ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything GUIDELINES: Before yo

should you always ask her or no matter what the circumstances are? there always seems to be an excuse not to.

women, how do you feel about mid 20s living with family? 24, living with my mom and sister. i pay 50% of the rent and its in my name so i'm not some neet nigga. it's just awkward to invite people over because my mom is home 24/7. sister doesn't care tho. feel like i should have my own pad though, and that it's perhaps more fashionable to have room mates of the same gender and age range

>>18589667
ignore the excuses. if you are interested, go go go. unless it's a co-worker or something

If a girl keeps taking a long time to respond to anything I send, does that mean anything?

It's just happened recently, but everything she'll respond to is positive to what I'm saying. As an example, I asked her to go do something with me, and she said yes but after the first message she replied with, it took her like 50 minutes to respond again even though she had sent one just prior. This has happened multiple times with her so I'm thinking it's not just because she was doing something else.

>>18589711
Take it from someone who "stresses" about that sort of thing.
They could just be busy - she still replies postivity

I hope you see her irl too

To either guys or girls, if you were dating a virgin, how would you ease them into sex, since it's their first time?

how fucked am I if I hadn't had a single fucking date in nearly 2 years?

I'm above average 19 y.o guy.

>>18589719
>I'm above average 19 y.o guy.
clearly not, even if it's self inflicted

>>18589722
I have only asked 2 girls out, turned down both times.

Never asked out on a date by any girl, and in general I don't meet new ppl.

>>18589718
My current boyfriend was a virgin when we started dating. I'm not good at sex now and I wasn't then, so I just kind of chilled and let him do whatever he wanted and gave him signals of what felt good

how hard is it to stay friends with someone who is madly in love with someone else...when you have a crush on them?

>>18589719
>single date in 2 years
>at 19
no, you're 19 lmao. Don't worry so much about this shit.

>>18589718
My girlfriend was pretty experienced and knew I was a virgin when we first started fooling around. Everyone's different, and I think she planned on walking me through things but I was pretty aggressive and I think it was for the best that the first couple times she kinda just laid there and enjoyed it while I figured stuff out for myself. Later on she'd specifically tell/show me what she liked.

If I were to take a girl's virginity it really depends on the person. If shes done nothing before, it'd be hard, I'd probably take a week or two of trying new things until she was ready. If shes gone to third base before and just hasnt had sex though, I think itd be fine to just ease her into things with a lot of fingerplay until shes ready for you.

>>18589756
Almost impossible, and never a good idea. You too need distance and for you to be into someone else before you can continue being friends.

>>18589788
I can't help it but care.
Need someone to talk to.

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>>18589588
Women, would you ever consider dating someone you have previously turned down? what would have to change for you to do this?

>>18589804
3 years ago I was in the same spot you're in right now. Most of the time in situations like this you feel like you really really REALLY like the girl, but you have to understand your feelings are based on obsession rather than genuine love. For my situation it took being with someone else to realize that the girl I had a crush on and I would have actually been an awful couple and that she was right to friendzone me.

Go ahead and share your story, but you need to cut things off.

>>18589788
your right i think its better for me to stay away. i'm just upset because we fooled around few times before it happened and we were having tons of fun...then she met this guy and it was all over. Problem is i can't really talk about this with anyone.

>>18589718
>talk beforehand about expectations and things they'd like to try
>no rushing into sex, enough steamy make out sessions, grinding etc that he's actually looking forward to it more than being nervous
>practical stuff like guiding his dick in, being on top first depending on what he prefers
>put in extra effort to make sure that their first time is crazily pleasurable

Reposting

Girls how true is the whole "adjusting hair in front of guy you like" thing? I've noticed occasionally a girl on the street I make eye contact with will do this, but I always chalk it up to coincidence.

>>18589842
I am fucking desperate for some affection, something I never had in my pathetic existence.

As for the first girl, the one I "cared" the most, I asked her out around Christmas, she refused bc she was going on holiday with her family, but never mentioned anything about going out after she's back.

Then she sent me a b-day message, which she had put care to it, and I tried to start a conversation and hopefully ask her out, but she ghosted me.

What the fuck do I have to do in order to meet a new girl and go out with her on a date?

I really want to experience the part where you get to know the other person, and then you get closer and closer...

End my fucking life.

>>18589834
In theory yeah, it wouldn't be impossible. Especially if you're talking about the long term. I have lots of friends I've had for ten+ years and almost without exception they have grown into more attractive and pleasant people than they used to be. I can imagine turning someone down for feeling they're a bit immature but that being different a few years down the line.

Having said that I strongly recommend against holding out hope that someone you have a crush on will change her mind. Just because it's a possibility doesn't mean it's likely. Kind of like how I'd never recommend someone to stick around in case a relationship doesn't work out and then she might be up for dating.
Even when people are frank about some reason(s) for the rejection, they extremely rarely give you the full story. There's a big chance that they simply see a major incompatibility that you don't, or aren't attracted to you for reasons (personal smell, voice, way of carrying yourself) you might not even think of when evaluating yourself.

Respect yourself enough to not invest too much in someone who has given you nothing but discouraging signals.

>>18589864
It's a sign of being self-conscious. A way of giving themselves something to do ("where do I keep my hands?!"). So yes women can do this when they are attracted to someone, but also in many other situations in which they feel nervous or acutely aware of themselves. I know I do this sometimes in the same situation as you describe and while I often also like the looks of the guy, it's more a very mild embarrassment of being singled out and feeling a stranger's (intense?) eye contact.

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>>18589872
>>18589872

there was this girl I I used to be good friends with, I was admitadly not in a good place in life at the time. but I ended up falling for her hard, so much that it was the catalyst to make me do a complete 180 in life and I think I'm still on the upward trend, but anyway I fell hard for her to the point where even though ive dated other women I have never felt anything towards anyone else.

anyway its been two years since I last saw her and ive been hoping that one day ill run into her again and things will be different, show her I'm different.

>>18589879

I've been told I have a very stern look, so maybe it is an intense stare. I hope I'm not scaring anyone.

>>18589894
Being self-conscious isn't necessarily negative at all. Just suddenly being aware of yourself through someone else's gaze while you were wrapped up in your own thoughts moments before. If you scared them they'd be quick to look away.

how true is it that women only like men taller than them? I'm 5 foot 9 and I'm worried that this is a problem for a lot of women who are my height or taller. how can I improve my chances with women if height is a major factor?

>>18589893
If you feel that strongly I don't think there's anything wrong with either reaching out or still (partly) hoping that you do meet again and you do hit it off. Just try not to get too invested in the idea of it. And wait with dating until you find a girl who really moves something in you. Might not be just as strong anyway, but don't get together with someone for the sake of trying to move on... only actual feelings help someone move on. Good luck anon.

>>18589902
It's definitely true that women prefer men taller than them. For most this is the real important thing though, not necessarily that you tower over them. I am 5'9 as well and I'd actually be more than happy to date someone the same height, over someone 6'2 or something. There's no sex like the kind where everything just naturally fits together.

Someone is dating you for the full package you offer and not one isolated element. So anything attractive at all can boost you - better posture, becoming more slim/fit, wearing clothes that flatter you and fit well, practicing conversational skills and (very useful) learning how to flirt, being able to dance, you name it.

>>18589912
all of those are things I'm working on, learning how to flirt especially, but I'm worried that even with all those things done my hiegth will be a instant turn off to women who are taller than I am

>>18589975
I'm not trying to disparage your insecurity because it isn't irrational and it sucks to be written off based on something you have no control over when you try in many areas to be the best potential partner you can be. But you cannot ever please anyone. You could be a demi-God and still there would be women you reminded of their brother or not into your race or whatever else, lesbians for all I care. Your goal is to find people you connect with and can have worthwhile experiences with. Not to be the most unoffensive and universally liked version of a human being you can be. There is absolutely no point in dwelling on people who are not into you. It only takes away from energy and time you could invest in people who ARE (potentially) into you.

Besides, you're 5'9, it's not like you are strikingly short by any means. Depending on your country you are average or slightly below. That's still a fairly comfortable position all things considered. And like what I said about not dwelling on people who are no fans of yours, there is also no point in obsessing over (perceived) flaws. Everyone has them, there are reasons not to want to date anyone at all. No one dates someone for not having flaws, they date someone for liking them so much that they will put up with their quirks and their imperfections, and be giddy about that to top it off.

>>18589988
that all makes sense, and I guess I'm in secure about it because ive been burned by my height before, plus I live in Midwest US and I'm used to being dwarfed over or being shorter than most people or most people around me at least.

>tfw no sweetie pie gf
How do I find one?

>>18590030
what counts as sweetie pie gf?

Girls, why do you like to walk around with your ass hanging out?

>>18590036
I like my ass, and I like how short shorts make my ass look even nicer. Makes me feel confident and attractive

>>18590031
A nice sweet, kind, supportive gal to go on dates with

>>18590049
You must also be nice, sweet, kind, and supportive. At least I'm pretty sure, bf is a sweetie pie and he says I'm also a sweetie pie

>>18589902
I'd fuck a shorty if he was cute.

So I guess just workout and don't dress like shit.

>>18589865
>What the fuck do I have to do in order to meet a new girl and go out with her on a date?

I'm not the Anon that's been replying, and I'm a dude, so feel free to ignore my message as it's against the spirit of the thread.

BUT meeting new people is easy. Just do new things. It doesn't mean that the first activity you pick will have your future girlfriend in it, but if you never try new things you'll never meet new people.

>>18590041
>"confident and attractive"
aka whorey

Girls: What did she mean by this?

I've thought she's literally one of the sexier girls I've ever seen for two years now and she's known I've been attracted to her but never really talked like that until now. We text each other pretty often and have agreed to "have fun, nothing serious" (I said that btw). I like her a great deal but I'm confused rn.

>>18590061
I'm sorry you feel that way

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>>18590063
Forgot to post pic, my bad.

>>18589902
>5'9
>manlet
This meme needs to go away already

Girls: Would it bother you if you found out your boyfriend had a sexual encounter with another man before you formed a relationship with him?

>>18590041
How is that not against public decency? Would you like guys to also walk with their asses hanging out?

>>18590069
She thinks you like someone else

>>18590071
The only thing that would bother me is that I wouldn't be able to stop fantasizing about him sucking a guy's dick every time I masturbated

>>18590071
No. A man who's confident in his sexuality is pretty hot desu.

>>18590073
That's up to the guys if they want to wear short shorts. If they like their butt and enjoy how short shorts make them look, why not wear them?

>>18590075
Mmm that would make sense but not really. Sometimes, she'll ask me about this girl that I was really into (I still haven't gotten over her) but I kinda just say I'm still cool with her and that is true.

But I flirt with the girl I'm texting the pic somewhat often when we text so why does she still think this? What should I do to let her know I'm interested in her and only her

>>18590096
>that would make sense but not really
>she'll ask me about this girl I was really into
>still haven't gotten over her

Yeah she thinks you haven't gotten over her. Which you haven't!

>>18590063
>>18590069
What did you say before her first message here?
Kind of sounds like she either has low self esteem (ie that she isn't worth your attention), thinks you like someone else, or is worried that you've caught feels for her, or ???

guys (and also girls, if you want to):
does it affect the way you think about someone if you have sex on the day you meet?
if so; how and why?

>>18590082
>>18590075
Oh wish my gf was like you two. I've really wanted to try sucking cock once but she hates the idea.

>>18590036
Because they're dumb sluts, anon. You know that.

>>18590107
If the option becomes available on the first day we meet, then clearly this person is a slut, and not worth my time to be around

>>18590102
Sigh
>>18590104
I said I was thinking about her when she asked me what was I doing. It probably is her worried that I've caught feels for her. This was 2 nights ago btw and we've talked since then so it's not like I scared her off COMPLETELY but idk.
What do you think I should do next?

>>18590107

Depends on how we meet, but I don't think I'm so special I just convinced her with my charm to fuck on the first meeting. I assume they do that with everyone they like.

>>18589902
I'm 5'4". 5'9" is a great height for me because I can tuck my head under his chin and I can still reach him for a kiss with a slight tiptoe.
Still, I've had crushes on guys who are 5'3"-5'5".

I am average height for the United States, so unless you live in Scandinavia, I'm not sure why you think it's normal for girls to be your height or taller. Girls who are 5'9" or taller are officially tall girls. I've heard tall girls say they like a guy who is around their own height because it makes them feel like equals. Tall girls who prefer even taller guys probably have a complex about their own height. They think they are too tall themselves, and a shorter guy might make them feel even taller than they are. A tall guy can make them feel like they are petite.

If she's confident about her height, this shouldn't be a problem.

I've also heard girls avoiding shorter guys due to the fact that short guys often have complexes themselves. I've had friends who dated short guys who would get mad at her for wearing heels.

You can improve your chances by not making a big deal about your height. Don't make self depreciating jokes, because it shows that you think that you are short (which you're not). Just act like you're normal and average (which you are). If someone makes a comment about your height, just shrug and say, "I dunno, I figured I was pretty average." and change the subject.

>>18590115
>What do you think I should do next?
Depends on what you want. Have you caught feels for her? Do you want to keep messing around with her? Are you trying to pursue girl #2? Are you using this girl as a rebound?
From what you've said, sounds like you want things to be the same. Quit worrying about things and keep fucking your fuck buddy, buddy.

>>18590107
>does it affect the way you think about someone if you have sex on the day you meet?
>if so; how and why?

Yes and no?

Yes, because if we had sex once, so you sure as fuck bet I'm going to be thinking about having sex again. Added to that, I'm kind of a sentimental guy so I'll probably treat you a little more sweetly for a little after the first time (I'm the kind of guy that likes making breakfast for you the morning after--even if it's a one night stand and I know we'll never see each other).

No, because it doesn't change how I perceive your personality. My actions might be a little different than normal, but that doesn't change the parts of you that I recognize.

That being said, there are definitely guys (and even girls) who've got a conquest/pump and dump mentality.


>>18589718
>To either guys or girls, if you were dating a virgin, how would you ease them into sex, since it's their first time?

Assuming they actually wanted to:
Be as comforting, confident, and light hearted as possible.
People feed off each other's energy, and this goes doubly so for people doing shit they have no clue about, and NO ONE likes feeling awkward. So when someone else takes the lead and puts off a certain vibe, other people tend to follow.

The way you get around awkward a lot of times is just to get them to realize that this shit isn't as scary as they think, and to lead the through your own actions.

For a lot of people, their first time is such a big deal to them and becomes so serious. And because it is, they fill themselves with all these expectations and anxiety, and blah blah blah.

I always feel like the by far EASIEST way to kill anxiety and awkwardness is to get someone to genuinely laugh from their belly A real, deep laugh is pretty magical in that it tends to destroy all other thoughts and replace it with pure joy.

And half the fun of good sex is enjoying yourself. So why not make someone's first time just that?

>>18590148
>Have you caught feels for her?
Somewhat, I guess. I'll be leaving her behind for uni in less than 20 days and I would be lying if I said I wouldn't be kind of sad once this ends.
>Do you want to keep messing around with her?
Yes. 110%.
>Are you trying to pursue girl #2?
No. I stopped a while ago but I just will always have a thing for her I guess.

Are you using this girl as a rebound?
No.

Also...uhh about that fuck buddy thing, [spoiler]we haven't fucked[/spoiler]. Hoping to when I see her next time in a week or so. I'm still a virgin and I don't think she knows if I am. She is not a virgin tho.

>>18590107
I agree with this anon >>18590116 (though as a girl)
I would probably think slightly differently if they were a girl or a guy I was on a date with.
A guy I would assume had too high of a sex drive for me to keep up with, unless he really really turned me on. Which would be pretty likely if I agreed to having sex on a first date. I would also worry that he was planning more of a fuck buddies thing than an actual dating thing. Which, again, would be pretty likely I was thinking the same thing if I agreed to having sex on a first date.
The girl I would assume was more into fucking girls than dating them, and I would be a little cautious that I'm not just a sexual experiment. I would still worry about the sex drive, but to a lesser degree, since it's more common for girls to have a lower sex drive. It would also show that she was way more sexually experienced than me with girls, and I would be nervous about letting her down. Unless she was pretty dommey and obviously enjoyed showing me the ropes.

>>18590165
Well, replace fool-around-buddy with fuck-buddy. What have you done, if I may ask? It's possible that she did interpret your 2am text as a "I'm jerking off to the idea of you" (as I assumed, personally) and is worried that you're going to actually want to have sex with her.

She's generally being vague and doing the thing where she assumes you can read her mind. But remember this: That doesn't really matter. She is not your girlfriend, so you have no obligation to her emotionally. So you shouldn't worry too hard about it.

Keep doing what you're doing. If she turns you down for sex, nothing is lost because you're not going to see her in a couple weeks anyway. If you don't go through with it, you'll always wonder if you could have.

>>18590073
Not her nor am I personally a fan of butt cleavage but you don't get to choose what you see when going outside (assuming it's legal). I absolutely see male asses, from manual laborers showing cracks to guys with their pants so low I can see how their boxers wedge in between their cheeks.

It's not a highlight of my day but neither is hearing a couple yell at each other or seeing someone morbidly obese. The public domain is just a place for people to be, not something that has to be placing to the eye.

>>18590071
Not at all, that's hot. Some women will care but as you can tell from the other responses, my feeling on it isn't exactly unique either.

I have not had a social life since I was 17. (I moved a lot, and lost a lot of social skills) I Zero real friends. I'm 24 right now and somehow despite my lack of a social life, I have a girlfriend.

Since I haven't really socialised much in years, I can be pretty awkward sometimes since I don't really know what the norm is when it comes to hanging out. Tomorrow, she's coming over to my house for the evening for the first time, and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to approach it.

It's supposed to be casual. We're just going to have some stuff to eat, watch movies, probably more, but I just feel nervous since I've never really invited someone over since I was a teenager. Do I let her pick the movie? Should I cook something? Order food? Do I offer her drinks, or is that a bad idea since she'd be driving home later (though we would be together for about 5 hours.)? Am I overthinking this?

>>18589716
I see her irl often enough, but it bothers me a bit based on how these things go. Like right now I'm planning on taking her to a city ~40 miles from her, and while she says she's up for it, these non-answers are inhibiting the planning of this. Like we're talking then she asks how/where we should meet up and when I give a suggestion, she goes dark for around an hour before responding again even when she had previously been responding in real time. Its probably nothing, but its setting some weird ass paranoia in me even if she seems like she's totally down and willing to do stuff/talk to me.

>>18590186
Then why the fuck is she still texting me if she's worried I want to fuck her? This is infuriating. Last time, I brought it up and she said "we've only hung out a few times and I'm just not like that". We haven't done anything, which is the problem. She's been in another state with her mom for the majority of the summer and we started things shortly before she left.

Last time I had a chance to make move/saw her in person, we were both very fucked up. But we did go to the beach and I held her hand and shit, which is basically nothing.

>>18590207
You are overthinking it. She's your girlfriend so she obviously likes you. She's coming over to spend time with you, not to get any specific experience. Focus on trying to have fun together and not overanalyzing details, that will only take you out of it.

Reach a compromise on what movie to watch. There's so many options, no reason to go watch something either of you doesn't feel like seeing at all. It's much more fun to watch something that you are both engaged in than either one just doing it as a favor.
Cooking isn't mandatory. It will make an impression on her but if you want to keep things strictly casual you are better off ordering food. Don't try to be all haute cuisine if you are not used to cooking and don't know how to do it reliably and efficiently, just get take out then, much more comfortable.
As for the drinks, just ask her if she'd like anything or that she wants to be sober for the drive. If she has a drink at the start of the evening and leaves it at that, she's fine driving hours later but some people are more anxious about this than others. Also this gives her an opening to bring up sleeping over if she'd actually prefer that.

>>18590190
>It's not a highlight of my day but neither is hearing a couple yell at each other or seeing someone morbidly obese. The public domain is just a place for people to be, not something that has to be pleasing to the eye.

This is a great way of putting this, and I agree completely.

>>18590036
I doubt this is the case for everyone, but I have before done this unknowingly. I can see my shorts in the front, and they seem to be doing okay. When I turn around to look at my ass in the mirror, I unknowingly was pulling my hips in a bit, which made the shorts seem to cover my ass. I had worn those shorts several times before somebody told me, or I saw a reflection or picture or something.

Now I just wear those shorts around the house when I want to tease my boyfriend a bit.

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Is the stance of "The only girl I wish to be intimate with is the girl I want to marry, have children with and spend the rest of my life with, and I expect her to think the same towards me," a reasonable one to take?

>>18590207
I understand you're freaking out and that the best move is to not worry, but I also know that preparedness will calm you down!

>Do I let her pick the movie?
Decisions are hard, so I suggest preparing a couple of options for her. Pick out a couple different types: A comedy, a thriller, an action flick, a feels flick, and/or a sci-fi flick, whatever.

>Should I cook something? Order food?
Do you like to cook? Are you an experienced cook? If you do cook, take care of your timing. How long will it take to prepare? How long will it take to cook? When do you plan to eat? If you're eating first thing, you can have dinner ready before she arrives. If you plan to cook with her there, I do recommend pre-chopping and pre-measuring, which has the added bonus of making sure you actually have all the ingredients you need.

Ordering food is also fine and dandy!

>Do I offer her drinks, or is that a bad idea since she'd be driving home later (though we would be together for about 5 hours.)?
This is more up to preference. I'm the kind of girl that doesn't touch alcohol if I'm driving that day. A side effect of this habit is that I don't really have a good sense of how long it takes me to sober up after n amount of drinks. She's an adult, so that means that just because you offer drinks doesn't mean she's obliged to drink it.

>Am I overthinking this?
Of course. Don't think of this as impressing a girl, think of it as getting to know one another. I might give a better side of myself at the beginning, but I don't like to change myself too much. If you're the kind of guy who likes getting pizza and she's the kind of girl who thinks that pizza is low class, then you aren't really compatible.

>>18590264
It's reasonable for the most part, sure. Doesn't mean that every guy and girl you're going to run into has the same philosophy.
"Expect" is a big word. "Expect" kind of implies that you think that she should already know that you expect that about her. Since this differs from person to person, not even a girl who actually shares your philosophy may expect that you expect this from her.

I also hope that you realize that sometimes people change. I may have thought that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my ex, but I realized that it wouldn't work out. I currently want to marry, have kids with, and spend the rest of my life with my current boyfriend. But it's possible that we won't work out. My intimacy isn't a promise for marriage, kids, and a lifetime. It's more of a hope for such a future.

>>18590264
>is it reasonable to want monogamy?
Of course it is. However, if you're asking if it's reasonable to expect the first girl you sleep with will be the only girl you're with forever, then that's less reasonable.

>>18590264
Well first of all, reasonable ultimately doesn't mean much. You get to have whatever standards you want - and you are not being a hypocrite, obviously, even bracketing whether that would necessarily be so bad - but it can make your dating life hard.

You are essentially looking for a virgin with the same moral principles - at least in this regard. But you probably also want her to be reasonably cute, and smart, of a certain age, maybe a certain race. You need to have compatible ideas about raising kids and where you want to live, work/life balance, to make the cut as a long term couple. And then you have to actually meet her, her technically existing doesn't get you far.

I will say that being sincerely religious would greatly improve your odds here.

Aside from church whats the best way I can meet a more homely type girl who's a virgin? I just want someone who I can get along with and play games, go out to eat, and cuddle with.

I don't care if she's that attractive as long as she's skinny. I also don't mind if she's asexual or awkward/shy.

>>18590310
Internet for introverts. Even then it's a tough quest because while you can get away with quickly asking if she's dated before, there's no way you can ask if she's ever had sex before getting emotionally invested without scaring her off or offending her. This applies all the more if you want her to have never performed oral sex either - you might elicit a confession by saying you are a virgin yourself, but following that up with "what about oral" would put you well into sleazy territory especially for a conservative girl.

>>18590320
I've had sucess before by saying I'm a virgin first, but where online. I tried tinder but it's nearly all sluts.

>>18590320
Also oral is sex so isn't it assumed?

>>18590329
Serious dating sites, which means preferably the ones you pay for. Tinder is an absolute no go.

>>18590335
not him but what of ok cupid?

>>18590334
It's not assumed. There's arguments for whether oral sex = sex or that it's a sex act but not "sex".. but at the end of the day when talking about virginity they are thinking of dick in pussy. I mean, if your friend told you he lost his virginity you wouldn't think he meant he ate a woman out, right?

>>18590335
Do you seriously think so? I'm really skeptical about those sites. I checked okcupid once and the girls were absolute trash.

>>18590342
I'll just say I've never done anything sexual then.

To girls.

To what degree should men be forward with women?

I understand not just going up and saying "Let's fuck" but how do I know when to escalate and to what level? I also understand that all girls are different and that sometimes you won't know, but are there any general rules?

>>18590340
No personal experience (with any site, I should preface) but doesn't OkCupid cater to liberal millennials kind of?
Either way if you get on a website with a payment treshold you will find much more women who are serious about finding a relationship, less old accounts of people already taken or just looking "for shits and giggles". This is quite common advice for serious internet dating.

Just googling around a bit I also see many options for explicitly conservative dating sites. I think aside from churches those would be the best options.

>>18590350
Can I filter for people my age? I'm scared that since I don't live in a city that I'm mostly going to find single mothers, if I'm lucky a few decent girls at my University(about 30k people).

>>18590348
You should be forward in the sense that it's clear from the very start that you are not looking to be her friend. You don't have to do this with explicit comments of forced touching. It's all in the behavior. If you act like her friend (jumping at the chance to do her any favor, encouraging personal talks early on and offering yourself as a shoulder to cry on), don't be surprised if she turns out to see you as a friend.

Ideally you can use some light flirting to put the thought of you potentially being attracted to her in her head right away. I have a whole clusterfuck written on what flirting means and does and I can dump it if you want (but only if you're actually going to read all of it because it will clutter up the thread and take several posts) but the basics are that when being friendly means being polite, respectful, pleasant etc, being flirty is more of a sweet & sour thing where you are not JUST friendly but also unafraid to tease her a bit, catch her off guard, get her indignant and riled up. It is a more playful and more informal way of interaction.

As for how quick you move from just some flirty interaction to asking her out, touching or making more explicit sexual references, that depends entirely on how positive her feedback is.

>>18590291
>>18590296
>>18590303
Thanks for the answers.
For the first time in my 24 years of existence I am about to enter a situation where I might actually consider having a relationship at some point, due to starting studies in an university in few weeks, hence my pondering about this.
Before this I have been too messed up mentality to even consider the matter.

Ultimately I just want to have a stable, marriage and plenty of kids, just like my parents did. I however fear that in this day and age that will be increasingly hard dream to reach. All the stuff I have read about divorces, cheating etc disgusting bs jave made me bit cynical and distrustful.

>>18590357
Depends on the website but this seems to me like a function virtually any would offer, yes. By far most people have age restrictions when it comes to dating.

>>18590343
It's not perfect but your options are better than approaching girls "in the wild" and putting in lots of work before ever finding out whether they even meet your virginity criterium. Church related stuff is really the only place where you can expect virgins to congregate.

>>18590364
I guess I'll give it a shot, but again aside from school I live in a pretty suburban area so I'm not expecting a lot.

>>18590363
For what it's worth, the divorce statistics aren't actually as grim as they often seem. The regular 50% number includes people who got married crazily young, and people who are (both) higher educated also have a much better shot at making it.

https://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2013/article/marriage-and-divorce-patterns-by-gender-race-and-educational-attainment.htm

>>18590363
>I however fear that in this day and age that will be increasingly hard dream to reach.
You're actually much more likely to achieve that than your parents - less marriages end in divorce today, and cheating was basically acceptable till 40 years ago (for men, at least).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkAxeL3K5ws

>>18590207
You can ask her if there's any movie she wants to show you, like her favourite movie.
Since you seem so nervous, I suggest ordering food. Otherwise you can cook something together.

>>18590071
Yes, I'd find it off putting

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What goes goes on in a woman's head when they decide on who to have sex with?

>>18590445
>Do I want to have sex with this person?

I'm working a dead end job that pays the bills. I have no hopes or asperations to do anything else in life. I used too, but they were crushed. And I won't be returning again.

Is that mindset unattractive? Yes, I make a living. Got a small "starter" house that will likely be my only house. And that's it. And that's all it'll ever be.

>>18590453

I fucking knew women were crazy and complicated, but I never expected this much...

What the fuck is wrong with your gender?

I'm in love with a married woman, what the fuck do I do?

We're both 23, she's got a kid and she mentions her husband from time to time yet she never really goes into detail about him. Heard from a friend that she once told him that she's only with the guy for the kid's sake so I'm sure this is what's giving me hope.
I can't shake these feelings. I don't know what else to do, I don't want to embarass myself.

>>18590454
I know you know it is

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What could be the problem?


>Be in long distance relationship
>Used to webcam every single day
>Suddenly I'm the only one who does it
>She refuses to turn her cam on
>Also refuses to send me pictures
>Just tells me "Not gonna happen"
>Won't talk about it


I've been dating this girl for 3 years, we used to be together in person but after school we went different ways, we visit each other every other month and are making plans to move in together soon

But I can't for the life of me figure out why she won't show me herself anymore, I'm not talking about anything dirty, just normal webcam chat and pictures, I send her pictures of me at work and in the morning every single day, it's been almost 5 WEEKS since she last sent me a picture or got on webcam

I tried for days to get her to talk about it and I stopped when she said "You're pissing me off, stop asking" so now I'm just left wondering.

women:
My girlfriend will throw little "shut up's" at me occasionally and insist that it's a joke while it seems rude as hell. I've told her I don't like it but it always comes back after enough time and she doesn't feel bad about it. Should I keep telling her i don't like it because it doesn't seem to help

>>18590361
Not the anon you replied to but, I'm interested in that flirt dump

>>18590494
Tell her seriously. My boyfriend used to do something (dunno the name, it's like slightly hitting someone's ass with your fingers real fast, he used to do it all the time while I was making food) I disliked and I kept telling him to stop but he didn't do it until I told him seriously to stop and that I was sad because I didn't know how to make him understand that I really disliked it. It's also happened the other way around and I stopped and apologised when I finally understood.
I think it's important not to make the other person feel bad for it, because maybe they genuinely believe it's okay and that you take it as a joke.
Good luck.

>>18590540
Thanks, yeah; that last sentence rings the most true. I know they don't see it as being serious but i can't just say I don't like it without making them understand it, otherwise it's meaningless

FOR GIRLS, have you ever had sex with someone with a below average penis? Not micro mind you, just below average. Was he confident in and outside the bedroom?

>>18590465
Cut contact. Or kill another home and enjoy tsking care of somebody else kid.
>homewrecker
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=snl-WsFm-kc

>>18590488
>long distance relationship
Found the problem. If you cant cuddle, you arent real couple, period. She finally found somebody from her location and you should do the same. Break up.

>>18590618
I would like to see psychological profile of anon who keeps asking questions like these.

How long or in depth does a conversation have to be for it not to be weird to ask for a girl's number afterwards? How would you even go about it if it's your first time meeting and the chances of meeting a second time are pretty low (ie; you met at a bar or event).

>>18590653
Just get in the habit of always asking for it at the end of the conversation no matter what.

I dont know where to say this but i think i am destroying my life.

I split up with my gf on tuesday, i spent 3 years with her and she is the loveliest girl. but i dumped her because i am a cunt who cheated on her

I ended my relationship on tuesday, and since then i have not been sober i have spent £400 on cocaine in these last few days and slept with one absolutely crazy woman who scares the shit out of me.

I am wired of my head right now after taking £50 worth of drugs, i am an absolute cunt for cheating on my gf and i dont know what to do wtih myslef. i have no been sober sincde i split up and this will be the first time i sleep in my own bed.

Anyone understand me at all, i feel like shit i am crying on my own in my bedroom

How do I get in touch with my feminine side?

>>18590667
Did you tell her you cheated on her?
Also, why did you cheat on her? Don't say you just wanted to get your dick wet, it's always something that lies beneath that.

girls,
handsome but poor or average and rich?

>>18590465
Fuck off and cut contact. Quit being a narcissistic cunt.

>>18590672
I told her, and it is because i had a relationship where i hardly ever saw her because she works 6 days a week.

I would always make sacrafcises to see her, i had to wake up at like 4am for work but i stiill wanted to see her. She woulsnt come up to me when she had work.

And in 3 years i met her family maybe 3 times at most.

Like when i told her i wanted toi end it she was upset, and said she loved me which i know she does. but she was like i just that you find someone that makes you as happy as you made me.

I felt so fucking bad, she is such a lovely girl but we are not compatible. i met her when we werre both going through a bad time in our life, i was deprressed and she just lost her farther.

So irts shit

>>18590683
7.5/10 and middle class

>>18589706
meh, i'm from eastern europe, we live with our parents till 30 even, or until we end up in a loong term relationship. (the parents tend to be chill there, too.)
i hear in the west it's more of a no-no.

>>18589834
definitely. it's cause i used to not be able to deal with shy people at all. and i turned down at least 2 guys cause it was just awkwardness, i was shy, he was shy, we both liked each other, yet shit didn't go anywhere. i don't know where they are now, but i know i got much more confident in the meantime, and would not care if they were still shy.

(that being said, i'm in the same situation now. a guy turned me down many years ago. we didn't even talk for years. but last month i moved to his neighborhood it turns out.....so we ran into each other, we had a few drinks. and i unfortunately like him more than ever. what do i do? ugh. i should just ask him out.)

>>18589864
depends... i mostly do that unconsciously, and then it's really a signal of attraction. other times it's just windy and i have to detangle my hair every minute, it's freaking boring.

>>18590036
you only see half of my ass if you see me go swimming.

>>18590071
it sounds hot actually.

>>18590348
i cannot think of a general rule, really. case by case i say. with my best friends we're quite similar, yet there is one of them who would slap the guy if he flat out asked her to fuck, and never talk to him again, whereas another friend and me... we would just find it cute, and decide based on how nice and reliable you seem. (reliable as in "is this guy gonna wear a condom properly and is he not gonna tell his friends i'm a slut for fucking him when he asked me to fuck him")

>>18590685
i should add on top i have not even seen her in person, i ended it after she called me becuasue she knew sometginf is wrong.

I told her i would meet her and have the conversation on ending it, but since the phone call neither of us has contactted eah other, and i think its probablt make it even harder if i did meet her. if i met her i would just want her back, she told me she wants me but there is no point because i am a dick.

before then i had cheated multiple times, slept with 2 other women and kissed hundreds. i am a cunt and she deserves better, i told her what i had done and she still loves me whicj makes it worse .

>>18590653
5 minutes. If she likes you, you have nothing to worry about. If she doesnt like you (arent attractive enough), you lost the game before it even started.

>>18590667
Call your parents, friends anybody to see you. Hell even visiting mental ward and saying them you feel like self harm might do the trick. Get help. Asap.

>>18590670
http://www.webmd.com/menopause/guide/which-type-of-estrogen-hormone-therapy-is-right-for-you

>>18590683
7.5 and intelligent.

One day my girlfriend started acting mean to me for no reason. Later on she told me it was because she was having paranoid thoughts of being cheated on.

I've never cheated, and I don't even talk to other girls, so I'm not sure where this was coming from. Should I be concerned?

>>18590700
Do you still want to be with her?

>>18589588

Can you femanon suggest me a respectful way to ask to a girlfriend of mine if can we have sex? She knows everything about my issues with women, we talk a lot, we feel affection one for the other. I'm not precisely asking for a fwb relationship, I'm asking more of a sexual experience after 3 years of complete void.

I feel something for her, and maybe she is into me, but I'm not ready for a relationship now, I miss sex and affection tho.

Don't treat me like shit for this question of mine.

>>18590709
There was probably something that happened that made her feel uncertain in the relationship. Maybe she'd had past relationships (romantic or not) that taught her not to trust people or rely on them

question to guys :

do you think makeup is cheating ?

would you leave your gf who turned 35 for a younger and prettier one ?

>>18590706
I am not gonna self harm, unless drinking and taking drugs counts as self harm.

I feel so fucking shit, i have not told anyone i split up with her aside from two friends. They basically told me it was the right thing to do.

But i aint told my family, i have not even been home last few days i just lied to my family saying im round my mates whilst im shagging some crazy women with a fucking boy friend.

I have taken drugs every fucking day and i am out tomorow too, i feel like if i stay at home i am just wasting my time, like i need to be out and not think. I have tried to avoid drink and stick to drugs because booze makes me depressed as shit

>>18590725
>do you think makeup is cheating ?

I like minimalist make-up. I think if there's too much then it is cheating and you aren't being true to what you actually look like

Would I leave a GF just because she turned a certain age? No, but if she was a mean bitch then that is different.

>>18590725

lifting bras are.

but it's better to wear little make up. We like you the most without it

>>18590710
I know i should not be with her, i do love her but the relationship was shit.

So no i dont want to be with her, but i dont know the guilt and fact that i treated such a nice girl like shit makes me feel like shit.

And after speaking to other girls i kinda realize how normal and nice she is, like everyone speaking to me is fucking nuts.

I am decent looking and can get laid when i want, but i dont care about that i used to be a massive slag i just want someone who loves me for who i am.

but yeah we had a lot of problems, and there is no way to fix them

My girlfriend and I are having problems having sex. We've tried multiple times but haven't been able to fit it in. We've tried lube, I've tried going down on her for over an hour to relax her. I think she may have that condition called vaginismus.

Has anyone else here experienced this? How did you solve it? Does she need to see a gynecologist or something?

>>18590746
How do you know there's no way to fix them?

>>18590618
They did not seem confident, and I don't get it. Thick and short is my fave, but somehow thick and short guys don't believe it. Oh well.

>>18590653
"May I ask for your number?"

>>18590683
You mean face? There are dozens of other things I care more about than face.
humor > intelligence > fitness > cleanliness > taste > priorities in life > attitude > ...
I have no problem with relatively poor, but middle class is the best.
(I would not start dating some homeless guy, but I did have a boyfriend whom I saved from becoming homeless by throwing money at him... I am probably not your average girl, though.)

>>18590755
I have done to much damage, it is not fair on her.

she would take me back she even said to me she would. But i am fucked and i know i will do it again, i love her and hope she finds someone who wont be a cunt to her like me.

I dont think i can have relationship im shit,

>>18590769
Why do you think you'll do it again?

Here's a serious question for women out there.

I'm 5'6" and babyfaced. I've been told that given my height and face, my sex appeal is essentially the male equivalent to that of an overweight woman. According to some individuals, this means that if my standards don't include women who are overweight, I am shooting for women who are out of my league, and my expectations are too high. Would you say this is true?

>>18590720
Do you ever hang out at your place? Or hers?
Just have a few netflix nights, and wait.

>>18590774
James Corden is real.

>>18590728
No you didnt get me. You are right now in middle of hell. And you can end up VERY BADLY unless you somehow exit it. And one way is to ask somebody you trust to save you.

It is very easy to have total mental breakdown when on drugs, stressed, not eating for days and alone. Please reach for help until it is too late. If not for your own sake, then for your parents, they will be sad if anything happens to you.

Stay safe!

>>18590725
Not really. It is dating game. Almost everything is ok. Do everything you can to get that cute boy femanon. Dont worry, we have our own weapons as well.

>>18590720
>3 years
So is she virgin? You? Ever had sex together? Normally i would say flirt and or cuddle and escallate, but i bet there is something you havent told us.

Also after 3 fucking long years i would think you know each other so well there isnt a single taboo subject to talk about?

Simply ask her?

>>18590709
Cheaters are super jealous and paranoid of their own partners. Be careful anon.

>>18590752
Gyno is always safe bet in all cases. Have you tried to insert one finger? Then more? Guide your penis via your hand?

Otherwise some girls need to be "streched". Google reversal kegel excercises. That is what she wants to do. Also get some dildo and let her train.

In the meantime, oral sex and mutual masturbation should do the trick. Practice makes perfect. One finger at a time.

>>18590774
Look at justin bieber. Certain type of girls love this type of boys. Just find them. Try to hit on various types of women and girl. Sooner or later some will want to cuddle you.

>>18590771
I know i will, when i go out i cant stop myself really atractive girls come up to me and i love it.

I love flirting, i love the affection/attention, i know that i will do it again. the only thing i can say is that only talk to girls who try to chat me up. but that aint no good.

There is no point being in a relationship, i know i will cheat on her because i dont care. And pretty much any relationship i probably would not care beacuse i see sex as nothing more that a hug,

>>18590774
No, that's bullshit. Stop talking to the people who told you that. Chances are, you are attractive. (to me at least)

I'd date you in a heartbeat if I could.

How do I ask my crush if he's into goth girls? Don't want to make it seem pushy.

>>18590775

we live far away now. But I want to visit her asap. I'll do it. Where should I gently touch her to communicate my desire? Shoulder? Sorry for the neo-virgin questions.

>>18590786
>
Thank you i will try to talk to my best friend, but i find it hard to talk about my emotions and stuff.

I normally just get wasted and cry on some random person on a night out. But even i do talk about it i dont know where to go from here, like i dont want to sleep around anymore and i cant rush into a relationship. And its sad not having someone to talk to at night, i kinda wish i just had a person i could talk to about feelings say goodnighht to and send funny pictures.

>>18590788
Maybe you could try therapy to break your need for affection and validation from other women?

Sounds like you're starved for touch and emotional connection, and having sex is a safe way for you to try and meet that need. Plenty of people have sex where it's not very emotionally involved. I just recently got through a book which argued there are three types of sex. Just because you're stuck on the first level doesn't mean you're doomed to cheat.

I had a phase where I cheated on my partner. A lot. I worked on my issues with my relationship and myself. Now, I have zero desire to cheat because my relationship finally fulfills my needs.

from a guy to other guys
am I the only one who doesn't give a fuck about her ass? and as long as here breast is not tiny or flat (or super big) I don't give a fuck about it either

>>18590786
>Cheaters are super jealous and paranoid of their own partners. Be careful anon.
I know that can be the case sometimes, but couldn't it just be that she was feeling really insecure that day or something? I don't really have reason to doubt her

>>18590786

Both of us are not virgin. We never had sex together. We know each other since 3 years ago, and that was about the moment I broke up with my gf. Since then I never had sex again.

You are right, there isn't any taboo subject bewteen us, but I am scared to ask anyway. What if I am too straightforward? (Because that's the way I usually do this kind of things, and I always get rejected). What if I am too fake? Thats my thought process.

>>18590786
>Gyno is always safe bet in all cases
I feel like that's right, but I doubt she'd go because she's afraid of that kind of stuff. I'm still trying to convince her to see a doctor about something else with no success.

How should I approach her to talk about this so that she'd go?

>be female with low index finger to ring finger digit ratio
Is there a worser feel? I always knew I was more "aggressive" than other girls but it's because what happened to me in the womb

>>18590809
Did you stay with same partner after cheating?

Yeah i have some problems when it comes to dating, my gf/ ex gf was the only person that got through to me and made me want to be with them.

I have pretty bad comitement issues probably, i cant get past a sexual stage with 99% of women and it was weird i even got with my gf she changed me a lot.

Before meeting her i would sleep with anything, take huge amounts of drrugs fuck prosititues and do what ever. Since being with her, like threse last few days only time i have veen like this

>>18590803
It's might be creepy if you plan it in advance. (Not planning itself, I just mean that your facial expression might be weird if you "execute a plan".) Try not to plan, even if it's hard. Fantasising, sure, but like, some things better not to plan.
That being said, touching the middle of the back is probably a safe zone, go from there based on her reaction.

>>18590817
I really think she just went through a phase where she was feeling insecure.

Oftentimes, things happen that we don't even notice, but they can be practically catastrophic to our partner. A certain tone, a specific comment, a lack of response or the lack of a certain response to a question. When we have a shaky foundation of healthy emotional relationships, these can shake us to our core. From one little thing, suddenly we feel like the relationship is threatened, and we can jump to the worst conclusions.

You mean a lot to her. You are important to her. She relies on you for comfort, security, and love. When something happens to threaten the relationships with our close ones, our amygdala fires up. We don't think rationally; we feel, we act. She's probably just terrified of losing you because of how much that would hurt her

>>18590827
sorry but what's wrong, exactly ?

>>18590811

I don't stare at a girls ass in general, doesn't draw my eye. But I like the feel of them in my hands, so there's that.

>>18590826
Not same person, but... Her parents should've taught her better, so not too much you can do.
It can suck going to the gyno, so ask if she want accompaniment or something. She'll say no, but still.

>>18590830
I did, and we're stronger than ever! It probably makes me biased to be idealistic about other people's relationships lol. But still! I think you can do it if both of you are willing to work hard enough. If you have the attitude "This can't work out" then it won't, because you won't be putting in 100%. You'll just be giving in to your own self-defeating prophecy. Give yourself the chance to surprise yourself! You are stronger than you know

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>>18590811
Not even sure what have you tried to tell anon. But it is evident white gentelmen want boobs more than ass.

>>18590817
Who knows anon. Trust your gut. If everything feels ok, forget about the incident and remember, you fight with girls insecurities by ignoring them completely (dont remind them) and giving her time to deal with it herself.

>>18590826
Girls like manly men. Be a leader. Find gyno in an area, ensure health insurance compatibility, inform her she is going to ensure she is alright, book appointment and then drag her there while being stoic emotional support.
>she will love you even more for that

But i bet she just needs to train for the sex to be comfortable and relaxed. Cant you even get one finger inside?

>>18590791
>>18590786
>>18590783
Appreciate the honest answers, everyone.

>>18590831

Thank you so much.

>>18590838
means i have more testosterone
it doesn't show physically aside from my strength (im very neotenous) but its depressing

A girl in my grad program asked me to get lunch with her... is this a date? She always seems to be touchy with me and wanting to text me (e.g., I purposely let convos die then she'll say something to keep it going)

>>18590846
I honestly dont think i have it in me to try, i do love her as a person i think she is a lovely girl but i can not be with her.

I split up with her about a year ago after i cheated the first time, i told her i cheated and told her it wont work. She took me back and we worked on it but at the end of the day i went back to old habits.

I am gonna avoid seeing her in person because i know if i see her we will sort it out, but it is not fair on her so we need to move on.

Why did you cheat? I dont really know true down why i do it myself.

>>18590850
>Book appointment and drag her there
One thing I should mention is that she has some irrational fears about men due to past experiences. I know what you said would be the right thing to do, but I can almost picture her reacting like

>Wow, you don't care that it bothers me to go somewhere like that. You know I'm afraid of this kind of stuff.

And in her mind she might think I'm controlling and just want her for sex.

Should I just try anyway and if she says anything like that, try to brush it off?

>>18590850
Oh, and to add to your other question. Yes I can fit a finger in. I fit two in before, but she said it hurt

>>18590860

I would like that!

>>18590860
Why is it depressing ? it's a cool thing you have more physical strength than your usual girl ! I wish I were like you.

>>18590865
>(e.g., I purposely let convos die then she'll say something to keep it going)

And then we guys complain about women playing games...

>>18590868
I cheated because my bf was getting too close to me. I'd had a *lot* of past experiences that taught me it wasn't safe to open up, to anyone, ever, no matter how they said or acted. My past relationships didn't help that. I'd decided that I didn't want a relationship at all, and that worked excellently until I met the love of my life. I denied it for so long because I had told myself not to let anyone have power over my emotions ever again. But I couldn't help my feelings. The stronger they grew, the more afraid I got. I kept my distance, but everyone longs for touch and emotional connection, and so I sought that out in other people. It didn't matter if I fucked up with them--they were nothing to me. I felt safer with them than with my boyfriend because I had nothing to lose with them. It didn't help that my boyfriend has a lower sex drive and we'd been LDR for a while, and I needed that reassurance that I was desired, attractive, important, and I found that with other people because I didn't know how to let myself be vulnerable enough to ask for that validation from him.

>>18590865
She wants your D minimum. But i bet she wants to trap you into marriage as well anon. Question is: do you want to fall for such obvious trap as well?

Bring condoms and after such action ask her on real date.

>>18590875
Just do it. In future she will be your pregnant wife and i bet you wont do the whole birth thing with her alone.
>past experiences
Raped? This maybe requires psycholog as well.
>>18590879
>two fingers in
That isnt vaginism. Or even if it is, not severe case. Gyno will probably tell you the same: train her vagina. She has to be relaxed, trust you and every day you can try until she will be confortable enough with penetration.

Get jer to gyno at any cost. If she is that mentally unstable to see a doctor like adult would, reconsider why are you dating her in the first place.
>promise her ice cream if she will go? :-)

>>18590887
>>18590894
So are you guys saying that it is a date?

>>18590919

With this info alone it's impossible to tell. Maybe, maybe not.

Is there a good way to get girls to notice that I even exist?

>>18590971
Why do you feel they don't currently notice your existence?

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>>18590971

girl im dating last night called me last night when she was on the verge of blacking out to tell me that she was sorry for cheating on me, then played it off like it was her just being dumb and drunk.

I kind of don't want to bring it up because it will be a battle of "he said, she said" and I just want to walk now and cut any sort of contact I have without her knowing.

Kinda fucked up over it but kind of feel sort of relieved, Idk.

>>18590860
And I was born with mild scoliosis and flat foot. We all have our shit to deal with and you're even admitting it doesn't affect how you look so I don't really get the issue.

If, according to the men of 4chan, men are so great, nice and smart, and women are so evil or stupid, how come almost all rapists are male?

>>18591031
Because they've seen their true nature of evil, it becomes the logical next step

>>18591031
Don't. Just stop.
At least have the decency to show some statistics, I mean come on. Bait 101

>>18591040
>gets baited anyway

>>18591035
But why do men rape other men more than women then?

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>>18591031
>lesbian relationships have the highest domestic violence rates, including sexual violence
>second is lesbian and bisexual women relationships

Why are women so evil to each other?

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Guys I have a problem. I hate how I look--my golden hair, my olive skin, my hazel eyes, my perpetually worn out face. I can't bear to look in the mirror anymore. The more weight I lose - I'm down 60 and at 150 now - the worse and worse I feel. Each time someone looks at me I feel terrible and just want to hide forever.

I am just a 21 year old girl but I feel so wretched and...I look at the other girls and feel sad. All of them seem so wonderful. And I'm just...I don't know. How the fuck do you even over such a engulfing self-hatred?

>>18591084
It depends on how you're losing weight. Exercise and die? Or are you doing the starvation and vomiting thing?

>>18591087
Just calorie cutting mostly from being a starving student, no exercise. I've been home a few weeks now and still haven't really gained anything. I can't believe people throw up just to lose weight... -_-;

>>18591092
Eat better and exercise, just cutting back on food will make you feel crappy.

>>18591097
Nah, it's just mostly emotional pain. I've been eating normally for the first few weeks--overindulging sometime, honestly. Like Physically, I have a perpetually tense-feeling face and slight fatigue thing like I have had for years. Nothing outta the ordinary for me.

Exercise would be good, though...

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>>18591107
Cross out "like". Dammit, I need to learn how to edit and not be online past my bedtime.

>date a guy with money
"Girls are only ever interested in money, fucking golddigging whores"
>date a guy without money
"Lol why are you dating a fucking beta loser? Have some self respect"

Have any of you women ever been friends with a guy who was overweight and a bit of a schlub who later turned everything around? If so, do you ever compare him to how he used to be?

>>18591123
>two extremes
Apples and oranges you dipshit.

>>18591128
My best friend is fairly fat but he started dieting the past months and lost some kilos. I'm happy he is getting healthier but honestly, even if he gets mega ripped he will always be the same for me. I don't care about his looks because we are so close, like a family.

>>18591084
Okay, by worse than ever, I meant my self-confidence--it's like I didn't really mind anything when I was fatter and now I just want to hide under a rock forever.

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>>18591031

>>18591084
By dieting you've probably lost sone muscle mass. Get building some muscle ASAP or you will fuck up your metabolism.

Doesn't have to be hard, start out slow. Just start with 3 repetitions for each muscle group, this takes about 15 mins. Do it twice a day. Tons of videos on YouTube.

Weight means nothing if you've destroyed your muscle mass. Look at the difference of a lb of fat and a lb of muscle. Muscle burns weigh more than fat, plus you'll get nice and toned.

Your diet is probanly wearing you down, work out your resting calorie burn, probably around 1300 for your size. Never eat less than this. Exercise to create a deficit in energy in to energy out.

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>>18591249

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Matthew 5:27-28
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Women
Should I just try to forget about you?

>>18591424
We rely on others for a sense of security and comfort, much like a child depends on a parent and reaches for them when they feel unsure. You can get meaningful emotional connection and closeness from anyone. Unfortunately, getting close to people means exposing your vulnerabilities, and people will inevitably, accidentally or not, injure those soft spots from time to time.

>>18589588
This is for girls. And it's kind of a rare situation but I'll ask anyway. Have physical appearance changes ever changed your interest in a guy? For example, if a guy cleans up his appearance, dresses nicer, works out and gets a little more muscle. Has someone gone from "not-datable" to "datable" through those kinds of changes?

In my particular case, I'm losing weight (93lbs down, 57 to go) and I kind of wonder if a girl (who I've never asked out) might be more interested when I get down to my goal weight. Right now she's neutral towards me.

Alternatively, if anyone has experience where they were asked out, weren't interested, and then the person improved and they changed their minds, I'd love to hear about that too.

>>18591431
But why should I show anyone, especially a woman, what a sad, self loathing sack of shit I am at heart, instead of my masculine, stoic exterior? The'll realize what a shameful joke I am

>>18589588
umm hmm
Do you like jazz?

>>18591475
You aren't a sad sack of shit. You can still be masculine and show your vulnerability. You aren't a joke. You're just wounded. We're all wounded, in our own ways. There are people who get that, and they'll accept you and help you heal those wounds.

how do i figure out what makes me so overwhelmingly repulsive? no one will tell me

>>18591533
Why do you feel you're repulsive?

>>18589865
I am in an eerily similar situation

>>18591540
i hit triple digit rejections in a row this last year despite having a lot going for myself. having a lot more going for me than a lot of other people i know with healthy long term relationships


if i wasn't a repulsive monster i would be able to at least get an occasional date. someone, somewhere would want to spend time with me.

i know, objectively, that in all other aspects of life i am a fantastic person, but something is off. it's not even really a case of being ugly or weird because ugly and weird people also find love. there is something about me that is very, very fucked up and I can't figure out what it is

>>18591545
But what could possibly be wrong with you? How have you asked people out? Do you have friends? What are your flaws?

>>18590073
dumbass, #1 most men have hairy asses. #2 a woman's ass is just more aesthetically pleasing in general. I imagine most women will agree with me on this.

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Girls, what would you say a guy can do to improve his luck with dating apps/online dating?

Im beggining by getting /fit/, already lost 20lbs, need 35 more to get to 185.

>>18591553
if i knew i would be trying to mitigate it
i've asked my friends, i've asked my parents, i've asked some of the women who have rejected me.

answers range from "haha what do you mean" to "i thought you had a gf" to "i don't know"

i'm kinda a weird goofball, i really like romantic comedies. i didn't used to but now i have completely stopped flirting with women or treating them any different from anyone else. there's just no point anymore

pessimism is probably my biggest flaw. it's hard to avoid because i'm proven right so damn often

>>18591573
Hmmm. I don't think there's something repulsive secret about you, I don't see how there could be.

How old are you?

>>18591578
26
male
6'2
fat
i lost 40 pounds this year and have been hovering because it's hard work, and friends/coworkers have been treating me worse. maybe it's not related, but that's the only significant change ive had recently

a degree and a handful of diplomas, getting my masters right now

11/hr

used to be in the army

i drive a fantastic beater of a truck that's gotten me through a cross country move and piles of camping and road trips

i'm divorced

haven't had anything approaching a date in almost 2 years (holy shit)

there's probably something obvious that i'm just not seeing

My girlfriend is coming over in a few days to watch movies together.
What is Netflix and chill etiquette? What do I do and what should I not do?

>>18591589
I'm not sure what to tell you, I'd say maybe weight but plenty of overweight people are in relationships. Sometimes there's not a reason for why things haven't turned up. It's infuriating, especially to our human brains who love to attach meaning to things (death especially). But sometimes you can't really answer the question "Why?" except with "Because someone just hasn't said yes yet." The only other possible thing I could think of is either where you're asking people out, the kind of people you're asking out, or where you're asking people out

>>18590687
woo hoo!

>>18590708
yay

>>18591589
>>18591593
Or perhaps how, what is your current method for asking women out on dates?

>>18590683
Nah I'd choose poor/ugly/smart/not evil.

>>18591593

Not him but I've asked all kinds of women out, nothing. Though I have Asperger's but I've lost over 60 pounds and I do decent for myself. There's one girl from high school many many years ago that I'm still stuck on but she'd never give me the time of day even though she has a bunch of kids now and is a single mom. That's really the only girl I want but I know it probably isn't going to happen.

>>18591616
there is no current, I'm done.

sometimes id chat a young woman up while in a line at the store, sometimes id known her for a bit from school or a social thing

it was usually something along the lines of "I'm doing x, you should come with" or "wanna get coffee/tea/etc"

>>18591840
I don't see a glaring issue with that, must be some vibe you put out, because I don't know what else there is.

>>18591107
iron deficiency? or sugar withdrawal? eat properly, sleep properly, exercise a bit.

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>>18591084
Let your bf to do the rating. As far as the feeling like shit goes, it will continue until your body gets used to it which can takes weeks even after your fiet ends.
>>>/fit/ sticky

>>18591123
Pic related.

>>18591334
Matthew can go fuck himself with crucifix.

>>18591438
Once you are friendzoned, it is over in 99% cases. Get attractive, forget about your crush and find new girl to date. Have some self respect. Once she rejected you, it is over.

>>18591563
Get better profile pics.
Get different dating apps.

>>18591592
You put movie on, sit VERY close to her, first 5 minutes you pretend you watch movie, then you pour her red wine. After the alcohol gets time to work, you start the assault cuddling. She will pretend she is innocent clueless girl and you have to pretend you are horny male beast hungry for cuddles. It is a game, be playful and see for yourself where she will allow it to escallate. Condoms?

>>18591128
Yeah, I mean I thought he was 10/10 just cause of his sexy brain when he was fat as hell. In the past few years he lost weight gradually, and I'm like, damn, you're gonna turn into a god at this rate.

How do people who don't use online dating applications meet other single people these days? How do women want to be approached outside of an online dating setting? I'm asking because I'm very skeptical that the women on tinder or okc want a serious relationship

>>18592091
Through friends, at university or work, at parties, through volunteering or hobby events (like a music festival, poetry slam, open to all lecture, group hike, local political meet ups). The upside of these is that you get a more thorough impression, and you can be surprised by how much chemistry you have with someone you'd never go for based on an online profile. Downside is that you will sometimes be disappointed because you have to invest a bit before finding out that they're potentially taken or not looking for a relationship.

I don't really care how a guy approaches me as long as he is actually paying attention to how I react and knows when to back down. Nowadays I will just walk away if a guy doesn't respect this but back when I was too awkward to not find that rude, I've had guys ignore ten "I'm not interested" responses in a row which is incredibly demeaning and frustrating. As long as you are actually -seeing- if there's a click and not coming to me to try to get my number one way or another, I don't care what the situation is or any other factor for that matter.

Another thing is to avoid stuff like pick up lines or a "routine" where you introduce yourself in a funny rehearsed way. Ultimately you want to talk as one human being to another and it is much more difficult to respond naturally and sincerely to someone who is doing an act instead of acting normal. The best way to go is to get some small talk going, if you're bad at that just stick to a quick "you made an impression on me, how about getting drinks sometime".

And for what it's worth, 95% of the strange men who have approached me in public did so after exchanging a smile or longer eye contact.

>>18592114
Of course this is talking about approaching girls "in the wild". It is much easier when you're already in the same place because it won't be as apparent right away that you took a (potentially romantic) interest in her. In that case just run with whatever works out in the moment. Commenting on a shared interest or experience is always the best way, even if that translates to just a sidelong remark about how a certain speaker was fumbling through or doing a great job. You always want to subtly direct attention to what you have in common.

If you want to have the best success rate, practice as much as you can with small talk. Talking to a woman you might connect with or talking to an old man on the subway isn't that different in terms of what works and what doesn't. Everyone likes someone taking a real interest in them and obviously actually listening. Everyone likes being made to crack a smile or hearing an observation or thought that makes them pause and gives them an idea of what kind of person you are. Everyone likes someone who reaches out to someone else rather than try to build themselves up to be better. What's more, talking to a variety of people will not just make you more versatile and sensitive in terms of what tone to use, what kind of topics to breach, but will also give you a sense of perspective. You can be friendly and polite and person A will love you for it and person B will find a reason to be pissed off by that. If you ever worked in the service industry you'll know that people are fickle like that and how they react to you has a lot to do with their character and what kind of day they're having, not just with what you said or did. That will help you take rejections less gravely and let them affect your self esteem less.

Plus try to not get hung up on girls especially girls you barely know and built up in your head. Invest most effort into the girls who give most back.

Been chatting with a girl from a dating app. I'll be in her country in a few weeks. Yesterday she told me she'd love to spend some time in an art cinema together, as we both like art movies.

Got her number and today I texted her about a movie she had in her profile, she said she loves it, and I told her

>You're the first girl I've met that likes -moviename-. You're right, we should waste our time in an art cinema together.
>Already know to which cinema to go when we meet in -hercity-?

Is this too bold? Do I look bad with that last line? I'm overthinking a lot, waiting her answer.

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>>18592138
It's not too bold, you didn't suggest anything she didn't already suggest herself here. The only thing that stood out to me is that I automatically read "you're right, we should waste our time" in a kind of passive aggressive manner, but given the follow up question and the context I'm sure that she'll understand you don't mean the wasting part in a negative manner.

If she comments on it, say that she's right and you remembered the John Lennon quote.

>>18592154
my bad, forgot to pinpoint that she was the one that said "waste our time" yesterday when she mentioned going to an art cinema, so i was just paraphrasing her. so i guess it's ok.

i even thought already of that quote in case it came up the time to use it, ty

i really need to stop overthinking texting so much

>>18590811
I'm a thigh man myself.

>>18592160
Yes, then it's absolutely fine. Nothing to worry about, enjoy your time together.

>>18592091
A lot of people on tinder and okc want serious relationship.

I meet a lot of people through my friends, through school and volunteering or while working out. I also go to events that interest me (seminaries, classes, reading, meet ups, etc)

To guys:
Describe the girl you'd marry!

>>18592201
has her own job and aspirations in life that are somehow compatible with mine (reasonable stuff, no pipedreams), doesn't want children and won't stop with our sex life once we're married. also one that cares about her physical well-being and exercises, as I do the same

i basically want a life partner that doesn't become a typical housewife. I'm not really sure about the children part, in the inside I think I will eventually want to have some (at the very least to continue my family "legacy", I'm an only child, got some weird family name and would be sad to lose it). but im scared about becoming like my father and my wife becoming like my mother.

>>18592213
interesting to read my exact thoughts coming from a guy, gives me hope.

>>18592138
the "waste our time" part is a bit weird, but based on the context, it might be okay.

>>18592201
a modest (not in a sexist way, I'm a modest man myself), traditional (not religious though) girl that has a job but still wants children, one who values her heritage and has a lot in common with me, being from my race/country is a bonus

>>18592201
>asian
>thick
>slutty
>into cuckolding

>>18592201
Smart and pragmatic so I enjoy having discussions with her with any topic and can learn a lot from. Someone that always makes me feel calm when I'm around them. Someone I can come home and relax with without saying a single word. Gentle.

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My LDR boyfriend does not want me to visit him but meets other girl occasionally in real life.

I am being cucked right?

>>18592253
He is not your boyfriend

Guys, especially robots, autists, non-normies who don't open up emotionally

How do I seduce you? I don't mean just getting that D, I mean getting your heart too.

>>18592303
Just keep talking to me. It takes me an abnormally large amount of time to feel comfortable with someone. Talk about your own mishaps and embarrassing situations as well, that helps people in general feel comfortable with you.

>>18592253
LDR are just a lie. Stop convincing yourself what you have is a relationship. If you had grown up in the same town, went to the same school, you probably wouldn't even look his way. You wouldn't end up together. He would be another stupid boy your friends tell you to avoid.

>>18592201
Tall, intelligent, preferably European heritage and curly hair, driven, traditional views on relatoinships and sex.

>>18592354
How tall?

>>18592362
between 5'7 and 6'2 but I'm flexible on this one there are things I'm less flexible on though

>>18590537
Only seeing this now, I went to bed about half an hour after that post. Am dumping in case you still see this.

* * *

Asking how to flirt in itself is kind of like asking how to have a conversation. There is no golden way to do it. What's appropriate in one context isn't in another. What's sexy to one person isn't to another. What comes natural to one person feels awkward to another. So it is about finding both your own (signature) style, and how to adjust that according to the situation and the person you're interacting with.

The first step is realizing what flirting really is. Flirting is essentially playing for adults. You are not necessarily signaling that you want to fuck someone. You are more covertly pointing someone's attention to sexuality, to the sexual potential that exists between the two of you (like it does between all people), or even just the possibility of finding each other attractive. It's just a cheeky little nudge. This is generally speaking, of course. Flirting can be used to downright seduce someone or even for business arrangements. But generally speaking.

The way you do this is by implicitly showing that you have either interest in this person, or just interest in sex/women itself, without showing your hand and spelling out that you want to date/fuck her. That's boring. People like to chase, they like to wonder and fantasize. If you make it clear right away that you are into someone, you appear on their radar as a ready suitor, and people just do not find that as exciting/sexy as having a build up where you're still a free man who might like them and might not like them. Sexiness has quite some to do with emotional risk, which is why sex tends to stall as a relationship grows safer and more comfortable in other aspects.

>>18592432
So what you are doing by flirting [assuming for a moment you are flirting because you like her and want to date her] is allowing her to contemplate you as a potential boyfriend, a potential lover, before being a ready available option to her yet.
People tend to think really simplistically about falling in love, they think that person A chases person B and then something might happen. In real life it's a dance. People like people who show interest in them and are friendly to them. And are nicer to people who interest them and they find attractive. So it's like a cycle where being attracted to someone makes them more attracted to you - because you treat them better, you smile more, you pay attention to what they say, you pay closer attention to how you present yourself. Plus mere exposure effect (people are more likely to fall for someone they see a lot, like a neighbor or colleague). So most often person A does something tiny (smile at B). B notices and appreciates this so next time B will ask A if they also want coffee if they're getting anyway. Person A thinks, how nice, looks at B's ass while getting coffee, and so on.
Flirting is another way to sort of push this whole process forward. By flirting with someone well you can put yourself on the map even if your looks alone (or other stuff about yourself) didn't instantly garner their attention.

I promise all this stuff is important because only if you realize what you are exactly trying to do you can fully analyze how you do it, why stuff went wrong and so on.

Next part is, okay, this is what flirting does, but what does it look like. Well, it comes in many different forms.
This is because people have their personal style that they are still bold enough to do, or that turns them on the most, or that otherwise comes most natural to them.

>>18592435

Most people feel vulnerable and a bit embarrassed to like someone they harbor feelings for someone. They feel stupid or like this person is out of their league. So what they do is they make sure to not look at them too much, to break off eye contact before it gets "weird", to -really- watch themselves when it comes to checking out her body.
Most normal flirting is to not do that. Let her see that you look down at her mouth from time to time while she talks. That you look into her eyes more and longer, that you stand just a little closer. Touch her in little ways (safe options are tapping her shoulder/arm before asking something, or nudging her to something interesting going on - make sure to touch her fast and lightly). Don't hide that just looking at her face makes you smile a little.
If you can tell she's into it - bit flushed, big pupils, leaning forward, touching you back - you can amp it up. She complains about her clothes or body? Do a quick but deliberate up and down and tell her "looks great". (Or "you look great" depending on just how enthusiastic she is.) Look at her ass when she's walking away. If she turns around don't act like you were watching something else, throw up your hands or give a "you caught me" kind of grin.

This is essentially "vanilla flirting". Another example of this is simply being extra nice - doing her tiny little favors, remembering the little stuff.
There are many other ways. Will try to get into them in a bit but before that, let me get to your question about discomfort.


The idea with these things is that you see if she wants to interact with you like this. You try something small and elaborate on that if it works and you can tell she's interested in flirting back. If not, you back off. It's not like you go from 0 to 100 out of nowhere. There's ample time to realize that the chemistry isn't there. People are awkward and try to avoid explicit rejections at all costs. Her real, initial rejection will be painless.

>>18592438
That will take the form of a lack of smiling, acting like she doesn't get the joke or provocation, not looking you in the face. Only if you turn a blind eye towards her non-verbal signs that she's not interested in this shit, will you get called out and have an uncomfortable situation.
There's always lunatics but again, by far most sane people would themselves feel embarrassed to call you out and would much rather not even let it get to that stage to begin with. So they hope you take their cue first.

Other ways of flirting. The only thing they all have in common is that you are essentially singling a person out and not hiding that you are singling them out. Whether you are singling them out by complimenting them or by playfully insulting them doesn't matter much. This is a matter of what you feel most comfortable with and what works best in your own experience.

Let's look at "insulting" flirting. This might seem confusing at surface level, but I like to compare it to banter among guys. What you have to pay attention to is not that at surface level the guy is calling his friend a pussy (or whatever). What matters is the underlying implication: they are good enough friends that he does not have to treat his friend "politely" all the time. That they both know that at the end of the day, they like each other a lot.
Being vulgar and/or "mean" is like an extreme form of being informal, in this case. If you are standing with two co-workers, and one says that qt is going to do x job, you saying "Qt?? With no supervisor??" with exaggerated shock does not tell her that you think she's incompetent. It tells her that you like to rag on her and that you trust she'll know your intentions. That you are inviting her to fuck with you (not even literally, necessarily), inviting her into a more playful dynamic where they don't stick to office etiquette necessarily.

>>18592442
Another factor is that this way you can show off behavior (bossy, cocky, slightly mean) that has no place in polite interaction but can have a place in passion. Good sex isn't -just- tenderness and love, there's something more feisty in there. By flirting this way you can present yourself to her as not just a friendly, pleasant guy but also someone who can get her riled up.

Note how the examples I mention aren't particularly smooth or quoteworthy.

Sure that's partly because I'm making them up on the spot, but also because real life flirting is often kind of cringeworthy or lame/corny to outsiders. It resembles infatuated love babble a lot in that regard.
The thing is: picture a really pretty, cute girl giving you a compliment. Would you be thrown off if that compliment was a bit weird? Fuck no, that would be endearing. In real life the very fact that someone is showing (sexual, romantic) interest is so exciting that it changes the way you look at what's actually said. In a movie where flirting is all cool and witty, the viewer doesn't have those emotions so it needs to be a lot "better" to feel as exciting as normal flirting does in real life.

Either way, back to flirting styles. Try a lot of things. Everyone has things they can do while feeling comfortable and self-respecting, and things that make them feel stupid. Some people can wink unironically, others cringe just imagining it. So start out with stuff that is still within your comfort zone and try to expand that comfort zone. Nothing but practice will make you more sensitive towards the cues that someone else is flirting with you, that they are enjoying it (or getting bored), that you have gone too far or can actually go much further.

>>18592446
Okay thought of two more things I forgot. The easiest way to know whether someone flirts with you or not (if you are not that experienced yet) is looking at whether you are the exception for them, whether they single you out.
A girl giggling and playing with her hair around you could mean she likes you, or maybe it's just what she does. What she does or does not do in absolute terms (assuming it isn't straight up kissing you or inviting you over) matters less than how that compares to how she treats other people. Some people can't flirt at all - if a woman is really sociable and extroverted around everyone, but shy and flustered around you, that's a great sign.

And secondly, just realized that most people think more of sexual jokes/comments when they think of flirting. Those absolutely can be incorporated. If you have a more bold flirting style you can like to drop a sexual comment to a woman - not even necessarily aimed towards her, just, actively putting sex on her mind and making her scramble for a reply. For most people this is way too much to ask/pull off confidently, and explicit sexual references are more something for a further stage when sexual tension has already been established.

Oh and thirdly, you can get away with A LOT as long as you don't act like it's a big deal yourself. One last example: a woman is in your bed after sex, she grins at you, lazily rolls over to kiss you and purrs into your ear "oh by the way I totally lied about being on the pill, I'm going to steal your sperm and everything, how do you feel about that mister?"
Second scenario: she's sitting on the bed giving you a slightly twitchy smile going "h-heh wouldn't it be funny if I lied about being on the pill...? I could steal your sperm..."
First is playing around between lovers, second is CREEPY as fuck. People are not that great at separating how people present themselves from who they actually are (and it often does save time) so if you are nervous you look guilty.

>>18592450
That was the whole thing. One day I will re-organize this thing into something more structured and clear (with bullet points and all). Hope it's helpful anyway. Cheers!

>>18592354
what do you exactly mean by "traditional views on relationships and sex" ?

>>18592201
24~29
Not fat
Not starfish in bed
Her smile makes me forget how to talk
Want 2+ kids
Doesnt put "like to travel" on her dating profile (aka not basic bitch)
Doesnt smoke
Isnt totally crazy
>i know my requirements are impossible to meet, but hope dies last

Under what circumstances would a woman lie about a late period/possible pregnancy to somebody she's in a fwb relationship with?

How do you decide on what to watch during Netflix and chill?

>>18592725
99 reasons
She probably didnt (or did) want to scare you. Maybe it is time to marry her? Tell us more?

>>18592732
Let the lady decide. But you both know you arent there for watching some movie. >>18591592

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>ex
>agreed to be friends despite i refused to at the beginning
>some bullshit reason, whatever, go fuck yourself
>realize later than i am fucking retarded
>eventually forget about her
>seems like at this point almost gotten over her
>she initiates contact

Is this fucking what, a cosmic joke? And I have to see her ass every day now. Should I just cut contact without any explanations? I am too pussy to do it.

>>18592764
i made a thread about it here.

>>18592666

although since posting the thread i asked her if she had time for coffee today.

To women, have you ever felt attracted or liked a man that's chubby or overweight? how was it, why did you like him? also, has that ever happened without any kind of romance or courting beforehand, just like having a crush on him as soon as you see/meet him?

Do you guys/girls masturbate to your ex even if you are in a new relationship?

>>18592827
Or long term relationship

>>18592201
Hmmm
It'd have to be a 7/10 or an 8/10 (or above, sorry for describing it that way lol)
We'd need to have a relationship where a little happiness for whatever reason is present most of our moments together, it can't be dominated by fights or being mad at eachother. If the latter happens it's a really bad indicator. I don't mind anything else, like we both liking the same things like music or shit, i think those are just bonuses. So basically, it'd depend on how our relation is going most of the time.

>>18592827
I think i would, but i usually delete the nudes/videos they send me for security and respect lol (i literally always do that).

>>18592837
I delete them after breaking up btw

Girls
How do I ask for your number without pressuring you? I don't want the girl I'm asking to fear that I'll get pissed or something if she doesn't talk to me or reject me or something.

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>>18592775
>You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her.
Tldr block the bitch.

>>18592815
>>>/fit/ sticky you fat ass. Pic related.

>>18592840
>asking deer about hunting deer
You are the hunter, they are the prey. Even if you somehow pressure her into giving you her number, she can ghost you any time later. Dont care that much about mental rape and stare victims feminazis claim. Hunt them down without any second thought.

Normally you can gauge interest via flirting, observing their body language and chatting them up about random memes like how is your work / school. Still sooner or later you need to go for the kill unless you enjoy being friendzoned. Ask her on date already and good luck!

What do girls mean when they send the smiling monkey covering their eyes emoji?

>>18592815
Lots of times but I think I don't count here because I just like chubby men in general (though not exclusively so).

>>18592900
I have never in my life used that emoji

What do you talk to girls about as a guy when you don't really care about anything? I just want to go home and sleep or play video games. Nothing much else interests me.

But yet, there's this girl on Discord (16 years old while I'm 29), and she won't leave me alone. She really wants my attention but I keep telling her she is too young. Guess now I'll just keep her company as a friend then.

>>18592840
If a girl feels so pressured by you asking for her number that she doesn't dare to say no, that has to do with her personality or mental strength and is not your fault. And I'm saying that as someone who used to give out info I didn't want when I was younger. It sucks but honestly only experiencing the consequences (plus there are always -actually- pushy and unpleasant men around) makes you toughen up and be serious about your boundaries.

As long as you aren't ignoring serious "no"s or pleading/bargaining etc, it's all good. It's called asking for a reason.

>>18592906
If she wants your attention despite you telling her off numerous times, why in the world put in effort to make the conversations interesting for her? Just be your own dispassionate self.

Girls. Let's say you're talking to a guy from a dating app, but you're both traveling and won't be back (and able to set up a date) until 3 weeks later.

How often would you expect him to initiate conversation in those ~3 weeks for you to not forget about him?

>>18592827
No, I rarely think about him and if I do, it's not in a sexual way

Any femanon here have threesome before? I'm sorta on the edge, I've got an opportunity however I'm still unsure

would appreciate any input, even from guys

>>18593035
If I knew a woman I was interested in had a threesome I would no longer be interested in her. But that's just me

>>18591334
Try mentioning the parts of the Bible that say a woman is not to go to Church as she is supposed to worship God through her husband, or how God finds women submitting to her husband as beautiful.

This is the kind of shit that makes me not respect the Christian faith anymore.

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>>18593060
you have to go back

>>18592453
Was a fun read

>>18593063
How about you go back with your shitty and weak interpretation of the Bible.

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>>18593072
nah you gotta go back
no mercy for degenerate feminists

>>18593035
I did, my bf badgered me and finally relented. MMF with his friend and it was horrible for me and didn't relax the whole time. They both treated me like a whore. I started crying and my bf told his friend to put his dick in my mouth so I got up, got dressed and left. ex bf now.

>>18593079
>They both treated me like a whore
it's almost like men who genuinely care for their women don't like to share them

t. thousands of years of social evolution

>>18589588
Guy here, I have a legitimate problem now I think: I cannot fall in love anymore. I still obviously feel feelings and arousal from your form, but I just think, back, think of the many women I saw in my life, I dont think that I ever emotionally connected with one. I just forgot how to do it. Wat do?

>>18593084
My thought exactly. It hurt me when he brought it up and I said no but he wouldn't stop. He never respected me the whole time. If, and thats a big if I get into another relationship and the guy so much as mentions threesome with a male or female partner I'm out.

>>18593086
You just haven't met someone who aroused you mentally yet.
I'm a 24 year old guy, and I've only ever fell in love with two girls my whole life.

>>18593094
Just as the internet is a good congregation of special nutcases (but also a various assortment of very specific in hobbies, and ways of thinking individuals, which you cannot encounter so easily in real life in such high density), I still havent found any kind of woman, be it anonymous or namefaggy that was even remotely interesting. Its always somekind of 50 year old, educated professor, or person like mark rippletoe who dish out cool content (but whom I which obviously dont fall in love with since I am not a homo lol), but you know. Most cool and intriguing stuff is made by other men. I have gone through books, through lectures, web pages, pastebins, news articles, youtube documentaries and much, much more, which were all 100% exclusively male.

I didnt even aim for that at first as I just looked for dank memes and interesting stuff to read. but after a while it just became quality control.

>>18593120
and to add to that post: At some point I realized that the only thing that women have is "looking really cute and adorable while doing things"

Why havent more of them perfected these things. Why do they try to do something so hard that makes no sense. Why cant more girls just try to look really cute. I bet before this feminism crap, the way that girls got to a mans heart was with a composition of cute. A long orchestral piece of adorable!

why cant we have nice things like this anymore.

>>18592201
I don't know yet
All i can say is
>Doesn't like clubbing/partying
>6/10+ with good hips
>willing to improve herself
>supportive
>loyal
>Wants a big family
>Not really too fussed about the race, but still European White > Slav > American > Yellow > Brown > Black
>Money is a bonus

Women,

is anyone of you in a long-distance relationship? How do you make it work? Is it less or more maintenance, compared to a "regular" relationship? My girlfriend is going to move to the other side of the country for a year in two weeks and I want to make it work but I don't how how and what to avoid.
Any help appreciated!

going on vacation soon like 2 weeks. should i already schedule a future date with this girl im dating or just schedule when i come back.

>>18593214
My boyfriend and I are currently apart - over our 9 years together, we've been long distance for 4 (on and off). Right now he's working abroad, about 2 hours from here by plane.

We meet as often as possible. Right now we're meeting up every 2 weeks, before we did meet up once a month. We take turns.
We plan visits. Whenever we separate, I always know when I'm seeing him next.
We talk every day on the phone, and at least 2 times a week on skype. We also text every morning and evening.
We do things together - we watch tv shows, we read the same book and then comment on it, we follow sports together.
We're completely honest and open - we know each other's friends, we know where we are at any given time, we keep in touch all the time.
We have a lot of sad cyber sex.
We have a plan to close the distance.

It sucks. It is not ideal and I'd rather live with him instead of rushing to the airport every other friday to either fly to him or pick him up.
But he's worth it. That's really it for me. He's worth all the money, time and gas I pour into our long distance relationship.

So I just thank God that we live near two airports connected by Ryanair and wait till he comes back home to me.

>>18593090
>the guy so much as mentions threesome with a male or female partner I'm out.
Sounds excessive. There's a big difference between bringing something up out of curiosity and badgering your partner about it like your bf did. I've brought other stuff up to an ex and when they said no I dropped the topic.

Why do women hate each other

>>18593281
We don't.

Women, I seem usually get a lot of advances from not all that attractive girls.

Why is this? I'm not chad-tier, but I seem to be on that awkward plateau where maybe some women consider me more attainable, because they'll ignore guys who's not really attractive or atleast definetly less attrictive than me, but never really attempt to get a chad.

What's going on?

>>18593314
You answer your own question in part. You are cute, so you motivate them to take the risk and put themselves out there, but not so hot that they feel they would make a fool out of themselves by showing interest. On top of this, less attractive girls are on average more likely to take initiative because they actually do not live the whole "just get attention and love for existing" trope and realize earlier on that they have to actively chase what they want.

>>18593314
Hot girls don't need to approach guys

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So...I think I have a really unpleasant face. Maybe uncanny valley tier; I basically look like white Pocahontas. It'd be different if, y'know, I was that but I'm not...I just miraculously am the only one in my family to have those strong features and be asked if I'm Native American (I do have olive skin, but also golden brown hair and hazel eyes. Over the years I've had a few bad experiences relating to my appearance--not all of which related to being fat or my bad skin. So, I know my appearance is just a problem.

I don't think I'll ever be cute or ever believe that any guy's interest in me is for real--that's just a fact of life. However, how do I get over the emotional toll of hating my appearance and sticking out like a sore thumb?

>>18593319
The whole cute thing is confusing to me. How do girls find 'cute' guys even remotely attractive sexually? I'm under the impression that the way to get most girls is to be sort of primal in terms of attraction.

>>18593335
Cute is just a term for someone attractive but not physically striking/gorgeous.

>>18593335
>>18593337
Also for the record, women do still find their partner cute/loveable/adorable at times regardless of whether he is a lithe boyish looking guy or a burly hairy man. It is cute to see someone you feel tender and affectionate about be cute (like caressing an animal or getting giddy over a compliment/present or just being all sleepy after just waking up or whatever else) regardless of whether cute would usually be an apt description for him as an overall person.

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To anyone.

Preface: Me and girlfriend have been in a long-term relationship(5 year+), we were in a long distance relationship but weren't that far from each other and made it a point to visit each other often. In recent months though when she learned she was losing her job she started dressing differently and hanging out with her coworkers and friends more often, spending more time with them than with me, and often staying out late every night.

It finally crescendo'd a couple of days ago when I broke up with her(it was messy) in anger due to other reasons(but ultimately relating to her recent behavior), and since then she's completely gone zero contact with me. From removing me from friend lists to outright changing names on other programs so I can't contact her. I have texted and called her multiple times, but from what I can tell even though I'm not blocked she refuses to answer me.


The Question: Why and for what reason would she suddenly start acting so drastically different and why would she go full salted earth on me, but not block me on her phone?

Any answers and help would be appreciated, as this has dealt a huge blow and put me into a severe depression. I just wanted to try and work it out with her but as it stands it seems impossible and she seems unwilling.

>>18592222
Checked

>>18593474
You don't mention your ages but for young people it is relatively normal to go through phases and reinvent yourself (particularly in superficial ways like dressing). This applies all the more to people who are late bloomers and never really had that natural experimentation when they were teenagers and are only coming into their own later. You say she was losing her job, she might have felt down on herself and was looking for ways to boost her confidence. It is also possible that it was influence from her coworkers, some people tend to latch on attributes/traits of people they perceive as cooler than they are and emulate their style.

There's different reasons for why she did this and still kept you on her phone. Maybe she desperately needs the confirmation that you do try to reach out and aren't just turning your back on her, even if she doesn't want to talk to you right now. It's also possible that actually flat out disabling you to contact her at all is the final step she still feels too weak to take, because then it really is all officially done. I understand that you had your reasons for breaking up and that you're very hurt over this, but you did break up with her. She is also hurting.. which sadly doesn't mean there's hope or anything, don't get me wrong. Just that after five years, there's going to be pain at both sides.

>>18593513
We're both in our early twenties, and have been together since high school(though 90% of it was LDR). We were both each others firsts for everything.

To give some extra info, the day after I broke it off with her, I initiated a conversation where we were talking to each other to try and work it out. And I said some pretty hurtful stuff after getting angry at her again from the things she was saying, which she seemed to have taken very personal. A bit after that we were still talking to work it out, but then she repeated some of the stuff I said to her, and essentially saying she's always causing me problems.

That was the last time she responded back. And before anyone says anything I know I fucked up on my part, but I'm trying my best to fix it.

I really do appreciate your answer, as it has given me a different outlook on the situation.

Males, females, and other gender identifiers, new thread? If you didn't get your question answered sufficiently or at all, please repost :)

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>>18592201

>>18593542
I'm sorry man but I think the very best you can still do is let her know that you're sorry, you did see legitimate issues for wanting to break up but you don't want to be without her, you're going to give her space now but you haven't given up on her and if she does want to work on things she can get back to you. If she doesn't respond in a week or two at most, write her something short and sweet to indicate that you are taking this as a no and moving on, for the sake of giving yourself some closure.

It sounds to me like part of the issue is that you didn't just break up with her and tell her hurtful things, but she also saw reason in why you broke up with her, which mixes rejection and general hurt over losing you with guilt and self-loathing. That's a tough combination and there's little you can do to influence whatever she is going through now. Especially as you already don't have a clear idea of what exactly was going through her head leading up to all of this. Your only chance is she herself wanting to take the leap and try to talk about it anyway, which cannot be forced.

As for what it's worth, right now you're in the midst of all the emotions. Only once the dust has settled will you really be able to have a clear idea of what went down and whether you're happy/at peace with the way things went. Just because right now you feel like you fucked up doesn't mean you'll always feel like this. Not like you ragequit over nothing, after all. You might have just provided the final straw to a relationship on its way out already. Good luck anon.

>>18593582
Thanks man, what you're saying really does help a little. I hope you have a good day anon, you made mine a little brighter.

How do I get this girl I love to not be afraid I might hurt get?

>>18592201
Someone who is cute, kind, beautiful, and sweet. Someone who could be supportive of my mental troubles as well and won't leave me.

>>18592303
Just be kind and kinda gentle in a sense that the robot can feel safe and not anxious or paranoid that he's doing something wrong or not good enough. Just try to make him feel relaxed and at ease. Also if he opens up to you don't be surprised if you hear some really fucked up shit. If that happens you'll need to still be able to accept him through that. Hopefully this can help.

>>18592201
It really depends, you know

But ideally...

>5' 11"+ or under 5'2"
>skinny as a rail or pudgy and T H I C C
>elegant and beautiful or cute and playful
>kind and caring
>able to support me with her domesticity so I only have to worry about work

Basically I want to rarely have to actually run the household. I want a woman who can handle the nitty gritty of keeping the house in order so I can fully apply myself to my career and keep her and my children fed, clothed and sheltered

Oh and she has to be white with light colored eyes

>>18593335
>sort of primal
well i am testament to 'extremely primal' being super unattractive

>why are you so hairy
>you smell like sweat
>your beard is scratching my thigh
>have you ever tried waxing
>you're too big to fit in my car
>i got some hair in my throat
>why do you grunt so loud