Please give me a reason to not kill myself

>>18584132
Man your situation seems to suck. Definately kill youself. And don't botch it. Go full linking park bruh. Your life cant get any worse

Do you care about the people around you? Cause their lives will be way shittier if you die. Keep going man, even if it's just for them.

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>>18584176

I do care but..I've had enough.

It's not like they'll show any gratitude for me staying alive for them, and they don't have to, obviously, no one has a clue of what's really going on with me.

It's just not fair everyone having the drive to live and moving forward with the live they want to live and me just fucking stuggling to stay alive for them not to feel sad, there has to be a point where you have to think for yourself

What's your mum doing my man, is she working?

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>>18584198

Yeah, she works, doesn't get paid much, like 1000 a month, she can't pay the rent alone, but I'm tired as fuck with all I do and sometimes she's not nice to me, and I am not nice in return. I was planning on eventually leaving the country anyway, and she was fine with it.

But why even bother, the world is such a fucked up, unfair place that I don't even want to be a part of this bullshit, and it just keeps getting worse.

It's selfish to have children and give them a life in this shithole planet.

>>18584132
I want you to think about your mom real quick.

Even if you two don't get along great, even if you don't like her, if you killed yourself you would devastate her. If you've got friends, they'd be torn up.
Suicide doesn't get rid of your pain, it just gives it to someone else. It's a selfish solution.
If you need a reason to wake up tomorrow, do it so you can see the sun come up. Or so you can see the leaves change in autumn. Or so you can see snow. Or so you can finally listen to that album that your favourite artist made.
I know where you're coming from. If for nothing else, live out of spite. I did that for a long time.

>>18584283

>if you killed yourself you would devastate her. If you've got friends, they'd be torn up. Suicide doesn't get rid of your pain, it just gives it to someone else. It's a selfish solution.

I know, but enough is enough

You need a change in environment. Get your mother and yourself outta there and set up somewhere else.

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I don't know, I just did it all fucking wrong, became an antisocial punk instead of someone with contacts to be able to move ahead with my projects. I know it's not too late to change, I just can't. I know some things I wish I didn't and I can't forget. There is no happy ending for people like me.

I hate to sound like an asshole, but you're only 19. You barely got a taste of life, and your situation doesn't sound so bad in itself..

Im guessing you don't live in the US, because with tips bartenders can take home 2k a month. Still that is good work experience, at 19 I was still flipping burgers. If you have diagnosed depression you should seek medial help, but besides that you have a lot of time to get a better job or find out what you want to study.

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>>18584351

I can't, I have no money, my mother seems to be happy here. I am not very social. I am kind and good to people, but apparently I'm also intimidating and "too tough" which scares people away. I won't let anyone through. I can't, or I feel like a bitch,

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>>18584361

I don't have diagnosed depression, I never went to a doctor for this and I won't, because I won't take any fucking meds that fuck with my brain. But what the hell is this then? I am very sure this kind of pain for so long isn't normal.

I don't want to study, I have no reason to do so, I either live of off making music, or I die. All or nothing. I suck at everything else.