything until then - even though it's absolutely eating me up inside not knowing what's going on. I feel really stressed about the whole situation, and I'm not sure what to do, or what I did wrong. I want to believe that he cares about me enough to still want me in his life, and that it'll blow over after I don't text him for a month, but I'm really worried that he'll just look me in the eye and tell me to never talk to him again.
I feel like right now we're in a place where he's still my friend, and if I really needed something he'd be there for me, but I've just overwhelmed him and he doesn't feel like talking, but I might be misreading the situation completely. What do?
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There's one really important piece of information missing... Are you a guy? It would explain his 'too homo' comment. If that's the case, he's probably straight and thinks you're coming on to him. Either way, I think you're being too clingy and need to find other friends to balance yourself out. This guy obviously cares about you, however you don't want to burn him out by constantly wanting his attention.
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>>18593212
Sorry, yeah I'm a dude. I thought the same thing you did, but idk why he'd go there. We've talked about girls, and I've even asked him if he thinks that I have feelings for him (since he thinks hugging, etc. is gay), and he said he doesn't. Again, I also think that's what the issue might be, but I don't understand where that idea came from suddenly.
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>>18593686
You're definitely too clingy. When I read your posts I thought you were a woman so the things you were doing made sense, but when I got to the "too homo" part it clicked that you're a guy and I see exactly why he's pulling away. You're too clingy. Guys don't text each other every two days. Guys also don't pursue other guys who have made it clear they need space. You need other friends. You need other things going on. I'm not sure if he actually enjoys hanging with you but from your description, I'm getting the impression he probably thinks of you as a friend but is getting a weird vibe because of how needy you're acting. At this point I would recommend not contacting him again for a while. If he thinks well of you, he'll get in contact with you. If not, you avoid chasing after someone who doesn't want you around. It's not a good look, anon. Good luck!
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>>18593686
I agree with >>18593702
you're being way too clingy, and coming off as a homo, when the guys probably straight; try not to be so obsessive with him only, and maybe try to make other friends?
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