How to overcome being obssessive

Op here sorry for broken english, its like 12.30am and im too busy refreshing my facebook feed for a reply. Jesus...

>>18585490
you are basically right, you are too obsessive
it's probably some genetic defection, some are born like that some arent
feels good to be free from this shit

>>18585505
Anon please help me i really don't want to be like this. I don't think its healthy but i dont know how to stop :(

>>18585512
i will try, this might take a while tho
would you like if she obsessed over your activities like you do?

>>18585490
Is she your girlfriend or just a friend? Either way, chill out. You're only going to scare her off and fuck yourself up by overthinking everything. Find a hobby to take your mind off things.

>>18585490
You are obsessing because you world is only as big as to encompass here. Expand your world, anon.

You have placed all your faith/love/desire/attention/whatever into this one person. That's not a healthy thing to do, even in a marriage. Furthermore, its not fair to her.

>>18585515
Considering i have a massive crush on her, probably not but i am unsure. My ex was obssessive similar to me and it got very annoying after a while (together for 4 years) but this one, i dont do anything that ensure she knows im constantly keeping in check

>>18585526
You're not even her boyfriend. You're going to scare her off.

>>18585490
you sound like the male version of me. it's exhausting and shameful how pathetic you feel for obsessing over little things while they don't have the slightest clue. i'm not over it, but distracting yourself with something other than your daily routine like a consuming hobby, and spending a lot of time being social with others helps. it helps brings things into perspective. hope you do ok OP

>>18585526
hmm you got some high level of poisoning going on then
you should start slow and progress, try to suppress your urge to stalk like once every 10 times, then progress from there until you can handle it so that you mind your own business

>>18585530
I know anon, and i want help on how to fix this. I usually play this online video game to keep my mind off things but she is also playing and seeing her online just throws me off even more (she is online alot more then me) ;~;

>>18585538
>she is online alot more then me
she's probably a slut-chan

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8KB, 107x103px

>>18585543
I really don't think so, she just plays video games to keep mind off things. She plays with whoever is asking her, and me being the obssessice piece of shit i am want to be with her constantl, but i am trying to keep it down. I just don't know how to cope.. i am thinking of creating distance from her but from what ive learnt from these past few months with her she very easily cuts off even close people in her life.

>>18585553
self centered bitch

>>18585538
It is hard I guess but you've got to try your best to stop caring as much. It's like the saying, let it go and if it comes back it's yours.

>>18585565
Who me? :/
>>18585571
Ill try not to care, i mean i have other friends too but im slowly starting to neglect them for her. Its just like say... i say to myself " ok ill just uninstall x" so i dont have to check up on her but then 10-30 min later i just reinstall and try to do my thing..

>>18585588
>Who me? :/
no, that girl
she probably just baits for orbiters all over the net and cuts off the boring ones

>>18585594
Well ive met her in real life and it seems she only have guy friends for some reason, i feel its for some sort of emotional support for all the shit in her life. But its not like she is going around fucking her friends, i know this person.

>>18585606
she smells of extremly poisonous girl, wants lot of people to confort her and tell her she is special or something
since even normal girls couldnt stand her level of attention whoring, she was forced to resort to online betas to satisfy her needs
of course i can be wrong but the situation isnt looking too good

>>18585614
I dont know anon, i spoke to her in real life like a week ago and she talked about her depression and stuff, and it just made me want to be closer to her and help her. Maybe you are right, maybe she tells all the secrets or her close family matters to everyone, but whenever we spoke she would always claim " idk why i tell you everything" and things like that. I understand how beta i am sounding but i do genuinely like this person, despite her flaws which she does have.

>>18585637
im not saying you should run away screaming but there are plenty of hints that should make you keep up a straight guard for a good while
it's ok to want to help people, just be careful not to be the one that comes in all fine and gets out crushed to bits

>>18585647
The more i speak with you, the more i realise how you are right. But i just still want to help this person, i can't happily look at her destroy her life playing video games all day and lose motivation to do things. But part of me wants to say fuck this because right now i really feel like another toy that will be replaced down the road, because i know she cuts off people very easily and very undermines friendship. Like for fuck sakes, this girl gets asked out by her friends on daily basis and she compains to me about not having friends for the last couple of years...

>>18585664
can only say to be careful. if you have a very trusted friend irl that has good judgement, ask him for help since he can be more cool about everything and even if your heart/dick thinks otherwise, you should trust him
as long as you keep in mind that it's possible she is just acting for attention, you should be able not to fool yourself into hell
maybe ask those things you are writing "you say you have no friends but you get regulary invited out, what do you mean by that?" and see if she has some solid explanation or just emotional stuff
im not good at those tricks tho, the only suggestion i truly believe you should listen to is to be on guard, nothing more nothing less

>>18585685
I do have couple of freinds and ill have a chat with them, but i feel like i already know they will tell me to move on from this person and avoid them. But you know, what "if" i am the only one that knows about her bigger problems she doesnt share with others, what if i am the only help she has?

>>18585490
So far we know she's...
>self-centered
>attention seeking
>depressed
>only has guy friends
>cuts contact with people easily, even if close
>opens up about her personal issues to anyone (for attention, and makes those guys want to protect and help her)

Most of these are traits of Borderline Personality Disorder, and if she might have that then stay away anon, for your own mental well-being

>>18585701
try it and see how it goes, if it's attention whoring you will realize soon enough. be careful of manipulation warfare, she's probably top skill

>>18585711
Everything youve listed is exactly how it is anon, but from my perspective. I may be inaccurate with how i interpret things i say because theres always two sides of a story.
>>18585712
I think ill stick around a littlw bit longer, confront some of these issues and see how it goes. If it doesn't work i might have to cut ties for good

Anyway OP here again, ifs 2am and i think i am going to head to bed but anon please keep posting suggestions on what to do. Ill check the thread in couple hours.

>>18585726
Yeah, what's been suggested here is good. You don't want to get too clingy because you'll scare her off, and by the sound of it she probably doesn't really care about you, so the more you become obsessed with her; the more its gonna hurt once rejection comes into play.
All I can suggest is you stop being obsessive over every detail, and just try to keep talking with her every now and then, but nothing too clingy.

>>18585490
I use to do that too man, would refresh this girls tumblr/instagram ... did it for like 3 yrs straight. we are dating now but - man i was totally obsessed.

>>18585711
I had oneitis for someone like this for a while. She would invite me over and I would spend the night and things were awesome, then she would cut contact with me and keep stringing me along in this cycle of bullshit and I fell for it for a while. I noticed I was becoming obsessive and turning down other things so I'd be available for her if she called. I realized this was not a healthy situation and that she didn't respect me at all.

I was the typical fat loser through college so I didn't have much dating experience but I made an effort to put myself out there now that I had lost the weight. In a short amount of time I met several women, some I'm friends with still and one I'm dating, that were better people to be around and didn't have the mental issues that my ex-oneitis had.

My point is, when you put all your eggs in one basket, you start thinking that SHE is the only one/the best/the perfect match. But in reality she's probably not all that great and has personality issues. You just can't tell because you have no point of reference.

Get out there and meet more people. There's a better girl out there.

>>18585794
Not OP but how Do i get myself out there anon?

Damn thats also where i am at now. Had 2 semi-good dates with this amazing girl from tinder. She went in to kiss me, but afterwards texted way less and then said she isnt ready for a relationship. Im constantly checking if she sent storys on snapchat/instagram and facebook...
Last date was exactly a week ago. I sent again yesterday asking how she was doing and she replied quite fast. Think i will just ask her if she wants to do something again.

Op here, thanks for all the replies. I have come to the conculsion that i should just remain friends with this person and treat her normally and try to find other people to conform myself. Thanks alot to the anon who spoke to me, really means alot. Furthermore, people can now use this thread in similar situation for help, i am done now.

>>18587224
i am in a similar situation and don't know what to do

>>18586861
Go to parties, become more socially active etc. and eventually the work will pay off in one way or another.

>>18586861
It's really painful in the beginning but you just have to do it. Pretend it's a video game and you have to grind out the early levels until you get enough xp and it gets fun.

>>18585490
same exact situation, but i met this girl over Facebook, no irl contact, it burns me to be all obsessive over her but at the same time I'm not shit to her or someone to her