I'm no longer attracted to my fat boyfriend

>>18589303
tell him to get in shape. give him a ultimatum

>>18589310
He makes excuses. He's been really overweight for 3 years now. I feel guilty because I don't want to hurt me but at the same time, I really need to feels sexy and desirable and when we're having sex he literally crushes my body and he's so gross I feel violated

>>18589303
you guys aren't married and don't have any kids so there is no reason for you to stay. Leave.

You can't help what you feel, either you're attracted to him or you're not. I mean, he literally grosses you out.
Honestly just be straight up honest with him, tell him exactly what you told us. Tell him that you love him, but that he disgusts you, and you keep feeling guilty over it but the feeling never goes away. Don't shy away from the sex stuff either, tell him all of it.
Because you love him he deserves to know how you feel.
He might get really angry, even shout at you, but really he is angry at himself for letting himself turn into a lardass. (The excuses play a lot into this.)
This will go two ways, either he goes further down the lard hole (I've been there, this will take years to dig out of), or he will get finally see how much he needs to get his shit in order and work towards slimming down. This will be a good excuse to try out new foods and maybe even improve yourself a bit as well, which will help motivate him as he's not the only one working on it.

If he keeps slipping down the lard hole after telling him these things, leave. He won't ever EVER slim down while you're with him. The only sensible thing to do is leave him.

>>18589316
man up and tell him. either he changes his life style or you leave.

>>18589303
Not to be assuming, but I'd say you are more grossed out by his negligence rather than his fat. That's not superficial at all.
I mean, his fatness is gross, but his life habits are probably even more repulsive and not attractive. If he was actively trying to loose weight you'd most likely still be attracted to him.

>>18589303
Lasted 2 years and he kept getting bigger and while I said little except to express concern for his health he blamed me for his weight gain. It was like he was testing me to see if I would love him no matter. Couldn't, just couldn't. If he cared so little why should I. Would only have sex with me on top and with the lights off and finally I just couldn't. He joined a gym I think knowing I may leave and he convinced me to help and go too but he only went twice, while I kept going. Not proud but met an older really fit good looking guy that worked out at the gym and accepted a dinner invitation. I started lying saying I was at the gym but was out with this other man and finally slept with him. Broke up with bf but the ironic thing is after the break up he lost all the weight, he says because of the stress. I didn't go back to him though he did look good.

>>18589303
Does he exercise? What did he eat? Can you do either of these things with him?

>>18589303
>Am I too superficial?
Nah, I know you're conflicted because it's your bf but you're absolutely normal in finding an obese body repulsive. It looks sick, doesn't even really look human and he's basically a disabled person just because he can't eat in moderation.

>>18589316
>he's so gross I feel violated
Lmao. I bet even if he knew that he would put all the blame on you for not liking "who he is" instead of taking a good look at other peoples bodies and himself. Here's some things I think you can do.

>take him to a doctor, doc will probably tell him about how his health has already deteriorated, tell him about future risk of staying obese
>become active together, start with daily 20-30 minute walks. Most stories of fat people losing weight down to normal start with them taking walks.
>watch that there's only normal food around the house, no cookies, no pizza, no soda

Don't set him an ultimatuum, set yourself an ultimatuum that sounds like "I'll try this and that by then, if he hasn't lost weight until x date I'll break up"

>>18589303

Fat guy here

I'm sorry for you and I hope your bf will understand and at least try to get in shape but, it is one of the hardest accomplishments to obtain.

In most cases there is no way out, but speak to him clearly that he's unattractive to you. He will be hurt but he will also grow up. In a way, being fat is like never growing up.

>>18589365
He doesn't exercise. He eats literally everything. One time he was so hungry he couldn't wait for the chicken to roast in the oven and he ate a fucking raw chicken.
>>18589329
like I said I love him, these feelings make me feel so guilty
>>18589344
i will try going to the gym with him. he's naturally lazy though
>>18589359
I'm grossed out by a lot of things, sometimes I can't tell where his face meets his neck, it looks so gross and I have to kiss him and pretend to feel turned on by him
>>18589364
I'm so tempted to cheat...I haven't felt desirable and sexy in ages
>>18589377
>I bet even if he knew that he would put all the blame on you for not liking "who he is"
Yes that's so him. One time after sex he got up and I just couldn't stay silent and I told him he looked like he was 9 months pregnant and he told me I was bullying him? He still eats like he wants a heart attack

Leave him but please please tell him why. That way he won't be in doubt about why it happened. The real reason will never occur to him. Tell him you're leaving because he's too fat. It's the only justice you can do at this point. I don't blame you for leaving. I would say give him a chance to lose weight but if you already did then adios.

Why did he gain weight? He must be depressed. Having someone who makes you feel bad about it only makes it worse.
Instead of being understanding, you're just thinking about yourself and your needs. You don't love someone only if they look a certain way. That's not real love

>>18589395
>I'm so tempted to cheat...I haven't felt desirable and sexy in ages
telling you when the guy asked me to dinner I almost screamed and the first time he kissed me I felt like a teenager and couldn't get him out of my head. Next time we saw each other I jumped him I was so worked up I broke the zipper on his pants.

>>18589395
>I'm so tempted to cheat...I haven't felt desirable and sexy in ages

I don't even understand this

why not just break up with him then? Why the cheating? What the fuck is wrong with people sometimes

>>18589502
real love doesn't exist for ever

>>18589395
Honestly why are YOU now the one making the excuses? Jesus christ tell him or leave him before you actually cheat and become as disgusting as he is.

>>18589532
>just break up with him

Just because you feel zero sexual attraction anymore for your partner doesn't mean you don't still love them.

This is not to defend cheating but breaking up is a lot easier in theory, when it concerns anonymous strangers, than when it is your own relationship ending.

>>18589395
Someone in love doesn't say that about the person they love.

Also, you are the one putting him down for being fat and you say you don't feel sexy and desirable? Strange logic.,

I don't think you love him. Leave him and do him a favour.

>>18589574
Yep this is so true. But if it's making you unhappy to stay, you should probably leave.

>>18589303
Just be honest. Say you still love him but you just can't get aroused by him anymore.