Conflicting feelings

Would also like to know an answer to this

>>18592343
WOMENZ

Once ya got em, ya don't want em

Maybe the holes you're around are basic

>>18592361

Some of the girls I've hung around are actually pretty cool. But once I'm around them, all interest goes away. But when I'm all alone, I think about girls a lot.

It's kinda strange

Bump for curiosity

I think it has to do with priority. I you have any experience you would know there is a difference with women in general and those who are interested in you.

Personally I don't find a lot of girls interested in me which is when I automatically don't really care for them either. This changes when I know there is a real chance (not that "what if" bullshit) that showing interest would make a difference.
I don't react to women as much as I would like to, it's to do everyone a favor. This can wear on me that even though I know they're beautiful women and to have them for example as coworkers around you all day it's as if you forget you care about women at all. Although I still check them out, I would not let them really show any affection knowing it would not be returned. This means you take on a role of a man who seemingly doesn't want female affection, which is not true and quite dumb if you don't understand the concept of an individual and that you react to everyone differently even though you like women in general.

>>18592571

Well I have had girls show actual interest beyond typical small talk. But it's just when I'm actually around girls, I just don't seem to care.

It's not like a bad thing. But I'm just curious why I think about girls so much alone, but why I lose interest when around them

>>18592625
Perhaps it's not as peculiar if you consider the answer I've given. This is assuming you're not an adonis who lives in a harem but more of an average person. Even then, it's perfectly normal to not put effort into conquest at times, be it romantic or whatever. It's male, if not, human, nature. Being constantly absorbed with sexuality is abnormal and repulsive, whether you act out on it or not.
As long as you are still open to romance when it happens despite not constantly getting it from everyone there is nothing wrong with you, in fact you're normal.

>>18592658

I guess. But I won't allow romance to happen. But it's cool

>>18592904
>but but
I've literally explained it all so it comes down to you being too young/inexperienced to make adult judgement about these things you talk of. If you knew what it was like having a relationship of some sort you knew that 99% of contact with women would still be superficial and you probably, like any man, naturally don't prioritize these superficial exchanges to have any romantic significance. Being alone and still dreaming/longing/stroking your penis is just loneliness so stop thinking you're a snowflake and start growing up.

>>18592968

>so stop thinking you're a snowflake and start growing up

What? I'm not complaining about anything. I was just wondering if anyone had any insight.

I'm 27 by the way

>>18593028

That was advice I reckon if you can't take it don't come here

>>18593080

What you're saying didn't make sense. You made it sound as if I was claiming that everything is about sex. I never made that accusation

>>18592343
Fantasy vs reality. It's like when weeaboos act like they live in an anime.

>>18593628

That's an interesting view. Although, I act normal around girls, not like weebs toward anime

>>18593641
Consider the differences between your fantasy self and "normal" self.

>>18593663

Well, I can't really think of any differences. I mean, I'm the same person. Just, my "fantasy" self (as you call it) just thinks about girls, sex, and stuff like that a lot. But in reality when I am around girls I literally don't care or think about any of those things

Do you masturbate? I've noticed a big difference in how I react to girls after a week of nofap versus even a once-a-day wank. I also react to women more strongly when I'm actually in regular physical contact with one.

>>18593710

Usually only about once a week Tbh. This is going to sound backwards. But when I used to fap a lot, I still wanted girls when I was around them. But since I cut back to only once a week, when I'm actually around girls, I just have no interest.

>>18593738

fap more then! But maybe it's your testerone going away that caused you to fap once a week?

>>18593701
So you think about girls and sex and sex with girls when you're alone, but not when you're around girls? Sounds like you're just focusing on the task at hand. It's completely normal.

>>18593756

No I don't want to. I mentally feel better and overall I feel healthier when I don't fap for a long time. I also feel better when I'm at the gym

>>18593761

What do you mean by the task at hand?

Heh, women.
Can't live with them,
They will not go out with me

Likely if you're alone and fantasizing about them, you are fantasizing about the ideal aspects of them (imtimacy, kisses, boobs, sex, etc) rather than the entire human package. It's like fantasizing about cake, honestly. Brain is craving the pleasurable aspects rather than its entirety, negative aspects included

But when you are faced with them in person, you've got the whole package. Good, bad, and benign. To really want a woman is to want and deal with the whole package

>>18593795

>To really want a woman is to want and deal with the whole package

That's a very interesting point

>>18593795

But what about the people who do ONS and casual sex? they don't get the whole package

>>18592369
What does "think about girls a lot" mean? You're only thinking about their body? You though they had a cute personality? What?

Anyway, I'm sort of similar in that my libido is fading away as I get older. I still fap once in a while, but I show no interest to women when I'm near them. It's mostly out of fear of rejection and such so I don't even try, and now it's almost natural as my sex drive fades as I get older.

>>18593830

Both looks and personality. But, typically looks.

I've had opportunities where girls have flat out flirted with me. But I've just chosen to not do anything about it. When I'm actually hanging out around girls. I just see them as normal people. I have no interest in them other than a friendship.

>>18593834
So you never like what you see right in front of your eyes? Only later on when you think about it? What the hell?

Maybe you just don't know how to flirt or show love so you don't try. But yet, you claim absolutely no interest when you are with them. Not sure.

>>18593843

>So you never like what you see right in front of your eyes? Only later on when you think about it

Yeah pretty much

>maybe you just don't know how to show love so you don't try

That is definitely true. The other thing is I don't care either. So it's like, what's the point?

>>18593826
Sure, that's a way around it. That's the whole point of hookups, to get some of the benefits while avoiding most of the tedious or unpleasant things. Depends what OP is really fantasizing about

>>18593869

OP here

This is going to sound lame. But sometimes I fantasize about taking a cute girl on a big expensive vacation and traveling all over.

>>18593881
Yeah see, it's more than just physical so a one night stand won't satisfy that fantasy

And it takes lots of work, time, and energy to get to the payoff which is why interacting with real human girls doesn't exactly inspire the kind of excitement a fantasy does

>>18593764
>What do you mean by the task at hand?
Socializing. You can't be at the spank bank while you're busy monitoring verbal and nonverbal communication. The brain's busy analyzing all of those cues to make snap decisions about your current situation.

>>18593884

>a hook up wouldn't satisfy that

Yeah I agree. I refuse to do hook ups anyways

But, what's you're saying makes sense. Maybe I just realize that it would be too much work and just don't care

>>18593902
Like the payoff isn't worth the work required.

But there could be another layer as well. Thinking that fantasy and reality are mutually exclusive. Thing is, if you just ~believe in your dreams~, fantasies can be a precursor to reality. Just gotta take the right steps.

I struggle with this myself actually. Fantasizing about all sorts of stuff but not putting in the work to make it reality. The reason WHY we don't put in the effort in the first place is because we're not convinced it's possible to succeed. It's so easy to say to yourself "sure that would be nice but it's just a stupid fantasy and not actually possible", so you treat reality as a given and no progress is made to change it

So yeah you can actually have what you dream about, you just need to believe it's possible to achieve. Then it'll be easier to take the right steps to do it.

>>18593967

Yeah but it's exactly as you said in the beginning "the payoff isn't worth the work required"

try an online relationship

>>18593996

I did that a few years ago but it ended very badly for me and caused me a lot of pain.

Not doing that again lol

>>18593618
i however accused you of being unable to grow up
because you can't seem to take advice and keep making excuses like a snowflake. it's never your fault is it?

>>18594703

No, you're just confused or can't read. I'm not bitching or making excuses.

Heh, I don't know but I'm the opposite. At home I don't care about girls. Outside I think of most girls purely by their dating material value.