Lazy Wife Help

>>18589151
I would sit down and have a real grown up talk with her after you kid has gone to bed and put your foot down.

"Look, our daughter deserves a clean home to grow up in. I'm happy having you as a stay at home mom, I think it's best for her, but I am working outside the home. Your work is in the home. Do you think you could keep the house a bit tidier? I am not asking for much, I just need a little more attention to the home for the sake of our family." Something along those lines. If she gets mad, keep your cool and don't raise your voice. Make sure to be clear you aren't critiquing her as a mother or a wife, and that your main concern is the domesticity. Good luck, OP! Thanks for all your hard work and the support you give your family.

>>18589157
>I would sit down and have a real grown up talk with her after you kid has gone to bed and put your foot down.

Thanks for the well thought out response. Your advice is not bad advice, but I've tried it already. She claims to understand what I'm asking, says she agrees that's what she should do, and says she understands my feelings. But nothing changes. Days go by with no change, then weeks, then a month.

When I bring up the subject she accuses me of being nit-picky and says "you're just trying to pick fights". Its maddening and I really need a new strategy.

>>18589151
she won't do shit unless you make it clear that you're willing and able to get the fuck out of the relationship if she can't even keep the fucking home clean. man, the level of entitlement of some modern women ist astounding.

>>18589151
Sell the house and buy one you can afford. See if you're still upset with her once you've worked out your financial insecurity.

>>18589151
Dump the wife keep the daughter

>>18589151
I guess discussing the topic gets you somewhat angry, why don't you use that energy to do what you are asking for, not permanently of course, but start by showing her that even coming home from work you still have what it takes to clean the house.
Some days later you could ask her if she could do something, anything from what you said and get her to acquire the habit.
If she still refuses to do it, go to therapy anon to see at least if a 3rd person can convince her. Or at least to get to a pact.

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>>18589185
>Sell the house and buy one you can afford. See if you're still upset with her once you've worked out your financial insecurity.
The housing market where we live is such that I am already in the cheapest end of things. Nothing will be less expensive, and its not a standard of living thing, some housing markets are just absurd right now.

>>18589195
>I guess discussing the topic gets you somewhat angry, why don't you use that energy to do what you are asking for, not permanently of course, but start by showing her that even coming home from work you still have what it takes to clean the house.
That's what I have been doing for years and, you're right, it makes me angry. I've also tried "not" doing the housework, to see if she would take it over once it got bad enough. One time she went 3 months without doing any housework and neither did I during that period and the house got so bad I broke down and cleaned everything for my daughters sake.

>go to therapy anon to see at least if a 3rd person can convince her.

She refuses to go to therapy because she says "she isn't sure if she even wants to be married anymore and so there is no point in going to therapy to fix things".

>>18589191
>Dump the wife keep the daughter
Believe me that would be something I could get into. But since my wife hasn't had a job since we got married, and would probably end up with at least partial custody, I would be looking at alimony and child support payments so large that I would lose the home, and be lucky if I could afford to live in a cardboard box. Divorce would ruin my daughters life, and home.

I believe my wife realizes that I would be financially ruined, and our daughters life would be destroyed if I moved for a divorce. And knowing this, I believe she has decided that there is nothing I can do to coerce her to do anything.

>>18589238
She can't get partial custody if she has no job and isn't fit to take care of a child
And yes, that includes cleaning the house

>>18589151
>I just want a clean home for our daughter to grow up in. I don't think that's asking too much, and its not fair for me to have to pay all the bills and do the cleaning for three people.
Tell her exactly that, and that if she's not pulling her weight, she's dead weight and shouldn't be therevat all.

>>18589238
>I believe my wife realizes that I would be financially ruined, and our daughters life would be destroyed if I moved for a divorce. And knowing this, I believe she has decided that there is nothing I can do to coerce her to do anything.

I feel a murder suicide brewing

well. what does your wife do during the day? usually having a small child puts a wrench in the system for getting shit done.

>>18589388
A six year old is in school. The lazy ass wife has at least 6 hours of time to herself.

She's an entitled cunt.

>>18589388
>what does your wife do during the day?
sits on the couch with the TV on staring at her cell phone.
My daughter, being 6, is now getting to the point where she can dress, feed, and entertain herself, and thank god for that because its like pulling teeth to get my wife to do anything with our daughter beyond the bare minimum.

>>18589151
I feel you OP. Had similiar issues.
It seems that your wife isn't interested in the relationship anymore. So she gets unmotivated to do anything. Women are like pets. Unlogical stupid creatures. But we need them. So do you spend enough time with her. I mean do you two do something active togheter. If not try it out.

>>18589238
Consult a lawyer before coming to any conclusions. You know nothing and neither do we.

>>18589168
if she's never taken care of a house/home before, she may not actually understand how to do this on a scale that has any meaning.

she may need some basic lifeskill guidance. What do you think, anon?