My girlfriend is now defending her rapists?

Before we started dating a friend of hers got her to go on a date with this weird guy I know. He is a heavy drinker and drug addict. He wouldn't let her leave his apartment and he raped her and actually almost killed her by strangling her. She promised me she would avoid him. Now she is telling me "I don't think he meant to hurt me" and she is going out of her way to hang out with him and spent the night with him at his apartment yesterday while he unpacked at his new place. So not only is she probably cheating on me, but she is defending all the people she told me to protect her from.

We've only been dating a few months so obviously I'm probably just going to drop her, but seriously. I've been in a lot of messed up situations and dated some messed up girls, but this takes the cake hands down. What would you guys do in my place?

>>18592409
>>18592407
fucking run

>>18592409
>>18592407
Dude, this is not what you want to hear, but seriously:
GET
THE
FUCK
OUT

Break up with her ASAP. She's incredibly damaged by all the shit that's happened to her and she's not going to get better. Be her friend, be someone she can talk to, but get a healthier girl to take as your wife.

>>18592407
holy shit OP

Drop her RIGHT NOW. She's batshit crazy and actual used goods. She's cheating on you and she probably has deep seated psychological issues

And get this,

She has the connections to be protected and have all these people go away for a long time. She is a Navy Officer here. Befriending one of them, maybe, bit making excuses for and defending ALL of them just days after asking me to promise her I'd protect her from these people? She won't do therapy because she thinks antidepressants are good enough. She casually puts herself in so many dangerous situations and doesn't realize how much it stresses me out. I just had my entire chest restructured from major surgery and I don't need this shit.

>>18592427
Were the dudes muslims?

How does all that happen to one person? Jfc

You need to get out of there, my man. And just in case, collect as much information on this as you can. Back up any related texts or voicemails, might even make a video explaining what you just posted. That way if you ever get dragged back into this somehow, your side of the story is recorded.

>>18592407
she might be scared, or those guys might have threatened her... or sometimes its a case where girl gets psychologically messed up, dont know english term, but its when victim at some point starts to defending perpetrator. Since she was raped before, its probably the case...
Take her to really good psychologists. she should go to gynecologist, to take some paper proving she was raped, but not sure if it will work out : if she was only groped and touched - no point; if she had forced sex - might still be signs of it. She might be afraid because there are no evidence of that incident left and there would be only her word against their and they definutely wont admit...

>>18592407
2 bits of advice

>she could be making it all up

>you should dump her

you may love her but she has issues and you dont need that in your fucking life

>>18592407
Never date a victim of childhood sexual assault. They are permanently damaged without the hope of a cure. You can't love them back to normal as their brains are now fucked.

Frankly, I would never date a woman who was sexually assaulted at any age because I am selfish and don't have time or patience for her baggage/poor judgment. Either way - RUN.

>>18592407
I'm not sure if you are just bitching or if you are ready to do something about the sham relationship you think you are in.

Anyway, she continues to put herself in compromising situations and when something way over the top happens she is ok with the guys doing it and you must also be ok with your gf conducting herself this way or you would ditch her right now. I get initially wanting to be supportive and give her the benefit of doubt but she took all that away the next day. You stay and this will happen again and again and again but don't whine to a soul about her behavior because you know the score.

>>18592407
So she is protecting a group of strangers? If they are strangers how does she know their names? Also if they are strangers why should she be afraid of them? Strangers for certain should be reported to the police.

I know that you SHOULD DROP HER NOW IMMEDIATELY, no hesitation and no compromise. I don't know if I would have the strength to do it. I hope very much that you do. You don't need this in your life.

>>18592657
The OP doesn't describe any fear of retaliation. The girl is just fucked up in the head.

Yeah, too many similar situations to be juts random luck... however, that does not necessarily means that she is getting in these situations consciously. One of the components of trauma is repetition, and if she effectively was abused at a young age, it is possible that unconsciously she is getting in those situations.

That's why therapy is so important, not only medication, the whole deal is not only "feeling better" whatever that means, for knowing more about what we are.

You also have to examine the secondary gains related to the experience of being abused (most cases are not as black and white as pop culture want us to believe) and yes, is pretty common to enjoy it and develop feelings for the abuser (hence how she makes excuses for her rapey friend) and so on.

Now, moving from her to you, there are also elements that you need to explore about yourself, elucidating why you are in a relationship with her to begin with ... and so on.

I find also interesting that she told you part of her experience of getting almost gang raped so close to your surgery... in a moment in which you are weak, incapacitated... that might reveal a tendency to castrate and balance of fantasies regarding powerful and abusive men with the contrary, a helpless mothafucka, unable to help her.

It could be that she does not want your help... maybe she wants to prove that dichotomy above (is more common than you think).

Source: I am a psychologist, and yes, I enjoy browsing this dumpster.

Source: Psychologist.

>>18592683
tl;dr
Run OP

>>18592409
Stockholm syndrome, plus that childhood abuse doesn't really tend to make for decent adults who follow the rules.
I had a roommate like you describe who fugged anything despite being engaged. She threatened me after getting freaky with me if I told anyone. Which means yeah she's a victim, and if I cared so deeply about her I could replace her husband, however I would have to be extremely stupid knowing she would not change her behavior and be a lying cheat. These girls do need a man in their lives however it will not keep them from cheating, it's part of their routine. It's how they cope. It's what they're good at. The ones they "keep" are too dumb to realize they're marrying a whore, and too good at sex to let them go.
You can't change anything in her life and chances are you're just a number. Who also was prepared to make sacrifices, and who she told her secrets to and made feel special. You can only really change being in contact with her. Maybe she'll introduce you to her sister if you're a good boi.

>>18592407
Please for the love of god leave her now while you still can, no matter what she says don't listen, just get out of there

She probably is enjoying it. Drop the used whore.

My personal theory is that these girls enjoys sex with a power dynamic whether psychological or physical and they are either in denial about it or they don't realize you can just ROLEPLAY that shit in the bedroom without getting their kinky shit from exposure to rapey people. So they expose themselves to a high risk situation and let it happen, it's technically a crime that takes place, they hate some parts of it and enjoy some parts too, then they feel bad about seeking justice because they know they were kinda looking for it on a subconscious level. And by being able to cry about it on someone else's shoulders they also get to feel wanted and protected. But that's just theory talk and I don't want to justify this bullshit in any way. Drop her.

>>18592407
Flee

>>18592427
>She has the connections to be protected and have all these people go away for a long time. She is a Navy Officer here
That doesn't mean a whole lot unless the rapes happened on a naval base.

>>18592407
way to many problems to deal with m8 fucking run, that entire situation is fucked up

>>18592409
What this actually sounds like
>She actually got molested/raped when she was young
>The "gang molestation" wasn't a molestation, it was consensual
>The guy who "wouldn't let her leave" actually just fucked her
>She cries rape to you so she doesn't look like a hoe.
This sounds cold but I've had experience with a girl like this.
>Raped/molestation type thing when she was young
>She cheats on her bf with me multiple times
>Decides to tell him I "molested" her
>She still continues to tell me she wants to sex with me
Just my personal experience. Maybe she was raped by all those guys. What are the chances though? Is she some sort of rape magnet? Sorry, not buying it.

>>18592407
>Her sister went to the police but the case was dropped because she didn't say he was raping her too.
Pure bullshit. Dump her and dont look back.

>>18592413
yeah, what this guy said - and don't look back.

>>18592407
Man this is the most fucked up story i have ever read, run man there will be another great person, but seriously she will harm you more

>>18593329
Although what you said maybe(99%) true
It could be a case of Stockholm syndrome, given the many rape scenarios that shes experienced.

Since OP says that she was raped at a young age, she is psychologically damaged. She might have a very warped sense of judgement and justice, given that she doesn't want to accuse her rapists.

I do think you're right because of the fact that I've seen that same excuse being used as cheating, happening to many of my friends.

>Is she some sort of rape magnet?
Not buying it either OP... Most would kill themselves after one traumatic event. But three? With one during childhood? No

She have the Stockholm syndrome, bro run as far from her

>>18592409
>and she is going out of her way to hang out with him and spent the night with him at his apartment yesterday
It was barely salvageable, until this.
Regardless of her reasons, she doesn't give a fuck about you.

>>18592683
>however, that does not necessarily means that she is getting in these situations consciously
Why else would she go to a former abuser who almost choked her to death's apartment to help him move in, and stayed the night?

>>18594401
This.
All posts in this thread are right and agree that you should fucking dump her.

>>18592407
She is 100% telling the truth, but is so overwhelmed by self-blame she can't help herself. Rape victims pretty much never lie (yes they exist but the percentage is basically nothing) Support her, be there for her, but maybe a relationship is not healthy at this moment.

>>18592407
Inb4 her favorite color is purple and she obsessively likes tim burton movies.

>>18592407
It's because she didn't get raped.

She fucked bunch of guys while you were in surgery, got sad afterwards and went into damage control mode and claimed rape. You suggest legal action but since they are her friends she doesn't want that either.

You got cheated and memed on.

Rape victims are pretty fucked up in general

I dated one, and she was a wonderful, brilliant, beautiful woman. She was completely fucked up though - breakdowns occasionally, made up excuses, never bothered charging her uncle, parents didn't believe her

My other long-term ex would hang out with people who were best friends with her rapists and just didn't want to "bother".


I don't know why most raped women I meet just fucking cave to everything

>>18595047
It's almost like they experienced some form of extreme emotional trauma

>>18595093
They're weak because they're victims, and they're victims because they're weak. It's a cycle they're trapped in.

>>18595047
Child victims tend to be fucked up so it's kinda understandable.

Adult victims that don't prosecute are mostly just lying to cover up sex they regret

A) She's not and probably never will be relationship material

B) This isn't about you. Don't take her actions personally or assume you have a noble desire to intervene.

Shit sucks. Some people just don't get a fair shake. Move on.

>>18595104
Yes

No, sometimes yes. Only crazy people do that

>>18592407
>My girlfriend was just gang molested by a group of strangers at a party the other day (I'm in another province for major surgery so that makes this even more stressful for me). She came crying to me and broke down. I told her since she knew a couple of names of the guys there we would get them criminally charged.

Its entirely likely her 8-9 year old story is true. Its entirely likely ALSO that she just went off and cheated with these guys at a party, and then is claiming rape now.

>>18595357

peolple that either falsely or truthfully talk about being raped repeatedly at 8-9 years old are crazy either way.

>>18594927
>Inb4 her favorite color is purple and she obsessively likes tim burton movies.

Oh god dont remind me of her. Not even op...

>>18595047
A lot of women enjoy their rapes.
Look up rapebaiting, and you'll see a huge community of women who actively try to get raped.

It's men who push the concept that rape is bad because we don't want to be cucked.

>>18594715
>girls, like, never, like, lie about, like, rape
k

>>18592407

My friend dated a 15 year old when he was 20. I was a year younger. She fucked him the second day. They had a hellish relationship because they're both screwed up people who are magnets to each other.


This girl would sunbathe nude on my friends boat in front of me. The first time I met her in my friends house was week 1 of their dating, and she ran to the bathroom topless and covering her tits to shower. She even said "is he looking the other way", now why not just wear something?

When we were at her house where she lived with her mom, she once put up her tits to the glass back door after lifting her shirt. I asked if she was wearing a bra because she's like that, and my friend grabbed her tit and said yeah, then she asked my friend if I'd like to touch them. Of course any guy would, they were double Ds, but I said no because it felt weird.

One day when I started joking around with my friend about kind of mean things to do to her when she was in the room, suddenly she put her hand on my knee like it was no big deal. We were going to go somewhere later that night and I got in my car early and she came with me for some reason. When we were alone waiting for my friend she said "you hate me dont you", and I said "no not at all", then she said "do you want to have a threesome with me and him"?

Then later that night she stuck her tits out at me to ask me if her shirt was too small.

Among all of this behavior, she went to a party with some other guy down the street that her boyfriend/my friend hated like mad because he was a douchy druggie asshole who was still in high school.

She claimed she woke up to him making her suck his dick and my friend wanted to kill him.

Don't believe rape claims if someone doesn't press charges. They could just be fucked up individuals.

>>18592427
>She casually puts herself in so many dangerous situations
No, she PURPOSELY puts herself in dangerous situations.

Legit stop lying to yourself and realize this.

I knew a girl like this too. Except I was the one who was mean and cruel to her and wanted her out of my life. But she kept coming back even though there were nice men in her life. It honestly just made me hate her even more. I had to complete delete her from my life and cold deny any sort of sexual display, no matter how desperate she was.

She too was raped in her youth and had a string of abusive boyfriends. Girls like this SEEK OUT danger and abuse.

>>18595381
I hope you or someone you love gets raped

Completely delete her from your life. Not only is she dangerous to be in a relationship with, but keeping contact afterwards can lead to really shitty situations as well.