20's femanons, would you date an oldfag?

>goes without saying, all the femanons my age are either married, have kids, fat, psycho.

No they aren't.

Dating someone younger than yourself is usually a redflag. Makes them wonder what's wrong with you that you don't date within your own age bracket. Or you not emotionally mature for someone your own age? Is it a fetish for younger girls? Etc.

Someone is going to date you so long as you meet their standards of what they want from a partner. But the fact that you make a sweeping generalization about all the women in your age bracket and want to look specifically for younger women is a red flag for me.

>>18592674
I'm 24, I'd date a man 10 years older than me.

The only thing I'd be worried about is that he cared more about superficial things more than he cared about me as a person. I wouldn't want to date a man who liked me just because I am young, without much baggage and still good looking. If he liked me for me, then I wouldn't really struggle with a little age gap.

31 year old single white male here. I have none of those things apart from my own car and have no trouble dating 21-40 year olds via tinder and bumble. 500 matches in 18 months and gotten about 20 lays of which a couple have panned into short term relationships. I usually double date, and I usually tell them.

I think what's hard is meeting someone to actually date and settle down, but that's more about collective baggage than the availability of women.

My advice is look at yourself first. And then think about the kind of woman you want, and find her in her natural habitat.

>>18593300
Question for you. Why are you still single? You sound like a desirable partner in the prime of your life and you're open to dating a large age range.

What's keeping you from being with someone?

>>18593286
not op but
>Dating someone younger than yourself is usually a redflag. Makes them wonder what's wrong with you that you don't date within your own age bracket. Or you not emotionally mature for someone your own age? Is it a fetish for younger girls? Etc.
that says more about you than the op desu

>red flag for me.
color me surprised

>>18593300
Cute
But not all older dudes are like that either. sure they might care that you are younger.. but we're all human, only a minority would only be in it literally because you're young
that said, an older dude might think, i'm getting old she won't want me in a few years
i have too much baggage for her
she probably thinks people think of us weirdly / bothers her that people think of us weirdly
ie same shit lol

I'm almost 25, and the oldest guy I would date would be about 29, and even that's pushing it. 30s is definitely too old, he'd have to be someone that looked and acted younger than his age, but then that would bring its own problems.

>>18592674
No

>>18593415
Why would it matter if you weren't able to tell what his real age was? If he looks right (whatever that means to you) has a good disposition and has his life in order then what's the difference? He could be 32 but if he fit your criteria why would it matter?

>>18593390
Mostly because I wanted to be single.

I broke up with my high school sweetheart about a year ago. I was deeply in love with him and had been with him for nearly 8 years. I was heartbroken. A few months after the break up I fell for someone else, but I was very vulnerable and the relationship seemed a little unhealthy, so I broke up and I decided to stay alone for a while till I recover fully.

Now I am feeling much better and I am trying to put myself out there a little more and I'm waiting for someone awesome to happen, but no rush.

Thank you for the compliments, by the way.

>>18593411
I'm sure not all older guys are like that!
It just feels weird to think that a man goes specifically for younger women.
I'd understand if a 35 year old happened to like me, but I wouldn't be happy if he specifically liked me because I'm young. I'm not going to stay young forever, so it wouldn't be sustainable in the long run.

>>18593421
Because, like I said, 29 is the oldest I'd be willing to date. Is it arbitrary? Yes. Do I care? No.

>if he fit your criteria why would it matter?
There are men who fit my criteria who are my own age, and honestly, some of 'my criteria' would be considered immature for a man in his 30s.

I'm not saying that I would never under any circumstances date a man in his mid thirties (I'm 24), but it's really close to being a dealbreaker for me.

>>18593446
Is this a follow up to this? >>18593433

>>18593452
No, I'm a different anon, just now reading the rest of the thread.

Though I do agree with the reasons mentioned. One is that age isn't really a factor for attractiveness to me - a fifteen year old and a fifty year old look different and have a different kind of appeal, but I can find both highly attractive in their own way. The focus many men place on youth is something I don't recognize at all and honestly kind of scares me. This in itself would make me wonder just how much the age difference was a benefit and not a matter of chance.

Another factor is that I am looking to have a relationship with someone more or less in the same stage of life. I like to think that I'm a reasonable person, I work for my own money, I have a degree, yada yada. But I am still very much maturing and developing and in some ways do live a more hectic college life (living in a giant mess, irregular days). I am also still relatively inexperienced with dating (had one relationship) and want to be with someone I can figure things out with, who is also bushy tailed and figuring himself and life out, not someone who has closed that chapter. If you -were- on the same page as me in terms of self-development despite being ten years older, that wouldn't be attractive either.

And another element is that I am not looking to date anyone non-seriously and I cannot really see that working out with someone ten years older. I fiercely want to have children one day and want to be with someone who feels the same way. I cannot imagine, again, being compatible with someone in his mid thirties in that regard. Plus very practically speaking, women outlive men already statistically speaking. If I were looking for a fling it would be different, but I'm more of an all or nothing kind of person and for me that includes being around my age.

>>18593430
You definitely sound like someone who has a good sense of self. I admire the fact that you identified a potentially unhealthy relationship and ended it before things went too far. I don't know that I could do that.

The sad thing is, I seem to consistently find that you have to "catch" people in between relationships. The good ones are so often taken that you have to jump in right as they enter the pool in order to not miss the opportunity, and yet you have to make sure you're not coming off as a carrion bird circling it's meal.

>>18593479
These are well thought out reasons. Personally I think the biggest element is that of life stages. A real relationship can only work when people have aligned in their development. I don't think that means that they need to be in the exact same place, since as a practical matter that can't really happen anyway, but I think that they need to be close. That does come with a caveat though, which would be the willingness to have someone catch up with the other. For example, a man in his 30's may have had a series of relationships that just never resulted in marriage or being settled. Not that they were insignificant or unimportant, but they didn't work out - these things happen. This same man may also strongly desire a family. If that were the case this man would be able in alignment with your desires, but things just didn't work previously. The only part of that which would be different from your criteria would be the element of experience as they would likely be much more seasoned than you are.

I always wonder in situations like these, we're talking about older men with younger women, but how would you feel if this was reversed? Would you want a man who was judging you based on age?

>>18593491
>I admire the fact that you identified a potentially unhealthy relationship and ended it before things went too far.
It wasn't that hard.
We really clicked intellectually and liked each other physically, but on an emotional level we were a pretty dangerous mess. He was evidently broken and I use fixing others as a crutch when I'm hurting.
We got really attached and our relationship turned codependent really quick.
Took me about 6-8 weeks to realise it and cut things off with him. Still miss him at times, very smart dude.

>The sad thing is, I seem to consistently find that you have to "catch" people in between relationships.
I understand that. I personally decided to just keep meeting people till someone awesome happens, instead of actively looking for a date or such things.
I'm lucky because I'm still in college and I do a lot of activities that make meeting new people easy (volunteering, working out, school projects). But I do not want to specifically look for a date.

>>18593517
I understand your reasoning and perhaps this is different because as a woman, my window of opportunity to have children is by definition smaller so I have less options for fucking around. But if I were late twenties, there is no way I would get together with anyone at all without ensuring that they were looking for something long term, and for a family. Sure you cannot predict the outcome and it can still fail, but the chance is significantly lower if you are very clear about your intent and do not waste any time/energy on relationships that you can tell right away might end up being flings. (Because one partner is lukewarm, or a serial dater in general, or on the fence about kids...)

Even if we aligned with the question of children, there's still other areas of life like I mentioned. I have become more stable, "mellowed out" and easy going with every year I aged, but I am still high strung, self-conscious and emotional compared to your average thirty five year old. I would expect many people in their mid thirties to not have the patience or desire to put up with that shit. And if you would put up with that shit - would it result into you being a sort of "rock" telling me again and again that everything will be fine? That's not what I'm looking for in a partner. That's the role of a father or therapist. Of course you need to be able to be there for your partner and console each other when necessary, but there should be some semblance of balance.

I imagine that if I were for whatever reason forty five and single, I would be much less wary to date a thirty five year old because the "coming of age" years are longer in the past for both of us. Age difference matters less the older you get.
But at my current age or yours, yes I would expect a man to rule me to not be a fit (romantic) partner for him based on age.

>>18593538
Even if I were forty five, I would never blame a thirty five year old for wanting to date closer to his age, even though it might suck.

As I mentioned earlier, I actually do find many quite young guys attractive. I see plenty of (for example) seventeen year old kids that I find both incredibly cute with their fresh faced looks and very touching/endearing in how visibly self-conscious they are. The thing is that imagining myself being with someone like that (doesn't really matter whether they're seventeen or twenty at that point) feels incredibly wrong. Because I've been there, done that, compared to them. I wouldn't be able to understand anymore how serious all of their little insecurities are to them. Which isn't fair, because when I was their age my world also came crashing down every other month. I would be too inclined to bestow all my life lessons upon them and not give them the chance to fend for themselves and grow up at their own pace. I'd feel too protective of them, in an unhealthy way, a way that stunts natural development and doesn't just prevent actual danger. They deserve to be with girls who are equally young and brimming, equally unsuspecting, equally vulnerable.
And that's just one side of it. I also cannot imagine meeting someone that age (even of a twenty one year old I'd be sceptical) who can meet my emotional needs, go all in for a relationship the way I can, communicative with introspection and understanding to put yourself in someone else's shoes the way I expect him to be able to.

Aka, we both wouldn't be able to give each other what we need. And I hope to at thirty five be much further still, and have dramatically less in common with the people who are now my peers.

As a 28 year old single male this is a depressing thread. I have no desire to specifically date someone younger than I am, but as OP pointed out, many people in this bracket are taken so to know that the pool is shrunken even more by my age alone is quite sad.

I never wanted to feel pressured to find someone, or forced to get a partner, but that increasingly seems to be the trajectory.

>>18593557
boo hoo poor you

>>18592674
I prefer older men but not older men that try to act like they are still in their 20's. I also wouldn't be impressed with your choice of ex gf's, seems to have no class.

>>18593557
Well yeah, I mean, if you do not make a priority out of finding a partner and keep that up then the risk of missing out increases. Is that really news?

Not everyone feels the way outlined in this thread and at least now you are still young enough to date girls with no marriage/kids without there being a significant age gap. But if at the end of the day you do find it very important to meet someone (and particularly if you want someone who hasn't been married before and doesn't have kids) then it's worth considering at the very least increasing your chances to meet someone you really want to date by attending more events and the likes.

>>18593548
I think the saying "wise beyond your years" is apropos. Discrediting someone based on age is not giving them a chance to show where they actually are emotionally or otherwise. Saying a 20 year old has to be insecure is too generalizing of 20 year olds, and saying that a 30 year old has to have it all figured out is setting a standard that I don't think any should have to adhere to. We all develop at different rates and we all move though life at our own pace. Society has given us check marks and milestones that we are supposed to hit, but that means nothing to me other than someone telling us we are all supposed to be the same when we surely are not.

I think we fail ourselves when we don't just judge someone on their merits - without predetermination, in this case based on age.

>>18593584
Age doesn't mean everything but it's not just a number, either. The longer you've been around, the more life experience you've had and the bigger the chance that you have things figured out in terms of who you are and what you want out of life. Coming into your own, so to speak.

As for the insecurity with younger people, I can just tell. I recognize the body language, with their arms pressed into their sides and the suffling feet, or the shifty eye contact or blushing at my steady eye contact, or the way they fidget with something or the compulsive jokes with joyless short laughter. Not all of them, no, but that doesn't mean there aren't patterns. Plus the guys I am most drawn to tend to be the late bloomers who are hypersensitive.
Same for a thirty year old. He might not have his shit (emotionally, is mostly what I care about) together at thirty... but if he's six years my senior and in exactly the same position as I am, that's just not attractive to me. Because I sure do not hope to still be in this position in six years. That might be judgmental but I don't consciously choose to get turned off. It won't make me think little of him, it's just not attractive to me at all.

>>18593603
I'm not trying to change your mind, more to pick the brains of those in this thread, but I will say that I think your timeline is what strikes me most.

I don't really understand the idea that we need to be hitting these check marks at the same time. Every class I ever took there were kids who consistently finished their tests first and kids that finished last. Maybe you're a kid who finished theirs in the middle, and maybe he finished his near the end. Perhaps that means that he's no longer good enough because he just wasn't as fast as you, but if a 20 year old late bloomer is ok, then I don't see why we have such an issue with these late bloomers when they turn 30.

>>18593559
Not looking for sympathy. Sorry if this offended you.

>>18593621
I'm not denying that this exists, I am talking about groups of people and patterns you can see, not every individual ever. This is also part of the reason why I stated in my original post that I wouldn't 1000% rule out ever going there, it would just make me extremely apprehensive. I guess part of it is also that I have always gotten many comments on how I am as you said "wise beyond my years". While yeah, sure, in some aspects and compared to some people. But I know myself and know what I can be like at other times. Being an adult isn't about being able to show adult insight or behavior at any given time, it's consistently keeping it up, also when there's pressure and what not. I guess this has also made me a bit more wary of the idea that it's all so individual. For me it's in the middle, as I said in the last post. It doesn't tell you everything but it tells you someting.

>>18593286
>No they aren't.
Yes they are.

What >>18593300 said, also the dad body thing is unironically hot since you're older.

I'm 23, when I first met my boyfriend I thought he was 28 at the oldest... he's 38, and we've been together for over two years now. He doesn't make a fetish of my age, or treat me like a child. All of his previous relationships have been with women closer to his own age.

Here's how he differs from OP
>artist with solid day job
>extroverted as all hell
>shares knowledge and entertainment with the community
>has tons of female friends his age whom I get along with because he attracts people on a creative level and not just because they're hot
>all baggage was laid out pretty clear early on, he's got issues but nothing he's in denial about, always working to be better

Everyone is looking for something different. If all you have to offer is financial security, fancy cars, and an aversion of women your own age, all you're probably going to attract are mild gold diggers or chicks who want to pop out some babies, which hey, maybe you'd be okay with. If you're looking for anything else in this godforsaken green world on top of a cure for loneliness, don't forget to pursue that too.

>>18594077
Re-reading this I come off like a total dick, I didn't mean to sound so accusatory @ OP, sorry I'm really tired.

>>18592674
>goes without saying, all the femanons my age are either married, have kids, fat, psycho
You're in a shit market if you can't find a decent single woman in her mid-30s.

>>18593390
>Question for you. Why are you still single?

Why A-holes always say that question? And please everybody don't feel pressured to find a date even if you are older and looking for nubiles. Enjoy your freedom and fuck your parents and friends telling you why you're still single. Times are changing and everyone is living an independent life without excess baggage.

>>18594187
>Times are changing and everyone is living an independent life without excess baggage.
But I am sick of doing that and I want to be a contributing member of society with a wife and kids that love me.

>>18592674
Hahaha. Fucking Ryan, still playing the pedo angle here too?

>>18594191
>mid 20's
>pedo angle
Is this some dank new meme or am I out of the loop on something

>>18594194
He said mid 30s mate. Sounds just like this dude I know. Hits on mentally unstable preteens to get them to bang him. Runs a site and doesn't remove and apparently never sees the CP. Said to have raped two girls and solicited pictures from a third. He comes here and the other chans often.

Fucking Ryan B.

>>18594200
Okay? But OP said he was looking for women in their mid 20's. And he's not exactly in the wrong, if he intends to have children, that's exactly where he should be aiming. When giving birth above the age of 30 the risk of birth defects and especially autism rises to match the risks associated with incest.

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OP here, how the fuck did my thread turn into 'oldfag here, seeking young pussy only'?!

I really don't care for age, for me, it's all about chemistry. The reason I posed the question, was to see all the different responses as to why/why not. Also, I'd like to know what femanon's say the appeal is of anons in 30's.

Currently courting this girl, that happens to be in her 20's and I'm just trying to get an idea of where she is coming from. This current gen of 20's is a lot different than when I was 20.

>>18594200
>mentally unstable
Pretty sure I mentioned 'psycho' as an undesired trait.
>married, have kids, fat, psycho.
Yup, I did.
>>18593640
>Being an adult isn't about being able to show adult insight or behavior at any given time, it's consistently keeping it up, also when there's pressure and what not.
By your definition, adulting is basically all an act. No one keeps this up 100% of the time, unless it's a robot. People have personalities, have you never seen a senior citizen behave in a child-like manner? Or any "adult" for that matter. There is a time and place for professionalism, there's also a time and place for fuckery.

>>18593479
>I am also still relatively inexperienced with dating (had one relationship) and want to be with someone I can figure things out with, who is also bushy tailed and figuring himself and life out, not someone who has closed that chapter.
This is just the blind leading the blind.