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depressed i guess

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Sup guys, I'm about to go into my junior year in college for engineering. I am at a school that I really don't like after transferring from a school I hated. When I transferred I was lied to by an incompentent administrator in the transfer process and even though I had A's in the classes I had already taken at my last school, I was forced to retake a bunch of stuff. I screwed up a bunch of classes my first year after transferring and just took some summer school classes. I get really debilitating panick attacks sometimes and I just failed the final for the class that is bottlenecking me from the rest of my degree. I don't know what happened, I studied really hard and knew the material but when the test game I forgot everything. this test was most of the class grade and failing it means I failed the class. this means I'm stilled barred from repeating the courses I already passed and had A's in because of one class. Essentially I will be a second semester junior with as many credits, still taking freshman classes for my degree.

My GPA is fucked from transferring because school policy resets transfer student GPA's when I had a 3.7 my freshman year. I'm stuck at a school I don't want to be at, 2 years behind everyone else my age and I'm still trying to transfer to the main campus of the school I'm at so I can actually switch to the degree I want.

in other news I still am stuck on this one girl who broke my heart really bad 3 years ago, I miss he terribly and haven't heard from her in 3 years. I tried getting over her and dating around but 1. ive never met anyone else I liked. 2. there aren't very many women out there I have wanted to date anyway. I have been on dates with women since but nothing has changed. she was the whole reason I went to college in the first place, She convinced me to turn my life around and made me want to better myself and being with her made me happy.


I kinda want to kill myself but I'm too afraid of death to try, what do?
>>
Don't give up. Talk to someone in advising about your options. Your age doesn't matter at all; some people start college after working for several years. Talk to someone in the counseling/disability services at your school, see if you can get extra time to take exams.

Practice under pressure. Every practice exam you take is THE REAL THING and feel that stress as you take that practice exam. Do it with a time constraint. This prepares you to use your brain when taking the real exam. Good luck op, you've got this.
>>
>>18586862
I know that age does not matter in college but i cant shake the feeling im getting left behind in life while everyone i know is vastly more successful than i am and im worried i womt be successful in what i want to do in life. In loos a lot like i wont finish school till im 25 and it drives me nuts. I screwed up a lot in the past and it's somthing thats been chasing me forever. I didnt even want to go to school originally, and i almost failed out of highschool because i didnt do homework for 3 years. I only changed in the hopes of being good enough for the girl im stuck on and that one way i can be with her. And now I realize that college is about the only way to be successful anymore.

Also the advisors at my school are incompetent and the reason i got screwed on transferring. The advisor im assigned is a dumbfuck.
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