Lovers Quarrels

>>18583078
not at all at first, because we usually have a very good time together, and way beyond the honeymoon phase (talking years)

but eventually they try to pull some absolute bullshit with me, like cheating or hiding me from people, and then the bickering becomes so intense that we break up.

So I guess I would say I'm agreeable and there is no bickering until the ho tries to pull some shits and I don't tolerate it.

My wife and I generally snap at and fight each other over various stupid shit at least once a week. Is this normal?

I think (barring cheating/abuse, which I would end the relationship rather than argue with them) there's really no reason to fight with your partner. All disagreements can be settled calmly if both parties are mature adults. Yelling, screaming, name calling, silent treatments, those are all shitty things to do to someone, especially someone you love. Sometimes emotions get the best of all of us, but once you've composed yourself you should always apologize and talk with your partner about it.

Open and honest communication along with trust and respect are the basic building blocks of any healthy relationship.

>>18583118
what about just getting heated and being insistent or raising your voice a bit? sometimes people are just like that, and it's nothing extreme.

>>18583107
that depends on the severity of the argument and the feelings afterwards. I guess either way it contributes to stress for each of you. stressed people tend to bicker a lot.

>>18583078
About once a week. It's pretty normal to considering you spend a lot of time with them and fuck them too.

When people are indifferent is the time to worry.

>>18583130
>what about just getting heated and being insistent or raising your voice a bit? sometimes people are just like that, and it's nothing extreme.
Most healthy and emotionally mature adults can control their emotions and tone of voice, as well as volume. Only people I've met who were unable to do so usually had personality disorders.

>>18583130
>stressed people tend to bicker a lot
I hope that's just it.

>>18583137
you're being a little extreme. we're arguing now and it's not a personality disorder. if I raised my voice a bit because I was passionate I don't think that would be the end of the world

It's okay to fight. People's buttons get poked, which hurts us, and we lash out from the pain. Fighting doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is at risk.

Most fights aren't really about what you're fighting about. Usually there's stuff going on beneath the surface. It's not people playing mind games because we usually aren't aware of it. Usually, the fights boil down to us wondering if our partner is really, truly there for us and connected with us

>>18583141
Being in control of your emotions is a skill that's gained over time, and something that most people 25+ (at this age your brain finishes developing) are adept at. People who were raised in abusive environments or are otherwise emotionally stunted (in my anecdote, personality disordered individuals) will have trouble with this.