ppl keep criticizing me for my bf

What about him commands any sort of respect?

Make excuses for him if you want, but it won't last at your age. Enjoy the experience for what it is regardless of what others say

>>18587206
>"shit" restaurant job
>only hobby is gaming
>stoner
>had a coke and weed problem
>dropped out of college a couple times

>VERY good guy

kek

>>18587245
yeah im basically like this and i know im a loser

>>18587206
>Stoner
No one respects a stoner, and that's before all the other problems.

>>18587206
Probably because they see something that your dipshit ass doesn't

>>18587250
Correction, nobody likes an unmotivated stoner. I know stoners who still get shit done.

>>18587206
You wrote a list of your boyfriend's deficiencies and then complained that you don't understand why people criticize you for dating him.

You should do whatever makes you happier and not worry about the thoughts and opinions of others unless they are somehow being negatively effected by his presence in their lives.

>>18587240
Well you're right. He knows he needs to get his shit together. It's making me feel like shit that i'm the one that gets criticized and he gets all the praise for having such a "nice" girl. Like wtf man

>>18587250

haha bitch you would respect me and you wouldnt even notice i've smoked weed every day for 2-3 years.

I'd imagine you'd feel stupid when I reveal i smoke weed to you. After we become friends that is.

You americans are so fucking judgemental and so busy of how others percieve you and those you care about.

Today I asked my grandmother how she and grandpa has succesfully stayed together for 54 years. Her response was: We love each other and we are kind to each other.

In my opinion you get criticized so much because the American society clearly looks down on people who arent striving to be succesful and have lots of money and have a million hobbies, chad and blablala.

From a norwegian standpoint:

>Why is working at a fucking resturant in your list? What's wrong with working at a resturant?

>Nobody has the right to judge a person for their height or weight? If he's weight is a problem for you sexually and he does not change after a talk then you'll get to decide if you love him enough to leave or not.

>I'm sure he will pick up other hobbies than gaming in the future. You can't force somebody to develop a hobby they actually like. Does he choose gaming over you? If not I don't see this as a reason to be upset or dissapoint in him.

>not attending school
Obviously not a smart move if you want a good job and comfortable job, which i guess can be a pain in the usa. few people wants to work at a shitty resturant or a grocery store for the rest of their life.

> By definiton I am a stoner but I never reveal it to new people unless they get close. From experiance i say weed can take you both ways. It can bring you down but also up. If he plays video games and smokes a lot, time passes by so quickly and before he realizes it he loses the stuff he actually cares about and that is real. like you. If he smokes in a smart matter and is able to put it away at will I don't see a problem with a person smoking weed. That also includes not forgetting about social activities and still be try to be outgoing, make friends, travel and focus on getting education/job etc. If he slacks on these things because of his weed smoking try talking to him about it. it's a trap ive fallen into myself.

> Whats wrong with never drinking? My uncle cannot drink alcohol. He has the education to become a lawyer with little effort. He lives happily with a great women he loves very much. What's the issue in not drinking?

If I asked his woman on a list to describe my uncle do you think she would list "never drinks" hahaha. Get real.

You say you think to marry? yes think hard. if you truly love somebody you dont ever let them go no matter what. Except if they leave or breaks the loyality.

might be some really bad grammar here but you can read it. not going trough to fix any big errors

>>18587630
No we wouldn't.

>>18587206
So drinking is good and weed is bad?

You little tart.

>>18587206
You know he's a shitty guy.
You don't want to lose him because you, like many women, are scared to lose your first love.

You'll eventually leave him when the negative effects of his lack of success, personality, and ambitions outweigh your urge to not let go of your first love. After this occurs, one of two things will happen:
1. You will then go through a phase where you hate yourself, and constantly sleep around
OR
2. You'll get over it, maintain your self respect, and wait for a guy who is objectively a better man than your current bf to come around.
It's up to you.

>>18587670

If you don't want friends then that's alright annon.

>>18587696

You'll eventually leave him when the negative effects of his lack of success, personality, and ambitions outweigh your urge to not let go of your first love. After this occurs, one of two things will happen:
1. You will then go through a phase where you hate yourself, and constantly sleep around
OR
2. You'll get over it, maintain your self respect, and wait for a guy who is objectively a better man than your current bf to come around.
It's up to you.

Hhahahaha to say such things about a person you know nothing about except a little fucking list. Pathetic. I swear some of the dumb i read on here.

>>18587645
Is this bait? I honestly can't tell anymore.

>>18587206
You sound like a 4/10 girl, while he sounds like a 3/10 guy. You should be able to land a 5/10 guy. Someone who works part time in an average paying job, slightly overweight and also supplements his video game habit with a weird hobby.

>>18587645
I'm American and I agree with your post.

>>18587727

Why would this be bait?

>>18587718
I'm sorry, have I struck a nerve?

I'm just going off of A. the information provided in the OP, and B. a basic understanding of female psychology that ought to be understood by any man who isn't a kissless virgin.

I'm not sure if you're OP; but if you are, maybe you should take the hint that almost everybody else in your life is trying to drop. You wouldn't make this thread if you didn't feel your viewpoint to be at least somewhat challenged by how they perceive your relationship (unless, of course, it is a bait thread).

And hey, if I am stupid, at least I'm not 5'5", broke, addicted to drugs and video games, AND stupid.

>>18587729
>average paying job, slightly overweight and also supplements his video game habit with a weird hobby.
That guy is shit compared to a skinny guy who works at a restaurant and does not spend time worth mentioning on video games

>>18587836

No i am not OP. I just commented your stupid comment. You assume so much about a person just from a small fucking list.

It's pathetic actually.

>>18587878
Well, what advice would you give to OP?

>>18587886

Figure out if she loves the dude or not.
Figure out if he loves her
Figure out if the dude is willing change himself for the sake of the relationship. (Some of the few things she listed can go real bad without change)

If you love your boyfriend and he is down for the challenge of change and start focusing on creating a home for your future children then why not help him try?

im no expert annon but seeing you americans rate eachother like crazy and constantly speak shit about your fellow countrymen simply because they are different heights, weights, jobs, ugly, fat, skinny and so much more makes me really glad I live in a country where the people with the most basic jobs are respected for their work. You can have ANY job in my country and you can life a comfy life being able to afford hobbies and a normal life.

Two of my closest friends from highschool here has very basic education and basic jobs. Still my guys has beautiful Gf's, plenty of friends and everything you need to chill here in life.

>>18588012

but hey first find out what it means to love i guess.
imo the word is just thrown around too much.

>>18588012
>where the people with the most basic jobs are respected for their work. You can have ANY job in my country and you can life a comfy life being able to afford hobbies and a normal life.
Even mine? Sitting in a warehouse doing nothing but phoneposting 80% of the time?

>>18587836
>AND stupid
nice kicker. I like you friend, you got spunk

>>18587206
OP listen to this anon, and dump the garbage.
I mean seriously, why are you with an actual... a definition of waste?
Do you chug diarrhea for fun?

>>18587645
Practical, Norwegian advice.

>>18587645
>>Why is working at a fucking resturant in your list? What's wrong with working at a resturant?
Two kinds of people work in restaurants. Hardworking teenagers and young adults paying their way through college, and drug-addicted walking feces that literally can't do anything better.
>>Nobody has the right to judge a person for their height or weight? If he's weight is a problem for you sexually and he does not change after a talk then you'll get to decide if you love him enough to leave or not.
Being a hungry skeleton is only slightly less bad than being fat. Being unhealthy is an indicator of unhealthy habits is an indicator of fucked up character.
>>I'm sure he will pick up other hobbies than gaming in the future.
You got a crystal ball? Most people who live like that don't change. They just carry on until their lifestyle becomes impossible to maintain.

>>18588099
That's an awfully tidy purview you've got there. Black and white with a couple morbid assumptions, especially without an age, build, etc.

The guy kicked a Coke habit, so that's at least an indicator of will and capability to self-improve. Now, picking up the habit in and of itself is questionable, but they sound like they're in their early 20's. Drug experimentation is a part of growing up.

I guess I just don't think the potential prospects are so concrete and grim.

>>18587206
OP, got anything good to say about him? What's the draw? Longevity? Stability?

>>18588145
>Drug experimentation is a part of growing up.
It's not supposed to be. It's only a part of growing up if your parents failed to teach you not to go anywhere near drugs well enough, because the only thing you have to learn from experimenting with them is "this was a huge mistake".

are you happy with him or not, are you dating ppl for approval of others or for yourself

I'm in a situation where I could see how people could look at my bf and I and wonder what I'm doing with him. But looking at his education and job doesn't give an accurate portrayal of who he is or how we make each other feel. Emotional connection is 10/10

>>18587206
>>no car, no job atm
>>go to gym 6 days a week and keep up with diet
How do you get to and pay for said gym if you don't work or have a car?

>>18588152
Hm. DARE did a number on you, huh? Moderation and a responsible approach can make drug-use a fun, rewarding experience for the common man or woman. Many can help you look at problems from a different angle or perspective. Others can help you maintain productivity longer. It's not the substance that is bad. Drugs and society have mingled throughout time. Agency lies with the abuser.

>>18587206
> I just wanna know why the fuck I get criticized so much for dating my bf

Because you let them do it.
So they do it again.
And the more you let them, the deeper and more often they do it.
The more you let them, the more barriers they cross.
And there you are, listening to their bullshit again like if you were a little girl.
Why do you have to put up with this shit OP?

>>18587245
>>"shit" restaurant job
You're joking, right?
It's all shitty, even to the wait staff that have comfier positions compared to the rest of us. You HAVE to have solid skin or be dead inside to call a restaurant job '''good'''. Hell, the pay's not that good, they just do it so they get paid at all.

Otherwise, yeah, sounds like a true champion.

>a cokeheaded burnout gets a fucking loving, caring, supporting athletic gf...who's more or less a NET
>I don't
*tips trilby in sadness*

don't mind them

>>18587645
Holy shit. Are people in Norway really this nice? Your women dont care if you work a shit job either?

>>18588402
No, he's just an edgy kid who thinks being Norwegian makes his opinion more valid.

>>18588402
bit hypocritical because every wage in norway is a liveable wage aslong as you are full time, but yea, as long as you arent a slob, women will be fine with whatever you do

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Successful guy here who is a professional accountant and can bag the kind of girls that I want. I'm not saying I am not flawless, but I am not a pussy like your boyfriend.

In high school I knew a few of the type of your boyfriend... the stupid, scrawny, druggy loser type. People can spot that personality from 100 miles away, and they want better for you.


Also, how does it make you feel that your boyfriend is literally only slightly heavier and the same height as my QT girlfriend who I throw around the bedroom and pick up and hold her up in the air when I fuck her?

OP, the advice I have to tell you is, faggots like your boyfriend will NEVER catch a break because they just don't have a clue. In years past, that kind of guy would be the one who shovels horse shit for a living. But we live in the modern world... so there aren't really enough shit shoveling jobs to go around.

Ditch the loser. Work on yourself, and find a real man.

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>>18588453
>look at me i have a small cock please love my money

>>18587206
Maybe if you could see your bf with everyone else's POV, you would understand. No one would like to have a daughter engaged with a drug addict. About the height and weight, yeah they are just idiots for taking on your bf. Although I would say his weight is reaaally below what would be ideal for his height, ~30lbs or more, so I guess he looks like a skeleton, which is quite unhealthy.
Not critizing though, if you like him the way he is, fine, that's what matters, you are the one who chooses to be with him.

why the fuck are you with this loser?

>I get made fun of bc of his height and weight
His weight is kind of out there, but either you're exaggerating the height issue or you surround yourself with shitty people. Like christ my friend is like 5'4" dating a guy that's just as tall and no one really gives them shit over it.

>My parents don't like him, despite him being a VERY good guy.
This part is not surprising whatsoever. He's a decent guy but he has no future basically. He's a college dropout stoner that has no higher aspirations.

>>18587645
>Today I asked my grandmother how she and grandpa has succesfully stayed together for 54 years. Her response was: We love each other and we are kind to each other.
That's the pg version. Finances are one of the largest sources of stress in a relationship and this is hardly isolated to Americans. There is nothing wrong with working at a restaraunt, if you are using it as a stepping stone to something better (such as paying the bills during college or tradeschool). By all accounts it appears her boyfriend will be 30 years old and working a shitty minimum wage job.

Being a good guy doesn't feed a family, it doesn't put a roof over your head, it doesn't put you kids in school and out doesn't guarantee a future. Your friends and family are off put in your choice of partner because they obviously know you can do well for yourself, and are instead setting for some lowest common denominator teddy bear with a cock.

Dating an unimpressive loser is safe because you never worry about them cheating, but the reality is that after a few years, you're gonna get REAL sick of him making $12 an hour, of coming home and jumping on the video games right away, of neglecting your needs as a partner because ITSSSS HAAAAARD.

I know all this because I was your boyfriend not too long ago.

>>18587630
Stoner like as "does coke" weed is not even a heavy drug you edgy fuck.


"Look at me I'm a stoner I do weed 2 times a week, how edgy I am. GUYS LOOK AT ME I Am So SmArT"

You fucking piece of kek

>>18588402
>thinking one opinion is the opinion of an entire country

Americans

How old is OP's boyfriend anyways? Isn't it sorta acceptable to have a shit job if you're like 20 years old (which it sounds like they are)?

What are your ages? If you are young your taste can still change greatly.

People give you that reaction because it's almost always expected the man is above the woman in pretty much all fields. Even very successful women almost always go for even more successful men. The opposite situation is not impossible but uncommon.

>>18588211
I agree with this and its off topic but experimenting w drugs does help you grow as a person. In my case i got into the loser stoner trap, then started doing acid and now i cherish being sober and do no drugs. A lot of other issues were also resolved and are in the process of being resolved

>>18589100
I am 19 he is 20

>>18587645
Fuck. Why do Scandinavians always just get it. I wish my shit country full of fat retards could be more like yours

>>18589136
Ok so, this is pretty much around the age where he's gonna shape up, or you're gonna break up. But I was a little older and him before I even thought about getting my act together, so I guess he gets a little slack.

>>18589367
how will i know if he'll shape up?

seriously considering whether i should just end it now and suffer the heartbreak or enjoy it while i can.
he claims he's trying to get his act together and he's very aware that IM aware that he needs to get his shit together. i know i have my own flaws to work on.
besides that he is an incredibly supportive and loving person, but like mentioned before, that's not gonna pay the bills or help ME in the long run. selfish i know.

>>18588200
19 yrs old still dependent on parents

>>18589378
yeah you should probably break up with him so he can find someone who isn't primarily concerned with how their partner will financially support them

>>18588931
what made you realize you needed to grow up

>>18589383
that's true , thanks for the advice

Firstly he is shorter and skinnier than you, so it already seems unnatural, but you can put this aside since it doesn't bother you.


Secondly he has no ambition. You need to force him to get a better job or get some skills/education to get a better job. Get him to start acting like an adult and not a boy, and for God's sake, no man should be playing more than 3 hours of video game in a week.

>>18589397
how can i do that when i'm barely doing the minimum myself?

>>18587727
>>18589145
>>18588521
>>18588402
>>18588099
>>18588088
>>18587732
Because the solution is clearly to just let this lazy, burnout asshole continue being a lazy burnout asshole, right? How dare the OP consider leaving someone who is clearly a loser. She should just love and accept him for who he is and not demand the best out of her significant other.
That's the mentality of a lazy, worthless dreamer. If this guy is an unemployed, unskilled, uninteresting, out of shape drug addict, why the hell she anyone tolerate his shit?

>>18589513
This.