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I'm 27, I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend who is 25, we've been together for about 2 and a half years now and living together for the past year.
First year or so of our relationship was 'long' distance, about 2 hours away from eachother. We had our ups and downs but 99% of it was fucking brilliant. We spent a full weekend with each other about once every 2 weeks and fucked the life out of each other. (As expected in a new relationship) And most of all we loved spending the time with each other, regardless if sex was involved.
Like I said, we've been living together for just over a year now and the issue is that about a month after we moved in, she lost interest in sex. Over the past 12 months we have probably had sex 10 times? And when we did have sex, generally she had been out with some of her work friends and she came home tipsy/drunk. During this time we have played around, foreplay and teasing but she gets very 'excitable', almost in a playful childish way and 'wears herself out' before we get anywhere near sex, completely losing interest and leaving me feeling deflated.
Last week we spoke about it (We had touched on the issue months ago but she avoided questions or gave generic excuses) and she explained that she simply doesn't have the interest any more, the urge isn't there. I asked her if she was still attracted too me, as over all this time with no genuine reason coming forward I've wondered many things. (Is she seeing someone else? Is she no longer attracted too me? Should I end the relationship in a sorry attempt to save whats left of my deflated ego and move on?) She told me she was very much still attracted to me, and still lusts for me but again says that her urge just isn't there. When she told me this, I couldn't understand. How can she lust for me, but then not have any urge for intimacy?
TL;DR - What the fuck do I do? How can I get her interested in sex again? Is this a genuine phase that women sometimes go through? Halp.
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it can happen, my older sis 27, has about 2 year relationship, I live in same flat so i know their problems too well... they have same problem of girl not wanting sex, she told me its just she is too much stressed after work and just wants to sleep, i know they arguea about that, but they also tend to argue about small stuff
and i can guarantee that she is not seeing anyone and that she is really too tired after work.... it might be simmilar issue with your gf
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>>18583541
If you've come to her with your problem and she isn't interested in solving it beyond offering you the reason that her urge just "isn't there", it indicates to me that you're in breakup territory since she's not interested in putting any work into the relationship
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did she change pills recently? does she have her hormones checked regularly?
i had one relationship ruined cause pills took away my desire to have sex completely (well, made me quite depressed in fact). took me about half a year to recover from the hormonal issues.
good luck.
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My wife of 4 years has a condition called PCOS which has a number of side effects. Several are related to weight gain but also lowered libido, decreased production of natural lubricants, and of course cysts in her ovaries which can be painful.
Her gyno ran a blood test and found out she has a genetic mutation that causes insufficient production of a certain metabolite protein involved in hormone production.
Its beyond her control so sometimes she just has sex to make me happy. She claims that 75% of the time she enjoys it and I have no real reason to doubt her, but its really hard to fight through all of that and be horny.
It kills the mood for me when she isn't into it so I've just accepted that there will be less sex, but when weare able to it is great.
She recently gave birth so its been months since we have had sex. She wants to make me happy though so she is more than willing to give a blowjob when she can. Between our kid, being exhausted, and worry about the pain she might have from me penetrating for the first time, it just hasn't happened and I don't expect it to happen for a few more months.
TLDR: Have her see a gyno or psych and see if there is a bigger issue
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>>18583541
Also its perfectly natural in any relationship to get over the infatuation. Studies show that it only lasts about a year and a half and is referred to as the honeymoon period.
Even if you fuck like its your job originally, it slows down for everyone. Once a month is a bit low but again, there may be a chemical/hormonal reason behind it.
If its obvious she cares about you still then dont worry. Just be supportive and try to get her the help she may need.
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>>18583684
Ah yeah... I was diagnosed with PCOS recently.
They gave me all these papers to read, some of them say that 1 out of 10 women have PCOS?! (It mostly goes undiagnosed.)
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Problem is you've made it clear that she has the power in the bedroom. She has something you want and will use that to her advantage. Tell her your thinking if taking a break. Maybe you Not being there will remind her that she appreciates you. Either that or she's fucking some one else.
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>>18583684
My Gf has PCOS as well, and when she told me she explained to me that it was a common thing.
Thing is, there are times when she can't get enough sex.
I just recieved a message from her saying she wants some. We just had sex yesterday.
Might be the hormone drug things she's taking.
Anyway, for OP, maybe try exploring new things? Have you asked her if she has any kinks or something? Maybe there's something she needs she hasn't said?
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>>18583541
Try Tantra or some other new fancy sex practice together.
Tantra is good, though.
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